Ana Seymour (12 page)

What was wrong with him? He was smart enough. Handsome enough. He could be funny and witty and charming. That much was amply proved by the number of women who threw themselves at him nightly at the Golden Garter. There’d been one especially pretty brunette who’d been flirting with him all week long. Last night she’d invited him to her room. “No charge for you, Sean,” she’d purred.

He’d looked at her lush breasts half spilling out of her satin gown, had thought of Kate, lithe and sweet and loving, and had almost been sick right there on top of the polished mahogany bar.

He splashed water on his face. It was dirty water from yesterday or perhaps two days ago or three. He’d told the servants not to enter his room unless he specifically directed, and evidently they’d taken him at his word. There was no towel on the rack. Then he spotted it thrown on the floor half under his bed.

His knee throbbed from his upright position. He looked in the mirror again. What had Nonny said last night? That Kate had made a good decision. He gave a harsh laugh. Well, hell, hadn’t he always said that Nonny was the wisest person he’d ever known?

He limped back across the room and sat on the bed.
What was Kate doing right now? he wondered. And Caroline? Her first birthday had passed, and he hadn’t been there to celebrate it. Was she walking yet? Or talking? When the hell did babies start to talk anyway?

He squeezed his eyes tightly shut as tears burned behind his eyelids. God, he missed them.

With a groan he rolled back on the bed, pulled the covers over himself and went back to sleep.

Y
ou might as well give up and agree to marry me, Kate,” Lyle said as they sat together on the front porch swing.

“Lyle, we can’t even talk about such a thing. I’m already married.”

“A technicality. My father’s lawyers can have that taken care of in a month. Then you can forget you ever heard of that big-city scoundrel and settle down to a nice life here with me.”

Kate shook her head. She put her hand on Lyle’s arm. “Don’t think I’m not appreciative, Lyle. You’ve been loyal to me for so long.”

“Years,” Lyle inserted.

“Yes, years. But it’s not just a matter of lawyers. Sean is Caroline’s father.”

Lyle gave a snort. “A lot of good it does her to have a father she never sees. Kate, you’ve got to face the facts. If Flaherty wanted you, wouldn’t he have come racing after you when you left San Francisco?”

Kate had already admitted to herself and to Jennie as well that in the most secret part of her heart, this is
exactly what she had hoped would happen. She’d been bitterly disappointed when the weeks went by without word from him. But she wasn’t about to share this with Lyle.

“I’m sorry, Lyle. I’m just not ready to talk about things like this.”

Undaunted, the banker’s son stood and reached his hands out to her. “You will be before long. I’ll give you another couple of weeks. In the meantime, come with me. I have something to show you.”

Mystified, she followed him down the path to the street. Lyle had arrived in his family’s big phaeton rather than on his horse as he normally did, but Kate hadn’t paid much attention. When they reached the carriage he gestured to the backseat where a beautiful painted rocking horse perched on the cushions.

“Oh, Lyle!” Kate exclaimed. “It’s precious.”

“It’s for Caroline. A Christmas present.” His voice was smug. “Shall I bring it into the house now or do you want me to wait until Christmas?”

Kate reached out a hand to touch the shiny surface. It was elaborately detailed with a real leather saddle and bridle. “I’ve never seen anything quite like it,” she said. “But Lyle.it must have cost a fortune.”

“Nothing’s too good for the daughter of my future wife.”

Kate shook her head but smiled. “You
are
good to us, Lyle. I want you to know that I appreciate it.”

“I don’t want appreciation, Kate. I want a wedding date. But—” he held up a hand as she began to protest “—I said I’d let it go for a while longer. So just consider
this a present for Caroline from Uncle Lyle. It should brighten up her Christmas.”

“It certainly will. It’ll brighten up Christmas for all of us.” Just yesterday she and Jennie had tabulated the bills on the house and the remaining medical bills from their parents’ deaths and Kate’s hospital stay to see if they’d have any money left for a proper celebration. They’d concluded that they would be wise to make it another year of homemade gifts.

“I’ll bring it by on Christmas,” he said. “I’d like to watch her face when she sees it.”

Kate gave him an impulsive hug. He
was
good to them, and genuinely fond of Caroline. Perhaps she was foolish to discount his offer of marriage just because he didn’t make her heart race the way Sean had. There were more important things in life than that, she told herself firmly. Things like loyalty, stability, responsibility.

She said goodbye to Lyle, then stood watching for a long time as the phaeton rumbled down Elm Street toward town. In San Francisco, Nonny had told her in so many words that Sean still had growing up to do. Well, maybe Kate did, too. Maybe it was time she put aside the foolish romantic notions of her youth and set herself on a course that made sense for both her own future and that of her child.

“What would you say if I told you that I’m considering marrying Lyle after all?” Kate asked casually.

Jennie dropped the pan of butter beans. “Damn it! Whoops, sorry, the men’s language up at the mine is infecting me.” She bent to retrieve the mess.

“It’s time you let me take over for you up at the mine, sis. When I was carrying Caroline, you wouldn’t let me so much as dust the banister.”

Jennie ignored her sister’s comment and returned to the original subject. “What would I say to you marrying Lyle? I’d say you were plumb out of your head and tell you to go take a powder and he down until supper.”

Kate laughed. “Seriously, Jennie. It’s not so crazy. He’s been in love with me since—”

“Since grammar school. I know. And all those years have not made him one whit more likable.”

“You should see the Christmas present he’s bought for Caroline.”

Jennie looked up at her sister and narrowed her eyes. “Katherine Marie Sheridan, do you mean to tell me you’re about to sell yourself out to some man you don’t love and never have loved and never will love because he’s able to buy you pretty things? As Mother used to say, there’s a name for ladies like that, and it’s not ‘lady.’“

Kate plopped down onto the stool alongside the big wooden counter and rested her elbows on the table, her chin m her hands. “I guess you’re right.”

“You know darned well I’m right. Lordamercy. Anyway, how can you talk about marrying Lyle? Last I heard you were married to Sean. Am I missing something here?”

Kate waggled her head on top of her folded hands. “No. I’m still married, as far as I know. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if Harriet had already put the machinery into gear to have us divorced or annulled
or whatever she plans to cook up so that she can marry Sean off to some Nob Hill debutante.”

Jennie was silent for a moment. “Kate, I’m never going to forgive myself for being responsible for you going through this. I honestly thought that things would work out differently.”

Kate’s smile was brittle. “I know you did, sis. I’ve forgiven you for writing to him. Maybe it’s all for the best.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, this way I know for sure that he doesn’t really love me. As Lyle said a few moments ago, if he did, he’d have followed me back here.”

“Maybe his pride got in the way. You were the one who left him, after all.”

“I know. But, Jennie, if you want something desperately, you don’t let pride stand in the way.” She reached across the counter to pick up two errant beans that had sloshed there. “No, I just have to face the fact that he’s not in love with me and probably never was.”

Jennie finished washing the spilled beans in the basin and scooped them back into the pan, holding it out for Kate to drop in the two she had retrieved. “So when are you going to stop being in love with him?”

Kate leaned back and tried to stretch the tension out of her neck. She could maintain a facade to the rest of the world, but it did no good to dissemble with Jennie. They knew each other too well. “I don’t know,” she said.

Jennie put the beans on the counter, walked behind Kate and put an arm around her shoulders. “Would it
help to get the marriage part over with?” she asked softly. “Shall I ask Carter to see about it?”

“Jennie, I don’t have any money to pay lawyers right now. I’m not even paying for Caroline’s and my share of the household expenses. You and Carter take care of everything.”

“Of course you and Caroline eat so much it’ll put us into the poorhouse.”

“Before long we’ll have new doctor’s bills to face, especially if you end up having to go to the hospital like I did. The lawyers can wait,” Kate ended firmly.

“Not if it will help your peace of mind to do something now. Besides, I don’t intend to have my baby in any hospital, and as soon as we catch up with the bills, there will be plenty of money with the rent from the silverheels.”

Kate ducked out from under her sister’s arm and slid off the stool. “My state of mind is fine. I don’t want you or Carter worrying about me. And no lawyers.”

Jennie looked at her doubtfully. “Whenever you’re ready, let us know.”

“I will.” She smiled. “I’d better get Caroline up from her nap. The silverheels promised to bring home a Christmas tree tonight.”

“Lord, and I promised to make popcorn,” Jennie cried, looking at the watch pinned to her dress.

“I’ll be back down shortly to help you with supper,” Kate said. “You’d better put your mind on Christmas instead of on trying to solve my problems.”

Jennie looked thoughtfully after her sister as she left the kitchen. Kate had been unusually vehement about not wanting to begin divorce proceedings. Though
she’d blamed her reluctance on money, Jennie had the feeling that it had a deeper root than that. She was still in love with Sean Flaherty. She’d admitted it.

Jennie sighed and picked up the pan of beans once again to set it on the stove. She could rely on Carter to find a legal remedy for her sister’s marriage, but she was darned if she knew what kind of remedy to apply to Kate’s heart.

The previous Christmas had been subdued at Sheridan House. It had been the first one since their parents’ deaths and Kate had still been recovering from her difficult childbirth. But this year Jennie had announced that the occasion would be celebrated with due honor. She and Kate had started making pies four days ahead of time and Carter had secured a large goose for the feast.

Kate received her Christmas present on Christmas Eve morning. One month after her first birthday, Caroline had taken her first step. When the silverheels had arrived home early from the mine, the feat was repeated, and by evening she was beginning to prefer upright to all fours, much to young Barnaby’s delight.

“I’ll take you for walks in the woods now, Caroline,” he told her. “And before long, we can drive out of town in the cart and play on Pritchard’s Hill.” Kate’s face had shadowed a little at this last comment, but in general the mood was too festive to stay gloomy.

The previous day the silverheels had brought home a huge blue spruce. Fortunately, John Sheridan had had a penchant for high ceilings, and the mammoth tree fit
in the parlor, though it took up nearly a quarter of the room.

“I’ve never seen such a big Christmas tree,” Jennie had laughed, half-protesting.

But Caroline was delighted with the sight of a tree sprouting inside the house, and Barnaby was thrilled at the prospect of decorating such a monster.

They supped on oyster stew, which had always been the Christmas Eve tradition in the Sheridan household. Neither Kate nor Jennie mentioned their parents, but their eyes met regularly over the table and each knew where their shared thoughts lay.

Then, leaving the dishes for later, they trooped into the parlor with bowls of cranberries and popcorn, a box of candles and a tray of the paper star ornaments that Jennie and Kate had made years ago. “We should have made some new ones,” Barnaby said, pulling out one that had two of its points crumpled.

“What’s wrong with these?” Kate demanded. “I’ll have you know Jennie and I labored for
weeks
on these stars.”

Barnaby, who was always so eager to please, looked immediately contrite. “They’re very nice, Kate,” he assured her.

She laughed and gave him a hug, then took the mangled star and crumpled it up. “I’m teasing, Barnaby. Some of these can be retired, I think. There’s not time tonight if we’re going to get the popcorn and berries strung, but tomorrow afternoon after Christmas dinner we can make some new ones.”

Dennis Kelly came over to kneel next to where Barnaby was sitting on the floor, holding the tray. “Ah,
lad,” he said, plucking one of the ornaments, “perhaps the Christmas elf will come during the night and change these poor tattered stars into real ones.”

“The Christmas elf?” Barnaby asked.

Which was enough prompting to launch Dennis into one of his Irish tales that soon had them all holding their sides with laughter. Caroline squealed right along with the rest of the group.

Kate picked her up from the floor and gave her a long hug. It wasn’t the Christmas she’d anticipated having, but it was a blessed Christmas after all. She wondered if the Flahertys were dining at one of their elegant dinner parties tonight. No doubt they would be horrified at canned oyster stew. And, she supposed, they’d have a
proper
Christmas tree, decorated by servants, of course, with stars made of real silver.

Caroline gave her equivalent of
mama
and patted her hands against her mother’s cheeks. Kate closed her eyes and smiled. This was all she needed-her daughter, her family, good friends, stories, paper stars and love.

“Are you all right, Kate?” Carter asked, leaning over her.

She opened her eyes and smiled at her brother-inlaw, who had half a string of popcorn draped around his perfectly tailored suit. “I’m just fine, Carter,” she beamed. “In fact, everything’s just fine.”

“There’s someone coming up the walk,” Smitty said, peering out the parlor window. He straightened up and turned to Kate with a sober expression on his normally jolly face. “I think it’s that husband of yours.”

Caroline continued cooing and patting her cheeks as Kate felt the blood drain from her limbs. “Are you sure?” she asked hoarsely.

Jennie walked over to the window and looked out. “Lordamercy. What’ll we do, sis? Do you want me to send him away?” She turned to her husband with a pleading expression. “Carter?”

“I’ll tell him to leave if you want, Kate,” Carter said. “You don’t have to see him.”

There was a sudden sober silence in the room and everyone stopped what they were doing. After a minute Dennis Kelly said, “Let’s throw the bastard out, Carter.” The other two miners nodded agreement.

Kate stood and held Caroline out to Jennie. “Take her, will you? I’ll deal with this myself.” She looked around the room. “I’m sorry to interrupt everyone’s celebration. Please go on as before.”

Jennie took the baby but said, “Don’t you want me to go out with you, sis?”

Kate shook her head. “I shouldn’t be long,” she said, her face grim. Then she went through the curtain to the hall.

For a moment more nobody spoke, then Barnaby said, “Is Sean going to come for Christmas?”

Jennie swayed back and forth, rocking Caroline. “I don’t know, Barnaby. I guess that will be up to Kate.”

“She didn’t look very happy,” the boy observed.