Asking For Trouble (44 page)

She pushed back from him and glared up at
him angrily, then spat, "Is that what this is about? A competition
with Chase? You only want me, because he wants me? You waltz in
here and tell me you love me, because you're
jealous
?!?"

Beau lunged forward and grabbed her, then
growled, "
No! I know he wants you
, have known it since we
were at the lake, but that's too fucking bad, because he's
never
going to have you. You're
mine
, and he better
keep his goddamned hands off of you!" Beau's breathing wasn't too
steady and he could hear his blood pounding in his ears. He sucked
in a sharp breath, trying to contain his anger, before he
continued. "This is only about one thing--
me
loving
you
."

"So when did you have this revelation,
Beau?" Jazzie asked flatly, then pulled out of his grasp. "The last
time I saw you, you couldn't even say you cared about me."

"The minute I left Bowie...left you," he
said in a shaky voice, and ran a hand through his hair. "I knew I'd
just made the worst mistake I'd ever made in my life."

"Then why the hell did it take you three
weeks to come back here and tell me then? I think you're just
wanting sex tonight, and I'm convenient," Jazzie told him with her
arms folded under her breasts, then added with a tilt of her chin,
"Well, this girl is done with that. I want love, and a relationship
with a man who's not afraid of love. I deserve that, and
my
kids
deserve that."

"I know you deserve better, that's why I
left...why it took me three weeks to come back. I convinced myself
I was doing the right thing, because you deserved better than what
I could offer. But I'm a selfish bastard, so here I am..."

"I haven't heard you say that
'what you
have to offer
' has changed," she told him with a snort, "And
you don't want kids remember? Well, I'm a package deal now, they
are part and parcel with me."

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Beau's head swam and he wobbled on his feet.
Jazzie stood there eyeing him warily, then huffed out a breath and
tears filled her eyes, "Yeah, that's what I thought," she said and
turned her back to walk away from him. Beau grabbed hold of his
senses and followed her and shouted in frustration, "Wait,
Jazzie!"

"I'm not waiting on you, Beau, I can't..."
she told him sadly, then picked up her glass of wine from the
dinner table and drank it down.

When she sat the glass back on the table, he
grabbed her hand and pulled it to his mouth to place a kiss in her
palm. "I'm not asking you to wait, and I'm not here, because I'm
horny...I'm here because I love you," Beau said and his voice
vibrated inside his head. His vision blurred then cleared and he
slurred, "I need to sit down, I feel funny," then let go of her
hand to grab the table.

Jazzie stepped closer and put her arm around
his waist and said, "What's wrong with you, Beau? You're scaring
me!"

"I don't know...maybe I need to eat
something," he told her and shook his head, then pulled out a chair
and she helped him sit.

"When is the last time you ate, Beau?" she
asked angrily and uncovered the food on the table, then dished up a
heaping plate and sat it in front of him.

"Yesterday, I think...I don't know," he said
and huffed out a breath.

"You're not a small guy, you can't go
without eating, Beau, you're gonna make yourself sick!" she yelled
at him, then took his wine glass and downed the contents then sat
it back down.

He just looked at his plate, then back up at
her and asked, "Where are Robbie and Lucy?"

"At their friends houses for the night," she
told him, then her lips tightened and she ordered, "Now eat! I
don't want you passing out on me! You said you wanted to talk, so
if you don't eat I'm not talking to you anymore." Jazzie folded her
arms around herself and waited for him to pick up his fork.

Beau reached up and grabbed her hand and
said softly, "Say it again...please."

"What?" she asked and huffed out a
frustrated breath.

"Tell me that you love me..." he clarified,
his eyes intent and focused on hers, his jaw held tightly.

Jazzie was damned worried about him, he
looked pale and drawn and he had lost weight, the man looked like
he was at the end of his rope and the knot was swiftly
unraveling.

Against her better judgment, Jazzie
complied. "I love you, Beau...but--"

Beau cut her off with a raised hand, and his
beautiful green eyes glittered.

"
Don't
--just stop there," he told
her, then whispered fiercely, with conviction, "I love you, Jazzie
Ramos...so fucking much...it would kill me to lose you." Beau
dropped his hand to the table, and his chin to his chest, while he
struggled with his emotions. A muscle in his jaw ticked, and he was
grinding his teeth.

"Beau, eat...please," she pleaded, then
turned away from him to gather up her own rampaging emotions.

"Eat with me, and I will...sit down, sugar,
pretend that you can stand to be around me...just for a little
while."

A sob escaped from Jazzie and she ran to the
kitchen. Beau was breaking her heart as surely as he was breaking
her resolve. Jazzie wanted nothing more than to pull him into her
arms and soothe the battered man that she loved, but she couldn't
let herself do that. The kids needed her to be strong, they
deserved a man who could love them too.

He'd said he loved her, and she knew that
was a breakthrough for him, a big one, but he hadn't said what
mattered most to her at this point. That he wanted the kids, that
he wanted a life with them. That was something that wasn't
negotiable...and she wasn't going to beg. Jazzie grabbed her middle
to try and stifle the pain that ripped through her. She couldn't
stand the thought of losing him forever either. For three weeks,
she'd been trying to move on, to forget about him, but seeing him
told her that wasn't going to happen.

She leaned back against the cabinet by the
sink and slid down to the floor, then buried her face in her hands.
Violent tremors racked her as the grief she'd been hiding for weeks
gushed forth and poured out of her like a summer storm.

Beau moaned, then she felt him kneel beside
her, then he sat and tugged her shoulders, until she crawled into
his lap. "Oh, god, don't cry, baby..." His arms closed like tight
bands around her, as if he would never let her go, or let anything
hurt her. He kissed her hair, then whispered brokenly, "Tell me
what I need to do to make it right, sweetheart...I'm just a stupid
man in love, I don't have a clue."

Jazzie couldn't breath, she was crying so
hard, so there was no way she was going to be able to speak. She
just shook her head, then slid her arms around his neck and hugged
him to her.

"Shhh..." he said gently, then rubbed her
back. "I'll do whatever it takes, darlin'...just tell me what you
need. I love you, sugar...like I've never loved anyone else in my
life. I want to spend the rest of my life proving it to you. I
swear I'll never go a day without saying it to you and the
kids."

Jazzie jerked and then sat up and ran her
arm across her face to swipe at her tears. "What did you just say?"
she asked in a hoarse whisper, because she was sure she was hearing
things. Her eyes held his and she held her breath waiting for him
to repeat himself.

"I said, I swear that I will tell you and
the kids every day that I love you...my parents never did that and
that's why I'm like I am. I want better than that for my kids," his
voice was low and sincere and his eyes were filled with hope.

"There is nothing wrong with the way you
are, Beau...you just needed to learn what love is supposed to be
like, you had poor examples. It's not your fault. I was lucky, my
mom and dad were always very affectionate."

"It is my fault, because I could have
handled things differently, but I was stubborn and hardheaded. I
thought I could go back to Lubbock and just pick up my single life
where I left off," he huffed out a breath and shook his head, "Man,
was I wrong...you were hooked in my heart, and there wasn't any way
to pull out the barbs."

"I'm glad," she said and smiled shakily. "I
love you, Beau...with all my heart, but I need to know if you are
one hundred percent sure you want to take on raising those kids.
You said you didn't want children...that's why I didn't have much
hope for us."

"Being with Robbie and Lucy for that week at
Sabrina's, being with you, was the best week of my life. I had so
much fun, we felt like a real family...something I'd never had
before...and it scared me."

Beau's stomach growled loudly, and he put a
hand over it and grimaced. Jazzie pushed up off of his lap and held
her hand out to him. "Let's go eat, before you blow away. I don't
like skinny men," she told him with a watery chuckle.

His eyes roamed around the kitchen, then he
said, "I like your house, it's perfect."

"Jess helped me...we had fun shopping. She
is a barrcuda at negotiations," she told him with a snort, then
finished, "She helped me buy the place furnished."

"Well, it's beautiful, sugar...ya'll did
good," he praised, then his stomach growled again.

"You need to eat!" she said darkly, then
grabbed his hand and dragged him to the dining room and forced him
down into a chair. "You need it heated up?"

"Hell, no, I'd eat it raw right about now.
I'm starving," he told her with a sexy grin, and dug into the steak
with relish. Jazzie breathed a relieved sigh, and picked up her
plate then served herself some of the now cold dinner.

"You want some wine?" she asked then set her
plate down.

"You have a beer?" he asked then popped a
large slice of steak into his mouth.

"No, but how big is your imagination? I have
red wine..."

He set down his fork and grinned, then
drawled, "Well, darlin', I guess my imagination is as big as my
d--"

"Beau!" she hooted and slugged him in the
shoulder, then sidestepped his grabby hands and went to the kitchen
to get the bottle. When she got back, she poured them another
glass, this would be her third...the way she was feeling, she might
have to polish off the bottle.

She sat down at the table again, and Beau
held her eyes as he ate. They devoured her as surely as he was
devouring the meal. Jazzie tried to eat her own dinner, but it
lodged in her throat as desire swept through her. She felt like a
butterfly in a collection about to be pinned to a board, and
squirmed in her chair. Lifting her wine to her lips with a
trembling hand, Jazzie downed a healthy gulp, then sat the glass
back down.

"You done eating?" he asked in a dangerously
serious voice, then downed the wine left in his own glass, his eyes
never leaving hers.

Jazzie nodded then set down her fork, and
finished her own wine, before she asked him nervously, "You feeling
better?"

Beau licked his lips and grinned sexily, his
eyes sparkling. "Better than I have in weeks...better than I have
in my whole life."

"Good, I was worried you were gonna keel
over on me," she laughed.

"No way, I'm not going anywhere..." he said
then stood and walked over to her, and held out his hand to her.
She looked at it, then back up at him and slid her palm over his.
Electricity immediately shot up her arm and sizzled through her
body.

With a tug, he pulled her up from the chair
and into his arms, and his mouth covered hers in a heated kiss, as
his hands smoothed over her hips, then settled and he pulled her
against his hardness. He rocked against her and a flash fire of
need gripped her and she lifted her leg and rubbed it against his
thigh, leaning in to try find relief.

He stiffened and dragged his mouth from
hers, and his chest was heaving when he asked, "Where's the
bedroom?" and bent down, then swept her into his arms.

"Upstairs, at the end of the hall on the
left," she told him quickly, and licked his throat, because she
couldn't resist tasting his salty sweet skin. He moaned and started
walking swiftly toward the staircase. Jazzie kissed the pulse
pounding at his throat, and it jumped a couple times then started
again, then she sucked, and a growl rumbled in his chest.

Taking the rest of the stairs two at a time,
Beau reached the landing then headed down the hallway, and Jazzie
nipped his earlobe, then pulled it between her lips. "I'm gonna
drop you on your ass, sugar," he warned, then walked across the
room and deposited her on the bed with a bounce. She smiled up at
him, and he reached for the hem of his t-shirt, and she groaned
when he pulled it over his head, and she saw his deliciously
muscled chest. Beau Bowman's body was a masterpiece. Even better
than her brother Carlos...he was too bulky...but Beau was
perfect.

Her eyes traveled hungrily over him, and
then stopped at his hands, which were at the button on his jeans.
He flicked the button, then his hand moved to his fly, and he slid
the zipper down slowly, and the bulge behind his tight white briefs
became visible. Jazzie sucked in a breath as need clutched her and
a throb began at her core.