Awakening the Wolf (20 page)

“She wanted to go get cleaned up. And I think give us some time to talk.”

He nodded. “How much did you hear?”

“All of it.” Belik leaned against the door. “Does that bother you?”

“You told me that if I wanted her, I’d have to be willing to share. She said it to me, too. I never thought I would have to share a woman. You?”

Belik shook his head. “No. I never thought I would have to either, but it’s something that is done among the flock. If it makes her happy, then I’m going to do everything I can to make her happy. Isn’t that what you want to do, too?”

He nodded. “Yes. I want to make her happy. I’ve always wanted to. Sometimes, like the other night, I lose my temper and say things I shouldn’t. It used to make me so angry when others would pick on Illiana because she wasn’t like the others or that she was not a wolf and I was friends with her. Admit it, your kind pretty much looks the same. Slender, strong, long black hair, and pale skin. She’s curvier and has more meat on her bones, and her skin is darker. That in itself put her in harm’s way of being taunted, but she can control the air and fly upon it. That singled her out even more.”

“Yeah, she’s always been different. That was why I wanted her, but my father would never allow it. Only until I was an official member of the flock. I always figured you for competition, not for a living companion.”

“We will figure out something. I’m not very comfortable up here, and I’d guess you’re not very happy being on the ground all the time,” Christopher said.

Belik glanced over the railing. “It wouldn’t be my first choice, but I’m not one of those who refuse to ever set foot on the ground.”

“Good to know. So I guess we should get to know one another better since we’re going to be sharing living space and a bed.”

“What about the other wolf who you were interested in?”

“Jalisa is no longer the one I am going to mate with. When you came to see me earlier, I had already made up my mind on that. Eventually, I was going to seek out Illiana, but it might have been longer. Thank you for coming to get me. You were right: she doesn’t look herself.”

Belik nodded. “I figured if you did love her the way you claimed, then you’d want to know.”

Christopher studied the raven. He would have to accept him into his life to make way for Illiana. Now all he had to do was tell his father about the change of plans. This was the best thing for him. The pack might not see it that way, but he did not care what his father or what the pack thought anymore. It was all about making Illiana happy. This was the happiest he had been in a long time knowing that he had a woman who loved him. Belik must have felt the same way because he was willing to share her and do whatever it took to make sure she was content.

“I did. Now we have a mating ritual to plan.”

“I suppose we do,” Belik responded.

Illiana sat by the hearth with her mother, Christopher, Belik, and the two men’s fathers. The silence that hung in the air made everyone uncomfortable. Steaming cups of tea were on the table before them, but no one was actually drinking them. Her gaze darted from her two men to their fathers. Lelana stared at her. She knew that expression was not one of pleasure, because her mother did not approve. The mating put another target for her to stand out among the flock, which was why they had invited everyone to sit down and talk about this.

“This combined mating is not a good fit,” Belik’s father stated.

“I agree,” Simian nodded.

Lelana glared at her. “I think you already know how I feel about this. It’s not a good idea.”

“This isn’t about whether you like it or not. This is happening.” Christopher stood with his back to the others, leaning on the mantle.

“I’m with the wolf. We’re going to be joined, and there’s nothing that you can say about it,” Belik said.

“Why are you doing this anyway? To grind it into my bones that you hate I kept the other side of you from you?” Lelana asked Illiana.

“This has nothing to do with how I feel about you keeping the past from me. This is what will make me happy. Don’t you want me to be happy?” Illiana threw up her hands as she paced the aerie.

“This has nothing to do with making you happy. It has to do with the politics of the flock and the wolves. Do you know how much this intertwines us even more? Not that I don’t respect the pack, Simian—we live together, trade together, share land together—but this is nothing we have ever come across before. We have always said we do not intermix with different species. Who knows what could become of the mixture?” her mother said.

“Really? You’re going to preach to me about that when my father was a wolf and an eagle shifter?” Illiana snapped at her mother.

Her rage ate her up because they had already had this conversation. All she wanted was to be with the two men she loved. Couldn’t they see how easy the solution was? They could set up dual homes, one in the wolf village and an aerie in the trees so as not to disturb the natural order of things. Belik got up and rubbed her shoulders, trying to keep her calm. The wolf rumbled inside of her. Now that she had accepted it and things were okay in her life, it had reappeared.

“Leave your father out of this. That was different. I never expected to get pregnant with you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really! Is that what you want to hear? You weren’t wanted.”

She nodded and felt the pain of what she had always thought resurface: that her mother had never wanted her. It reinforced the idea that her mother had always treated her differently even though she had said that it was all for balance. The tears burned her eyes. Illiana bit her tongue and held in her anger. She rubbed the pendant around her neck and wondered what her father would say if he had ever been in the picture. Belik kissed her cheek and hugged her close.

“Shh . . . she’s aggravated with this whole situation and doesn’t know how to handle it. I don’t think that any of them do. This is why we’re here,” Belik said.

“I know. It’s just frustrating to get this far and then . . . ” Illiana responded.

Simian got up and looked at her. “I accepted you into the pack, and now my son has come to me with the idea that you are to be mated. I understand that you defeated Jalisa in a challenge, but I can’t condone the mating. I’m sorry, but this discussion is over.”

Belik’s father also stood. “Son, I’m sorry. I agree with the alpha. This mating can’t happen. It goes against everything that is flock. We don’t mix species. Illiana, I am sure you are a fine woman, but nothing you can do will change my mind.”

Each man stared at his father. Simian stood at the doorway. A long silence filled the room. “Are you coming?”

Christopher remained by her side. It warmed her that he was not going to leave her. “No, Father. I know where I belong, and it’s right here by her side. She is the woman I love.”

The alpha wolf grumbled. “This is not over.”

“Of course not. No matter what you say or do—if you throw me out of the pack, banish me to the sea—I’m not going to leave Illiana. I’ve always obeyed pack law. I won’t be settling for anyone else.”

Simian growled and left the aerie. Christopher turning his back on his father was something she had never imaged that he would do. Illiana hugged him close and kissed him lightly on the lips. He squeezed her shoulder and stayed by her side. Once the alpha had left, her mother gathered up the cups and set them in the kitchen before she faced them.

“That was a very stupid move, Christopher. You’re next in line to lead the pack, and you have to think about what’s good for them instead of what is good for yourself.”

“No offense, Lelana, but I have always lived by pack rules. I don’t care if I’m next in line for alpha. I want Illiana. Is there anything wrong in that?”

She collapsed back in the chair. Illiana noticed the lines etched around her eyes. Lelana’s brow was furrowed, and her lips pinched. “There was a time I thought there was nothing else but love. That’s what I went through with Illiana’s father. He was dashing and strange because he could turn into two different animals, but he was not staying. What good is love when it shifts on you? The feelings you have for one another will dwindle away, and you will wish that you had taken our advice. You love one another now, but in the end, you will want to be with your own kind and not with someone who will make you an outcast.”

“If that’s the case, then why did you not ever mate again?” Illiana asked.

Her mother stared at her. “There was never enough time when I took over the flock to think about love. I have my trysts, but my heart lies in the flock and not some dream of having a perfect life and sharing it with two mates.”

Illiana shook her head and could not stay around to hear anything else that her mother was saying. She was telling her that this was a mistake and it couldn’t work. Not after everything she had worked for. She was not going to let it all slip through her fingers. “I don’t believe you. We
will
make it work. You never believed in me growing up, so I can understand why you don’t believe in me now. No matter what you say, we will all be together.”

She ran out of the house and felt the wind take her once she was in the entryway. It caressed her and lifted her body higher. She heard Belik’s and Christopher’s cries as she flew over the village and wound through the trees. Illiana spread her fingers out so the breeze wove through them until she landed at her aunt’s aerie. She knocked on the door and hoped Coret would be home. In the distance she heard a caw. Belik.

After a few minutes, the door opened and she saw her aunt. She was dressed in a white robe, which meant she had either been doing something ceremonial or was about to. “Illiana, what is it?”

“I need your help with something.”

“Come in. I have a few minutes before I have to leave. Will Belik and Christopher be joining us, too?”

She nodded. “They’re on their way.”

“How did the meeting with all of your parents go about the mating? Or should I assume not that well since you are here?”

“You’re right about that. None of them want us to be mated; that is the reason I’m here.”

Coret smiled. “I take it you want me to do the mating ritual?”

“Can you? Do you need the consent of all of our parents?” Illiana asked.

She heard a rushing of cloth and then saw Belik and Christopher both enter, each wrapping themselves in robes that were too short. Christopher’s barely closed due to his broader frame. Illiana giggled at how uncomfortable he looked. He had been taking everything in stride and learning the ways of the flock. She was learning the ways of the wolf. It was challenging for him to adjust to life above the ground, but he was doing it, and she was adjusting to living life in the forest among the other wolves. She figured today would not go well and it had not, but she had expected her mother to tell her that she was an unwanted child. That had crushed her heart and made her realize how much her mother had never truly wanted her. She might have loved her, but she had only put the good of the flock before her own daughter.

“No, you don’t need your parents’ consent. I don’t know much about wolf law, but I assume it’s the same. Is that correct, Christopher?” Coret asked.

“It is. Normally a dowry is paid from the woman’s family. My father holds the pack in high standing. Our family has been leader of the pack for eight generations. He doesn’t want to tarnish the family’s name. But he doesn’t understand this will only bring the pack and the flock closer together.”

Coret glanced between them all and sighed. Illiana could tell there was something she was thinking about. “It is the same with our family. Illiana is supposed to be the next in line for taking over the flock. I was firstborn, but I had a calling for the priesthood since before I was initiated. Did Lelana tell you that she had a mate set up for her to marry and then she met your father?”

“No, but what does it matter? She’s already told me many times that she never wanted me,” Illiana sighed.

Her aunt glanced at the floor. “It’s true you weren’t planned, but your mother did love you. It was your grandmother, our mother, who was against her having you. She fought during her pregnancy to keep you. Illiana, I’m no matter what your mother did or did not tell you, she really does love you. She had me sneaking off into the night looking for herbs in order to keep you. The pregnancy almost killed her. Haven’t you ever wondered why you never had any more siblings?”

She shrugged. “She was too busy with the flock.”

Her aunt hugged her. “No, that was an excuse. After she had you, there was too much internal damage for her to have any more children. So she threw her life into the flock—even if that meant ignoring you. I know that you don’t want to hear that, but your mom does love you. I had a feeling this whole thing would go bad. But yes, I can do the ceremony for you. Although I’m not sure what the pack would think about it. Will they recognize the ceremony?”

Christopher sighed. “I don’t know. It’s never been done before. I don’t think any of this has been done before.”

“Is it something you both want done now? Or do you want to wait?” Coret asked.

Illiana shrugged. “There was no set day we had planned on us getting mated. We all wanted our parents to be aware of our intentions. Of course that went well.”

Belik caressed her arm. “I know you’re disappointed about all of this, but it will all work out. Your aunt said she can do the mating, and that’s all that’s important. In my heart, you’re already my mate. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Neither am I. Come on. We should let your aunt get to her ceremony.” Christopher squeezed her shoulder.

She nodded. “Right. Sorry.”

Her aunt hugged her. “There’s no need to be sorry. I’m always going to be here for you.”

Illiana returned the hug and walked out of the aerie with her two lovers behind her. She stood at the railing, thinking about what Coret had said about her mother not being able to have any more children and about her mother wanting to keep her. Maybe Illiana had misunderstood her mother. Maybe she should not have condemned her the way she had. Illiana shook her head. Belik touched her and brought her back to herself.