And Then You Fall (Crested Butte Series) (11 page)

Chapter 9

It had been three weeks since Ben left Liv’s house. They had now been apart longer than they had been together. In his first few days home he thought about calling her or texting her at least once an hour. She always answered when he texted. But never sent one on her own, one that wasn’t in response to something he’d said. He called and she’d answer. And they’d talk. Sometimes when he called he got her voicemail. She’d call him back. But she never called him otherwise.

He kept her scarf tucked under his pillow, and now it smelled more of him than it did of her. But none of it, or any passage of time, changed how he felt. He still missed her as much as he had the first day he’d been home.

The first week he’d kept busy with his boys. His mornings became about making breakfast, getting them off to school, and coming home to try to get some work done in the hours until he had to pick them up. At night they worked on homework, ate dinner and wrestled with bedtimes.

A week later, when it came time to take them to their mom’s, he wanted nothing more than to pack a bag and head over the mountain back to Liv’s. But he didn’t.

The next few days he spent thinking very hard about whether his feelings for her were as strong as he believed them to be. Was it because she held herself back from him, did that only make him want her more? Was she just a conquest he couldn’t give up on until he won?

Or was his need for her just loneliness? He’d been so lonely after he’d gotten divorced that often he sought the comfort of any warm, feminine body he could find. He hated to think that Liv was noth
ing more than someone to soothe the ache of loneliness. He really didn’t think she was, he was sure it was more than that. But if she wasn’t feeling what he was feeling, how hard could he push? Maybe he needed to back off and give himself as much time to think as he was giving her.

In six weeks, he and the band would leave on tour. Next week all hell would break loose when the dates were announced. He had so much work to do between now and then. Even if he wanted to go and see her, he wouldn’t be able to. She could come to him, but he knew she wouldn’t.

The band was scheduled to play the Paramount in Denver at the beginning of June, and she’d be in Europe with Renie by then. He couldn’t imagine not seeing her before she left, just couldn’t fathom it, but he wasn’t sure it was as important to her as it was to him.

He wished she’d give him something, just a sign that it was, but she didn’t. And if she did, he wasn’t seeing it, or hearing it, or feeling it.

One of the other guys in the band had started handling their social media. The record company told them it should be less about Ben and more about CB Rice, so he’d stopped posting anything at all. He wondered if she had noticed. He hadn’t asked her.

***

When Liv saw the black bear walking across the meadow below her back deck the day after Ben left, she took it as a sign. Dottie told her that if a bear crossed her path it meant she should
hibernate.
Symbolically it meant you should be introspective, bask in silence and solitude, focusing on rebirth and self-understanding.

For the last three weeks she felt as though she had done nothing but hibernate. She’d been avoiding everyone. Even Paige had stopped dropping by. She still called and texted, but Liv didn’t always respond. Mark came out to see if she needed anything and begged her to, please, let them know if she did.

“Liv, I just realized there’s no music playing. I don’t think I’ve ever been here when you are, that there isn’t music playing,” said Mark.

“Silence is my music these days,” she’d answered.

When Liv was about to reach the one month mark
A
B
“after Ben,” Paige showed up at the barn.

She walked in, took Liv by the shoulders and said, “Enough! You either need to go and see him, or let him come here, or figure something else out. But this has to stop. You’re behaving as though you’re in mourning, and Liv—he isn’t dead. Look at yourself. This isn’t you. You need to snap out of it.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, this
is
me. I am a very solitary person Paige, I always have been. I don’t know how to handle this thing with Ben. It’s the type of thing I don’t have any experience with.”

“Look at me and listen. Go and see him. Call him, right now, and go and see him.”

“I . . . can’t . . .”

“Why in the world not? There isn’t a single thing stopping you other your own stubbornness. He wants you to, you know he does.”

Liv got up and walked to the front of the barn, not answering.

“Liv, are you listening to me?”

“Have you talked to him?”

“No, I haven’t. It isn’t my place to. But I don’t need to, I know you well enough to know exactly what’s going on.”

“And what is that Paige, what do you think is going on?”

“You’re living in limbo. You’re waiting for Renie to come home so the two of you can leave for Europe. In the meantime, you’re waking up and you’re going to sleep without much else in between. Remember when we came back from Las Vegas and I told you I thought you kept yourself on the outskirts of life?”

Liv nodded.

“Well it’s gotten
worse,
if that was even possible. Call him Liv. I’m going to sit right here until you do. Call him and tell him you want to come and see him.”

“The horses.”

“The horses will be just fine. Mark will come out and take care of the damn horses. Call him Liv. Call him right now.”

“What if-—”

“Don’t. No ‘what ifs.’ Just call him.”

“Okay. I’ll call him.”

“Now. I’m not leaving until you do.”

Liv took her cell phone out
of her back pocket and called.

***

Ben was in the middle of jotting lyrics down and absentmindedly hit the talk button without looking to see who it was.

“Yeah,” he answered.

“Ben?”

“Liv? Is that you? Sorry, I was in the middle of something. I didn’t mean to be so abrupt.”

“Oh, do you need to get back to it?”

“No, no, of course I don’t. I’m so glad you called. How are you? What’s up?”

“I was wondering . . .” Ben could hear another voice in the background but couldn’t make out the words.

“I was thinking about . . .” Oh my God, she was killing him. What was she trying to say. “Liv? What is it?”

“I was wondering if you’d like some company.”

Ben didn’t know what to say. He was in shock. Every day for the first two weeks he was back he asked her to come and visit him. Each time he did, he knew her answer would be no, and it was. He’d stopped asking. And never once, did she invite him to come back and see her.

“I would like some company, very much, as long as you were the company.”

“I wouldn’t be intruding?”

“My door is always open to you Liv, you are welcome here anytime.”

“Your boys?”

“They’re with their mom this week, but they would love to meet you.”

“You’re sure about this?”

“Never more sure of anything. When?”

“I hadn’t gotten that far.”

He laughed. “Sounds like Paige is there.”

“What was your first clue?” She laughed too.

“Today?”

“Maybe tomorrow.”

“It’s a long drive, Liv, especially by yourself. Say the word and I could be there in less than hour by plane.”

“I don’t know.”

“I wouldn’t keep you prisoner here Liv. I’d fly you back when you wanted to leave. I promise.”

“It isn’t that.”

“Then what is it?”

Liv walked out of the barn, where Paige couldn’t hear what she was going to say. “I’m scared,” she whispered.

“I know baby. I’m a little scared too.” He wasn’t about to let her change her mind though. “Four o’clock. Ask Paige if she can give you a ride up to the airport.”

“When?”

“Today. And if she can’t, I’ll rent a car and come down and pick you up.”

“No, not today. Tomorrow.”

“Liv, I’m flying over this afternoon. If you don’t want to leave today, I’ll just come and help you pack.”

Ben hung up and called his mom. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“Anytime, you know that.”

“Okay, I’ll be right over.”

***

Ben’s parents, Bud and Ginny Rice, owned the Flying R Ranch on the south side of Mt. Crested Butte near East River Valley. It had been in their family since 1853. He and his brothers, one older and one younger, grew up on the ranch and it remained their home. When Ben’s oldest brother, Matt, turned twenty-five, their father gave him a fifty-acre parcel where Matt built his house. When Ben and his younger brother, Will, turned twenty-five, their father gave them each fifty acres. The parcels were situated in such a way that when their parents passed away, the ranch would be split into three large parcels, four hundred acres each. The boys could then choose to keep it one working ranch or divide it, and work each parcel on their own.

If you looked at an aerial view of the ranch, each of the three boys’ houses sat at the furthest points from the center of the ranch, where their parents’ house and the ranch’s outbuildings were located.

Ben and his brothers were very close, they had decided long ago that the ranch would never be divided, they would always run it as a single entity.

The drive over only took a few minutes. Both his mom and dad were out front waiting for him when he drove up. Ben joined them on the porch, and told them about Liv.

“And what about the boys?”

“I don’t have the boys this week, but if she stays through the weekend, I think they’ll be fine with it.”

His father raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything.

“Dad, the boys know about her.”

“What did you tell them?”

“When they came back from the Grand Canyon, I told them that I had been on vacation too while they were gone. I told them I went to visit someone who was very important to me, and I told them about her.”

“Do you think maybe you jumped the gun a little bit?”

“Look, I know it sounds crazy, but I really care about this woman. There’s something about her . . . I honestly believe fate has put us together for a reason. I think I love her Dad. I needed to tell them about her.”

Ben looked at his mother who hadn’t said a word. “You’re awful quiet over there.”

“Hmm? I’m just thinking.”

“What about?”

“That the apple never falls as far from the tree as we think, does it Bud?”

“What are you talking about Mom?”

“Do you want to tell him or should I?” she asked her husband.

“You’ll tell it better than I would.”

“When we went on our very first date, your father told me that he knew we were meant to be together, that it was fate. It took me the better part of a year to believe him, but now that I look back to those days, he was right. He’s my soulmate and no other man would’ve been right for me.”

That’s how he felt about Liv. He was sure he loved Christine, but he’d never felt as strongly about her as he did about Liv. He was meant to be with her, he knew that. Now he just had to convince her of it.

***

Paige delivered Liv to the airport in Centennial promptly at four in the afternoon. Ben was waiting, with his dad, in the small terminal. When she walked in the double-doors, he was struck again by how beautiful she was, and how she seemed to be completely unaware of it. In all the time they’d spent together, Liv never primped or preened. She was comfortable in her own skin, confident, and he found it irresistibly sexy.

Ben walked forward, slowly, savoring the sight of her, drinking her in. When she stepped into his arms, her body melding against his, he remembered how perfectly they fit together. Their bodies and their souls were meant to be together, he knew they were.

He closed his eyes and held her close. There was no awkwardness between them. It felt more like coming home, to the place they were supposed to be. Ben’s lips brushed across hers. He longed to kiss her deeply, ravish her, but they’d have plenty of time for that later.

“I missed this,” she said.

“I know, I’ve felt . . . empty, not being able to hold you in my arms.” Ben’s hand came to her cheek, his fingers stroking it. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

They walked to where his dad was waiting. “Dad, this is Liv.” She really needed no more introduction than that. “And Liv, this is my father, Bud Rice.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Liv,” his father said. “My son speaks very highly of you.

Liv’s cheeks turned pink as she shook his father’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

Ben remembered then that Liv’s father had been a military man. Of course she would address his father as “sir.” He had been raised to treat his elders with the same level of respect. His chest felt as though it would burst with pride as he watched his father make conversation with her. It struck him then, and he was surprised it hadn’t before, Liv reminded him of his mother. Beautiful, gracious, and refined, yet so down-to-earth that she immediately made those around her feel more comfortable. He was in awe of her.