Avoiding Commitment (27 page)

Lexi and Jack were alone. They both realized
that this was the first time since this morning at his apartment
that they had been completely alone. Sure anyone could walk outside
and find them together, but that didn’t matter. The electricity
coming from their nearness was intense.

She couldn’t remember the last time she had
allowed herself to drink this much around Jack. Before, if she knew
there was even a possibility that they might end up alone together,
she wouldn’t touch the stuff. But she hadn’t anticipated this
moment. She knew she wasn’t thinking clearly even as she walked
towards him.

“What were you doing?” Jack asked his earlier
anger resurfacing. He had drank a few too many beers himself, but
not enough to get him past the tipsy stage.

“What are you talking about?” she asked
taking another step closer.

“You were
kissing
Bekah’s brother!” he
exclaimed unable to control his fury.

“If you already
knew
what I was doing,
then why did you have to ask?” she questioned him, her voice laced
with sugar-coated inflections.

“How could you do that?”

She stopped her progression. Why was he being
like this? God, she was so fed up with him being so goddamn
demanding all the time. He didn’t
own
her by any means. He
couldn’t decide who she could see, and who she could kiss. He had
no rights, no claim on her…not anymore. “You want to know?” she
asked returning his fury.

“Yes, I want to know how you could go and
kiss him knowing that I’m here. Knowing what you…mean to me.”

“What I mean to you?” she asked in disbelief.
He nodded. “I don’t care if she hears,” she spoke the words
softly.

“What?”

“I heard you at Bekah’s house. You told her
that you didn’t care if I heard you with her.”

“Lex, I didn’t mean it,” he said once he
realized his mistake.

“I don’t believe you.”

“I told her that I didn’t mean it. Did you
hear that?”

“Yes, I heard it.”

“And you still don’t believe me.”

“No, I don’t believe you Jack.”

“But why? I’d never want to hurt you again
Lex.”

She shook her head furiously. “Don’t say
those things to me. It’s just wrong. You can’t
ever
say
those things to me again, Jack Howard!”

“Lex, please, listen to me. I swear to you
that I didn’t mean it. I shouldn’t have said it, but I did not mean
it.”

“It doesn’t matter. You don’t care about me
Jack. I’m not sure if you ever did.” Once the words were out she
couldn’t get them back. She wasn’t really sure if she wanted them
back though. She wondered sometimes if he really did ever care
about her. Her intoxicated mind told her she was being ridiculous,
but she couldn’t stop herself. “If you had cared, you wouldn’t have
left New York,” she cried spitefully.

“Lex…”

“So don’t tell me what I can do like you
always have. Don’t tell me that I can’t kiss whoever I want. Don’t
tell me that I can’t do what I want.”

He stared at her with his mouth agape. When
had she turned so cynical? How could she ever believe that he
didn’t care for her? Sure things hadn’t always been peachy, and he
had said and done things he wasn’t proud of, but he had always
cared. Always.

But he didn’t say any of those things.

“How much have you had to drink?” he asked,
his eyes hardening again at her accusations.

“Don’t you dare try and blame this on the
alcohol.”

“How can I not? Look at yourself,” he
commanded her, openly surveying her flustered appearance. “You look
like a two cent hooker flushed after securing a sugar daddy for the
night,” he stated cruelly. She had struck a nerve too close to
home, and he couldn’t control his retaliation. If she thought he
didn’t care, well then he would show her what that was really
like.

It was Lexi’s turn to have her mouth drop
open. He couldn’t mean that. After all, it was his stupid
girlfriend that made her wear this outfit. And sure she was
flushed, but it certainly wasn’t from Ramsey! August in Atlanta
wasn’t exactly breezy, to say the least. The environment was
blazing hot and downright sticky from the off the charts humidity
ratings.

But Jack wasn’t finished. “Are you so easy,
Lexi, that you’d rather stay here with someone you don’t even know?
Someone who is already taking advantage of your drunken state?”

Her mind couldn’t even begin to process the
nasty remarks Jack was sending her way. Had he really just called
her easy? Just accused her of
using
Ramsey for his money?
Was he on crack?

“Why are you being such an ass?” she muttered
between clenched teeth.

“I’m just being honest. Anyone else who would
have stepped through that doorway would have seen the same thing. I
just want you to know that.”

Despite the falsity behind Jack’s statements,
her emotions were beginning to get the best of her again. Jack
kissing Bekah. Jack dancing intimately with Bekah. Jack fondling
Bekah. And now he was accusing
her
of doing things…while he
claimed that he cared for her. It’s not like he had exactly made
that clear. Why was he playing these games? Tears began to well in
her eyes, and she rushed to brush them away. Why was she even
crying over him? He was only saying these things to get a reaction
out of her. She knew that. But she just couldn’t stop it.

“Why don’t you…just…leave?” she asked between
hiccups.

“Why don’t you come with me?” he countered
making it sound like another demand. He took the last step towards
her and placed her elbow in his hand.

She shook her head trying to get out of his
grip. “Why would I want...to be...with you?”

“Can’t you see that I’m looking out for you?
You know nothing about Ramsey,” he said trying to reason with her
even though he was grasping for excuses to get her away. “He’s not
exactly a nice guy.”

“Neither are you!”

“You know me Lexi. You don’t know him. You
don’t know what he can be like. I know how he is with women, and I
know the type of women he associates with. You’re better than all
of them combined, but if you keep throwing yourself around like
them, he’s going to treat you the same way. So stop being so
stubborn, and let’s get the fuck out of here.”

“No! God, you’re blaming me for drinking too
much? I can’t believe what just came out of your mouth.”

“I wasn’t kissing some random guy.”

“Now that would be a sight.”

“You know what I mean. You were the one
making out with a guy you just met when you know absolutely nothing
about him. What’s gotten into you, Lexi?”

“What’s gotten into
me
? You’re the one
practically getting a blow job in the living room. So don’t come
here on your high horse and try and bring me down for kissing
someone. Last I checked, I could kiss whoever the fuck I want,
because unlike some people I’m not attached. Not that it seems to
stop you,” she snarled crossing her arms over her chest.

“Oh we’re back here again,” he huffed.
“Haven’t we covered the topic about things being different?” As the
words came out of his mouth, he couldn’t help but let his eyes
crawl her body. She was so angry right now, and coupled with her
dangerously revealing outfit she looked amazing. He hadn’t meant to
say such harsh things to her, but it’s like she hadn’t ever
listened to a word he said to her. It’s not like he was about to go
and kiss her now…even if he wanted to. He remembered the last time
her lips had been on his and it sent shocks through his body. He
knew he could kiss her. He had always known that fact…taken
advantage of her desire for him just like he had claimed Ramsey
had. But still he wanted to think things were different.

“Right…things are sooo different now.
Just…leave me alone, Jack.”

“Okay,” he began stepping into her personal
space and forcing her to look up at him. “So maybe things aren’t
completely different, but they have changed. So let’s just get out
of here. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

He had moved his hand up so that it was
cupping her cheek. Her watery brown eyes were looking up at him.
How many times had she been in this similar position before? She
couldn’t even think about that right now. She was fighting off the
alcohol induced hormones running rampant throughout her body. He
shouldn’t have talked about kissing her and then touched her the
way he was doing. That just wasn’t fair.

“It’s too late for that,” she whispered
stepping away from his comforting touch. “You’ve done more damage
than anyone else.”

“Lex, come on. Stop talking like that. Let’s
just go.”

The door swung back open revealing Bekah and
Ramsey. Lexi quickly turned around to face away from the door and
forcefully brushed away the tears that had seeped out of her eyes.
She didn’t need them seeing her this way. It was bad enough that
Ramsey had almost seen her cry. She could do without Bekah having
that advantage over her as well. Not to mention she had no idea
what she looked like. Jack completely threw her emotions around.
One minute she was on fire. The next she was near tears. Back and
forth. She knew one thing though. She couldn’t be around him right
now. It would surely end in disaster.

“Jack, let’s get out of here,” Bekah said
pulling him backwards away from Lexi.

She didn’t exactly look pleased. Bekah shot
Ramsey a disdainful look as she yanked on Jack’s arm. Ramsey just
smiled that perfect Country Club smile. Apparently, he had won out
in the end.

“Lex, are you sure you’re not coming?” Jack
pleaded one last time.

“No, Ramsey’s going to get her a hotel,”
Bekah told him practically dragging him away.

“Oh.” He quickly composed himself. “I’ll see
you. Later,” he said tilting his head at Ramsey after giving Lexi
one last look and exiting with Bekah.

Lexi breathed out not having even realized
she had been holding her breath. How had she let herself deal with
his behavior for so long? She had such strong feelings for him and
yet all they could seem to do was argue. God, it was so typical of
him. She didn’t know what to do. Her head was killing her already.
She didn’t even want to imagine her hangover tomorrow.

Luckily, Ramsey didn’t seem to try to push
his advantage. And when he glanced at her, he didn’t ask all of the
nagging questions he was dying to get answers for. Bekah had been
just as secretive about the whole situation. Confirming, at least,
that in some strange way, she was involved. His little sister had
actually told him to just back off from the situation and Lexi.
Though he could tell she was less vehemently concerned about the
second demand…and more so with covering her ass.

Lexi wasn’t sure if she was going to be able
to keep up pretenses if Ramsey wanted to talk about what had
happened. She certainly wasn’t ready to spill her beans as she had
proven when she had spoken with Bekah. There was no way she’d be
able to talk to Ramsey. She was grateful when he smoothly requested
her presence on the dance floor. As emotionally drained as she
felt, that definitely sounded like a better option than thinking
about Jack anymore. Which is exactly what she did…she stopped
thinking about Jack and indulged a little bit more in the wonderful
quantities of alcohol Ramsey was providing.

*****

The next morning Lexi could feel her head
splitting open. She couldn’t even open her eyes. If she opened her
eyes, she was certain the pain would be unbearable. She couldn’t
even think of anything besides the pain. What could she last
remember about the previous night?

She had kissed Ramsey. Yeah, that was pretty
clear. And the nasty things that Jack had spat at her were still
relatively clear in her mind. Though they didn’t sting quite as
much now that she was sober and had other much more physically
painful things to deal with. Then her and Ramsey had danced and
danced and danced. She didn’t even know how long they had danced.
From there things just sort of went fuzzy. Had she blacked out? She
was pretty sure she hadn’t blacked out since her twenty-first
birthday, and the next morning twenty-one slash marks in black
permanent marker were on her wrist letting her know how much she
had drank way too much. No way had she had that much last
night.

Reluctantly, she blearily opened her eyes and
found herself in a strangely meticulous bedroom. A very foreign
bedroom. Definitely not a hotel room. Shit! This was not good.
Hadn’t Bekah said that Ramsey was going to check her into a hotel
room? Not that it would have looked very good for him to check her
into a hotel room in her condition. Don’t hotels frown upon that?
God, she had no idea. She’d never gotten herself into this
situation before.

She didn’t want to face the truth. Maybe Jack
had been right. She knew nothing about Ramsey other than that he
came from money and was related to Jack’s girlfriend. If Jack
couldn’t even vouch for him, maybe he
wasn’t
such a good guy
after all.

She peered under the huge white down
comforter and silky blue sheets to find that she was clothed in a
pair of red plaid boxers and a white undershirt that was at least
three times too big. Yeah, not even close to what she had been
wearing last night. She rubbed her eyes vigorously hoping that
maybe something else would come to her. Anything else. But she
simply didn’t remember what had happened or how she had ended up
here in this strange place in some guy’s oversized clothes.

Even before she lifted her head off of the
enormous feather pillow, she knew it was a mistake. Spasms of pain
shot throughout her entire body sending her sprawling back against
the bed. The pain was all-consuming and instantly made her feel
nauseous. If she had thought she had wanted to throw up last night,
it was nothing compared to the desire she was having right now. But
realizing she was in a strange person’s bedroom with no clue as to
where a bathroom was, she lay back down and took several calming
breaths before attempting to stand up again. Steadying herself on
the dark wood footboard, she took a swift analysis of her
surroundings. The room was plain, but she could tell that the
furniture was high quality. A Macbook Pro sat unopened on the desk,
but there were no cluttered stacks of papers or half full glasses
like at her apartment. The walls were blank giving off a guest
bedroom vibe, but something about the space convinced her
otherwise. She couldn’t put her finger on it. Then she glanced back
at the bed. There weren’t any throw pillows on the bed. She had
noticed over the years that guest bedrooms always had useless throw
pillows that most people neglected to place on beds they frequently
slept on.