Keys jingled as they hit the granite countertop, creating a sound that reverberated through the apartment because of the silence. I knew it had to be Lizzy and not Matt who’d come home. Which was a total blessing because Matt mostly would have strolled directly to my open bedroom door and caught me with my pants down, literally.
“Bails, are you home? Is that Matt with you?”
I let my head fall against the wall. It was an automatic response because I knew how her words sounded and there was nothing to do for it. “It’s me,” I called out. “And Matt’s not here.” I had to say that or she might have come to my room and caught me in the act.
“Ooo,” she said. Her voice made it clear she knew she’d made a mistake, a big one. “I forgot something. I’m on my way out.” And just as quickly as she’d come, she was gone. Lizzy was a supreme best friend. I wasn’t sure if she left because she really was planning to or if she was giving me some space. But I was grateful.
Once the door closed, Kalen spun me around. His eyes had darkened, if that was possible. “Who’s Matt? Are you fucking him too?”
In retrospect, I couldn’t blame him for coming to that conclusion. But in the moment, I reacted. With a crashing thwack, I slapped him hard across the face. “How dare you?”
Snarling, he said, “What did you expect me to think?”
“I expected you to asked and not assume, you asshole.”
“I did ask.” He sounded like he was restraining himself from reacting from the sting that was probably turning red on his face. Since we hadn’t bothered to turn on any lights, the only illumination in the room came from the hall.
“No, you asked then made judgments. Matt is my roommate’s brother. And you are only the third man I’ve ever slept with. So despite my whorish behavior, I’m sure I’m Mother Teresa compared to you. Now get the hell out.”
When he stepped towards me, I shoved at his chest and felt the coiled muscles tense there. He was like a mountain and didn’t move. “Lass,” he began.
“Don’t you lass me. Just lass your way out of my house,” I said, standing firm but not touching him. Touching him would be bad.
He turned his head as if to take in his surroundings before he left. When his head stopped and remained motionless for a second too long, I followed his line of sight. There I saw the unmistakable pair of man’s pants and dress shirt draped over a chair. I closed my eyes. This didn’t look good at all. I wanted to explain. But when his murderous gaze turned back to me, I found my own mad. “And I suppose those are Matt’s clothes. Is this your room?”
“Yes, and yes,” I said quickly. “But this is none of your business. You don’t know me.”
Reaching down, he pulled up his pants and said, “You’re right. I don’t.”
Stepping out of my own pants because I wasn’t going anywhere except to the shower once he was gone, I said, “Don’t you dare look at me that way. I was supposed to get married that night when I met you. Instead, I found myself drunk fucking a total stranger.”
Fastening his pants, he looked like he didn’t believe me and for some reason I wanted to cry. “I just bet,” he stated.
“Fuck you,” I cried out as he strode out of the room.
“I already did that, Sweetheart,” he called out in a matter-of-fact kind of way. Him not using the word Lass somehow hurt even more. Sweetheart wasn’t sweet coming from his tongue. It made me feel like a tart. And I was a tart, wasn’t I? When the front door closed, I leaned back on the wall where I’d just had amazing mind blowing sex with a man that wormed his way under my skin. I slid down said wall as the realization that I wouldn’t ever have that again with said man caused my knees to buckle.
It took me a long time to peel myself up from the floor. My tears no doubt would have made streaks on my face had I been wearing makeup. What was interesting was that I found no condom. And I wondered what he’d done with it. It didn’t matter, though. I just had to clean the table of food and beer before Matt and Lizzy came home. I wasn’t one to leave a mess for others. I slid open a window in my room first despite the chill to let fresh air in. Although I couldn’t smell it, sex was certainly in the air.
Even after a long shower filled with more tears from my shame, I remained alone in the house until I finally fell asleep. I’d put away the leftover pizza because it was too good to toss out. And I’d recycled the empty beer bottles. When I’d come back, my room no longer held his scent or the scent of our coupling. All evidence of his presence was gone.
This time when I woke up, I wasn’t surprised by the warmth or the boner at my back. “Matt,” I said, looking at my clock, which read five a.m. I had a half hour, but Matt’s vice grip around me and his forearm brushing the bottom of my breast left me no other choice but to wake him up if I wanted to move.
“Yeah, peanut,” he said.
“Please let me go,” I pleaded.
“Not yet. You’re so warm and soft.” He nuzzled next to me. A part of me relished his nearness. My bruised ego needed some stroking after last night. It felt good to be wanted.
“Would you think me a slut if I slept with you right now?” He went stock still. I wasn’t planning on sleeping with him. But Matt was a player if there ever was one. And he was a friend. I wanted to get his unbiased opinion, but I hadn’t bet on his reaction.
“Is that an invitation?” he inquired. His voice was low and nearly a whisper.
“Matt,” I said, nudging him with my elbow. “I’m serious.”
“It would be like a dream come true,” he said. Still his voice remained unamused and careful.
“What?” I asked. I’d heard him. It was what I didn’t hear that had me confused. The one thing I was grateful for was that he spooned me, so he couldn’t see my shocked expression.
“Bailey,” he said. Now I got more nervous. He never calls me by my name. It was always peanut. “I came to New York because of you.”
“What?” I repeated with a hitch in my throat. I’d crushed on him forever, but he’d never paid me any attention other than being his sister’s best friend.
“I think I’ve always liked you. Probably since the first day I saw you in Lizzy’s room.”
“But you ignored me,” I retorted, trying to make sense of what he was saying even though it was clear.
“Yeah, I was a bastard. I knew I wasn’t ready to settle down. I never wanted to hurt you and I knew if I asked you out then, I would. So I waited and sowed my wild oats.” He laughed at his joke.
“You waited too long,” I said, not really thinking about my meaning until he responded.
“Yeah,” he huffed. “That bastard sunk his hooks in you, and I tried to warn you but you didn’t listen.” He paused. “Sorry, I’m not trying to throw that in your face.”
“But you left,” I said, because he’d transferred to the University of Chicago after sophomore year.
“Yep, and you two were pretty serious. And I thought I’d lost my chance. And hadn’t I? You were going to marry him according to what Lizzy told me this summer. Then I got a call from her saying that you’d left him.”
“But you didn’t come for Christmas,” I stated, still not wanting to believe him.
He sighed. “You know things aren’t right with my dad. He still doesn’t like the idea that I don’t want to take over the family business. That I want to be a cop.”
“You should have come home,” I said. And not for me, I thought. I knew firsthand that his parents were crushed from his retreat away from the family.
“I know, but I’m here now.”
“You don’t understand. I met someone.”
His hold loosened. And I felt the loss. “So it’s too late.” A pause, before he added, “again.”
It was my turn to sigh. “Not exactly. I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again. He came over and saw your clothes in my room and got the wrong impression.”
“Fuck, peanut. I’m sorry.” Leave it to Matt to sound genuinely sorry even if it could have helped his cause.
“No, it’s okay. If he can’t trust me, there really is no point. But that’s not why you’re too late. Well, okay, partly. But this experience just lets me know that I’ve moved too fast. Less than a month ago I was engaged.”
“But you never loved him,” he said, sounding very sure of himself.
Letting out a breath, I said, “Yes, you’re probably right. But it feels like I’m getting all this attention all of a sudden and I need things to slow down. Your mom already set me up on a blind date.”
“What?” he asked. It was his turn to sound exasperated. “I thought she was on my side.”
I didn’t think about his words; I just kept moving on. “And he’s called, but I’ve been avoiding him instead of just telling him I want to be friends. Then there’s the guy who just bulldozed into my life. I can’t seem to say no to him. And then there is my boss.”
“Your boss?” he questioned.
“Yes, apparently he’s interested. And all the while I can’t seem to take charge of my life. Scott was always making decisions for me. My parents are the same.”
“But didn’t you say you went to Boston against their wishes?” It was nice talking to someone who understood me.
“Again yes, but only in small ways. I think I stayed with Scott to justify the things we did. I wouldn’t be a whore in their eyes if I married the guy I slept with.”
“You’re not a whore.”
Taking a deep breath, I said, “I hope you’re right.”
“I am. And what is the deal with your boss?”
So I told him the story. Matt was just there for me. Our conversation flowed on about my problems without any judgment from him. He even came up with a plan. He was going to meet me for lunch. This would prove very interesting.
Engrossed in my work, I didn’t see Kevin hovering over my desk more than feel him there. “What’s up?” I asked, still looking at the trend I was finding on each bank statement. So far, I’d reviewed five accounts for the entire fiscal year on each. Small amounts of money were being withdrawn from each account, each month, the same day the bank took out bank fees. The amount was minimal. A few were only like a dollar, but it was consistent each month. And as far as I could tell, it was being recorded as a bank charge on the company’s books.
“We are all headed to lunch,” Kevin said, taking my focus away from what I was working on.
My eyes widened. I looked at my watch remembering I was meeting Matt. My phone chimed. The screen lit up and Matt’s beautiful face filled the screen reminding me of our plan. “Oh, man, I forgot. I’m meeting my boyfriend for lunch.”
Kevin’s face clearly said he wasn’t pleased to hear those words, but he straightened his face quickly enough. “Why doesn’t he join us?”
No way in hell, I thought to myself. “We have plans,” I said, covering a smile, thinking of that double meaning.
“Okay, well, I guess we can still all head out.” Picking up my bag, I wondered if he was trying to confirm the validity of my statement or if he was just trying to meet my boyfriend. But all I knew was that this meeting might get me off the hook. I grabbed my shoulder bag and followed them out. After a quiet elevator ride down, we walked onto the street and there stood Matt.
There was no denying how attractive he was. And there was no denying the badge he wore clipped to his jeans. I turned to look at Kevin as Matt made his way over to me. Kevin saw.
“Hey beautiful,” Matt announced before taking me into his embrace and locking me in a kiss that would make any girl’s knees weak.
I heard Anna snicker and gave them all a hasty goodbye before I headed off to lunch with Matt. But not before Kevin said, “Remember, you only have an hour. We have much work to do.”
“What an asshole,” Matt chuckled, after they strode away.
“What a kiss,” I said breathlessly.
“I aim to please,” he said, looking rather pleased with himself.
Ten minutes later we were sitting at a deli with two hoagies in front of us. “There is no way I can eat this whole thing,” I said. “And thanks, by the way.”
Giving me his dimples, he said, “No problem. Anything for my peanut.”
After I’d eaten a quarter of the huge sub, I looked at Matt and said, “Now tell me why you’re really here.”
Swallowing his last bite, he put his half-eaten sandwich down. “It’s true, you know. I really came for you.” When I didn’t look convinced, he added, “When I left Boston two years ago it was the hardest thing for me to do. I had a mad thing for you. You were with the asshole. So when the opportunity of the special program for me to complete my criminology degree and finish my requirements with the police academy came along, I jumped on it.”
“So, if I hadn’t been with the asshole,” I said smiling, using his word, “you would have pursued me instead of your career?” I asked, trying to get him to admit that I wasn’t a factor.
“Let’s just say I wouldn’t have looked for a program out of state or I would have convinced you to come with me,” he said. And I had to give him credit for a pretty good answer. “You were taken and it was an opportunity I didn’t want to pass up. Even though dear old dad doesn’t want me in the line of fire, I knew if I stayed and pursued my goal to get into the FBI, he would have used his influence to make sure I got in. It was important to me to make it on my own. And when I found out that you’d finally left the asshole-.” He winked at me. “I applied with the bureau. I have an interview with them tomorrow.”
“Oh, congrats,” I said, leaning over the table to give him a quick hug before returning to my seat.
Smiling, he said, “You still were a major factor and it seems like I’ll be saying your name along with the phrase ‘the one that got away’ for the rest of my life.”
Reaching out, I squeezed his hand. “Matt, I’ve had a crush on you forever.” His eyes sparkled. “But your timing sucks.”
Laughing, he said, “Tell me about it. Just say this. If it doesn’t work with this-,”
“Kalen,” I offered.
“Kalen, you’ll give me a shot before anyone else.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I said, smiling at him.
Although I ended up throwing most of my uneaten lunch away, I was stuffed. That was New York for you. The Big Apple and all, they served big portions when not in those stuffy fancy restaurants.
Back in front of the client’s office building, Matt took me in a hug. “Just let me kiss you one last time.”
It wasn’t like I was anyone’s girlfriend. I nodded. And again, he gave me a toe curling kiss. I had a moment of regret when he walked away. He’d told me that he would be leaving on Friday to head back to Chicago. There was no reason for him to stay longer if he wasn’t going to pursue me. I urged him to go see his parents, but he wouldn’t commit to that. I wished him well and let him go, because right then, my mind was still very much attached to a tall Scotsman who made me want to pull my hair out.
My thoughts were occupied when I stepped back onto the floor where we had been stationed. When I walked into the conference room, I realized too late I was alone with Kevin. He closed the door behind me. A chill ran down my spine and I was grateful for plate glass windows that made up one wall of the room, giving everybody who walked past a clear view of us inside. He couldn’t possibly try anything because we were on display.
Turning to me, he said, “So you have a boyfriend.” I nodded, unsure where he was going with this. “And here I thought I got the vibe from you that you were interested in me.”
Open jawed, I said, “I’m not sure where you got that impression as I’m engaged.” Sometimes you don’t think. And this is one of those times. Here was another lie, but it came out of my mouth as a defensive reaction.
“I guess that’s that, then.”
“I suppose so,” I said. Feeling the awkwardness creep in, I decided to talk about my findings. “Kevin, there is something I’ve wanted to talk to you about.” And so I explained the wire transfers that had been coded as bank fees. He listened as I explained the odd occurrence of immaterial amounts being withdrawn on a monthly basis and how they were timed to coincide with bank fees.
When I was finished, he did look thoughtful. “Well, like you said, it’s immaterial. And you really shouldn’t be putting so much time into it.”
“But,” I started.
Holding up a hand, cutting me off, he said, “Document it and move on. You have another hundred accounts to review.”
And with that Jim and Anna walked in, ending our conversation. But I saw in Anna’s eyes that she felt the tension. Sitting in front of my laptop, I got back to work. However, something in me wouldn’t let this go. I would look into it even if I did it on my own time.