Aryn's Desire: A BOLD Security Novel (Finding Submission Book 1) (24 page)

I run around the parking lot checking between cars before climbing into my car and taking off out of the parking lot. The road that the club is on is quiet this time of night. The area is industrial which makes it the perfect location for the club. Little to no activity at night and on weekends. This allows for some major anonymity for the club and the reason why Orik, Derek and I chose the location.

While on the main street, I drive slowly, hoping to find Aryn walking along the sidewalk, or in a worst case scenario, hiding between the buildings, but I come up empty.
 

Once I realize that he may have gotten lucky and managed to hail a cab, I head for Derek’s house.
 

While at a light, I text Derek.
 

Caden to Derek
: I can’t find A. Headed to your house. If you see him, let me know.

I don’t get a response, I didn’t expect one. Not if they are in his room back at the club.
 

During the drive to Derek’s house, I can’t help thinking about what I did. I have no doubt that I pushed him too far, but if that’s the case, I need the chance to apologize to him, to talk to him.
 

When I arrive at Derek’s, there isn’t anyone there, at least outside of the security staff. Celeste is quick to tell me that he’s not there and while I don’t believe her, I don’t have much choice.
 

My options at this point are to let it go, wait it out, or at the very least, text Derek.
 

I climb back into my car and my phone chimes with a text.
 

Derek to Caden
: Don’t know where he is, is he at the house? We’re on our way home now. Cotah is floating pretty hard; I need to be with her tonight.

Caden to Derek
: No, not at the house, Celeste said he’s not here. Can you please give him my number? Not going to make this worse than I already have.
 

Derek to Caden
: I’ll talk to him in the morning.

Caden to Derek
: Thanks.

I pull out of his driveway and I’m about two miles down the road when Derek approaches from the opposite direction. I flash my high beams and slow down. Derek slows next to me and we roll down our windows.
 

“You alright?” Derek asks through the window.

I shake my head. “I pushed him too far.”
 

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Dex says from the passenger seat. “He’ll show up. When I see him, I’ll let you know how he’s doing.”
 

“Thanks, Dex. I appreciate it.”
 

Both men smile at me and Derek nods before rolling up the window and heading off toward the house. It takes me a moment to move my foot from the break to the gas pedal and to make the short drive home.
 

*~* The Next Day *~*
 

Derek to Caden
: He’s back in Los Angeles.

Caden to Derek
: What do you mean? Dex is still here isn’t he?

Derek to Caden
: Yes, he arranged it with Sean, said he had to head back for something urgent. We know otherwise. Dex & Raine leave for New York tomorrow; he’ll be meeting them there. Dex says when he sees him, he’ll talk to him.
 

Caden to Derek
: Thanks, I appreciate it. You guys coming over tonight?

Derek to Caden
: Wouldn’t miss it.

THIRTY~FOUR

*~* ARYN *~*
 

“I don’t need a fucking lecture, Dex,” I bark into the phone.
 

“Who’s lecturing you?”
 

I sigh into the phone. “I freaked out.”
 

“Well hello, Captain Obvious, welcome to the party.”
 

“Fuck you.”
 

He sighs into the phone, and I know his disappointment must rival mine over running away from Nashville.
 

“Look, I’m sorry. I just wish you’d talk about it.”
 

I take a deep breath. “There is nothing to talk about.”
 

“Obviously there is, you ran away.”
 

“I just, I’m fucking confused,” I admit as I start to pace my apartment.

“About what? Caden?”
 

“No,” I snap.

“Yeah, alright. Listen, Caden is concerned about you. I’m going to text you his number. Please call him, or text him. Tell him you’re alright?”
 

“Fine.”
 

“You know what, jackass? Despite what you think, there are people in this world that fucking care about you. Caden is torn up over whatever it is that happened that night and he needs to know you’re at least physically okay. It doesn’t have to be any more than that.”
 

“Alright,” I relent. “I’ll text him.”
 

“Good. See you in a couple hours.” He hangs up.
 

We arrived in New York a couple hours ago with Talon, Eric, Calvin, plus the security team, sans Tori who stayed behind with Addison and Kyle. The twins are too young for traveling right now so Talon came alone. He’s a mess. He’s talked to them at least three times since we left the house in Los Angeles. I’ve never seen him so lost and confused, but if I know Talon when the shit starts moving and he’s on the spot, he’ll be right as rain.
 

We’re only missing Dex and Raine who will arrive soon. Tonight the band has their first appearance on one of the late night shows. This starts the week of album promo that will have us running around like madmen crisscrossing the city.
 

When Caden’s number came over, it took everything I have to talk to him. Rather than texting him, giving him an outlet to reach me, I blocked my number and called him. Hoping like hell he’d be busy and not answer his phone. Private numbers usually turn people off from answering their lines.
 

There was no answer and no direct send to voicemail which means I truly did catch him while he was busy and I left him a message.
 

“It’s Aryn, I’m perfectly fine. I, uh, I’m sorry I ran out on you the other night, but uh, yeah, I’m alright.” I hung up the phone and did my best to push all things Caden from my mind.
 

A task that is proving to be impossible.
 

He’s all I’ve thought about since that night. He’s all I see when I close my eyes. That night was something else altogether and I’m not sure I’m capable of explaining it to myself anymore. All I know is that Caden rejected me with the sweetest, kindest, warmest touch I’ve ever experienced before in my life. That rejection was confusing since I know he wanted me, he was hard as a rock, and yet he reacted the way that he did. Who does that?
 

But what makes me the craziest? The fact that his touch completely obliterated all my concerns, my fears. It made me feel safe, wanted, protected and most importantly, it made me feel like I really mattered. He touched me like that and rejected me in the same breath.

That is what I don’t understand. What I can’t wrap my head around.
 

A knock on my door, pulls me out of my thoughts about Caden, despite the fact that he remains there, in the back of my mind regardless of what I’m doing.
 

I open the door and Mills greets me by saying, “Time to roll.” I nod, grab all of my gear and head out.

THIRTY~FIVE

*~* CADEN *~*
 

“Why is this so important to you?” Derek asks me through the phone.
 

“It just is.”
 

“He’s fine, Caden.”
 

“I just wish he’d call me again,” I tell him.

“Why don’t you call him back?”
 

“I would if he hadn’t blocked his number and believe me, I’ve already tried to crack his encryption.”
 

He snorts into the phone. “Good luck with that. Those boys have some of the wildest technology, even you’d be jealous of it.”
 

I frown. “And you still won’t give me his number?”
 

“No, I won’t. He hasn’t given Dex or me permission to do so. Why does this mean so much to you?”
 

I sigh. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone.”
 

“Do you really think he wants to be a submissive?” he counters.
 

“No, I don’t. I don’t think he wants to be, but I think he’s coming to the reality that it just might be who he is. He had no problem following my commands that night, let alone the fact that he wanted permission from me before he’d consider giving me head. I’m pretty sure his realization of that fact is what sent him running. You know as well as I do that it happens all the time.”
 

He snorts again. “You think his confession is what sent him running? What about the fact that he may not be gay.”
 

“I’m not gay either.”
 

He chuckles, “You tell yourself that, but Caden, do you honestly think you’d be as attracted to him as you are if you weren’t at least bi?”
 

“Bi I can accept, but I’m not gay. I enjoy women just as much as you do. I enjoy them more when they are at my feet, but that’s beside the point.”
 

“Is it really?” Derek counters. “Think about it, Caden. Is Aryn really what you want or is the challenge of turning him, molding him, what’s really driving all this? You, more than anyone else I know, love this kind of challenge. It’s what keeps you motivated and more importantly, it’s what keeps you single. When you have a submissive at your side, you’re content until they’re trained, until they stop putting up a fight. The minute that they become compliant, you want to dump them for someone else.”
 

“Hardly,” I argue.
 

“Regardless, he’s a challenge, but what if he doesn’t want you, what if he’d prefer someone else? A woman?”
 

I shake my head despite the fact that he can’t see me through the phone. “I don’t think that’s the case.”
 

“But you don’t know,” he argues and I can’t dispute that because honestly, he’s right. I don’t know.
 

“That’s why I want to talk to him,” I tell Derek softly. “I can’t know until I hear it from him. You, above anyone else, should understand that.”
 

“What are you talking about?” he asks.
 

“Oh, I don’t know, you aren’t exactly the poster child for rational thought here my friend.” He knows exactly what I’m talking about, his own insane decisions make mine look like a cake walk at a school carnival.
 

“Fair enough,” he tells me. “But that doesn’t mean I’m handing over his number. But-” he hesitates, “You plan on going to any of your premieres?”
 

It’s my turn to snort. “No. You know I don’t do those damn things anymore.”
 

“Well, you might want to.”
 

“What are you talking about?” I ask him.
 

“You might want to reconsider.” He muffles the phone then comes back on, “I have to run.”
 

“Derek, what do you mean?”
 

“Just consider it. I have to run.”
 

He hangs up the phone, leaving me hanging, wondering why the upcoming Lost Hope premiere is suddenly so important.

*~* ARYN *~*

“We need to talk,” Dex tells me the moment we get to the hotel from the airport. I’ve already been here for half the day when their flight finally arrived.
 

“We don’t have time for it.”
 

“Bullshit,” he counters. “We have plenty of time and this won’t take long.” He opens the door to his hotel room. Raine had some stuff to do and discuss with Mills so they’ve gone off to another room on the floor. Since Addison stayed home, this one is on Raine to handle and this is her first time handling a press tour for 69 Bottles. I have every confidence in her, so does everyone else that’s here, but she’s completely distracted. She’d said something in the car about how they should have gone back to Los Angeles so that she could discuss stuff with Addison and get things straight, but the Top in Dex took over and he handled her in a way that gave her no choice but to comply. Though one would say the situation would seem forced, but for me, I realized that his comfort and control over Raine is a comfort to her. His encouragement and praise are a trait to be admired and I won’t lie, the jealousy returned.
 

“We’re here, so talk.” I lean against the wall, crossing my arms over my chest.
 

“Stop posturing. You know as well as I do that we are not in here for me to attack you.”
 

“No, you just want information so that you can feed it to Derek who can pass it along to Caden and I don’t need you or Derek meddling in my business.”
 

“Listen here, asshat.” Dex turns on me. “I don’t give a shit what you think, but you fucking know me better than that. I brought you in here because I am genuinely concerned about you. About what happened that night.”
 

The sincerity in his eyes tells me he does mean it. “Since when do you give a shit about someone other than yourself?” I argue back at him.
 

“When have I ever not given a shit about you?” His voice is tight, he’s pissed and he is fighting his anger and it fuels me just a little bit more. But he’s right with what he said. Dex, despite his hard ass exterior and assholishness, has always been there for me, no matter what.
 

“There is nothing to talk about.”
 

“Did he force you?”
 

My arms fall from my chest, “What? God, no. In fact it’s quite the opposite, he rejected me.”
 

That stops Dex cold. His anger subsides completely and his posture softens along with the hard stare in his eyes. “You wanted him?” His intention was clear in his eyes, strong and sure that he knows the answer to his own question but his words come out in more of an unsure whisper.