Angel (27 page)

'Is it okay if I stay tonight?' Cal asked. 'But I'll
have to be up early for training.'

'Of course,' she replied, thinking,
Yes! Stay!
She
was hoping that this would lead to their talking
about what had happened between them, but Cal
clearly had other ideas, as he began kissing her
again and unbuttoned her dress. It seemed that Cal
was a four-times-a-day kind of guy. And luckily, as
Angel was discovering as Cal caressed her, she was
a four-times-a-day kind of girl . . .

'What time is it?' Angel asked sleepily, seeing Cal
getting dressed.

'It's half five, I've got training. What are you up
to today?'

'I've got a shoot – it's my "comeback" one. You
know – straight out of rehab, can I still cut it as a
model and all that bollocks.'

'Do you want to come over to mine when you've
finished and I'll cook dinner? At least I have food in
my kitchen.'

'Ah, but will it be as good as that pizza?' Angel
asked cheekily.

'So much better,' Cal replied sexily, leaning over
the bed and kissing Angel. Then he was gone and
Angel was wide awake.

Fucking hell, I've just spent the night with Cal. Am I
dreaming?

Her shoot wasn't until two, but there was no way
she could go back to sleep. Instead she took a quick
shower and drove to the stables. But even after a
two-hour ride her mind was still in turmoil, and
when she saw Manda coming to untack Star, Angel
could barely string a sentence together. She felt
totally wired. She was desperate to tell Gemma, but
something stopped her. She knew Gemma would
be protective of her and would ask awkward
questions – the ones Angel wanted to ask Cal but
couldn't – like was he planning on leaving Simone?
Did he want a relationship with Angel? Or was it
just about sex?

At the shoot, Angel was dressed in white or silver
for every single picture – the tabloid planned to run
the headline THE RIGHT WHITE STUFF! So she was
in a white tutu, naked save for a white cashmere
wrap, and, with a cheeky take on her recent spell in
the clinic, dressed as a saucy nurse in a tight white
uniform, unbuttoned to the waist. Angel tried her
best to appear normal, but she was restless and
every time there was a break for a costume change
or a make-up touch-up she kept checking her
phone to see if Cal had texted her.

'What's up?' Gemma demanded.

'Nothing,' Angel lied. 'I guess I'm just nervous
about the shoot going well. I don't want to fuck
anything up. Carrie really laid it on the line after I
came out of the clinic and said I wouldn't get work
if I ever used drugs again.'

Gemma snorted. 'Like she's one to talk. I'm sure
she's a bloody cocaine queen herself. Personally, I
think you'd be better off without her – all she cares
about is making money out of you.'

'Well, I feel I need her at the moment.' The
thought of being washed-up before she was even
twenty was not a good one. A few weeks before
everything had gone so spectacularly wrong in her
life, Carrie had hinted that someone in the States
was interested in her, someone big, and Angel was
anxious to find out more.

'Told you that you needn't have worried – you're
doing great,' Gemma told Angel towards the end of
the shoot as she retouched her make-up.

'Well, that was one good thing about being in the
clinic. I lost weight because I couldn't drink any
wine.'

Angel surveyed herself in the mirror. For the
next set of pictures she was wearing a diamante
G-string – she just hoped that the pictures didn't
take too long as it wasn't the most comfortable
garment in the world – and nothing else except a
strategically placed arm. She still hadn't heard from
Cal and was desperate for the shoot to end so she
could text him to find out if he still wanted to see
her that night.
Please let him text me
, she prayed.
Please.

Bruce, the photographer, wasn't someone Angel
had worked with before and he wasn't someone she
warmed to. So far he seemed to be going out of his
way to make the shoot as hard work as possible –
ordering Angel to pose in positions that were
supremely uncomfortable and then shooting endless
rolls of film when Angel was sure he had the
picture he needed after the first take. The poses in
the diamante G-string were no exception: he had
her lying on the white sofa with one hand hooked
under the diamante strap and the other arm across
her breasts, but he kept trying to get her to pose
topless and she knew perfectly well that this hadn't
been the deal her agent had set up with the
magazine, so she kept resisting. He was obviously
used to getting his own way with his models and his
tone grew more and more bullying. Finally, Angel
snapped.

'Will you fucking stop trying to get me to show
my tits, because I'm not going to. End of.'

Bruce just glared at her and got his revenge by
deliberately taking his time, so by the time they
finished, it was eight o'clock. Immediately, Angel
grabbed her robe and dashed to the dressing room
to get her phone. There was a message from Cal.

Still on for tonight? See you at mine at 8 x

Anxious that Gemma didn't see her, she nipped
to the loo and texted him back saying she would be
there at nine.

'Fancy going for a drink?' Gemma asked her as
Angel walked back into the dressing room.

'I think I'm just going to go home and crash –
I'm knackered.' Angel had never felt less tired in
her life. She was so keen to see Cal she could
hardly bear to spend another minute talking to
anyone, not even Gemma, but she forced herself to
wait while her friend packed up all her make-up.
Angel had been hoping to go home and get ready
but there was no time, so she had to settle for
wearing the outfit she'd put on that morning – the
flirty little white pleated skirt, the sweet pink and
white polka dot shirt and the pink peep-toe suede
shoes.

'Thanks for today.' Angel hugged Gemma goodbye.
'I'll call you tomorrow.' She jumped into the
waiting taxi. On the way to Cal's, she checked out
her appearance. Fortunately, Gemma was such a
fantastic make-up artist that although Angel was
wearing far more make-up than she would usually,
it still looked natural. She was willing the taxi driver
to go faster, but he seemed to be taking the most
indirect route possible. Angel found herself getting
more and more wound up and was just on the point
of ordering the cab to stop so she could get out and
walk when she finally arrived at Cal's road. Not
wanting the taxi driver to see where she was going,
she got him to drop her off at the top of the road
and only when she was sure he had driven off did
she walk swiftly to Cal's house. With a pounding
heart, she rang the doorbell.

'Sorry I'm so late,' she said as soon as Cal opened
the door.

He smiled. 'Doesn't matter – you're here now.'

All Angel wanted to do was tear off Cal's clothes
and make love with him, but he led her to his
dining room where he pulled out a chair for her at
the elegant table. Even though food was the last
thing on Angel's agenda, she had to admit that Cal
had prepared a delicious meal. He asked her about
her day and she asked him about his. It was all very
civilised and suddenly Angel felt shy. He still
seemed so distant and unobtainable. It was no
good, she couldn't keep up the pretence that they
were just good friends any longer, and so, halfway
through her buffalo mozzarella and tomato salad,
she put her fork down and stood up.

'Cal, can the main course wait a bit longer?'

'Sure,' he said, slightly surprised.

'Because I don't think I can.' And, summoning
all her strength, she walked over to him and kissed
him. 'I've been thinking about you all day,' she told
him.

'I've been thinking about you as well,' he replied,
kissing her back. He pulled her onto his lap and
started caressing her. 'I just didn't want you to
think that it was just about sex, but now you're
here . . .'

'It's not just about sex,' she murmured. 'But now
I'm here . . .'

By way of an answer, he unbuttoned her skirt
and kissed her breasts, and after that neither he nor
Angel cared about what was for dinner.

Later, as they lay in his bed, he gently traced his
fingers over her face.

'You're so beautiful, Angel.'

'No, I'm not.' She laughed, secretly thrilled that
he had paid her such a compliment.

Then suddenly she was serious. She needed to
know what was going on between them. Was she
just a fling while Simone was away? She so wanted
to ask him, but at the same time she couldn't bear it
if he told her that's all she was. So she said nothing.
When she went to the bathroom, she tried not to
look at Simone's expensive cleansing products on
display, feeling a sudden pang of guilt. She didn't
like Simone, but that didn't mean she thought what
she was doing was right. It's just that she was
powerless to stop.

For the two weeks that followed, they were lovers
in the way that Angel had only dreamt of. Fearful of
being photographed by the press if they went out
together, they spent every night at Cal's. Angel
invented Narcotics Anonymous meetings when
Gemma asked her why she couldn't meet up. For
two weeks, Angel couldn't have been happier, but
by the end of it she was still no closer to figuring out
Cal's feelings for her. Yes, he said she was beautiful,
yes, he held her all night, made love to her in a way
which Angel felt sure must mean that he loved her.
But he didn't say it, and even though Angel longed
to throw caution to the wind and tell him that she
loved him, something held her back. What if she
ended up pushing Cal away?

On their last Sunday together, Angel was suddenly
desperate to be outside. She felt if she stayed in the
house any longer she would end up blurting out the
questions she most wanted answered: was he going to
leave Simone and be with her? Did he love her?
They'd spent most of the day in bed and outside it
was a beautiful summer afternoon.

'Shall we go for a walk on the Heath?' Angel
asked. 'I've got a hat and sunglasses and I promise
I won't jump on you in public.'

Cal considered and seemed reluctant, but then
he agreed.

It wasn't her best idea, and even though she
knew she wouldn't be able to hold Cal's hand, she
couldn't help wanting to. They were surrounded by
couples going out for romantic Sunday afternoon
walks, arms draped round each other, whereas Cal
marched briskly, so fast that Angel had to practically
jog to keep up with him. She couldn't read his
expression behind his sunglasses and he was
subdued and barely said a word.

'D'you think we could sit down for a minute,'
she panted, out of breath from the pace he'd kept
up.

'There's a bench under that tree over there,' he
said.

'You're very quiet today,' she observed as they
sat down.

'I know, I'm sorry. I've got things on my mind.
Simone's back tomorrow.'

Angel felt cold. Was this it? The moment he was
going to tell her that he didn't want to see her
again? This possibility had been torture
before
the
two weeks they had spent together – she couldn't
imagine what it would be like now they had made
love.

'I really need to sort things out with her.'

Angel was expecting him to continue, but he
looked at his watch and sighed. 'I'm going to have
to get back now, I've got a dinner appointment with
my agent.' They walked back to his house in silence.
Once there, Angel hurriedly packed her things.
while Cal made tea. But Angel didn't feel like
drinking tea and pretending everything was okay.

'I'm going to head off now, Cal,' she said as he
walked into the living room.

'I made you some tea.'

'It's okay, I'm going to go to the gym.' A
whopping lie – she was going to go home and have
a very large glass of wine – her first in nearly two
months – and have a good cry. She so wanted him
to take her in his arms as she said goodbye, but
instead he simply gave her a kiss on the cheek.

'I'll call you when I can. Take care.'

What the fuck's going on?
she thought angrily as
she stomped back to her apartment. She'd hardly
been there for two weeks and the place was
unbearably hot. She opened all the windows, then
poured herself a glass of wine. But as she sipped it,
her mood darkened. She had felt so close to Cal and
being parted from him, not knowing what was
going to happen, was like a physical pain – she
ached with longing for him. She kept hoping he
would call that night, and so many times she was on
the point of ringing him, but somehow she stopped
herself. Two days later, when she still hadn't heard
from him, she found herself confessing everything
to Gemma.

'I don't know what to do, Gemma – I can't bear
not knowing what's going on,' Angel said
miserably, and Gemma's face softened as she took
pity on her.

'Well, I guess you've got a choice: you can either
wait for him to call, or you can call him and find out
what's going on.'

'I can't call him,' Angel exclaimed.

'Well, you'll just have to wait for him to call you,
then.'

But Cal didn't contact her. Angel felt wretched,
unable to concentrate on anything. She went
through the motions of working and going out with
Gemma and other friends, but she felt as if she was
sleepwalking. It took all her will power not to take
coke again; she felt so miserable that she was sorely
tempted several times.

This weekend was Gemma's hen weekend and
the last thing she wanted to do was to ruin it, so
she tried her best to put on a brave face. She
wanted to give her best friend a fantastic time, but
she was also dreading it. Worst of all, Simone was
coming too. Gemma really hadn't wanted to ask
Simone to the party, not just for Angel's sake, but
because none of Gemma's and Angel's other
friends liked her. But Tony had insisted, saying it
would look really bad if Gemma didn't ask her.

'It was Simone's birthday on Wednesday,'
Gemma said meaningfully to Angel as the hen party
travelled in the Chrysler Voyager to the first
surprise Angel had planned for her friend.

Is that the reason I haven't heard from Cal?
Angel
wondered.
That he didn't want to be a total bastard by
dumping his girlfriend on her birthday? Even so, he could
have called me, or texted me or something. He must know
how much I want to hear from him.

From the moment the car had picked her up,
Simone had moaned, wanting to know where they
were going and why they were leaving so early in
the morning.

'I can't say,' Angel kept repeating. 'It's a
surprise.'

First the girls were off to Alton Towers – Gemma
was such a thrill-seeker that Angel knew she would
love all the rides. Then the car was driving them to
a luxurious spa hotel where they'd be staying the
night and having dinner, and the following day
they'd be able to chill out in the spa and have
treatments. Angel was paying for the majority of
the trip, she'd just asked for a small contribution
from the others – so far Simone was the only one
who hadn't coughed up – to buy a cake and
champagne for Gemma. Also with them were
Cheryl and Tamzin, who went out with two of the
players in the team Tony worked for, Zoë, who
Gemma worked with, and Andrea, their glamour
model friend – all lovely down-to-earth girls, up for
a laugh. All except Simone.

'I wouldn't mind,' Gemma whispered to Angel,
'but I didn't want her to come anyway.'

They passed the time by singing along raucously
to eighties CDs: The Human League's 'Don't You
Want Me', Soft Cell's 'Tainted Love', Spandau
Ballet's 'Gold', Culture Club's 'Do You Really Want
to Hurt Me?' Madonna's 'Like A Virgin' – well,
everyone except Simone, who complained that they
were giving her a headache.

Finally they arrived at Alton Towers. Everyone,
with the exception of Simone, squealed with delight
when they realised where they were.

'That is so cool, Angel! What a great idea,'
exclaimed Cheryl.
'That is
so
not my thing,' muttered Simone,
moodily. 'I suffer from vertigo, there's no way I can
go on any of those rides. I'll have a latte – that's if
they make them in a place like
this
. Call me when
you've finished.' And with that, she flounced off,
leaving the other girls giggling at her high and
mighty behaviour.

'She's such a stuck-up cow, she probably didn't
want her hair messed up,' exclaimed Zoë. 'I can't
believe she's with Cal, he's so gorgeous!'

Cal was the very last person Angel wanted to talk
about, so she quickly said, 'Who's for Nemesis?'

'Yeah!' the girls all exclaimed, fizzing with excitement
and rushing to take their places in the queue
for the roller-coaster.

The girls were up for everything – as far as they
were concerned, the more terrifying the better. By
mid-afternoon everyone had screamed so much
they could barely speak.

'I'm starving,' Gemma announced. 'Let's get
some chips.'

As they sat in the restaurant, gossiping and
laughing about their experiences, Gemma got a call
from Simone. She pulled a face and held the phone
away from her ear as Simone droned on.

'Okay, I'll just check with Angel.' Gemma finally
managed to get a word in.

'She says she's freezing cold and wants to go to
the hotel, so can the driver collect her and take her
there and then come back for us?'

'Sure – that's the driver's number.' Angel found
the number on her phone and showed it to
Gemma. 'She'll have to call him.'

Gemma gave Simone the number and then came
off the phone. 'What a waste of space she is. I wish
I'd asked my mum instead of her, she'd have had a
great time.'

'Wow, Angel, this is so gorgeous, thank you so
much!' Gemma exclaimed, walking into the
luxurious hotel room she was sharing with Angel.

Angel smiled. She was glad Gemma was enjoying
her day. Seeing Gemma so happy helped make
some of the pain about Cal go away, for a short
while, at least.

They had arrived back at the hotel to discover
Simone sipping a champagne cocktail at the bar
and looking glamorous and smug. 'I decided to
have a massage and get my nails and hair done; I
want to look good for Cal tomorrow. Did you lot
have a good time?' she asked patronisingly. 'You
look so windswept, especially you, Angel. I wonder
how on earth you're going to get a brush through
your hair!' She gave a little laugh, showing off her
small pearly-white teeth, and Angel resisted the
temptation to throw her champagne cocktail all
over her shiny, freshly-washed hair.

'Just as well that we're going to get ready for
dinner then, isn't it?' Angel replied icily. 'Seems like
you'd better have something to eat soon to soak up
all that champagne you've been drinking.'

'Don't let her get to you,' Gemma advised Angel
as the two of them put on their make-up.

'You don't think she suspects that there's been
anything between me and Cal?' Angel asked.

'I don't think so, I just think she knows that
you're better-looking than she is and she doesn't
like the competition.'

All day Angel had tried to push thoughts of Cal
out of her mind, but now they came flooding back.
The thought of sitting at the same table as Simone
made her feel almost sick with jealousy.

'Honestly, Angel, don't let her get to you, she's
not worth it.' Angel smiled as Gemma put on an
EastEnders
accent.

'You're right,' she replied. 'Am I bovvered?'

Fortunately, dinner wasn't as bad as Angel had
been expecting. Poor Cheryl had the misfortune to
sit next to Simone and had to listen to her going on
about her acting ambitions, how she was so much
better than everyone else in the soap, how she
should get her own series, blah blah blah. After
dinner Angel had arranged for a cake and
champagne to be sent up to her suite so they could
give Gemma her presents. Angel had bought her
friend some gorgeous lingerie at Agent Provocateur;
the others had bought a huge bag of saucy supplies
from Ann Summers, including a Rabbit.

'Oh my God, Gemma, that's the platinum
version – you'll never want to leave the house,'
joked Zoë.

Simone looked at them all giggling and said, 'I
don't see the point of vibrators. I've got Cal. He's so
good in bed I don't need anything else.'

Angel felt a sharp pang of jealousy at the thought
of Simone in bed with Cal and couldn't think of
anything crushing to reply with. Gemma, though,
had no difficulties.

'Yeah, but what about when you're away filming
– I'm sure this—' she waved the Rabbit in
Simone's face '—could come in very handy for all
those lonely nights.'

'No, it's so tacky,' Simone snapped.

'There speaks a girl who's never used one,'
Gemma laughed. 'Even Cal can't be that good!'

Everyone with the exception of Simone laughed,
and she really didn't like it.

'Anyway,' she said nastily, 'I expect Angel knows
the whole range of sex toys. I'm surprised she
hasn't asked one of us for a threesome so she can
demonstrate her knowledge.'

Angel stared at the floor, her cheeks burning
with shame and anger. Everyone looked angry at
Simone's comment and Gemma immediately leapt
to her friend's defence.

'There's no need to be so bitchy, Simone, you're
not doing yourself any favours here.'

'Oh, come on,' Simone retorted, 'I was only
joking.' But seeing the stony looks on everyone
else's faces, she huffily got out a package and thrust
it at Gemma, who unwrapped it to discover a small
travel pack of the Spa products on sale at the hotel.
Hardly the most imaginative of presents
, Angel thought.
Sensing that she'd lost some ground, Simone said
she was tired and went off to bed, but she couldn't
resist making a last snide remark as she opened the
door to go.

'Enjoy your goodie bag, Gemma, I'm saving
myself for tomorrow night when Cal's here. We
always have such good sex after we've been away
from each other.' And before anyone could reply,
she shut the door.

'Thank Christ for that!' Gemma declared.

'Ding dong, the witch is dead,' exclaimed
Andrea, adding, 'She's such a bitch, Angel, don't let
her upset you.'

Angel forced herself to smile, and, not wanting to
give Simone any more headroom, she opened
another bottle of champagne and turned the music
up.

'I've had a great time. Thanks again, Angel,'
Gemma slurred as the two finally crawled into their
beds. Gemma quickly fell asleep but Angel, who
hadn't drunk anywhere near as much, was awake
for hours, obsessing over Cal.

The next day, the hen party recovered from the
night before at the luxurious spa, swimming, lying
by the pool and having treatments. By five o'clock,
everyone, including Angel, was feeling totally
chilled out – well, everyone except Simone, of
course, who complained that the facial wasn't up to
the ones she had in London.

'Do you have facials very often then, Simone?'
Gemma asked sweetly as Simone droned on and on
about it.

'Every three weeks.'

'Well, I guess that's a good idea, because you are
a little bit older than the rest of us, aren't you?'
Gemma asked, still putting on her sweet voice.

'I'm twenty-five,' Simone snapped back.

'Oh, really?' Gemma answered in mock surprise.
'I thought Cal said that you were twenty-nine?'

Simone was too angry to speak. Angel had to bite her lip to
stop herself from laughing and when she found that she couldn't, she quickly
dived into the pool.

The girls were being joined by the lads later that
evening. It would be the first time Angel had seen
Cal for a week and suddenly she was gripped with
nerves. She didn't think she could bear it if he
rejected her. As soon as they arrived, Gemma and
the others shot downstairs to see them and interrogate
them about where they'd been – Gemma was
convinced that Cal had taken them to Amsterdam.
But Angel couldn't face seeing Cal and Simone
happily reunited, so she stayed in the suite and
slowly got ready for dinner. An hour later, Gemma
burst into the room, grabbed her bag of Agent
Provocateur lingerie, winked at Angel and told her
she was going to Tony's room and that she'd see
her at dinner.

Angel sighed; she hated to think of Cal being
alone with Simone in their hotel room. How was
she going to get through this evening, seeing the
pair of them? She tried to occupy herself with
getting ready. She was wearing a knee-length green
silk dress that moulded to every curve of her
body, sheer black stockings with seams running up
the back and green suede peep-toe shoes – her
grown-up look. The hotel hairdresser had come to
the room earlier and put her hair up, which
showed off Angel's beautiful long neck. If she had
to face Cal with Simone, she wanted to do it in
femme fatale mode and, if she was honest, she
damned well wanted to show Cal what he was
missing.

She was just making a last-minute check of her
appearance when there was a knock at the door.
Thinking it would be Gemma, she opened it to
discover Cal.

Immediately, her throat went dry and butterflies
exploded inside her.

'Can I come in?' he asked quietly.

There were so many things she wanted to ask
him. Why hadn't he called her when he said that he
would? What was going on between them? But she
didn't have time to speak before Cal took her in his
arms.

'Hi, beautiful.' He was ever so slightly drunk, she
realised, as he kissed her.

She pulled out of the embrace. 'Where's
Simone?'

'Oh, I don't know, having her nails done or
something. Let's not talk about her now. I really
missed you.'

He carried on kissing Angel, and with every kiss
and every caress her barriers weakened and the
questions in her head went unasked. When he
unzipped her dress and let it fall to the ground in a
silken pool, she didn't resist, and when he led her
to the bed she didn't stop him either.

'I thought you were having your hair put up?'
Gemma asked her friend, looking puzzled as Angel
took her place at the dinner table.

'Yeah, I did,' Angel replied shiftily, 'but it looked
like shit, so I had to take it down again.' She hated
lying to her friend, but what other explanation
could she give, surrounded by people and sitting
opposite Simone, who, as usual, was looking
daggers at her?

Earlier Angel and Cal had made love –
passionately, intensely, urgently, in a way that
simultaneously thrilled Angel and left her wanting
more. She still hadn't been able to ask him what was
going on between them and he'd left in a hurry,
promising that they would talk soon. Now, as she sat
down for dinner and Cal barely acknowledged her
presence, she couldn't help feeling used. She was
sitting next to Antonio, Cal's Spanish team-mate,
who clearly hadn't got over his crush on her and who
was very attentive throughout the meal, but much as
Angel liked him, she really didn't want his attention.