Aussie: A Bad Boy Second Chance Romance (3 page)

It all came rushing back to me. I hadn’t seen her in ages. Well, not counting the other night. I recognized her immediately. Don’t ask me how. Maybe it was all those years we’d spent together, under the same roof in the same house. I mean, holy shit, she’d turned into a raging fox and wore her hair shorter now. No matter where I went or who I was with, I’d always recognize Dawn the moment I saw her.

I played dumb at the mall, almost afraid she’d realize it was me at the club. I could barely look her in the eye. My fingers had been inside her, and she hadn’t known it was me. Did she make it a habit to hook up with random strangers? Shit, I was better off not knowing.

Honestly, I spotted them as they came in the door. It had nothing to do with the mask. I’d just made my way back from the other side of the room when I saw her friends. I scanned her group, and there she was, gorgeous, so grown, and the girl I couldn’t take my eyes off of. I wasn’t sure if I should go over or not, and the next thing you know we’re pressed tightly together on the dance floor. Sure, I might have had an advantage, but she wasn’t asking my name at the time. It was better to turn and leave, savoring my moment of victory.

If she knew that was me, she would have said something. I know she would have. And if she found out it was me, she’d probably hate me for taking advantage of the situation without mentioning that important detail.

She asked if I wanted to get a bite to eat. I’d said no, claiming I had to get back to work. To be honest, I needed more time. It had nothing to do with that night, but more than anything a history that went way back. I was still processing seeing her again.

My father worked at her dad’s big tech company when it first got off the ground, and the money started to roll in. My dad had specialized skills that had her father seeking him out. I guess he offered him enough money, because I was a kid when we up and moved from Australia to the U.S.

I’d known Dawn casually, but not much more. On the way to work, my parents had just dropped me off at school, all of ten years old. They waved and told me to have a good day. ‘I love you,’ my mother called out. I didn’t bother to turn around and watch them leave. It was a daily routine. I kick myself thinking back, wishing I’d seen them one last time.

I was called into the nurse’s office, who then escorted me to the principal’s office. His words barely registered. I was too young. It was too overwhelming. I heard the words, but my young mind stumbled, trying to make sense of it. Shit. I was just a kid. My parents had died in a car crash on the way into work. I was alone in the world, just like that. Why the fuck didn’t I turn around one more time and say ‘I love you’ back? Just a kid. It was just another day, but it wasn’t. It forever changed my world.

With no relatives, no aunts or uncles in the world, and my grandparents no longer alive, I was left with few options. Sometimes, it’s still hard to believe so much time has passed.

I never expected Dawn’s family to take me in. They treated me as one of their own, gave me a place to stay. I was empty inside, but at least I wasn’t alone.

Her father took care of all of the details. I moved to Malibu into their big home. It was ritzy, nicer than where I’d been living before. But the walls held their memories and their pictures. My memories were stored in my head.

They took care of me, giving me everything I would want or need, and had always spoiled their daughter the same way. I could say it became a charmed life, but without my folks in the world, there was always a void inside of me.

In my teens, I’d become accustomed to the new life, and didn’t care about anything but myself. Well, that and the prized surfboards I’d been given. I got lost in the surf, could erase all of my memories, and treasured those boards. I couldn’t get enough of surfing. It became an outlet, the one thing I loved more than anything else. For a while, I could concentrate on the next wave and my mind would stop turning. I focused on the water, the sun, the sand, and the girls that hung out on the beach.

Dawn would walk on the edge of the ocean as it lapped up at her feet. She’d squat down and pick up some other little sea life that she’d discovered. She’d collect shells and small marine life, adding it to her saltwater aquarium back at the house. She’d sit staring at that tank, studying it for hours, lost in thought.

We got along well enough, but come my senior year, things spiraled out of control. There was no single event that started it, but rather a cumulative effect. I started finding trouble, had been suspended a few times, but when I was expelled, it was the last straw.

It was the drugs that did me in. First pot, then coke. I started surfing less and using the beach as a place to chase my high. The escape mesmerized me. I couldn’t stay away from it.

Dawn’s parents finally had enough and I spent my eighteenth birthday packing up and moving out of the house. I still remember the look on Dawn’s face. I glanced over my shoulder as I walked out the door, and there stood Dawn, eyes watery and plaintive. “Are you coming back?”

I hadn’t answered, just turned my head and left. I can still hear her shouting.

“Come back,” she pleaded.

My head was still spinning from running into Luke. I hadn’t seen him in ages. I tried to concentrate, but it was damn near impossible. Thankfully, my job wasn’t too taxing, because my focus was shot.

I wondered if he’d get in touch with me. The twinge in my belly was a harsh reminder of the dramatic way he’d left. I tempered my excitement at seeing him, with a realistic picture. I wanted to see him again, would be thrilled if he contacted me, but maybe he wasn’t as happy to run into me. He barely made eye contact. Maybe it was uncomfortable. Shit. I better not get my hopes up. I wanted like crazy for him to call, but truth be told, I knew there was a bigger chance he wouldn’t.

Maybe he was embarrassed or felt guilty. It was hard to read him. I hoped he remembered that I never took issue with him. All the drama, the problems, they were with my parents. Yet, how could I expect him to carve out a special place for me, when we lived in the same house. It probably jumbled all together in his mind. I hated the way he left. Hated to see him go, and still, understood my father’s reaction.

Once he was gone, the hardest part was that my father wouldn’t even mention his name. He felt betrayed after taking Luke in. I wasn’t allowed to talk about him, and he’d going into this massive lecture about how Luke had brought drugs into his house, and how I could have gotten involved, and the trouble it caused. I got it. I did. But, I missed the hell out of Luke, and seeing him today brought back so many memories.

After coming back from college, I moved back in with my parents. It’s not like they didn’t have tons of space, and my mom begged me to stay there for a while. Money wise, it worked out. Not like I’d landed my dream job, and it afforded me the ability to take my time.

When I got home after work, I wanted to blurt out that I’d seen him. That Luke was back in town. I knew better, and held my tongue. He looked so good, his eyes were clear, that had to mean something. He was taking care of himself. It didn’t matter. I knew my father had cut him out of his life, and me bringing him up would only open an old wound.

A week passed and I still hadn’t heard from Luke. I ached to get a message, a text, a call…anything. Two weeks passed, then three. Honestly, it pissed me off. Why was he cutting me off? What had I done? Was I being punished for a crime I didn’t commit?

Life went on. I gave up hoping he’d call. He’d obviously made his choice.

***

I went out with Scott one night, we were going to catch a movie and grab a bite to eat. I didn’t mean to be quieter than usual, but he picked up on it.

“What’s going on? You seem off. Is something the matter?” he asked.

I shrugged, then brushed it off. “Long day at work, I guess.”

He dropped it for the time being, but seemed annoyed that I didn’t go into detail. The rest of the night was…fine. That’s the thing, it was always fine. Just fine. Nothing more, nothing less.

Scott was a good guy. There was nothing wrong with him. Hell, he was smart, driven, focused on getting ahead and treated me well. I just didn’t have the connection with him that I needed. Our chemistry fizzled years ago. Something was missing. Great boyfriend material, and yet not a boyfriend that filled me with passion. At times, he felt more like a brother than a potential mate. I think he knew. The worst part was my parents wanted us to end up together more than either of us did. Breaking the news to them that I was done trying was going to be rougher on them, than on Scott.

Being with Scott was easy. Too easy. There were times when I wanted to grab him by his shirt, shake him, and say, “Challenge me! Convince me to try something I’ve never tried before! Tell me I’m wrong about something!”

You know: passion, intensity. We lacked any kind of fire between us, including in bed. There wasn’t even a spark, never mind a fire.

I felt stuck, caged, confined.

And now Luke appeared in my life again, breathing new excitement into my existence. It had now been a couple of weeks, and I still couldn’t stop thinking about it. And yet, there was still no word from him.

All I had left were memories…

Looking back, I remembered one specific incident. I was probably around twelve, something like seventh grade, and I was being picked on. Some bully was making fun of my glasses and teasing me. Luke would have none of it. He moved up to my seat from the back of the bus and sat beside me. The guy saw him there and never bothered me again. Luke made it clear he’d make things a problem if the kid messed with me anymore.

Oh yeah, and then there was the time we were goofing off at home. We started playing volleyball over the sofa, and I got a little over enthusiastic. Next thing you know, the ball smashed into one of my mom’s antique mirrors. When it shattered all over, Luke refused to let me take the blame. He said it was his fault. When I tried to thank him for covering for me, he wouldn’t hear of it.

And that other time when he insisted I watch this movie he really liked. I kept putting him off, telling him I had too much homework. I smiled thinking back. He convinced me that he’d do my homework while I watched the movie. He was always so sweet to me.

Even keeping me from getting into trouble, he always looked out for me. This one time I saw him smoking, and I asked if I could try it. I begged him to let me take a drag on his cigarette, but he refused, saying it wasn’t good for me. Hell, I only wanted to do it because he was, and I looked up to him. I adored Luke.

If somebody was being mean or rude to me, he’d stop them in their tracks. When I’d go to the beach, collecting and studying marine life, sometimes his surfer friends would mock me and call me a nerd. He’d have none of it. I was no more than thirteen or fourteen at the time. By the time I’d turned sixteen, he’d kept his friends away from me for other reasons. I’d developed and he knew they’d just use me. He was my protector, quietly watching over me.

We used to lie on his bed and watch movies at night, but once we got a little older, that stopped. Instead of me, now he was sneaking girls into his room. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous. Of course I was. He’d always had plenty of attention for me, and now suddenly his interest was in these other girls.

While I was quieter and less popular, Luke was confident, almost cocky. Though, he didn’t come off as arrogant. He was a nice guy; he just wouldn’t let you fuck with him. He held his own ground. Ha, when we were seniors, he didn’t “ask” a girl to prom, he simply told her she should go with him. Sure enough, she did. They ended up at a punk club. He had his own way of doing things.

He tried to get me to stand up for myself. Tried to get me to be more outgoing, but I didn’t have the same confidence he did. I’d always been quieter, keeping more to myself. I mean, I had friends, but I certainly wasn’t a popular kid at the time.

“What have you got to lose?” he’d ask. The popular mantra that he pushed on me in a positive way, while using it negatively on himself at times.

He was the guy every other guy wanted to be. He was the guy that every girl wanted to be with. Only in his final year in school, that all changed. Everything changed. It would never be the same again.

When he was gone, it shattered me. He was the one I looked up to, admired, and wanted to be like. He fell apart. Life fell apart. I crumbled when he left. It took until my sophomore year in college to finally move forward. He was gone. Accept it or not, it was reality.

All my memories of Luke swirled through my brain – both the good and bad. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Why hadn’t he called? Shit. What did I have to lose? I could call
him
. I
should
call him.

I’d finally saved up enough to move out of Brian’s place. After searching around, I found a small apartment on the outskirts of Santa Monica. I had just enough money to get a few things, the basics, but I was starting from scratch.

My ex friends with benefits psycho, Megan, was trying to track me down. I told Brian not to tell her where I moved to. She wasn’t taking the hint. Thankfully, he had my back and told her he didn’t know.

Although I was close to the beach, I still hadn’t made time to head down there. Hopefully, soon. I’d taken a big step toward getting my life in order. I was proud to finally get a place of my own, and avoiding Megan would be an extra bonus. She was looking for money, drugs, whatever, and I wanted no part of it. She’d leave message after message, but I ignored them.

She must have used somebody else’s phone, because her name wasn’t on the caller ID when I picked up.

“Where are you, Luke? I’ve been trying to reach you,” she whined.

“I moved.”

“What do you mean moved?”

“I left. And stop calling, okay? This thing we had, it’s done. It’s been done, but you don’t seem to be taking the hint.”

She huffed into the phone. “You’re an asshole. Whatever…”

I clicked off the phone, not wanting to hear anymore. She’d get it eventually.

Only she didn’t. She called me back. Fuck. It wasn’t worth it. I’d get a new phone number and finally be rid of her.

After making the change, I breathed a sigh of relief. I should have changed it sooner, but hadn’t thought of it.

I sat to have a bowl of cereal and scroll through my contacts. I wasn’t giving my new number out to everybody. Hell, it would be a good time to sort through my outdated list. When I came upon Dawn’s number I stopped.

Three or four weeks had passed since I’d seen her. She called me a few days ago, but I let it go to voicemail, then deleted the message. When I didn’t answer, she called again and left another message. Then the texts started. She was worried about me.

She started pleading in the messages.

“Just tell me you’re okay, then I’ll leave you alone.”

“I really want to see you, but won’t push it.”

“Are you okay? Please answer me.”

Yeah, so I was being a dick about the entire thing, ignoring her messages. Was I being an asshole? Probably. Honestly, with all the upheaval lately, moving, starting over, I wasn’t even sure what I wanted. If I saw her again, it could dredge up stuff I wasn’t looking forward to facing. Our past was dotted with too much history. Yet, I wasn’t sure I could just cut and run again, now that I’d seen her.

Sure, I was curious to spend more time with her, wondering if we’d have a natural connection like before, or had the past broken the ties that bound us together in the past. The emotional risk was heavy on both ends.

One of the biggest risks was my heart. I’ll admit it, I was crazy about the girl. Dawn was smart, funny, and hot. She held my interest, had physically grown into an insanely sexy woman, and I admired how much her education meant to her. She was the one I wanted, but the one I never tried to get. Man, the urge to take her, make her my own, pull her into my arms…I fought that urge with everything inside of me.

I had my reasons. Damn good ones, too. And I knew if I spent any time around her, those reasons would be tested. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. She didn’t know it was me at the club. Didn’t know I was the one who’d taken advantage of the situation. If she knew…I’m not sure she’d forgive me. She never saw me the way that I saw her. I felt like a jerk for pretending I was a stranger.

I mean, sure I could keep it to myself. Omit that piece of information, but if I spent any time around her, she’d know something was bothering me. It was always like that. She could read me, know when I was holding back.

I couldn’t ignore her forever. I knew I needed to send her a message back. I wanted to let her know I’d changed my number and it
wasn’t
because of her.

The next morning, I sent a quick text.

It’s Luke. I changed my number. Long story, but wanted you to have it.

It was early, just before 8 a.m., and I had no idea if she was up, but then her text came through.
Thanks for letting me know! I was worried about you. Everything okay?

I paused, then answered.
Yeah, I’m fine. I was kidnapped by aliens but now I’m back. No big deal.

She wrote back.
Shut up. What are you up to?

I wish I had something more interesting to say, but I stuck with the basics
. Finishing some breakfast, then off to work.

She quickly answered.
Let me guess…Raisin Bran?

Of all things, she remembered my favorite cereal. I shot back a fast response.
I’m a loyal guy.

I was trying to be witty with that response, but the second I hit send I realized that I’d have a pretty hard time defending that statement. I hadn’t been loyal to her. I’d left and had been out of touch for seven years.

A minute passed, then another. Nothing. Shit. That last comment…

I made my way to the bathroom and turned on the water, getting ready for a shower. As I started to undress, my phone blipped.

I’d really love to see you,
she wrote.

I drew a deep breath. Okay. I can do this. It was time to put my concerns away and just go see her. I hesitated before replying.

It was time to push aside my concerns and do this.

Sure, let’s get together. What’s your schedule like?

I turned to get a towel out of the closet. When the phone rang, I glanced at the ID, but I knew who it was. Dawn’s name flashed across the screen. As soon as I picked it up, she was talking. Her voice, it still melts me…freaking drives me wild.

“I hope it’s okay I called. I thought it might be easier to make plans. Should I have just texted? I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pressure you,” she started.

Plans. She wanted to make plans. I knew those plans would include me having to tell her the truth. I saw her before our run in at the mall. I held her. I pulled her aside, slid my hand up her skirt and into her panties. Shit. I was a coward, running away that night, just like the past. I left, and didn’t say a word. I couldn’t pretend it didn’t happen. I had to tell her the truth and clear my conscience.

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m pretty flexible,” I said. The mirror was steaming up, but I could still see my lying eyes. She would hate me. Fuck.

“How about tonight?” she asked.

“Yeah, sure. I get off around four,” I said.

She laughed. “Wow, that works out perfectly. I get off around then too. Hey, know what I was thinking about last week? Remember all those times we used to make home-made pizza?”

“Good times,” I said, non-committal.

Her mother used to buy all these toppings and make an assembly line of bowls down the counter. Then she’d get those pre-made crusts and we’d all make our own version of the perfect pizza.

“I still have the pizza stone,” she said before I could suggest a place. “Oh, wait. I didn’t even think about it. Are you okay coming to the house?”

“You still live there?” I froze up, not expecting her answer.

She sheepishly explained that she moved back in after college. “The job market was crap, and I figured I could save money for a place.”

It surprised me more than anything. Her folks were loaded. I was surprised they didn’t put her up, or hell, even buy her a house. They could afford it.

She continued. “And my parents are out of town for a few days, so you don’t have to worry about seeing them.”

Shit. I needed to confront my past anyway. That was part of the reason I was back. “Yeah, sure, it’s fine. What time do you want me there?”

***

Just past 6 pm I pulled into the drive. How long had it been? Shit, I knew exactly how long. Sitting in the drive, I stared at the house. Each step took me closer to my old memories.

I could still see her father on the front porch, as if he was guarding his castle, chasing me out of town. He wanted to make sure I left, and wouldn’t budge until I was gone from their lives. The shouting…hell, the argument almost went into a fist fight. I’ll admit it, I took a swing at him. I wanted to punch him in the face, tell him to fuck off, but my swing didn’t land where I’d hoped, as he seemed to see it coming. I barely knocked the edge of his jaw. He was fucking degrading me, destroying my character.

I wanted to, so help me God, I wanted to tackle the bastard and pummel him. I’d lost control, but seeing Dawn standing on the porch beside him…crying, begging me not to leave…I restrained myself after that one sucker punch and turned away.

Years had passed. Things had changed. I drew a deep breath and got out of my car. I walked to the front door, but before I could knock, Dawn opened the door.

She reached out to hug me.

She had to know about the club. I had to tell her. If it didn’t come out now, I’d never say anything, and that was yet another betrayal to a girl that didn’t deserve it.