Finding me in the restroom before we left for the day, Anna said, “I guess you shut him down today.” She looked sympathetic. And I was beginning to wonder if the only truths I had would come out in the ladies’ room. With the conference room the only other space we had, I guess I would have to make do with the restroom. It was the only place I could talk to her without Kevin overhearing.
“I guess so. But the worst of it was he suggested I was coming onto him.” I hadn’t realized how pissed off I was until the words came out of my mouth.
She barked out a laugh. “That’s crazy. But why did I have to hear that you’re engaged from him?”
Scrubbing my face, I thought about it. Anna and I weren’t friends, yet. But I liked her. And I didn’t want to lie to her. “That’s because I’m not.”
Nodding her head, she said, “Quick thinking.”
On my way home, I hoped I hadn’t made a mistake and Anna would keep my confidence. She seemed like a trustworthy girl. We hadn’t talked much, but that was the nature of the job. It was spent in solitude even in the company of others as we verified mounds of information in order to complete our audit.
When I opened the door at home, I was happy to see Lizzy curled up on the sofa with a mug of coffee in her hand. The scent was unmistakable. “Have you got any more of that?” I asked.
“You know where to find it,” she said, giving me her best smile. But I could tell she wanted to talk to me as much as I wanted to talk to her.
Coat draped over a chair, messenger bag on the floor, I made a cup of steaming coffee and sat on Lizzy’s impossibly white sofa praying I wouldn’t spill a drop.
“So,” she said on an exhale of breath.
“So,” I said back. Somehow I knew this was about her brother and I wondered if she was mad at me for shutting him down.
“You and Matty talked,” she stated.
Nodding, I confirmed, “Yes, and I guess you knew all along.”
“Of course, I can’t believe you didn’t.”
“Why not, I had a crush on him for like ever,” I said.
“Yeah, I knew that too.”
When she went quiet, I finally said, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Waving an absent hand, she said, “Who wants to talk to another girl about how hot their brother is? I had enough of that in high school. And I figured the two of you would get together.”
“But Scott came along,” I added, continuing her thought.
“And, when I saw Scott, I thought for sure Matt would see how you picked a guy that looked almost like him.” She waited a beat before speaking to see if I’d deny it. Looking back, it was probably true. It wasn’t that I’d sought a replacement Matt since he’d preferred to sow his oats, his words. But when Scott came along, I might have looked for Matt in him. Matt may have been a quote unquote ladies man, but he wasn’t a bad guy. Girls didn’t walk away hating him. “And you like stayed with Scott even when I could tell you weren’t into him.”
Confession time. Lizzy was my very best friend. It was time I got this off my chest. “You know about how conservative my family is?” I asked. She nodded. She didn’t know all of it, but enough. There were just some things that had to remain secret. “My parents wouldn’t have approved when I started a sexual relationship with Scott.”
The first time had been a mistake. I was drunk and needy and Scott was there. “You had sex Bails,” she said in mock horror.
“I knew they would be ashamed of my behavior. Staying with him meant I wasn’t a slut. You know.” I wasn’t sure she’d understand, but I tried my best to explain.
“By dating him, you validated your decision to take the relationship further?” she asked, but it was more of a statement.
“Exactly,” I answered.
“Scott wasn’t your first though.”
This she knew. “No, Turner was.”
“He grew up with you, right?”
Sipping my coffee, which was starting to go lukewarm, I said, “Yes. And if our parents had found out, we would have been married on the spot.”
“You loved him, right?” she asked, drinking from her own mug.
“Yes, I think I’ll always love him in ways.”
“So what happened?”
This was a part of the story Lizzy had never pushed before. We were too busy talking about her failed relationships and my doomed one. “We were supposed to get married,” I began.
“Wait, I thought you said they didn’t know about the sex.”
“They didn’t. We were betrothed, I guess, for lack of a better word. And my mom told me to pursue my dream and go to college and not get stuck like her. Turner wasn’t willing to leave. His place was there. So I left.”
“Wow, where is he now?”
Her question seemed redundant. But I guess in her mind lots of time had passed and possibly things had changed. “He’s still there. The last time I visited home, he was dating someone else.”
“That was almost two years ago,” she exclaimed.
“Yes, and it hurt. I couldn’t go back after that.”
“I knew you didn’t love Scott. Being with him hadn’t changed your feelings.”
I shook my head. “I couldn’t go there and see Turner with someone else.”
“Well, I guess I don’t blame you. If I ever saw Mason again, I’m not sure what I’d do.”
Mason was Lizzy’s first love and first everything. “They stick with you.”
“So what about this new guy?” She set her mug down on the coffee table and folded herself in the chair, looking much like a pretzel.
“How do you do that?” I asked, getting off topic, but I couldn’t help myself.
“Lots of yoga and don’t dodge. What’s the guy’s name?” Her grey eyes looked wise but kind. And it was a relief to talk about this. With Matt, it had been nice, but with a best friend it would be great to get this off my chest.
“Kalen,” I said with a smile and a grimace. In all likelihood, I would never see him again.
“Kalen what?” she asked.
“Kalen Brinner,” I answered.
She looked thoughtful, like she was trying to put something together in her head. “He reminded me of someone, but that name doesn’t ring a bell. Go on, tell me what happened because I can see in your eyes, something did.”
“We had a fight.” I drank the rest of my coffee. I didn’t want to blame her for what happened, but I knew once I told her, she was going to feel really bad.
“He was the one with you that night. I’m sorry, Bails.”
“It’s okay. You couldn’t have guessed.”
“Matt told me he was going to talk to you. So I assumed you two came to your senses and were having excellent monkey sex.”
“Nope,” I said. Then I told her the story. All of it.
“Man, I’m jealous,” she said wistfully. Tossing a throw pillow at her, she giggled then sobered. “I know this was my fault, but I can’t help but say you can’t blame him.”
Groaning, I said, “I know. But it pisses me off that he didn’t even give me a chance to explain. He just judged me and walked out.” I looked up at the ceiling hoping I wouldn’t cry.
“Is this pride, or do you really like him?” she asked.
Thinking about it for a second, I said, “Both.”
Nodding, she added, “I think he’ll be back.”
And just like that, my phone chimed from inside my purse. Lizzy smirked like she was psychic, and said, “Speak of the devil.”
Walking over to get my ringing phone, I talked myself out of it being Kalen. He’d made his position clear. Instead, it was most likely Scott. He’d called me several times since I’d left him, sounding very drunk on voicemail, begging me to take him back. He had used someone else’s cell to get to me because I’d blocked his number.
Pulling out the phone, what I saw was Unknown Caller. “Hello,” I said when I accepted the call with a touch of the green button on the screen. Lizzy got up, gesturing that she would go to her room to give me privacy. But I waved her off and walked back towards my room. This was her place, after all. I wouldn’t inconvenience her and give her cause to want her solitude back.
“Lass,” a rough masculine voice said. He was breathing heavy and I wondered what exactly he was doing. Incidentally, I was also grateful he used the endearment lass and not sweetheart.
“Why is your number blocked?” I blurted. Nervous tension coursed through me at what potentially he was about to say. So I fell on my defensive technique with him, throwing out a question to keep him off balance.
“It’s always been that way,” he said, matter-of-factly. His sexy voice sounded more like a Highlander from some of my sexy historical romance novels than a real man.
Closing my door, I walked over to my bed and sat with the phone held up to my ear. His breathing was increasing and I heard muffled thumbing noises in the background. “Where are you?” I asked.
“In my gym,” he said. It did sound like he was working out. Then why was he calling me?
He didn’t sound drunk or seemed like the type. “What are you doing?” I asked, wondering why I was the one taking the lead on the conversation.
“Using a punching bag to try and forget about you,” he said.
Okay. I wanted to be pissed off by the comment, but his voice was like lava burning me inside and out. “Calling me certainly isn’t helping,” I tossed out.
“Just tell me one thing. Is this Matt guy your finance?”
“No,” I said, quickly staring up at the ceiling because I should possibly apologize but I found that I couldn’t. “And now that that’s cleared up, I’ll let you get back to working hard to forget me.”
My finger hovered over the end call button when he spoke. “I need to see you tonight.”
“No,” I asserted.
“Why not?” he retorted and several rapid thumping sounds came through the line. I could only imagine his body dripping with sweat as he circled a punching bag.
“Because it will only lead to sex and that seems like the only thing that keeps us coming together.” The word sex and his sexy brogue were doing a number on my underwear.
“I want to get to know you better,” he said.
Laughing, I leaned all the way back on my bed and covered my head with my forearm. “I doubt that. You already seem to have passed judgment over me. I’m surprised I’m not in your cast out pile.”
“Me too.”
“Goodnight, Kalen,” I said flatly in response to his thoughtless comment.
“Wait,” a pause. I should just hang up. “Let me take you out to dinner?”
Shaking my head even though he couldn’t see, I then said, “No.” And I ended the call. Not wanting to be tempted by answering if he called back, I put my phone on silent, not vibrate. I went back to the living room and noticed that Lizzy was gone and sighed. I cleaned my mug and got my stuff and headed back to my room. After a hot shower, I was able to close my eyes and fall asleep quickly.
A banging noise woke me and the time on my clock read one a.m. Fluttering my eyes, I tried to figure out if the noise was real or a remnant of my dream state. Hearing the banging again, I truly woke up only to hear Lizzy’s voice. I couldn’t make out what she said. But whatever it was, she’d said it loudly.
My door opened and light spilled into the room from the hall. “You can’t just barge in here,” Lizzy called. I turned over to face the door.
There he was, all six feet three or four of him. He wore jeans and a sweater that clung to his muscled chest. He was heaving in breaths and looking around like he expected to see something or someone else.
And that just pissed me off. Frowning, I said, “Why are you here?”
“Yes,” Lizzy added from behind him. I couldn’t see her. His massive form hid her presence. “Why are you here?” she added.
Promptly, he stepped in and closed the door in her face, stalking over to me. My breath hitched. My pulse raced. My body immediately came alive. “You don’t want me,” I weakly protested. It was one thing to make a stand over the phone. It was another to try that in his presence.
“Are you okay?” Lizzy called out through the door, cutting into our conversation.
“Yes,” I cried back, because even though he looked dangerous, I didn’t think he would hurt me. “It’s okay, Lizzy. Sorry about this.”
Grumbling loud enough that I could hear, she stomped back to her room and closed the door loudly. I sighed. She wasn’t mad at me, but this was my fault.
Standing between the window and my bed, my preferred side of sleeping, he changed my focus. All thoughts of Lizzy were gone. He stepped closer to me and took my hand, turning me towards the direction he stood. When he pressed my hand against his firm erection, my mouth went wide partly in protest at his forwardness and partly in desire. “My cock says otherwise,” he answered my ‘you don’t want me’ question as if Lizzy hadn’t interrupted.
Feeling the moisture grow between my legs, I snatched my hand away and managed to say, “It’s always about sex between us.”
“It’s not,” he said. But his next words seemed to disprove this. “I’ve had a hard-on since I heard your voice and it’s not going away. I can’t sleep. I can’t think except about being buried inside you. I have the worst fucking case of blue balls.”
“And I suppose you think that’s romantic?” I asked, looking up at him as I rolled on my side to prop up my head with my arm, fully awake.
“No, I’ll give you what’s romantic. Just agree to have dinner with me on Friday and I leave with my blue balls intact.”
“And if I don’t agree?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
His heated gaze was like Superman’s x-ray vision, it lasered to my core. “Then I’ll have to persuade you.”
“But if I agree, you’ll go?” I asked, confirming his terms.
“Yes,” he said with sincerity in his face.
All the talk about his rock hard dick had my eyes wondering downward. “You see something you like?” he asked cockily.
Flushing, I used my free hand to cover my face. There was just nowhere to look. Pulling my hand free from my face, his eyes were hot on mine. When he drew me up, I didn’t protest. I found myself sitting on the side of my bed staring directly at his very large erection.
“Unzip my pants,” he commanded.
Not lifting my head completely, I looked up at him with only my eyes, knowing my face was filled with contempt. “You show up, uninvited I might add, and now you order me around.”
His hand took a fist full of my hair and tugged back firmly but not roughly. A gasp escaped my parted lips. Then his other hand reached down to cup my breast, kneading my nipple. “There is no need to play games. We both know you want this as much as I do.”
Not wanting to be easy prey, I just stared at him. “If you don’t, I’ll leave,” he announced. And like that, his hands left my hair and my breast.
I was pleased and pissed at the same time. Pleased he’d gotten the message. Pissed because he was right, I wanted this. It was foolish of me to think I could ignore this man. Our chemistry spoke to each other on a molecular level. So maybe that was all we had. Why shouldn’t I enjoy this part of me? God only knew if another man would ever make me feel this way. At least we were honest about what we wanted. No games.
My hand made quick work of the fly of his jeans, realizing he was commando underneath. Pushing his pants down to his knees, I’d trapped him in a sense. With my legs on either side of him, I was also open to him in a way.
“Take me in that saucy mouth of yours.” His sexy brogue was the cherry on top of the sundae and I tasted him, fully aware that I was submitting to his will. When he groaned and again fisted a hand in my hair almost to the point of pain, I took him all the way to the back of my throat. I may have been inexperienced in terms of the number of men I’d slept with, but I wasn’t inexperienced with the act itself. Scott took pride in teaching me exactly what he wanted. But with him, it was a chore. I did it mostly when I was on my period and he’d complain about how much he needed to get off. And according to Scott logic, we were going to get married anyway. So how could it be wrong?
But this was different. I wanted this probably as much as Kalen did. I sucked his length up and down keeping the pressure of my lips firm but the inside of my mouth hollow enough so I wouldn’t graze him with my teeth unless, of course, I was doing it purposefully.
“Fuck,” he said, voice cracking. And hearing him begin to come apart and enjoy what I was doing made me feel powerful even though I’d given in to him. My own orgasm was building. Which was crazy because the only hand he had on me was in my hair at this point. I swirled my tongue on his cock while keeping my mouth around him. He guided my head with quicker strokes in and out of my mouth. I sucked, I hummed, I licked and sucked again. “Oh fuck, I’m going to come,” he murmured.
This was the moment of truth. With Scott, I’d always pulled away and used my hand to finish him off. But I wanted this. I wanted Kalen. I moaned around him and cupped his balls, stroking them lightly. A growl preceded his seed shooting down the back of my throat. I starred up at him as he pulsed inside my mouth. His eyes closed in rapture and I took in all his beauty.
Tenderly, he let go of my hair and placed his hand on my cheeks. Pulling back, he freed himself from the depths of my mouth. Kneeling down so that we were eye to eye, he kissed me. And I don’t mean lip to lip. No, he kissed me deep, no doubt tasting his seed in the process. Then he took my shoulders and guided me down to lay flat across my bed.
When my eyes widened, he said, “Now it’s my turn to feast on you.”
I had a moment to be thankful for the shower I’d taken before all reason left me when his mouth closed over my clit. My back arched and I knew it wouldn’t take much. I’d practically gotten off just by giving him head. He licked and sucked so expertly, I fisted the sheets and thrashed about. He nipped and fingered me in the most expert way. He found that spot inside me with his finger and rubbed at it while gently biting that small bundle of nerves. I screamed out his name as I came apart. For good measure, he inserted another finger in and out as I rode it all the way through the ecstasy into breathlessness.
My eyes were closed when he crawled up to kiss me, letting me taste myself. “You taste as good as you look.”
And before I passed out from sheer delight, he said, “Now about dinner Friday night.”
Nodding was all I could do. Whatever was going on between the two of us, there was no denying the incredible sex we shared. I wasn’t sure of the rest of it just yet. But damn it, I had to give this, us, a try.