ANOTHER KIND OF DIAMOND (7 page)

I believe you! So what happened then? Isabel asked.

He noticed I kind of liked him a lot but was careful with the whole thing ‘cause I was a minor them, understand? We went out to the movies and other fun places all the time and when people get curious we pretended he was my elder brother and stuff like that and everyone will just chill. It was Silas who taught how to do drugs and shit and I think he was a very good teacher. We used to spend most Sunday nights at my Aunt’s place ‘since she would be gone to spend the weekend with her boyfriend. I would close the door but leave it unlocked then he would sneak in ‘cause we didn’t want anybody notice what was going on and he didn’t want my Aunt get a clue of it at all.

You can’t bet on that! Isabel responded. I’m sure there must have been some nosey folks who must have sniffed his presence but chose to look the other way. You know how folks can be nosy and shit, don’t you?

May be! But I wasn’t thinking about it at the time ‘cause all that was in my mind was Silas, Carissa continued. It was all good though until that day he called and said he was breaking up with me but I refused to yield ‘cause I couldn’t picture myself living without him anymore. I remembered I was in tears pleading with him to tell what I did wrong.

Why? In your place Isabel will hang up on his face right away and forget about him there and then. That’s the best way to deal with that kind of nonsense. He probably was bluffing or something!

I didn’t think so and needed some kind of explanation.

And what did he say?

Nothing that made sense to me at all! Carissa said. But I was saddened by it all that I wasn’t eating nor sleeping much, understand? My Aunt noticed and thought I was not feeling well and began bugging me about it all and stuff but I never told her a damned thing about Silas. She thought may be another baby was on the way and was trying so hard to make me say so, but she was wrong. But just when I thought I was getting over him, Silas called to say he wanted me back and that was how we switched to level two and he began using me in some bad ways. He kind of knew my Aunt was living it off well, so he began asking me to steal money from her and give it to him.

You bought that shit?

I mean initially l didn’t wanna do it! But you see, whenever he asked me to do stuff and I refuse, he would start calling me this wired kinda name. Oh Carissa you’re nothing but a Bimbo, he would say to me. And both girls had a good laugh at that. Isabel! Carissa continued, we may be laughing now but I tell you, it wasn’t funny at all then. Now hear him continue; and since I don’t mess with them Bimbos, I’m gonna have to let you go and get me some rich babe.

Was he that nasty and cheap?

Yeah! But once he calls me that wired name I would do whatever it takes to prove to him that I’m not one of the so called damned Bimbos, whatever that means. That’s how I began stealing money from my Aunt and taking it to him ‘cause my Aunt could be everything but careful. Probably because she wasn’t used to kids hanging around her, she got careless and used to throw her wallet and stuff around.

She didn’t discover her money was missing or what? Isabel asked.

I’m not sure, but even if she did, she didn’t say anything to me about it just then. Actually it took a long time before she confronted me. She called me into her room one day and began talking to me about the evils of stealing and where thieves end up like I’ve never heard the fucking word, jail in my entire life. Eventually she came around and said, Carissa you’ve been taking my money, haven’t you? And I lied to her like I always. I’ve never touched your damned forking money, I snapped, acting like I was really mad. She had to call me in for this sort of conversation a few times and if I could still remember, it was on the third occasion that I pretended I was really mad and started acting out like one hell of a wild cat. Are you accusing me? I screamed at her face. Say you are fed up and want me out of your house and I’ll leave. The best part is you’re never gonna see me again, so what’s this whole thing about accusations and stuff, eh? Carissa continued laughing as she talked. And my Aunt went; “Is like you don’t wanna be here no more”. And I’m like, “not if you continue to accuse me!” So she kept quit and just went about her business and I continued with my stealing but in smaller amounts. For a long time she said nothing anymore so I thought she didn’t mind missing small change, know what I mean? It never crossed my mind that Silas was aiming for a bigger take until the day he convinced me to steal a large sum and I told him I’ve to wait till I find that kind of money. Somehow, the chance came sooner than I imagined and I took it. It was on an evening and I saw my Aunt’s wallet loaded with cash lying right there on the couch in the living room unattended.

That was kind of a trap right there! You should have guessed Carissa!

Yeah! Like you could feel me right now! I really had my doubts about the ease with which the shit was lying there but I couldn’t resist. I didn’t wanna disappoint Silas for any reason whatsoever, so I went for it. I didn’t even care to count the money but I knew it was a whole lot, so I acted real stupid, emptied the entire dough in the wallet and left home immediately for Silas’s place. And like he knew what was coming for him, he was right there waiting for me. As soon as he noticed I had a lot of money on me, he snatched the bag off me my shoulder with such a greed I’ve never seen in anybody. And then, he just took the money, tossed me my bag and said “you’ve got to run home now kid” He has never called me kid before now but that was what he chose to call me right then. I kind of looked at him in a mean way and stormed out of his house. I never said a word to him.

Isabel when I got home, hell broke loss. My Aunt was waiting for me in the living room ‘cause it was a set up just like I thought. A hidden camera had captured my every move and that was it. What more lies could I tell, eh?

Wow! Sounds kind of scary!

My Aunt was really mad with me and showed it. She wasn’t talking to me for days. I went back to Silas and told him what happened to see if he could return the money but he got real mean. “If you ever say anything to anybody about this, I’ll make sure I seek you out wherever you may be hiding and kill you and that old Aunt of yours too. And let me tell you some, I never want you near me again, bitch” That was what Silas told me.

No! No! He did not. Isabel reacted.

Wait! I haven’t finished. “You are a minor and should go be with guys your age ‘cause I never ever mess with minors. Now scram! Get out of my place ‘cause I got things to do, fool” And he chased me away like an animal or something.

Are you kidding me or something? What did you do after that?

My little heart was almost broken and I cried like I never did. My Aunt tried everything to find out what I did with the money but I never told her the truth. I simply said it was stolen from me by some guys on my way to school and good enough she didn’t go to the Police.

See what I have been saying? Isabel said. If you give a guy that kind of a chance, he messes you up. They don’t really care about you if you don’t have what they need!

I now know better! I guess you’ll be a fool first before you know how to act right! Carissa said.

I still feel bad that you let the mother fucking Silas get away with all he did. Isabel said. You should have done something real bad to him to teach him a lesson.

That sort of thing never crossed my mind! Besides, I didn’t want to do anything that will get back to my Aunt, so I played everything real cool and let it go. But I swore that kind of thing will never happen to me again and it has never happened again.

I’m not sure about that though ‘cause you almost fucked up with Teri last night. You better start learning real fast or another Silas may not be too far away.

No! Not again! Some day when I’m old enough to judge things for myself, I might decide to try one of those things my Aunt always talked about and see if there is anything anywhere like true love and all that. Like I said, I already figured my Aunt wasn’t wrong with all she did. After all she thought me how to cook those dishes I make and you’ll never stop eating.

The cheese burger too? Isabel asked.

Yeah!! Carissa confirmed. I used to watch her read all sorts of books, too. She could sew her own cloths and make all her beddings by herself. She did a lot of knitting and used to make very beautiful sweat shirts, hats, bags and all sorts. She made some beautiful patterns on Pillow cases that I couldn’t take my eyes away from. Is just that I wasn’t really cracking my brain then and trying to figure how she did all that ‘cause I would rather go and hang out with my friends and party, watch the damned TV or do the video games we used to circulate among friends then.

Tell me about it! Wait a minute! After the Silas stuff what was the consequence from your Aunt like? Isabel asked and anxiously waited for answer.

Baby that was huge! She said she was gonna find me a Home.

Find you a Home?

Yeah! She didn’t wanna put up with me anymore!

For real!

Ehen! And she would have done it but I ran away ‘cause I didn’t want to live in any of such Homes she was talking about. So I bolted to make her change her mind and it worked.

Where did you go Carissa?

To the street! I was on the street for about a week before they found me but Isabel that was one hell of a week of unforgettable experiences. That was the time I hooked up with Tasha. Girl! I tell you some-n; Tasha was one hell of a street wise kid at the time. When I met her she and her brother whom she said was hit and killed by a crazy guy in a car have been running from her dad and step mom for months. She was always sad then but very smart. She knew every nook and crannies of the street and without her I don’t think I would have survived for more than a day out there. She also knew how and where to find food which was very important to me, just as she was really fast with her fingers. That girl was slick! She could lift your bag off your shoulders without you feeling a damned thing. Shop lifting was her specialty. Tasha could take any damned thing she wanted from any store and nobody would notice. I don’t know how she did all that shit but I tell you some, I had respect for that babe.

That’s what you call babe on a fast lane! Isabel chipped in.

I know!! But the thing about the street is that as you steal from others so are you stolen from. It is a whole lot of different world out there. There were some other kids I met out there, all of us hiding beyond where human eyes reached. Yeah! We lived together, slept together and sometimes shared things like family does. We saw everyone else, but no one seemed to notice us or that they just didn’t care.

People don’t care about you unless you are one of their own, get what I am saying? May be a few might dare to look back and help out, I don’t know! Isabel said.

Too bad! Carissa exclaimed. Babe! I never knew how bad it was until it happened to me. There were quite a number of us then, all trying to survive in one of the harshest conditions you can imagine. Isabel out there is rough. If you are a babe thinking of running away from home think again ‘cause I tried it once and it wasn’t funny at all. I was always hungry and scared! Always! Once, I was beaten up by a guy ‘cause I turned him down. He even dared me to call the cops! I was treated like an animal or some-n, constantly on the run and hiding. You can’t even get to sleep, ‘cause you’ll be scared at all time. You only sleep ‘cause the body can’t take any more, not because you want to. You are at the mercy of weather conditions and have no way to protect yourself when they strike ‘cause once you are exposed like that anything can happen. One of the girls we were all there together with was found dead on an alley one day and that freaked the shit out of me but I still held on.

Tell me about it roommate! What’s the difference between someone who lives on the street and an animal in the wild? None!

You are right! Carissa continued. Once you bolt, babe you are on your own, unaccounted for in no man’s world. It is an open field where just about anything can happen. People can do anything to you as much as you yourself can run as wild as you want. I’ve been out there and I now know. Isabel! I saw a lot that I can’t even say it all in one story. It is torture, it is terifing and it is nasty. The guys don’t have it easy either. In fact, it is the same story for all of us. The first time I saw a guy cry was out there on the street. I must have been there two weeks when it happened. This tough looking boy that I was always scared of just stepped out to get himself some food and by the time he came back someone had stolen all his stuff. He said he also lost his whole earthly savings, a fifty Dollar bill and for that reason I watched him cry like a baby. Isabel started laughing.

It wasn’t funny at all, Carissa continued. That was all the money the guy had, understood? Those were really bad days. So bad that I was over joyed to be home when I was eventually found by the Police.

Wow! So you made them find you, ha?

I came out to the open without being told by anyone to do so and gladly too. Oh yes, I wanted to be found and I was found. But then, I’ve learnt something! Something very fascinating to me! The real deal about this running away from home thing is this; the moment you fulfill that stupid dream of yours to leave, you feel kinda relieved and ego takes over from there. Is like a big win so you take a deep breath and say, oh yeah, I made it! And then a sense of freedom cunningly takes over your entire being and you feel like someone who just discovered a fresh island. But I can say it now that whatever island you think you found is gonna disappear so soon and you’ll be left dry like a fish out of the fucking sea. As soon as the reality of it all hits you, girl, that’s like a boomerang, but then it would been too late. I mean, too late for you to start retracing your steps except if you are among the real courageous one. Mind you, Pride took you out there and would keep you there till you find your doom unless you act right. Some fear what their parents would do if they return home but believe me they want you back at all cost. There are a few friends I left behind out there and you don’t have to wonder at all whether they really want a home ‘cause they do. All you need is look into their eyes and you’ll see what they are really feeling. Babe they are hurting so bad! Those kids are so confused about it all ‘cause the street is deadly. It is a place you understand the meaning of safety ‘cause everyone is a friend and foe at the same time. If there is anywhere you constantly watch your back, it’s out there, ‘cause you’re never sure of the next moment since all you’ll always have is that moment you find yourself still breathing the fucking free air. Anything can happen at any time and with predators everywhere it is even worse for the girl kid who has no means of self-protection. Is not even good for anyone so all the kids out there need help! They all want a home. Not the kind of place they are running from but some other kind of home. It may not even Turn out better but they have learnt and they will stay and fight for their lives. But if they are compelled to return to the same place they escaped from, once they have tasted the street, they will be willing to go back, if only they can find someone to lead them home. You hear cases of missing persons, right? Some of them are run away kids taken from the street never to be seen again. I was in pain for a long time thinking of those friends I left behind out there but all that is now in the past.