Authors: Father for Keeps
Sean’s eyes danced. “Pot roast and gravy. Just the thing for a birthday party.”
Barnaby put the basket on the table and looked up with a frown of confusion. “It’s not anyone’s birthday,” he said.
Sean merely smiled and handed Barnaby the bottle of wine he was carrying. “Give this to Kate to open in the kitchen,” he said. Then he walked over to kiss Caroline, who was already in place in her high chair, gnawing on a biscuit.
In a moment Kate’s head poked through the door. “Did you bring that wine, Sean?” she asked.
He nodded.
She looked puzzled. “There’s just the two of us to drink it, unless Barnaby wants to try a sip.”
“That’s all right,” he replied. “We’re celebrating:”
“Celebrating what?”
“I’ll tell you in a minute. Shall I get the wineglasses out of the hutch?”
She shrugged, then disappeared again into the kitchen.
Barnaby brought out the pot roast on a big platter adorned with carrots and onions, and Kate followed with a steaming bowl of mashed potatoes.
She looked at Sean, who was still standing next to Caroline. He’d taken one of the rolls and was shaping it into little figures. There was a miniature bread person and a four-legged something, perhaps a dog, already on her tray. Caroline explored them gently with the tip of her finger.
Kate smiled and asked, “Will you carve the roast?”
Sean looked up in surprise. “Me?”
“You appear to be the man of the household tonight. Unless you want Barnaby to do it.”
Barnaby eyed the platter doubtfully. “Sean better do it,” he said.
Sean moved around to the head of the table and picked up the carving knife, then hesitated.
“It’s already dead,” Kate said, amused. “It won’t get up and charge at you.”
Sean grinned. “I’ve never done this before. It’s odd—makes me feel kind of like a real father.”
“You’re Caroline’s father,” Barnaby observed, as if Sean might not be entirely sure.
Kate and Barnaby sat down and left Sean standing at his place at the head of the table to serve their plates and pass them down. He filled a tiny plate with shreds of meat, two carrots and a glob of potatoes for Caroline, who immediately mashed a fist into the potatoes, then stuffed it into her mouth.
“Where’s the wine?” Sean asked.
“Oh, I left it…” Kate started to stand up, but Sean waved her down and went to the kitchen himself to fetch it. He poured a glass for her and himself.
“So now do you want to explain the special occasion?” she asked.
Finally taking his seat. Sean raised his glass and said, “I was in the mood to celebrate, so I thought it would be a good time to catch up on the celebrating I missed—Caroline’s first birthday.”
Kate had begun to eat, but she set down her fork and uncertainly lifted her glass to clink it to his. “Here’s a toast to my family and my new life,” Sean said softly.
Their eyes held for a long moment until Barnaby asked, “Do you mean it’s like a party?”
Sean broke his gaze away from Kate and answered the boy. “Yes, like a party.”
“With presents?”
Sean smiled. “Maybe.”
“She’s weeks past her birthday,” Kate reminded him.
“Well, she doesn’t know that. This pot roast is incredible, sweetheart.”
Unlike earlier in the day, she made no objection to the endearment.
By the end of the dinner, Kate had accepted a third glass of wine and Barnaby had decided to go along thoroughly with Sean’s game. “Did you know you’re going to get a birthday present, Caroline?” he asked her eagerly.
“I suppose it’s time,” Sean said, getting up from his chair. He disappeared into the hall and came back with three wrapped packages. He put one on Caroline’s high chair tray, gave one to Barnaby and set one down in front of Kate.
“Is this one for me?” Barnaby asked, wide-eyed. “Are we pretending it’s my birthday, too?”
“Well, I wasn’t around for Caroline’s birthday, but then, I wasn’t around for yours, either. So I figured we’d just kind of have a general birthday for everyone.”
That was all the invitation the boy needed to tear into the brown wrapping and uncover a shiny harmonica. “Wow!” he exclaimed. “Freddie Colter can teach me how to play it.”
Sean smiled. “I’m glad you like it, sprout. Now maybe you can help Caroline open hers.”
Barnaby jumped up and ran around to Caroline’s chair. “Let’s see your present, Caroline,” he said, and put his own hands on the baby’s so that together they could tear off the paper, revealing a small fur muff in the shape of a bunny.
“Oh, my goodness! It’s adorable,” Kate exclaimed.
“It’s for her hands the next time we go on a drive in the mountains,” Sean said, obviously pleased at her reaction.
Barnaby didn’t seem too impressed, but Caroline was delighted with the soft fur and began pounding away at it.
“Careful, Barnaby, she’ll get food on it,” Kate admonished.
But Sean said, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll clean it afterward. You haven’t opened your present.”
She looked down at the square package, then up at Sean. “It’s definitely not my birthday. I shouldn’t-”
“Just open it,” Sean said.
Inside the wrapping was a polished wooden box, inlaid with other kinds of wood in the shape of flowers. She slid her fingers over the smooth top.
“Now open that,” Sean urged.
She pried back the lid to reveal a tiny singing bluebird. “It’s a music box,” she marveled.
Even Barnaby was impressed. He walked around the table to Kate’s side and reached out. “Could I try?” At her nod he opened and closed the lid several times, starting and stopping the tinny music.
“It’s a happiness bluebird, like the one that brought
me happiness long ago on Pritchard’s Hill,” Sean said to her in a low voice.
She blushed and looked away. “It’s lovely,” she said. “Thank you.”
Sean leaned back with a satisfied smile and watched the reaction to his gifts. The choices had been more than satisfactory, he decided. Kate looked pleased and, more important,
softened,
which was what he had been hoping for
When Barnaby started clearing the table, he rose and helped. The three did the washing up together while Caroline toddled around the kitchen, underfoot.
When they were finished, Sean said, “If you’d like to relax in the parlor, Kate, I’ll put her to bed. Does she need a bath?”
Kate shook her head, relaxed and sleepy from the wine and the long supper. “It’s late,” she said. “She just needs a change of diaper and gown. If you’d like to take her up, that would be very nice.”
Sean nodded and scooped her up. “C’mon, pumpkin, Papa’s going to put you down to sleep tonight. Would you like me to sing you a lullaby?”
Barnaby giggled, then said, “I can play her a lullaby on my harmonica, when I learn how.”
“You sure can, sprout. She’ll like that. I’ll be back down shortly,” he said to Kate.
“I’ll wait for you in the parlor,” she replied, which Sean decided was more encouragement than she’d given him all week.
He didn’t hurry, enjoying the moments alone with his daughter, but he was conscious of the fact that Kate was waiting for him. As soon as Caroline was settled
and he saw her eyelids drooping, he wasted no time in finding Kate in the parlor. He was pleased to see that she was alone.
“Barnaby?” he asked casually.
“He’s gone to bed.”
“Ah.” He walked across and put another couple of logs on the fire.
When he turned back to her, he asked, “So, you liked the presents?”
Her expression was unreadable. “The muff was darling. And practical. Her little hands get so cold.”
He glanced at his accustomed chair, but instead took a seat next to her on the settee. She shd away six inches.
“I hope she can use it. But what about the music box?” he persisted.
“It’s lovely, too, of course.”
Sean was puzzled. He could tell she’d been pleased with the box, but she was bothered by something. He’d wanted to make her happy, to show her how much he cared for her and Caroline, but instead she seemed almost more distant than she had earlier up at the mine. “So what’s wrong with you?” he asked with a frown.
“Nothing.”
“Kate,” he admonished gently. “Tell me.”
She leaned back against the cushions and let out a deep sigh. “Oh, Sean, it’s just that.you’ve still got it
wrong.
Caroline and I don’t need presents from you for us to accept you. That’s thinking the way your mother would think.”
Sean’s face tightened. “I just wanted to please you.”
Kate looked tired. “I know. You did please me. The gifts are very nice. Barnaby’s thrilled.”
“But you’re not.”
“Of course I am. I’ve never had anything quite like that. But what would make me happier would be for you to understand that gifts and luxuries are not what I want from you.”
Sean leaned forward, his voice low. “Then help me to understand, Kate. What exactly
do
you want from me?”
His face was only a few inches from hers. He could feel her gentle breath on his lips.
Kate took a deep, shaky breath. “I don’t want
things,
Sean. I want
love.”
K
ate knew from the minute the word left her lips that she’d once again lost her carefully fought battle. Because she
did
love him. The truth was she’d never stopped, not all through the months she thought never to see him again, not through all those nights of waiting while he caroused at the gaming houses in San Francisco. She’d tried to stop loving him. She’d
wanted
to stop. But she never had.
“Kate,” he said, reaching for her across the settee. “My love you already have.you’ve always had it.” His voice was raspy.
When she shook her head in denial, he pulled her into his arms. “I know, I haven’t always shown it,” he said. She could hear the tears filling his throat. “But, I love you, Kate. I love you for the way you stood up against the town in order to have my baby. I love you for raising her to be as bright and sweet and loving as her mother.”
She tried to pull back, out of his arms. He loosened his hold, but continued the onslaught of his words. “I don’t deserve your love in return, sweetheart. At every
turn, you’ve been strong and I’ve been weak. But I want the chance to prove to you that I’m worthy of you, of you and my daughter.”
It seemed almost ridiculous to her that Sean Flaherty, handsome, rich son of one of the West’s most influential families was saying that he wasn’t worthy of her love, but Kate could hear the sincerity in his tone, could feel his intensity in the shaking of his hands. She chose the most pressing issue. “Caroline needs a father, Sean,” she said. “Not someone who will be there while he’s enjoying himself and then head off for other amusements or in some other direction when he gets discouraged or bored.”
At that he released her entirely and put his hands up. “I know,” he said, his voice more under control. “That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to become ever since I left San Francisco. A father. And I’d like to be a husband to you, too, Kate.”
She averted her gaze. It was too debilitating to see his crystal blue eyes looking at her so intently. “You weren’t here Saturday night when I looked for you,” she said.
He muttered an oath, low and under his breath, then he seized her shoulders and turned her, forcing her to look at him. “I was
jealous,
Katie. I was drinking myself sick because every time I stopped drinking, all I could see was the picture of you here with Lyle, his hands on you, perhaps his lips on you, just as I wanted
mine
to be.”
Kate was breathing heavily. “The only thing that happened with Lyle Saturday night was my telling him that there could never be anything between us.”
The lamps were dim, leaving Sean’s face illuminated mainly by the firelight. In its reddish glow, his eyes gleamed with sudden brightness. “Truly, Katie?” He seemed to hold his breath as he waited for her answer.
“Truly, Sean. I told him he had my blessing to go find some of the many women in town he claims are wanting to throw themselves at his feet.” She smiled as she made the comment, and Sean smiled back broadly.
“He accused me of sending him packing because of you,” she added.
“And what did you say?”
She cocked her head a little and said in a teasing tone, “I told him I’d be plumb out of my mind to give my heart yet another time to a no-account, blarneyspouting Irishman who never seems to be around when I need him.”
Sean hesitated a moment, as if trying to be sure that she was in jest. Then he flashed a grin and said, “Out of your mind, eh? You know, I’ve heard that mountain air can turn people that way.”
“Well, I guess it’s turned me,” she said ruefully.
“So going back to last Saturday night. You sent Lyle off and then you say you
looked
for me?”
Kate nodded, her smile fading. “You weren’t there.”
“I wasn’t
where?”
She licked her lips. “In your, ah, bedroom.”
Sean slid backward on the settee and folded his arms. “Now tell me, Katie Marie, what would a decent
girl like you be doing coming to a man’s bedroom late on a Saturday night?”
Kate felt the heat of the fire in the flush on her cheeks. “Maybe she would be looking to have a conversation,” she said in a soft voice.
“A conversation? I don’t think so.” He continued to sit leaning against the arm of the settee without moving.
“Perhaps she would be wanting to say good-night.”
He nodded. “That would have been polite of her. But, no, I don’t think so. I think she wanted something more. What did she want, Katie? Tell me.”
His voice was low and smooth as velvet. Kate felt it curl all the way into her toes. Her answer was scarcely audible. “She wanted
him.”
Sean moved then, all at once, powerfully, like a tiger unleashed from a cage. He leaned over, lifted her off the couch and stood. “I’m so glad,” he whispered before he tucked his head down and began to kiss her neck.
Kate hardly felt the movement as he carried her upstairs, still kissing her, sending flickers of heat up and down her body. All at once they were in his room, on his bed, and he was continuing the kisses, marking a trail from her chin and across ivory skin to her breasts which he had bared to his gaze.
“There’s not a single day since you left San Francisco that I haven’t thought about doing this again,” he said, kissing first one nipple, then the other. “Sometimes I burned so hot, I thought whiskey was the only thing that could quench the flames.”
“I was afraid you were getting as bad as Charles Raleigh,” she whispered.
“Hell, I started outdrinking Charlie ten to one after you left. It’s a wonder I didn’t kill myself. At that point, I wouldn’t have cared.”
It was the first account Kate had heard of Sean’s activities after she had run away, and the description made her feel sick. “Perhaps I was wrong to leave so abruptly,” she admitted.
“No. You did exactly right. You did what you thought was in the best interests of your child and yourself. I was the weak one for not taking off after you that first day.”
He had continued making gentle circles on her breasts with his fingertips. She gasped as he touched a particularly sensitive spot. “I thought you didn’t want me,” she stammered.
“Most of the time, Katie Marie, you’re an intelligent woman, but every now and then you say something quite foolish.” He kissed her mouth, gently at first, then with deepening strokes of his tongue. “Not want you?” he asked, pulling back. “Saints preserve us, the woman is daft.”
She giggled at his teasing, light tone. The conversation had been too intense, and all at once she didn’t want to talk anymore. She wanted him to continue his exploration of her body with his fingers and lips and tongue. She reached to unfasten the rest of the buttons on her dress. “Is it warm in here?” she whispered.
Sean grinned looking down at her. “No. We just have too many clothes on.”
They undressed, heedless of how they looked rolling
awkwardly around to shed the last bit of clothing. Suddenly both felt the need to hurry. “Ah, my love,” she moaned with a sigh as he eased himself over her.
He smiled against her cheek. “I’m thinkin’ that perhaps
this
is what that lass was looking for in the gentleman’s room last Saturday,” he teased.
She moved underneath him, feeling his aroused manhood swell against her soft stomach. “You could be right,” she agreed.
“And a gentleman would always oblige a lady m this regard,” he said, putting his hand between them to adjust his position.
“Yes, he would. Ah, Sean,” she ended with an urgent little gasp.
He put his lips to her ear and murmured, “I’m thinking you might be ready for me now, Katie Marie. What are you thinking?”
The only answer she could manage was a nod. Then they started to move together, the moonlight dancing across their glistening bodies. After a few moments, Sean rolled over to let her move above him. Still connected, she straddled him and let the natural movements of their bodies fuel the rising passion. His hands on her hips guided her motion. Opening her eyes, she could see his were open, too, watching her. And the look of pure desire was enough to send her hurtling over the edge. He stiffened and joined her climax.
The spasms left her entire body weak. She collapsed on top of him and his arms came around her gently. “I love you,” he said, kissing her hair.
For a long moment, she couldn’t speak. When she twisted her face so that she could look at him, there
were tears on both her cheeks and his. “You never said that to me before,” she whispered.
He kissed a teardrop that was about to run off her chin. “I’ve never said that to anyone before. I don’t think I knew how to say it.”
She put her head down on his chest, pondering his words. “Not even to your family?”
“No.”
Her tears started in afresh. “My love, that’s so sad.”
He rocked her back and forth on top of him. “Perhaps. But it’s past. You’re my family now—you and Caroline. And I intend to say it to each one of you every day for the rest of my life.”
“Mmm.” She slipped off to one side of him and let him enfold her in his arms. “Will you stay here beside me tonight?” he whispered.
She hesitated. “Caroline…”
“She sleeps through the night these days, and I’ll go open the door to your room. If she cries, we’ll hear her.”
“Barnaby…”
Sean chuckled and squeezed her against his chest. “Sweetheart, it’s not scandalous for us to spend the night together. We’re
married,
in case you’ve forgotten.”
She gave a happy sigh and let her head drop on his shoulder. “I haven’t forgotten.”
“You would have had every right to forget it,” he said, more seriously. “I’ve not been the ideal husband.”
“There’s no such thing as an ideal life, Sean. I’ve
certainly learned that well enough in the past couple years.”
“Well, things are about to change. From this day on you’re going to see a husband so ideal you’ll think he was invented by a storyteller.”
Kate laughed and pulled away to look down at him. “I’d just as soon have a real man in my bed, if you don’t mind.”
“Katie Marie,” he said softly, pulling her back into his arms. “From now on that’s exactly what you’re going to have.”
By the time Carter and Jennie arrived home two days later, Kate had almost become convinced that this time Sean’s promises were for real. She knew that her sister could tell the difference in her attitude immediately.
“You look happy, sis,” Jennie said as Kate sat on Jennie’s bed watching her unpack her valise.
“Of course, I’m happy. The hospital says you’re normal and healthy and should have every expectation of a healthy, normal baby. It’s wonderful news.”
Jennie raised her eyebrows. “Oh. So this blush on your cheeks has nothing to do with Sean?”
Kate looked down and rearranged her skirts. “We made love, Jennie,” she admitted.
“I thought there was a glow,” Jennie teased.
Kate flopped back on the bed. “Oh, Jen, I don’t know. I’m probably the world’s biggest fool. He says he means it this time—he loves me. He wants to make a life together.”
“Well, perhaps he
does
mean it this time.” Jennie
moved her valise to the floor and sat on the bed next to her sister.
“Perhaps. But in the back of my mind I have to wonder how long he’ll be content to go up to the mines every day like a common laborer. He’s never had to work like this in his life.”
“I haven’t heard him complaining.”
“No, but it’s still something of a novelty. When he and Charles Raleigh were here prospecting that spring, he stayed for three months before he got bored and went back to his easy life at home.”
Jennie appeared to be considering her sister’s words. She knew that deep down she wanted things to work out between Kate and Sean, but she would be careful with her advice. Finally she said, “I’m not sure that Sean’s life at home has ever been such an easy one, Kate. But in any event, that was a different situation. He went home that spring because his prospecting was a bust—he and Charles didn’t find any silver. Now he’s got you and Caroline to consider.”
“He had me to consider back then, too.”
Jennie sighed. “Yes, he did. I don’t know, sis. I don’t blame you for being cautious, but I certainly don’t think you’re a fool for wanting to give it another try.”
Kate sat up and grinned mischievously at her sister. “My mind says I am, but the rest of me is voting to take him back.”
Jennie laughed and gave her sister a friendly shove. “My sister is shameless.”
Kate shoved her back. “Oh, am I now? Maybe you’d like to explain, darling sister, why you and Carter
stayed three nights in Virginia City for a one-day doctor visit?”
“We were seeing the sights.”
“Certainly you were. Did you even go out of the hotel?”
“Of course we did. Once,” she added with a giggle.
They sat on the edge of the bed looking at each other in the easy silence of years of affection. “Seriously, Jennie. I’m so happy the doctors said that everything’s going well.”
Jennie nodded and reached to squeeze her sister’s hands. “And, seriously, Kate, I’m happy you’ve decided to try to make things work with Sean.”
“After Mama and Papa died, I wondered if life would ever be joyous again,” Kate said. “But I must say, it looks as though things might be finally heading in the right direction for the Sheridan sisters.”
Jennie smiled at her sister. “I’d say it’s about time.”
They were saying it was the coldest February anyone could remember. The foreman up at the Wesley mine had ordered kerosene heaters placed inside the tunnels so the men could periodically warm their hands without having to come all the way out to the bonfire that they kept burning all day near the cook shack for the men on the mule shift.
In town, school was canceled as the first cases of flu began to strike. Memories were still vivid of the epidemic two years ago that had proved fatal to so many, including Francis and John Sheridan.
Barnaby and his friends took the school closing news with high spirits. Ignoring warnings to stay inside
at home, they spent the sunny, chill days exploring the hills, marveling at the rare beauty of hoarfrost on the fir trees.