Awaken (18 page)

“What about the rest of the group?”

“Riley’s really good with electronics. He can fix anything – cars, computers – I’ve seen him fix a public ZipShuttle that broke down and left some people stranded. In his spare time he flies planes.”

“Oh,” I said, like these were common hobbies for a teenager.

“It’s crazy, these guys all have some sort of superhuman power. Pat’s kind of like Justin. More hands-on. Fearless. Really good at being the gopher. When he was sixteen he set a record for the most interceptions in one year.”

“I can’t believe I’ve never found you guys, even before my sites were blocked. Believe me, I’ve been looking.”

Clare smiled. “You can’t find us. That’s the point. We’re impossible to trace.”

“What do you mean?”

“Simple. We don’t exist.”

I stared back at her and waited for her to continue.

“There’s no name that defines us. We don’t have a fan site, believe me, we’d all get arrested if we drew attention to ourselves. We’re connected with people all over the country,” she said, “but the best way to keep secret is to stay invisible. It’s a lot harder to find something that doesn’t exist in the first place.”

“Then how do you gain supporters?”

Clare shrugged. “We seek people out that we’re confident will join our side. No one seeks us out. It’s the safest way to move forward. We don’t keep digital records.”

Her eyes were serious, which for Clare was a rare sight. It made me tune out all the noise and movement around me. “Most of what we do just depends on trust and faith. I only see Justin once every few months. He fills us in on what’s happening. What’s to come. And we all support and trust each other. We believe in the process. It hasn’t failed us yet.”

Clare coughed on another sip of her drink and I offered to get us some water. I wandered over to the bar and noticed, for the first time I could ever recall, men watching me as I crossed the room. I observed, self-consciously, that some of their looks lingered and traced me up and down.

I set my hands on the smooth bar and ordered two waters. While I waited I observed groups of people dancing. I scanned the crowded room and stopped when my eyes met a familiar glance. My stomach twisted into knots.

Justin sat in the back corner of the room, at a booth with Spencer and Ray. He gave me a slow nod but his eyes were cautious. I instantly felt the energy in the room shift as if the lights dimmed or an air current changed direction. He was wearing a short-sleeved shirt that showed off his long, toned arms and his hair was a mess, as usual, tousled and shining and perfect. Of course he had to show up the one night I decided to go out and look effortlessly beautiful, just when I was trying to get over him.

I quickly looked away, grabbed my drinks, and headed back to the booth where I could avoid his eyes.

Clare looked at my frazzled expression.

“What’s wrong?”

“Justin’s here.”

She nodded. “I know.” She looked at my wide eyes. “Oh, you didn’t know?”

“Of course not,” I said, and ducked my head low like I was trying to hide.

“I thought you knew he was in town.”

I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair.

“He’s been here the whole time. I thought you saw him.”

“I didn’t.”

“Well, it’s no big deal. He’s not going to come over here. He can sense when people don’t want to talk to him.”

I chewed my nails anxiously. “I know, it’s just that his presence is a little – ”

“Noticeable?”

I sighed. “Suffocating.”

I took a long drink of water and waited for my heart to settle down. I tried to distract myself by asking Clare about her ideas for face-to-face school, and when Noah’s band took a break he came over to sit with us. He was exactly the diversion I needed. Noah kept us entertained with traveling stories from playing gigs on the road. His stare didn’t consume me like Justin’s did and for the moment, I really needed that. After a twenty-minute break, Noah got up to join the band for its second set. They started off with a fast beat and Clare pulled me to the dance floor. We wove through the crowd until we were in the middle of the pack. A young guy, about my age, danced his way next to us with a friend at his side. He was a little taller than me and wore a blue button-down shirt that matched his eyes.

“Mike,” he yelled over the music to introduce himself.

“Madeline,” I yelled back.

He had beads of sweat on his forehead from dancing and his hair was dark and wavy. He looked like a business type, with his collared shirt buttoned all the way to the top and tucked into khaki dress pants.

“Is that your boyfriend?” he asked, nodding in Noah’s direction. I laughed and shook my head.

“No, I just met him tonight.”

“Oh,” he said, “good to know.” Mike danced closer to me, and his friend, who introduced himself as Chris, inched next to Clare. After dancing for a few songs and feeling sweat roll down my back, I told Mike I needed something to drink. We picked our way through the crowd and I found a stool at the bar. I gulped down another glass of water while Mike slammed a shot of tequila. He offered me one but the smell coming off his breath alone was enough to make my stomach queasy.

“No thanks,” I said. Mike took another shot and his face was flushed pink around his cheeks and his words slurred as he told me about his computer accounting job. When Mike reached his hand out and started playing with the ends of my hair, I stood up.

“I should probably find Clare,” I said, and he followed me into the crowd like he was attached by a leash. I sighed, clueless on how to get rid of him. He knew I was single and the bar was one giant room. It’s not like I could escape. We dug our way through the packed dance floor. I raised my chin to look over the crowd and frowned to see Clare sitting at a table with Chris, engrossed in conversation. I turned around in the middle of the dance floor to find Mike standing behind me. He extended his hand to me and lifted his eyebrows. I tentatively offered him my arm and he grabbed it and pulled me against him. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and I leaned away.

“I need some space,” I yelled over the music. I smiled to try and ease the rejection. I didn’t mind dancing next to Mike, but in his arms was another story.

He looked at me with a frown.

“It’s really hot,” I said, and fanned myself with my hand. You’re also drunk and you smell like a liquor bottle, I wanted to add.

Mike took a step back but he kept his hands firmly on my waist. “What, I offer to buy you a drink and you won’t even dance with me?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I didn’t take your drink. Besides, it doesn’t entitle you to grope me.” I pushed his hands off my waist.

“I’m not groping you. It’s called dancing. Let me show you.”

He grabbed me again, pulling one hand tightly around my waist and bringing his face within inches of mine.

I glared at him and twisted my lips together. I glanced over at the table again but Clare was oblivious. Great, I thought, she’ll never stop talking. Mike ran his hand up my waist and I reached down to cut him off while I balled my other hand into a fist. Obviously, this guy wasn’t taking the hint.

Suddenly, I felt a tall presence standing next to me. Mike looked up at Justin and froze.

“I don’t think you’re getting the hint,” Justin said, staring Mike down with dark eyes that stated there was no room to argue.

I looked back at Mike and felt his hands loosen around me.

“I’m cutting in,” Justin stated.

“Why don’t we let her decide that?” he retorted, but his voice sounded unsteady.

It didn’t take me a second to make up my mind as I uncoiled myself from Mike’s grasp. He snickered and shoved his way through the crowd. I watched him disappear just as the song playing came to an end. The crowd turned to clap and I glanced at Justin. His eyes were on the band but they were angry and his body was tense. The band transitioned into the next song, which had a slow beat.

Couples paired up around us, gathering close in each other’s arms. The singer belted out low, sultry lyrics that I recognized from an old classic:
You’d better please hear my cry, and let your arrow fly.
I turned to face Justin and couldn’t help but grin. He knew what he got himself into. People around us melted against each other and I waited for him to make a move. He looked over at me. He didn’t have to ask what I wanted. I stood my ground stubbornly and he knew.

He let out a deep breath of defeat and took a step closer to me. He slid one arm slowly around my waist and with his free hand he hesitated. His eyes warned me not to read too much into this. He placed his other hand over mine and interlocked our fingers.

He took another step closer to me. I had to consciously remind myself to move my feet to the music. I stared at his eyes, drinking them in. They were closer to me than ever before and so dark I could see shades of light reflecting off of them.

The music simmered the air around us.
You’d better draw back your bow, and let your arrow flow.
I lightly pressed my fingers against his hand like I was memorizing the feeling of skin, as if this was the first and last time we’d ever touch. It was difficult to move my legs with so many waves of electricity shooting through my body with both of his hands on me. It was my greatest fantasy coming to life, except that my dance partner looked slightly less enthused.

Justin wouldn’t meet my gaze. He looked over my shoulder or at the band, but never directly at me. There was a crease between his eyes like he was frustrated. He held his chest straight and his head high while we danced as if to show people we weren’t together, just friends, no feelings attached. I, on the other hand, sank closer toward him like my bones were made of wax and they were melting in his presence.

Since he was so determined to avoid me, I took the chance to stare at every feature on his face. The way his deep eyes caught the light. How soft his lips looked. His messy hair that was teasing me to run my hands through it. I could feel my breath start to come out shaky. I wanted Justin more than I had ever wanted
anything.
And if I couldn’t tell him, maybe I could show him.

He moved his hand lower on my waist. With any subtle movement he made, my heart responded by drumming in my chest. He kept his face a safe distance from mine, despite the closeness of our bodies.

“You cause trouble wherever you go, don’t you?” he asked me.

“Clubs should hand out ‘Sorry, Not Interested’ cards for those kinds of situations,” I said.

His lip twitched slightly. “You could just be honest with people, you know.”

He looked down at our hands for a moment, locked together, and finally, his eyes met mine. They were careful, like shields were up behind them.

“I didn’t expect you to be here,” I said.

“Is it so bad to see me?” he asked. “I thought we were friends.”

“You told me you couldn’t be my friend,” I reminded him.

“Maybe I was wrong,” he said, and slid his hand a little lower on my waist. “So, is this a truce?”

I didn’t answer. I decided to show him instead. I moved closer until our chests touched. Maybe it was the power of the music that gave me confidence, or maybe I had given up on trying to act like Justin didn’t mean anything to me. He reacted exactly as I expected. His back shot straight up and his body went rigid as he tried to keep his distance.

“Thanks for getting rid of that guy,” I said, and leaned my head toward his neck while I talked. I was trying to be sexy, which I had never attempted before. I had no idea if it was working.

He tightened his lips. “I was just trying to help you out, Maddie,” he said flatly.

“I was about to slap him,” I said, and grinned. He wrinkled his eyebrows at this. I couldn’t tell if it was from my comment, my closeness, or both.

“I took a self-defense class,” I added.

He raised an eyebrow. The gesture only made him sexier.

“Online? What did you learn, push the up and down arrow keys really fast to get away?”

Instead of arguing with him, I dropped my hand out of his. I moved my arms up around his neck until they rested at the base of his hair. I could feel his chest expand against mine.

I cocked my head to the side. “Does this bother you?” I asked innocently. I kept my gaze steady on his. I knew my dad’s eyes were capable of getting what they wanted. Maybe I could experiment tonight.

I twirled my fingers through the soft ends of his hair. He narrowed his eyes at me. He knew exactly what I was doing.

“I’m just trying to use all these nerve endings,” I said, and let my fingertips play. My skin was burning. “Isn’t that what I’m designed to do?”

Our faces were just inches apart. His eyes glared down at me but didn’t lean away this time. Then, he surprised me. He looked right at my lips. For a second I thought he was going to kiss me. I could feel his heart beat through his T-shirt and I know he could feel mine. He slowly traced one of his hands up my arm to my shoulder. He hesitantly allowed his fingers to move through my hair, to my chin, and he lightly brushed my cheek. My stomach kicked so hard it made my breath catch in my chest. I could feel my knees starting to shake.

I watched a world of thought being processed behind his eyes. He slowly scanned my face as if he had never allowed himself to fully notice me. As if he was memorizing my features.

Too soon, the song ended and he dropped his hands from my waist. I felt the muscles in his neck tighten and I reluctantly dropped my hands. I slid them down his warm chest and he took a step back. The crowd around us applauded the band but the sound felt worlds away. Justin backed up a full step. Questions multiplied in my head. Do you like me at all? Do you hate me? Why can’t you let anyone care about you?

A faster beat filled the room and couples separated on the floor.

He ran a hand through his hair and turned to me. His face was flushed. “I don’t really dance,” he said.

I stared at him. People moved in circles around us, music blared, and all I could feel was my heart screaming in my chest, all I could see was light reflecting in his eyes.

“I’ll see you around,” he said quickly. “Try to stay out of trouble.”