AnchorandStorm (17 page)

Chapter Sixteen

Emily’s courses started two days later. Neither she nor Edgar could hide their disappointment and he knew she had the same thought in her mind as he did—should they call on Angus to try again?

Edgar could feel her sneaking glances at him, but he could not bring himself to face her. Despite the fact that he had initiated this entire plan, the thought of her lying with Angus again bothered him more than he cared to admit. He still could see Angus as he appeared that morning, standing in the doorway between the two bedrooms. It shouldn’t have bothered him so much. He knew he was taking a risk, that he could lose Emily to Angus completely, but he had to take that risk. He had expected the two of them to fall in love and he needed that to happen, to be sure that Emily would be protected after he was gone. And he had wanted Angus to be the father of his child, Edgar knew enough about him to know he could look far and wide and not find a better man.

But what of me?
, Edgar thought.
I’m not dead yet.
He knew they would have to try again—if Emily and Angus agreed to it. The only problem was, he could not tolerate lying in the adjoining room as he had done the first time and knowing what was going on between them. Or rather, not knowing. Could the reality be any worse than what he pictured?

Another plan took shape in his mind, one that he was sure the two of them would object to. But if he presented his reasons, perhaps they would take pity on him and agree to it. Perhaps they would even enjoy it.

Emily certainly should.

Emily sat on the footstool at Edgar’s feet with her head resting on his knee, as she often did in the evenings, and stared into the fireplace. The nights had grown much colder, the days gloomier now that autumn was drawing to a close. It seemed to match their mood perfectly.

Edgar’s right hand idly caressed her head. He had not said anything about the fact that she hadn’t conceived. She wondered if he was going to give up the idea, some small part of her hoped he would. Yet on the other hand, she longed to lie with Angus again. She hated herself for feeling that way, but there was naught she could do about it.

As if he read her thoughts, Edgar said, “Shall we try again?”

Emily stared at him, shocked. But she couldn’t deny that a shiver of longing ran through her body as she remembered her night with Angus. His scent, his touch, his strength. And the way he filled her, a sense of fullness so complete she didn’t know where his body ended and hers began.

Then she remembered her reaction to him the last time they made love that night. No, it would be too easy to lose her heart, as well as her body, to him. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t risk betraying Edgar that way. “No, I can’t do that again. I’m sorry.”

“You have my permission, my blessing, Emily.” When she shook her head, he continued, “You know what happens if we don’t have a son. And although that is not the primary reason I want us to have one, it is a consideration.”

If she needed any excuse to make love with Angus again, that was it. “I don’t know that he will agree to it.”

“Oh I think he will.” Edgar squeezed her hand tighter. “Only this time, there is one condition.”

“What is that?”

When Edgar told her what he had in mind, she knew all hope was lost. Even though his proposal shocked her and thrilled her at the same time, she had no doubt that a man like Angus would be appalled. “He will never agree to
that
.”

“Would you be agreeable to it?”

Emily felt a shudder run through her body. She was certain what he was suggesting was a sin, it had to be. The church would surely never allow anything so wicked…nor so exciting. But if Angus consented, she would gladly burn in hell for eternity. It was the only way she knew to have both the men she loved.

“Aye,” she whispered, “I would.”

“Good day, milord, milady,” Angus said as he stood before Em and Lord Callander. He had been somewhat surprised when he received the summons to see them at the mansion. Were they going to ask for his “services” again? He wouldn’t do it. He couldn’t. His love for Em now ran so deep that he couldn’t bear to lie with her again and walk away, as he had done before.

He was also glad for the summons because he had wanted to talk to Callander. He planned to ask the man to sell his indenture,
now
, before he let slip his feelings about Em and found himself back in the jail, despite Callander’s assurances.

But when he saw her again, his resolve began to falter. She sat huddled in the chair before the fire, wrapped up in a shawl as if she couldn’t get warm. Her head was turned away from him and her husband, both. Angus could see she was trembling and her hands clutched and twisted her skirt.
Not a good sign
, he thought.

“Thank you for coming, Angus,” Lord Callander said. “Have a seat, won’t you?”

“No, thank ye, sir, I’d rather stand.”

“As you wish.” Now Callander himself turned his face away from Angus. “I imagine you can guess the reason I’ve called you here.” When Angus didn’t answer, he cleared his throat and continued, “It seems we have need of your services again.”

Angus almost laughed aloud at hearing Callander use the exact words he had thought himself.

But before he could respond, Callander began to speak again. “This time, however, I must change the arrangement somewhat.”

“Aye?” Angus said, his curiosity piqued and waited for the man to continue.

Instead of presenting this change in “the arrangement”, Callander said, “Knowing that you were making love to my wife in the next room was more, uhm, upsetting than I had anticipated.”

“I can well imagine,” Angus replied, trying not to sound too smug. He wondered why the man had not realized from the start that he would feel that way.

Em had not moved nor shown any response to this strange conversation.

Callander spoke again, his voice so soft Angus could hardly hear him. “If I cannot father a child, I would at least like to be present at its creation.”

Angus froze, almost in a state of shock. Surely the man could not mean what Angus thought he meant. “I beg yer pardon, sir?”

Callander cleared his throat again and took a deep breath. “I should like to be present when you make love to Emily again.”

“Ye mean, in the room?” Angus tried to keep from laughing at the very idea.

“No,” Lord Callander said, with hesitation, “in the bed.”

Angus could hold back no longer. “
What?
Have ye lost yer mind?”

“I dare say it seems that way. But think about it, Angus, I-I can…help.”

Images, unbidden, clouded Angus’ mind. He and Callander, one on each side of Em, stroking her, licking her, driving her wild. Then Angus mounting her while Callander caressed her breasts, Em’s hand squeezing her husband’s cock.

His own cock twitched and swelled in his breeks. But it was wrong…wasn’t it?

“
Ye’re a bluidy pervert!
” Speaking to Em, Angus asked, “Do you agree to this?” When she did not respond, he crossed the room and bent over her, his arms braced on each arm of her chair. “Look at me, Em. Answer me!”

Slowly, she turned her face up to his. He had expected her to be crying, embarrassed by such a bizarre proposal. Instead, she met his gaze steadily and said, “Aye.”

Angus sank to his knees. “Why?” he asked, shaking his head. “Why would ye do such a thing?”

“I want to give Edgar a child.”

“
Bah.
” Angus rose to his feet and moved away from her for fear he would grab her and try to shake some sense into her. “That’s it. I’m finished wi’ the lot o’ ye.”

Em had turned her face away again, leaning against the side headrest of the wingback chair. Lord Callander rubbed his temples as if suffering from a severe headache.
Perhaps he is
, Angus thought,
else why would he make such a ridiculous suggestion?

“Milord, I am askin’ ye to sell my indenture.”

At that, Em’s head whipped around to face him. “
What?
”

“They need workers in the colonies, or in Australia,” Angus continued, not looking at her, for fear he would change his mind.

She rose from her chair and almost ran to stand before him. “Angus, why?”

“
Why?
Why do ye think?”

“I thought…I thought ye cared for me, perhaps just a little. Was I wrong?”

“No, ye weren’t wrong. Of course I care for ye, I do.” He grabbed her by the shoulders. “That’s why I have to leave, don’t ye see?”

“No, I don’t see. Why?’

“Because…because…,” Angus hesitated, then could hold back no longer. “
Tha gaol agam orst!
” he shouted. Then, more softly, dropping his hands to his sides again, “
Tha gaol agam orst.
”

Em gasped and glanced quickly at her husband. Angus followed her gaze and was surprised to see the man looking straight ahead of him, smiling. “It’s all right, Angus, you may say it in English. She has said it to me many times.”

“Aye? Then I will.” Angus faced Em, bending slightly to meet her eyes. “I love you. Ye’ve no idea how long I’ve loved ye.”

“But ye’ve only known me a few months.”

“I fell in love with ye before I met ye, from the stories yer da told me about ye.”

“Oh Angus, I didna ken.”

“Aye, well then, now ye do.”

“If ye love me, then ye’ll help us. Can ye no’ understand how he feels?”

“No, I canna understand how he feels, for if ye were mine, I’d no’ share ye wi’ another man. And especially no’ in the same bed.” Angus turned back to Lord Callander. “I trust I may take my clothes and personal belongings wi’ me when I go?”

“You may take anything you like,” Callander said.

“Including yer wife?” Angus could not resist the jab.

“No,” the man answered in a soft, but firm, voice, “you may not take my wife.”

Angus left without looking back at either of them.

Chapter Seventeen

Emily and Edgar sat in silence until night fell. Essie brought their meal up to them but neither of them ate a bite. Once again, Emily sat on a footstool next to Edgar’s chair, her head resting on his knee.

“What are we going to do?” she asked, her voice slightly hoarse from not speaking for so long.

Edgar did not answer for such a long time, Emily thought he had not heard her. Just as she was about to speak again, Edgar said, “Go to him.”

“Edgar, I—” she began to protest.

“Listen to me, Emily. I told you that Angus was my choice for our surrogate. Well, there is a reason for that. I have to be assured you will have someone to look after you when I’m gone—”

“No, don’t—”

He took both her hands in his. “Listen, my love. I pray God we have many more years together, but you know we cannot count on that. I knew that you and Angus belonged together. I knew that he would love you as I do.”

“You planned this whole thing?”

“Not at first, no. But when I saw how the sparks flew between the two of you, I knew it was only a matter of time. Then, when I found out the possible consequences of fathering a child, I hoped you would pick him. I cannot think of any other man whose child I would be proud to give my name. He will take care of you and your children.”

“You speak of pride. He is a proud man too, as you know. This arrangement you desire has hurt his pride.”

“If he loves you as I know he does, he will relent.” When she remained silent, he continued, “Emily, for all that this was my suggestion from the start, I cannot bear the thought of spending another night alone while you lie with him. But for this one night, I will bear it.

“Go to him. Do anything you need do to make him stay.”

She found him sitting on the side of his bed in the little room over the stable, his head in his hands. He looked up at her and she noticed his eyes looked reddened, as if he had been crying. But she got only a quick glance for, as soon as he saw her, he stood and turned his back on her. He braced his arms against the window frame, facing out into the night. “What do ye want?”

“You.”

“
Huh
,” he said, but did not turn around.

She watched the play of muscles in his back. How much would that stiff back be willing to bend for her, she wondered. She came up behind him and placed her hands on his strong, broad shoulders.

He spun away from her. “
Don’t!
Dinna touch me.”

She held her ground but in the small confines of the room, she was still very close to him. It surprised her that he didn’t just leave the room altogether if he was so determined to get away from her and that raised her hopes slightly. “Look at me, Angus.”

“No, I willna.
Piseag!
”

Emily winced. She had heard that word before but never thought she’d be called a “cunt”. Especially not by a man who professed to love her. “Ye may call me what ye will, Angus. I’ll no’ leave until ye hear me out.”

“Did he send ye here?”

“Aye, he did. I would no’ have come otherwise.”

“And what are ye supposed to do to get me to stay? Throw yerself at me?”

“If ’tis what I need do, aye.”

“What makes ye think I want ye now?”

“Ye wanted me a wee bit over a month ago. Has Edgar’s new condition to our lying together dampened yer ardor?”

“How do you know I wanted ye then, eh? How do ye know I wasna just doing it for what he offered me?”

“What did he offer you?”

“He didna tell ye?” he asked, turning around to face her. When Emily shook her head, he continued, “On the day that
our
son turned five, I was to be a free man, with money enough to go anywhere I wanted.”

That stunned her for a moment. Why would he be willing to give that up? “Are ye so uncertain of yer prowess in bed, Angus, that ye would forego the chance to be free, rather than perform in front of a man a dozen years yer senior and wi’ shriveled legs?”

“You yerself told me I had no worries there.”

She knew she was baiting him and it was time to spring the trap. “Ah, then ye were lyin’ when ye said ye loved me, is that it?”

He bent toward her, his face close to hers, his voice low and not a little frightening. “No, ye wee baggage, I wasna lyin’ but I’m starting to rethink my feelings now. But you, why are you willin’ to make a
striopach
of yerself for that man?”

Emily gasped. She could not believe he saw it that way. “A whore sells her body to any man who has the price. I did not sell myself to you.”

“A whore sells her body for what she can get from a man. You can get a bairn from me, how does that make you any different?” he yelled at her.

She yelled back, “Because a whore does not usually love the man she fucks!”
There!
She would show him she knew some nasty words herself.

For a moment, she thought it was that word that made him draw back and stare at her. But then he pointed his finger at her and began to shake his head back and forth. When he spoke, he sounded even angrier than before. “No, ah, no. Don’t be comin’ to me now, sayin’ ye love me when we both know ’tis no’ true. Ye think that will soften me up, since I’ve told ye how I love you. No, it willna work. Emily, I saw how ye were with him when he was ill, so save yer breath. Ye love yer husband, ye made that perfectly clear from the start.”

“I love both of you. God help me, but I do.” Even to her own ears it sounded like a desperate attempt to convince him. She dropped down on the side of his bed, afraid now that all hope was lost.

“Ye cannae love both of us.”

“Why not, Angus? Tell me why I can’t love two men the same.”

He stared at her, his mouth working, as if searching for a reason. Finally, he said, “Ye just can’t, that’s all.” He turned his back to her but still did not leave the room. She took that as a good sign.

Softly, she asked him, “If I didna love ye, why would I have come here, to try to make ye stay? If I didna love ye, why wouldn’t I tell Edgar we’d have to find another man?”

“Find one,” he said, still not turning around.

Emily sighed. She knew it was no use to argue with him anymore.
Damn his bluidy pride!
She rose and walked slowly to the door. “All right, if that’s the way ye want it.” She was just reaching for the door handle when she felt herself lifted off her feet.

Without a word, Angus turned and threw her down on his small cot. Then his mouth was on hers, forcing her lips open, his tongue dueling with hers. Emily twined her fingers in his hair and kissed him back with all the passion she had felt for him, all these months, afraid that it would be the last time she could touch him, kiss him, embrace him.

He moved lower, kissing and biting at her neck, sending shivers all through her body. She heard a ripping sound as he tore the material of her bodice. He reached inside her stays and lifted her breast. His touch and the cool air in the room hardened her nipple into a stiff peak. He rubbed his finger over it, more gently than she would have thought him capable in his present state, then took it in his mouth and suckled. The incredible sensation went through Emily’s body, straight to her womb and the honey poured from her.

“Oh my God, Angus.”

His only response was a moan that vibrated her nipple. She arched upward to press it farther into his mouth, but he pulled back. When the cold air hit her moist nub, it hardened even more until it was almost painful. She tried to press herself against him for warmth, but he had shifted to her other side.

He released her other breast, but her stays did not seem to allow him the room he wanted. He growled and reached under the pillow beneath her head and brought out an object she couldn’t see.

Suddenly, she felt cold metal between her breasts.

“
Ah, no
,” she cried, afraid that, in his anger, he intended to stab her.

Instead, she heard the soft whisper of cloth being cut as he slid the blade between the boning of her corset, then the clatter of the knife hitting the floor. He peeled back the stiff material and turned his attention to her other nipple—licking, sucking, caressing it and driving her wild.

His erection pressed against her leg. She reached down and undid the buttons on his breeches, then slipped her hand inside and stroked him.

He pulled back as if her hand had burned him. With a growl—that sensual sound she remembered from the first time they made love—he grasped the hem of her skirts and pushed them up, bunching them around her waist. He positioned himself between her legs, his hard flesh nudging at her portal.

She was more than ready for him. She opened her legs wider and wrapped them around his back.

He pushed into her so forcefully that she slid up farther on the bed. His cock filled her, stretched her, touched the mouth of her womb. “
Angus
,” she sighed.

“Damn you!” he answered.

She didn’t know what she expected him to say, but it wasn’t that. Even so, his words could not stop the thrill of her approaching crisis.

“Damn you,” he cried with each thrust. “Damn you, damn you,
damn you
,” he cried, in time with each stroke of his shaft.

Every muscle in her body tensed, readying her for the climax. Each stroke of his cock sent her higher and higher, until it felt as if lightning flashed from her head to her toes. One last deep thrust sent her over the edge. “
Angus!
”

He gave one last shove and froze, his arms braced on each side of her. She felt his seed spurting out and prayed silently,
Let it take root
.

“I love you,” he shouted, then collapsed on top of her.

She hugged him tightly and wound her fingers in his hair, loosening the ribbon that held his curls back in a queue. “I love you too,” she whispered into his ear.

Without withdrawing from her, he moved to lie next to her. She felt him softening and slipping out of her before they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Angus awoke to find Emily watching him in the gray light of dawn. “What is it?”

“I was just wondering,” she said, “why it is ye sleep with a knife under yer pillow.”

“You of all people need to ask me that?”

“Ye’re safe here. Ye must know that.”

“We’re not safe anywhere, you and I, not while Wee Geordie is on the throne.”

As she pondered this, Angus began to drift back to sleep. But soon he felt her scooting to the end of the bed and away from him.

“Where are ye goin’?”

“Back to the house.” She stood up and tried to smooth the wrinkles out of her skirt. Her dress was still undone above the waist and he began to grow hard again just looking at her beautiful breasts.

He didn’t have long to look. She slid the remnants of her corset from behind her back and threw them on the bed next to him. “Something to remember me by,” she said. Then she pulled her torn bodice up, covering herself as best she could.

He turned and sat on the side of the bed. “Come with me.”

She shook her head. “Don’t force me to choose between the two of ye, Angus. Ye’ll lose. I love you, I truly do, but he had my heart first.”

She hesitated a moment as if waiting for him to say something. He didn’t.

She turned and left the room, leaving him sitting, staring after her.

He picked up the stays she had left behind and pressed them to his nose. The faint fragrance of honeysuckle and Em lingered on the material.

“I can’t do it,” he said aloud to the empty room.

Emily found Edgar in his upstairs sitting room. She saw him take in her bedraggled appearance. “Are you all right?” he asked.

“Aye.”