Apple's Angst (26 page)

“That's okay. I can see you don't really want me there,” Lyon jumped in before she answered.

“It's not that,” Apple said, grabbing his hand. “It's just that it could take a while and I don't want you to get bored.”

“It's fine,” said Lyon, disappointed. She knew that he was looking, or waiting, for her to say, “Come in! Come in!”

But Apple knew it would be easier if he didn't come in. She just wanted to get the shoot over with, have something to eat, and get into bed.

“So, I'll see you, then?” Lyon said, looking in front of him.

Apple knew he was playing some sort of game. She'd heard and seen this time and time before. She knew that when Lyon said, “So I'll see you, then” and left it as a question, he wanted her to make the next move and say something like “I'll see you tomorrow, of course!” or “I'll call you after.”

But Apple suddenly felt exhausted. She didn't have time for these sorts of relationship games. Why didn't Lyon get that? Why couldn't he see that she was under pressure, and that the last thing she needed right now was for him to add more stress and make her feel bad for not wanting him to watch her photo shoot? This was a big day for her—a
life-changing
day—and Lyon should be making her life easier, not more difficult.

She wasn't going to allow him to play games. After all, she was
Apple
of Apple's Angst. People had just applauded her!

“Okay, speak later. Thanks for the drive,” Apple said, jumping out of the car.

But she felt awful. She was being a royal bitch and she didn't understand why. She turned around at the front door, realizing she had made a mistake. She wanted to chase after him and tell him that of course he was welcome to come in and watch. But it was too late. All Apple saw was the back of his car speeding off.

“You're here. Finally,” her mother said, opening the door. “She's here! We can get things moving now!” Apple was sure her mother had been waiting by the window for her to arrive.

After two hours of posing for the photographer—shots of Apple and her mother; Apple, her mother, and Crazy Aunt Hazel; Apple and her father; and a couple of solo shots of Apple and then of Dr. Berg—they were finished.

“I can't believe I'm going to be in
Angst
magazine,” her aunt kept repeating. “I can't wait for
all
my ex-boyfriends to see me! And see what they've missed out on!”

“Well, that's a lot of men,” Apple joked.

Apple's father had even been game for the photos, which was odd, considering he loved his privacy. “I'll do anything for my daughter,” he laughed, shaking the photographer's hand while apologizing for not knowing how to pose. Her mother, aside from occasionally bossing the photographer around, seemed to enjoy herself. She, of course, was an expert in getting her photo taken, and told the photographer her good angles and refused to pose showing her “bad side.”

After, Apple went upstairs and looked at her BlackBerry. She had missed twelve calls. There were some from Happy, Zen, Brooklyn, and Emme. She couldn't stand to
smile
for one more second, let alone talk to anyone, tonight. She shut off her BlackBerry and passed out, but not before washing all the makeup off her face. If there was one thing Apple was going to make sure of, it was that she wasn't going to get pimples. Now that she had to worry about being on television, there was no way she was going to look like anything other than … well, a person worthy of being featured in a magazine and on television.

Apple had no idea what Emme said to the doorman at the club, but they were whisked inside immediately, with the rest of the partiers, into a private room separated by a velvet rope.

Emme began to introduce her friends to Apple. Apple was trying hard to remember the names of the three new faces in front of her.

“How was the behind-the-scenes shoot?” Emme asked once they all were seated. She wasn't sure if Emme was making fun of her or not. They hadn't had time to talk today at work about anything but work. They had taken inventory all day of designer clothes that had been sent in and had to be sent back. Emme would call out the designer names, and Apple would log them into the computer.

“I think it went okay. I barely remember doing it,” responded Apple.

“At least you were so great on
Angst TV
reading out your advice. You really are a natural. Like mother, like daughter, huh?” Emme said, giving her a friendly shove.

“Thanks!” Apple said, still pleased with herself.

“How is your boyfriend?” Emme asked.

Apple couldn't believe it, but she found herself wanting to open up to Emme. Maybe it was because she didn't know Emme all that well, so she figured she would be more objective and less judgmental than her best friends, who had known her forever. Or maybe she had learned what happened if you keep secrets too long. Last time, when she had kept her Zen Crush to herself, the whole world had ending up knowing. Apple felt she was going to burst with everything that had gone on her personal life in the last little while.

“I don't know. Things are a little strained. I'm not sure what's going on. He seems mad at me. But, in his defense, I haven't been spending much time with him. It's not because I don't want to. I literally don't have the time,” explained Apple.

“Well, didn't Nancy tell you that your social life would suffer?” Emme asked. “She told me that.”

“Yes, she did. But I had no idea to what extent!” Apple said.

“Well, why don't you ask him to come out? It's still early. He can meet us here,” suggested Emme.

Why hadn't Apple thought of that? The idea of inviting Lyon out with her and Emme hadn't even crossed her mind, even though she and Lyon had spent nearly every Saturday night together since they met. But Apple
knew that Lyon didn't really seem to like Emme. He had told her in passing a few days earlier that he was worried Emme would be a “bad influence” on her. Apple had laughed that notion off. How old did Lyon think she was? She didn't need to be told whom she could be friendly with.

“I don't know if this is his scene,” Apple responded, looking around. She wasn't sure it was her scene either, but she was enjoying herself. The club was pulsating with loud music, people were out on the dance floor, and everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Apple wanted to be around people who were in a good mood, letting loose, enjoying life. She didn't want the strain of being around Lyon, and that's what being around him had started to become. They always seemed to be were on the verge of being in a fight these days.

“I think if you really wanted to see him, you'd make the time to see him,” Emme said, with a lilt in her voice. “There is something more to this story, isn't there? Something you're not telling me.”

Emme was right. If Apple did really want to see Lyon, she'd make the time for him, wouldn't she?

“Well, there is something else,” Apple admitted. “I haven't told anyone, so you have to promise not to say anything!”

“I promise,” said Emme, looking Apple straight in the eyes.

Apple told Emme all about kissing Zen. She couldn't believe she told her, but the secret had been haunting her. She supposed she could have told Crazy Aunt
Hazel, but Hazel was too busy in wedding mode and wasn't exactly thrilled that Apple hadn't been at her beck and call, helping her with the planning and dishing out advice on what kind of napkins should be on the tables. She already knew what her mother's reaction would be if she told her. Dr. Berg would be like, “Didn't you learn your lesson already?” or “Once a cheater, always a cheater. You don't want to be that person!”

“I'm the most horrible person,” Apple moaned. “After I tried to steal him away from Happy, who is my best friend in the entire world, and she forgave me, I
still
kissed him! I'm not that person. I swear I'm not!” Apple said.

“Well, didn't you say they were having problems anyway?” Emme said. If she was shocked at hearing Apple's admission, she wasn't showing any sign of it. “Didn't you say Happy wanted you and Zen to get together?”

“Yeah, so?” asked Apple

“Well, it takes two to tango. You may have kissed him, but he kissed you too. You're not entirely to blame.”

“You think?” asked Apple.

“Yes, and no offense, but between me and you, Lyon seemed a little clingy that night we met,” said Emme. “He seemed a little overbearing for a boyfriend. But that's just my opinion.”

“You know what? He has been!” Apple said.

“Who needs that?” groaned Emme. “Trust me, they get worse! Once a jealous guy, always a jealous guy.”

Emme seemed so sure of herself that Apple found
herself believing what she said to be true. Lyon
was
being clingy! He
was
always acting jealous! Where once Lyon had simply seemed supportive, now Apple was seeing him in a new light.

“It's our little secret. Just forget about it. Let's have fun!” Emme said, looking around the club, bobbing her head to the beat of the music.

“Okay,” said Apple. Was Apple being ridiculous? Emme didn't seem fazed by her cheating on her boyfriend at all. In fact, it seemed to please her, as if Apple had made her proud.

“But maybe I should text Happy and Brooklyn,” Apple said. “It feels like I haven't seen them forever either. I want to make time for them.”

Apple texted Happy and Brooklyn. Instantly, she got responses. They both wanted to come and meet Apple and Emme and Emme's friends. Apple texted the address.

“Put that thing down and let's dance,” said Emme. “Happy doesn't even like Zen anymore, so just forget about it. He was just a foolie! I know you're still thinking about it. Come on! Let's dance!”

“Are you serious?” asked Apple, tensing up.

“Yes! Come on. You have to loosen up a bit. Live life!” said Emme.

“But I'm such a bad dancer! I have no rhythm,” moaned Apple.

“Who cares? Just have a drink! Don't look, but someone is taking a photo of you with her cell phone,” Emme said, trying to look nonchalant.

“What?” Apple asked. “Where?”

“Oh, my God,” Emme said, grabbing Apple's arm before she could get an explanation. “You'll never guess who's here!”

“Who?” Apple asked, turning her head to where Emme was looking.

“Sloan Starr! Oh, my God, this night is going to be so good!” she screeched.

“Sloan Starr is here?” Apple asked. She didn't even try to pretend she wasn't excited to hear the news.

“Yup. Over there! With his entourage,” Emme said.

Apple glanced to a table, where Sloan Starr sat surrounded by a gaggle of other people.

“You know, I met him. Well, very briefly. He complimented me on my hair after my first meeting with Fancy Nancy,” Apple said to Emme. “Well, he complimented me on my hair when it was curly.” For a moment, Apple was nostalgic for her curls. Ever since she had gotten her hair straightened and it was always neat, everything else in her life seemed to have gotten messed up.

“You should totally go over and say hi,” Emme suggested.

“Are you insane? He'll never remember me,” Apple responded.

“Who cares? You'll remind him. It's your job now
to interact with celebrities. You work at
Angst
magazine. Think of it as part of your duty. It's your job,” Emme pressed.

Apple took another sip of her sugary drink and contemplated Emme's words.

“You know what?” Apple said, standing up. “I'm going to do it. Why not?” The liquid courage was setting in.

Emme held up her hand for a high-five and grinned.

Apple straightened her dress and asked Emme if she had lipstick on her teeth.

“You look gorgeous,” Emme said. “Go forth and be brave!”

Apple walked over to where Sloan Starr was sitting, crammed into a booth with about eight others. She almost turned around when she was a couple of feet away. But Emme was right, and she couldn't turn back now. She did work at
Angst
magazine and she supposed it was part of her job to make nice to celebrities.