“
Do you prefer hoe?” he teased, fingers still twisting in my hair.
I rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see. “You know what I mean.”
Nicholas was quiet for a moment. I could tell he was trying not to show I hurt him. This was going to be impossible.
“
Why?” His voice was now a whisper.
I continued to lay in his lap. I was too much of a coward to look him in the eye. “Because it means more to you than it should.”
“
But you don’t actually mind the word, just my thoughts attached to it?”
It was too early for thinking. I’d done enough already for the day. “I’m still waking up.” My mind went blank, loosing my train of thought. “Ehh, what?”
“
I like calling you honey.”
I yawned. “That’s the problem.”
“
You fell asleep before you could tell me about your dream Lil. What was it about?”
I noticed his attempt at changing the subject. But I didn’t feel like calling him on it. “It was nothing Nicholas.” He wouldn’t understand.
“
Something about a tunnel and cliff?” he pushed.
“
Something like that.”
“
Lilly.” He looked down at my face. Reluctantly I looked up.
“
Yes?”
“
I need details. I was banging on the bathroom door for a good five minutes before you answered me. Most people wake up pretty quick, so it must have been some dream.”
My eyes squinted and looked away as I tried to tell the bare minimum. “It was.”
He cupped my face in his big hand and gently turned it back to him. “About those details honey.”
I cringed as he said the word. Nicholas noticed my reaction and his face fell with sadness. Stupid me, I tried to distract him from my response and blurted out, “My dream was about Elliott. Now do you want to hear it?”
Stab. Stab.
Whoops.
My words were obviously hurting him. Nicholas tried not to show it.
“
Actually I would like to hear it. . .” I could tell he almost called me honey again.
I really didn’t want to tell him my dream, but I knew I would have to eventually. Nicholas and I didn’t have secrets. Apart from the fact that he has wanted me to be his girlfriend for who knows how long. But that was partially my fault too. I should really work on being more observant.
I gave a deep sigh, looked away, and began. “It was an awesome dream. I was in a dark tunnel that led to a cliff overlooking the sea. I was sitting on the edge of the rocks, looking out over the water when Elliott showed up.”
Nicholas’s body tightened and I looked up briefly to check on his face. He forced out a smile and said, “What happened then?” Being the coward I was, I turned my face away from his before continuing. He re-tangled his hands in my hair. He knew it calmed me down. I was starting to think it calmed him down, also.
“
Well, Elliott and I stood up on the cliff. . . then jumped.”
“
What!”
“
Chill out, it was only a dream.”
At least that’s what you think.
“
But you said it was a good dream. How can killing yourself be good?”
“
Who said anything about killing myself?”
“
Okay, what happened then?”
I bit my lip and tried to side-step that minefield. “We hit the water and then I woke up. I recall someone pounding on a door.” I could tell he sensed I was leaving something out.
“
Last night you mumbled something in your sleep.”
My eyes mimicked golf balls for a fraction of a second before I regained control over my face and voice. “Really?” I hedged. Elliott said I had projected. Maybe I was wrong, but it didn’t sound like your soul was in your body for sleep-talking.
Nicholas moved my face to his to see my reaction. “You actually
yelled
‘don’t open that!’”
“
I did?” The spider!
“
What didn’t you want opened?”
“
A chest.” That was a safe answer.
He pushed further. “Why didn’t you want it opened hoe?”
“
It was just a dream Nicholas. I don’t know.” I really didn’t.
His brown eyes were sizing up my answers. My stomach growled again. “How about we go downstairs and I’ll fix you breakfast? It’ll be a good opportunity for you to tell me about. . . Elliott.” I noticed how he had to choke out Elliott’s name.
“
You don’t want to hear about him,” I said as I got up and tried to comb my hair down. Somehow it always seemed to defy gravity in the morning.
“
Actually, I think I do.” Nicholas sounded solemn, though he appeared to mean what he said.
I stomped off towards the hall, down the stairs, and into the kitchen with Nicholas trailing along behind me. I plopped myself so dramatically into a chair at the table, I may have bruised my butt. Nicholas laughed at my theatrics and said, “spill.”
“
You said something about breakfast,” I said suggestively. Food did sound good.
“
I’ll cook eggs and toast, if you talk.”
“
Deal.” I tried to be cute and shrug my shoulders as I added, “ So, what did you want to talk about exactly?”
Nicholas rolled his eyes at me as he put some bread in the toaster. “Elliott. I want to know about Elliott.”
“
Anything in-particular?”
He thought about my question for a moment while he cracked eggs over the pan. “I’ll settle with. . . everything. For starters, you can tell me why you like him so much.”
I wasn’t very happy with the Spanish Inquisition, but then again, maybe Nicholas needed to hear about my feelings for Elliott. I could only hope it would help quiet his fire for me.
“
I don’t know. There’s something magnetic about him. The way he reacts when he sees me, and the way he touches me. I like it.”
I love it.
I looked over at Nicholas. There was sadness in his eyes. “You don’t want to hear this.”
“
Yeah, I do.”
“
Then you better watch those eggs,” I pointed out.
He flipped them over quickly. “Looks like breakfast is almost done.” He looked at me and added, “What else?”
“
Honestly, I don’t see what you want me to tell you?”
“
I don’t know either.” Nicholas was annoyed by the situation and it showed. He pulled a question out of the air. “Where does he live?”
“
Italy, I think. He speaks Italian.” And apparently so did I.
“
What do you mean ‘you think?’ You don’t know where he lives? And how can he if you keep seeing him? And what was all that stuff Charlotte said about him being imaginary?” The questions poured out, one after the other. I sat quiet until the onslaught slowed.
Stupid Charlotte. “Okay, I’ll tell you something if you promise not to freak out.”
“
Okay,” he hesitated.
“
And promise to take it to the grave.”
“
What is it Lilly?”
I looked him in the eyes. “Promise first. No one can know.”
“
Fine. I promise. I promise.” He dished up our breakfast and then took the seat beside me. “First, can I ask you something?”
“
Sure.”
“
Can I meet him?”
I knew Nicholas as well as he knew me. He wanted a peak at the competition. I smiled wryly. “Nope.”
“
Why not?”
“
First, because you just want to size him up, and you wouldn’t be nice.”
He grinned at my response. “And second?”
My eyes dropped and my face fell. “Because he can’t come back.”
Nicholas liked this way more than he should. I noticed he couldn’t help smiling as he asked, “Why not?”
“
He told me, but I don’t fully understand why.” Even I could hear my tear coated words. Reflex reaction, I started to blink. Nicholas quit smiling. He scooted his chair next to mine and gave me a hug.
Trying to sooth me, Nicholas said the wrong thing. “It’s probably for the best.”