Apprehension and Desire: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (40 page)

“Good morning,” he murmured. “What brings you here, Miss Bennet?”

His cold tone seemed not to deter her, because she kept smiling. “I hoped to see you after what happened to me, but there has been no opportunity so far, so I decided to come here. I want to thank you for your help that day and for saving my life.”

He watched her. “You have already thanked me, if I recall. Mr. Darcy was also most generous.”

That was true; as a token of gratitude,  Darcy had gifted Joe with one of his best stallions, which was certainly a valuable addition to his stable.

“Are you here alone?” he questioned.

She shook her head. “My sister brought me. She is with the girls now.”

“I am glad to see you in good health,” he said after a moment, not being sure what else there was to say.

Her eyes were lowered to the ground for a while before she asked, quietly, “Mr. Cowlishaw, could we talk in private?”

Without a word, he gestured the way.

He led her through the whole length of the stable to the other end of the building, till they emerged on the back pasture.

“No one will interrupt us here.” He stood with his back to the fence. “How can I help you, Miss Bennet?”

She smiled, nervously. “You do not make it easy for me.”

“I do not understand.”

She hesitated. “It is not customary that women propose to men.”

He could not help his heartbeat accelerating. “Do you know what are you saying?”

“Yes.” She looked in his eyes. “Yes, I do.”

He stepped to her, grasping her forearms. “It is not some fancy game? You are not toying with me?”

She shook her head, her blue eyes unblinking.

“I can ensure you a good living, not worse than you are used to, but I cannot ever give you what your sister has with Darcy. Never. Do you understand?” he shook her gently. “There will be no balls, parties and fancy trips.”

“Do you care for me?” she asked only.

“I told you once that I cared. Should I repeat it?”

She smiled sweetly. “Yes.”

Joe took a deep breath. “I think that you are lovely, that your being mine is more than I could have ever dreamt of,” he murmured softly. “I did not dare to come to you because I knew you were out of my reach…”

Jane clung to him, her arms tightly wrapped around his neck.

One arm went around her waist securely, his other hand placed on her delicate nape. “Jane Bennet, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she whispered into his ear.

He pulled her away from him to look into her eyes. “I can hardly believe it.” He inhaled happily, his eyes admiring her pretty features. “What did I do to deserve you?”

She smiled and scooted back into his arms. He cupped her face and kissed her, gently at first, but when she pressed to him with trust, he deepened the kiss. He could tell that she had no experience. Had all the men in the south of England been eunuchs or what?

He drew back to see her lovely face flushed, her expression dreamy. “I should go to Hertfordshire to ask your father for your  hand, though I rather expect him to run his dogs after me. After you sister’s marriage to someone like Darcy, your parents would expect nothing less from you.”

Jane shook her head, her gloved hands supported on his chest. “Do not worry about Papa. I will give you a letter to him, explaining everything. The last time we talked, he said himself that I was of age, and I could decide for myself as I chose. He will not oppose us, but even if he did, I would not step back, though of course I wish for his blessing. As for my mother…,” her voice trailed away and she sighed, “I have come to terms with the fact that she will never accept any choice of mine after I rejected Mr. Bingley, unless I married at least a duke or some cousin of the Prince Regent, tenth in the line to the throne,” she laughed.

Joe grinned. “So you have rejected some poor fellow, huh? I knew there must have been someone in your past. You are way too beautiful and sweet not to fall for. Who was that Bingley?”

“A friend of Mr. Darcy.”

“Rich?” he guessed.

“Not like Mr. Darcy but…yes, rather wealthy,” Jane agreed reluctantly.

Joe’s expression fell, and he searched her eyes.  “Jane, are you sure of this? It is not too late   for you to change your mind?”

She gave him a steady look. “I have never been so sure of anything in my life. I want you, and I want to take care of the girls. I will be good to them, and I know they will grow to trust me, if you only liked me enough to tolerate me around you…”

He laughed. “Tolerate you? You silly girl.” He squeezed her tightly to him. “I am so dumbstruck that you have come to me and want me. I cannot believe my own luck.”

Jane placed her head on his shoulder, a happy sigh escaping. He liked that she was tall. His chin was about at the height of her forehead. He could still look down at her when necessary, but there was no need to bend in half to kiss her.

Reluctantly, he freed her from his arms. “Let us return. Your sister must be worried about you.”

She nodded but did not release him, instead taking his arm.

As they were passing by one of the empty stalls, Joe glanced to check if it was clean enough, and without asking, pulled her inside. She gasped in surprise, but did not protest when he pressed her against the wall and took her mouth. She was sweet, willing and trusting as he kissed her.

“You do not want a very long engagement; tell me you do not,” he murmured thickly.

“As you wish,” she breathed into his mouth.

They began to kiss again, but soon Jane stiffened and pushed away from him as she heard her sister’s voice.

“Jane,… Jane, are you there?” Elizabeth Darcy’s soprano carried in the air.

Jane checked her appearance, adjusting her bonnet which he had pushed back to be able to nibble on her neck.

Joe smiled smugly. Jane looked well kissed, and she could do nothing to change that. Her sister would have no difficulty in guessing what they had been doing for such a long time alone.

***

Darcy walked through the halls of Pemberley, his movements energetic. He had answered all the correspondence for today, and there was still a good part of the day left that he intended to devote to his wife.

Elizabeth had seemed to be so happy in the last weeks. They kept the news of the baby a secret, without making any official announcements. Elizabeth had been so scared for the first months that the history would repeat itself and she would miscarry again. At this point, however, in a matter of weeks, her state would be visible to everyone. He felt as proud as a peacock that soon her body would grow heavy with his child. He was more than certain that this time everything was well. He could even already  see and feel the hard bump once he undressed her in bed. He anticipated the moment when the child would start to move. He even started to spend more time with Edward’s boy to gain some practice while he had a chance.

Darcy had a feeling that Edward would return soon for a visit or decide to bring his family to London. His cousin sent letters almost every day, not only to Amy, but to him as well. He constantly asked  about her and the baby. Darcy understood him well, for he could not imagine separating from Elizabeth for such a long time.

Elizabeth was not in any of her usual places, so he decided to check upstairs. Perhaps she had taken a nap.

To his surprise, he found his wife together with Jane in the main foyer. They stood there with three little girls, helping them to remove their caps.

He strode to the small group. “We have guests, I see.”

Elizabeth turned to him slowly. As he saw her face, he knew that something was wrong. She was up to some mischief. He knew that look all too well. “I did not expect you here. I thought you were busy with your correspondence.”

“I have already finished,” he explained.

Elizabeth moved to step behind the girls, in which she succeeded only partially because the youngest one hid behind her skirts. “Do you remember Mr. Cowlishaw’s daughters?”

Darcy leaned forward and smiled. “Of course, I remember. Welcome to Pemberley, ladies. Why do we own the honour of your visit?”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes at him, while the eldest girl stepped forward and dropped an awkward curtsey.  “Good afternoon, sir,” a tiny voice spoke from near the floor.

Darcy smiled at the red haired child, but then he frowned as his gaze rested on his wife and her sister. Jane would not look at him. They were plotting something behind his back. He had no doubt.

Elizabeth gathered the children to herself and then pushed them towards her sister. “Jane, please, take the girls upstairs and show them their room.”

Jane picked up the youngest and hurried up the stairs. The other two girls followed her closely, their eyes widening as they looked around the white marble hallway, the golden banister and the steps covered with red carpet.

When they were out of the earshot, Darcy gave her his second most serious glare. “Elizabeth, what is the meaning of this? Are these children staying with us?”

She smiled brightly. “For a few days.”

“Does their father have some problems so he cannot take care of them?”

“In a way. He must travel to the south of England, and there is no one he can leave them with.”

His eyes narrowed; she sounded too innocent. “I do not understand why you did not tell me about this earlier. Why did Cowlishaw not come to me with that? I would not refuse him any help after what he has done for us. Still, I think that there is no reason for his daughters to stay in a guest room upstairs. That is an exaggeration, Elizabeth, although I do understand that you are grateful to Cowlishaw for rescuing your sister. My opinion is that you should have asked Mrs. Reynolds to put them in the servants quarters in the attic.”

“Servants quarters!” she huffed at him.

“What else would you expect? They are the daughters of our tenant, whom I like and respect but still…”

“Mr. Cowlishaw is not your tenant.” Elizabeth interrupted him furiously and looked around cautiously, lowering her voice. “He is an independent and wealthy farmer in his own right.” She straightened her back and lifted her chin up. “Let us go somewhere where we can  talk.”

She did not wait for him, but strode away first.

“Will you tell me now, what is going on here?” Darcy asked as he closed the door to his study.

“I will not beat around the bush,” she said, standing in front of him her arms crossed on her chest. “Mr. Cowlishaw proposed to Jane last week. He has gone to Hertfordshire to ask my father for her hand. Someone has to take care of the girls during his absence, so I thought it natural to invite them here. Jane will be their mother, after all, and quite soon I believe, because they do not wish to wait with the wedding.”

Darcy stared at her, muted.

“Are you well?” she asked, searching his shocked features. “William?” she probed.

“How… what…” he stammered at last.

“Shall I repeat?” she proposed kindly.

“How dare he?” Darcy choked at last.

Elizabeth walked to the sofa and settled herself on it comfortably. “I expected that you would have some difficulty when it came to accepting this situation,” she noted calmly.

“Difficulty! What is that man thinking?! He should have come to me first.”

Elizabeth raised one eyebrow. “To you? You are not Jane’s father.”

“But she is under my care, living in my home for the time being. I would refuse him her hand on behalf of your father. He would not have to travel so far, saving time and money.”

“Papa will not refuse him,” Elizabeth said.

“Elizabeth, your father tried to refuse me! Me!” he cried, gesturing to his chest. “Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley! Do you think that he would accept his daughter marrying a farmer?”

“My father felt apprehensive about our union because he thought that I did not return your affection,” Elizabeth pointed out. “He did not want a loveless marriage for me. Jane loves Mr. Cowlishaw. She is happy, willing to marry him and be the mother to his girls. I can assure you that Papa will not oppose.”

He gave her an unbelievable look. “You do not know what are you saying.”

“No, it is you who does not understand the facts.” She stood up, her tone losing its calm tones. “My sister is three and twenty, she is of age, and she can decide for herself. She will marry Mr. Cowlishaw even without our parents’ blessing. It was Mr. Cowlishaw himself who insisted on going to our father and asking for her hand.”

Darcy raked his hand through his already tousled hair. “I cannot believe that. It seems now that the only reasonable person in your family will be your mother. Oh, I am sure that Mrs. Bennet will not welcome with open arms a farmer as her son-in-law.”

Elizabeth gritted her teeth, watching him, but said nothing.

Darcy walked to the window, his facial expression strained. “I can imagine it, what a laugh, in front of my friends and acquaintances… This is my sister-in-law, Mrs. Wickham, whose husband is the son of my late father’s steward. And that is my other sister, Mrs. Cowlishaw. She is married to my tenant.” He let out a mocking laugh. “Has your sister gone completely out of her senses? What happened to her? She rejected Bingley to marry a farmer. Perhaps she suffered from her accident more than we thought?”