Authors: Devin Morgan
Sarah heard her friend order into a loud speaker at a fast food restaurant, then talk
to the window person as she claimed her food.
“Sorry hon, I just hate to be on the phone and treat the people helping me like they
don’t exist.” The sound of bags rustling interfered with their conversation for a
moment.
“There, I parked. Now I can have lunch with you.” More sounds of paper then a question,
mumbled over a mouthful of hamburger. “So, how’d it go?”
Giving up, Sarah answered with a sigh. “It went fine. Just fine.”
“Yeah? I’m really glad.” Sound of a soda being sucked up a straw was another brief
interruption in their conversation. “You’ve really helped him come a long way.”
“He’s been doing it himself. It isn’t me. I just believe in him. He’s doing all the
work.” She carried her plate and coffee mug to her living room, placed them on the
end table and sat down. Taking the phone into her hand, she swung her legs onto the
sofa, leaning back into the cushions.
“So, what did your mother think of him?”
“Honestly, Colleen. Give it up, please.”
#
CARLOS HAVARRO, transcript, session 24, September 10
My aching soul returned to the netherworld. There I floated without form or voice,
only thought. It was the same disjointed otherworldly state I occupied so many human
years before yet very different. I knew I was unfettered, free to move, to study,
to learn.
Being no more than thought, I imagined the forest and I was there. This was new. This
was exquisite. For the first time in my existence, I knew what complete freedom meant.
I was unhampered by the bonds of time and space, a consciousness without weight and
matter. I was able to travel great distances within split seconds, I could hear without
ears, see without eyes. I was a silent witness to the unfolding life that surrounded
me.
I felt time pass only in the changing from dark to light and light to dark. I watched
Queens and Kings play a human chess game with the people in their charge. I watched
governments change and governing bodies remain the same. All was new, time and again
and yet, all remained the same. How can I express this to you who are bound so tightly
by the encumbrance of a physical body?
I left England; I visited distant lands. Understanding all language made knowledge
easily accessible to me. I studied humans as a species. I learned things all men share
regardless of where they live or how they live
or what they worship. Yes, Sarah, there are many common denominators in all people.
The same emotions are felt by all. There are needs that are universal. I found as
I traveled that there are more similarities than there are differences in the human
race. And I found ignorance in every culture; ignorance and intolerance. Sadly, those
have not changed through the centuries.
I found all men have courage and determination. All beings have a need for companionship.
These things remain true regardless of time or place. And I found that I too have
need of companionship, I too have need of love.
The past brings us to this moment. I am here with you because I willed it. For centuries
I lived isolated from all creation and I thrived. I studied. I traveled. I was free.
And even though I found some sort of other worldly peace, I began to crave communication,
real discourse. I craved relating to a human, speaking with a human voice to answer
human questions. I craved touch. I felt neither the thirst nor the hunger as I was
without a vampire body to nourish. It was a yearning deeper than either of those two.
A desire for companionship that was greater even than the desire to possess a human
body, a longing connected to the essence of every being, animal, man or vampire.
I searched all the great documents to find answers to questions of the soul. Does
it end? Where does it go? Was there an end to my Elizabeth or did her spirit somehow
continue. Through my search, I came to believe there is no end. The substance of a
person is captured time and again in one embodiment after another. One life after
another. One century after another.
So I sought my beloved. Time and again I thought I found my Elizabeth. Then I would
discern that I was mistaken. My search was never ending. At long last, I found you.
For months I hovered near you, bodiless, without a voice to speak. I determined to
find a way to communicate, to declare myself. My essence cannot invade a living human
though in my resolution I tried and failed many times. So, I waited, praying to find
a
way to make myself known.
Your work with the human mind, the conscious and the subconscious, intrigued me. I
believed it could be an avenue to express my presence. I tried innumerable times to
reach you through your hypnotic patients but I was unable to find a way to control
their thoughts. Then came Carlos. His conscious mind slept so deeply, his subconscious
so confused by his past use of opiates, it was with ease I utilized his voice for
my words. I was able to introduce you to my world.
In the beginning, I was tormented that you would fear me and I know you did. But,
after a time, as you began to understand me, I could feel you reach out to me, to
anticipate our time together. I no longer felt adrift and without companionship. Alone
and without hope. I had you.
And it is through you Sarah, that my need is fulfilled. You see, my beloved, you are
my Elizabeth reborn. Alive here and now. You are my companion, my chosen companion
for all eternity. And with that thought as the last of our meeting, I leave you. Farewell,
Sarah.”
#
“I said I don’t feel like discussing the session. I just don’t see any reason to hash
over the vamp’s story again. Besides, what’s the crap about you being some dead broad
from the sixteenth century?”
“I don’t know what he meant about Elizabeth, but it appears the story has ended, Carlos.
We are now here in present time. Where else can it go?”
“I don’t want to think about it.” He stood. “I’m finished for the day.”
“We may be finished with Aris but we have a lot more to learn about you.” She moved
to his side. “Come on, I’ll walk you to the elevator.
T
he evening breeze coming from the open patio door was still warm but it carried the
fragrance of autumn. Sarah curled in the corner of her sofa comfortable in her pajamas.
The sun was setting earlier each day and stars were already visible in the twilight
sky.
Her unread book lay by her side as she stared at the surrounding buildings. Her mind
was full of the same questions and some very powerful new ones. What if Aris never
returned to a session? Whatever could he mean, she was “his Elizabeth?” What would
happen to her relationship with Carlos?
She had no answers to the puzzles. Standing, she crossed the room to step onto the
patio. Leaning on the rail, she searched out the brightest star. Smiling, she repeated
the old poem, “Star bright, star light.” Still, she wasn’t sure just what it was she
should wish.
#
Bonnie took her friend by the arm and led her off the sidewalk into the vestibule
of a bistro that wasn’t standing room only. “Let’s have lunch, okay?”
“Sounds good to me.” Sarah was tired and not just a little bit hungry. The smells
of the restaurant made her stomach growl. She was glad they didn’t have to wait for
a table.
The two women listened respectfully to the specials then turned
to the menus. They chose their lunches, ordered, then settled back to chat.
“Colleen is acting a little remote lately. Have you noticed anything strange about
her?” Bonnie questioned, sipping her wine as she waited for her friend to answer.
“I can’t say I have. What do you mean, Bon?”
“I don’t know exactly. She just seems different. I know she’s happy with Bob but there
seems to be something on her mind that she doesn’t want to talk about.”
The waiter placed their lunches on the table then filled their water glasses.
“But maybe I’m just imagining things. Everybody is so busy lately, it’s hard to find
time to really sit down and talk. Maybe that’s what I’m feeling, just no quality time
with her.”
“I know. This is the first opportunity we’ve had to get together and she couldn’t
make it. I’m sorry she isn’t here now. It’s been so long since we’ve had any girl
time.”
“So, let’s not waste this.” She took a bite of her pasta, chewed, then spoke. “So,
anything happening in your love life?”
“Not a thing,” Sarah shook her head. “Not a damned thing.”
“Except in my dreams,” she thought.
#
CARLOS HAVARRO, session 25, October 1
#
“Wonder why the vamp didn’t show today. This is the first time since he came on the
scene that he didn’t show.”
“I honestly don’t know, Carlos. I can’t figure it out.”
“Maybe the story is finished.”
“Yes, maybe the story is over.” She sat silently, staring out the window.
#
CARLOS HAVARRO, session 26, October 8
#
“No more vamp, huh?”
“It appears that’s the case, Carlos.”
“Okay, let’s go get some coffee. I think we’re finished here.” He stood and moved
toward his jacket draped on the chair by the door.
“Don’t you want to have a session anyway, Aris or not?”
“Sarah, the vamp has nothing to do with me. He never did. It was just some sort of
crazy story from somewhere in my subconscious mind. That’s what you said, right? I’m
calmer now. I have you in my life and that is the best thing that’s happened to me
so far. I have a job. I’m off drugs and booze. It seems my life is on track for the
first time and I don’t see any reason to keep doing this client/therapist thing any
longer.
“You said as long as I was your client, we couldn’t go any further in our personal
life. Well, I am telling you I am no longer your client. I am now just Carlos Havarro,
your friend and admirer. So, what do you say, want to go for some coffee?”
Sarah decided not to argue with him. She sighed, “Alright, let’s go.” She would let
him win the battle but the war was far from over. She felt she might never meet with
Aris again but she knew that Carlos still had the need for the regularity of his sessions
with her. She was determined not to let him struggle with his new life without the
help of therapy. She put thoughts of Aris from her mind, ignoring the empty feeling
she had in her chest as she locked the door behind her.
#
The drive back to the city was uneventful. Sunday evening was a quiet time for traffic.
Sarah was happy and content. She had a wonderful day with her family and looked forward
to the party Colleen and her husband were having later in the evening. She finally
noticed the changes to her friend Bonnie mentioned at
lunch. From the way her best friend had been looking and acting, Sarah thought there
might be a happy announcement this evening. She hoped it was so.
As she drove, her mind drifted to the story of Anne Boleyn and King Henry. Sarah had
never been interested in history except in relationship to her work involving past
life regressions, but now, it all had a new meaning. She wondered about Aris. What
had he looked like? Was he tall? Was he handsome? To be chosen by Alexander, he must
have been beautiful. And why was her mind full of him even after his disappearance?
It seemed she thought of him most of the time. Her other clients had become only cases
to fill the spaces between her conversations with him. Now, he was no more. There
were times when she wasn’t able to differentiate between he and Carlos, when she melded
them into one being, one person, one human.
“This is ridiculous.” Her frustration with herself showed in her angry whisper as
she parked her car in front of her friend’s house. Cars lined the curb and music could
be heard even outside the house. The door was unlocked and as she entered the room,
Elvis belted a song on the CD player.
Bob was carrying a tray of drinks when she walked in and he moved to her side to kiss
her cheek. “Glad you’re here, kiddo. Have a drink.”
Sarah laughed, “Sounds good.”
He held the tray in front of her and she reached out to take a glass of the bubbling
champagne. He winked at her as he walked away.
“Sarah.” She heard her name. She turned to face Carlos. “I thought you’d never get
here.”
“Hi.” Placing his hand on the bend of her elbow, he ushered her into the party.
“I want to say hi to Colleen.” She eased her arm from his grasp.
“She’s probably in the kitchen.” As she made her way across the crowded living room,
she enjoyed the sounds of friends chatting and laughing.
She peeked her head around the door only to find her friend standing stock still in
the middle of the kitchen, a spatula in her hand, a far off look in her eyes. “Colleen,
what is it? What’s the matter?”
Colleen burst into tears. “Nothing is the matter. I’m just so happy I could explode.
I heard from the doctor yesterday and I’m going to have a baby.”
Sarah hugged her and kissed her cheek. “I’m so happy for you. Did you tell Bob?”