Awakening the Wolf (8 page)

Tonight Illiana would become his. He was not going to take no for an answer. Belik was not sure how she was going to react to him. Probably not too well if he told her the truth, but he did not want to lie to her. He puffed up his chest and fluffed his feathers. He prayed that she would accept him. He was not sure what she would say. If Illiana rejected him, then he was not sure what he would do. There were other girls who had shown interest in him, but he had never thought about them for mating. Maybe he could be happy with one of them. Belik pushed the idea from his thoughts and concentrated on flying faster because he had lost sight of Illiana. If she disappeared, then he did not know if he would ever get up the courage to do it again. As he wove through the branches, he pulled his wings closer and dove further to the ground. When he did, he caught sight of Illiana; his emotions were bolstered, and he knew it was all going to be okay.

The sounds of the night enveloped Illiana as she walked. Crickets chirped, and a few deer roamed among the trees. It was dangerous for deer since they could end up being dinner for the wolves. Thoughts whirled around in her mind of everything that had happened. The night grew cold, but she did not. The fire seemed to live inside of her, and if she needed, she could pull on the warmth to keep her from freezing. It was several miles by foot back to the nests, and she did not care to fly, but she needed to have the earth beneath her feet. The longer she walked, the more the urge to run on all fours crept up on her. Even then it was not complete. She yearned to be nearer to the ground and chasing the animals. But it was not a good idea to take the wolf form right then in case others were looking. So she kept on two feet. A few leaves twirled through the air, dropping from the canopy above, and settled on her hair. The hair on the back of her head stood up. It seemed as if she was being watched. When Illiana glanced at the trees, there were no eyes staring at her, but that did not mean members of the flock were not spying on her. They could be soundless as any good hunter, the same way the wolves were.

A breeze stirred her hair. Illiana stopped and listened. It was faint, but she heard a twig snap. She paused. It would be miles yet before she got to the copse of trees where the aeries were located and fanned out from the center of the great tree there. She was nowhere near the wolves’ village, so it could be anything or anyone. Taking a deep breath, she then kept on walking and swallowed the little bit of fear creeping up on her. The moon gave off little light. Another crack of the underbrush echoed through the wood. The air wound around her arm and jerked her off balance. Illiana caught herself and got the message it was trying to warn her of something. Someone
was
following her.

Illiana slipped behind a tree and waited. She heard a footstep this time, the slight crunching of the dry leaves underfoot. Whoever was after her was trying to be silent, a dutiful hunter, but they were not doing a very good job of it. She counted her breaths, waited a few seconds, and then stepped out from behind the tree.

“Why are you following me?” she snapped.

Belik stopped and nearly ran into her. “I’m sorry. I-I’ve wanted to talk to you.”

“Why would you want to talk to me?” The fury she felt building inside of her seemed to flame the fire spirit she had taken inside of her. The man before her had been trying to speak to her for the three months since their initiation. Illiana had put him off because she was so focused on meeting with Coret and figuring out the other side of her. When she was not home, her mother would tell her that Belik had been by. He certainly was persistent.

He put up his hands and tried to placate her. “I’ve been trying to get your attention ever since the initiation ceremony. Don’t you know that I want to be with you? You know I’ve been coming to your aerie to try and speak with you.”

Illiana knew she could not get away from him. She would have to finally face him. If he was not giving up, then there had to be something behind his visitations. “Why would you want to be with me, Belik? No one from the flock has ever wanted to be
with
me. They all think I’m a freak. Why would you think any different?”

“I never thought you were a freak—just different. That’s why I like you. The others have always been afraid of you being unique. I never was. I’ve been trying to tell you that since our initiation.” He placed his hand on her cheek.

Illiana did not know what to make of his statements. They touched a sore spot within her because she was unsure if he was telling her the truth. That was another reason she kept avoiding him: because he might be trying to play with her feelings. So many others had done that before. But Illiana stared into his dark eyes and saw the expression on Belik’s face. It seemed he was desperate and telling her the truth. His hand felt good on her cheek and stirred some long-buried emotions. Belik took her silence for an unspoken invitation and leaned in to kiss her. Once his lips touched hers, a current ran through her body that fanned the fire inside of her. He stepped closer and slipped an arm around her waist, resting it on the small of her back. The warmth of his hand heated her skin, but before she knew it, he had pulled away. The kiss had taken her by surprise and stolen the breath from her body. The wolf inside of her growled, but she was not sure what to make of that. The raven welcomed the embrace. Illiana touched her lips and looked at him strangely, trying to figure out why he had kissed her.

“Why did you do that?”

He smiled. “Isn’t it obvious? You are the most beautiful creature I have ever met. I’ve wanted to do that for a long time. To taste those luscious lips and feel you against me. I’ve dreamed about it for years. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true.”

“You’re right. I don’t believe you. You don’t come up to me until the initiation and then you’re out in the middle of the night following me. How long have you been following me? What do you know?”

Belik put up his hands, ceding to her. “Whoa! All of those are valid questions. But also remember that I’ve been trying to get you to talk to me since the ceremony. You just never got back to me. Please, I understand your disbelief. My father never allowed me to fraternize with you because he thought . . . well, it doesn’t matter what he thought. I vowed whenever I was initiated into the flock I’d make myself known to you. After you left to join the wolf at the initiation, I swore to myself that I’d win your love. I went to your house for several nights and saw you slip away. I followed you to the sacred grounds. I’ve watched you these past few months, and you seemed to be searching for something. Tonight I saw the remarkable.”

Illiana winced. No one was supposed to know other than her aunt. Knowing that someone knew her secret was a little off-putting, but it also made her feel a weight lift off her shoulders. It was nice to know that someone else knew, but she did not know what to make of his affections. She touched her lips again, and the warmth of his hand was burned into her back. She studied Belik. He was taller than her by almost a foot. His skin was pale, and he had ink-black hair that hung to his shoulders. He had no scars, save the brand they both bore, and had a sculpted chest that showed off his abs. She let her gaze go lower and settle on his semierect cock. A small smile curled her lips. The one problem about shifting was their clothes did not go with them. Belik was attractive, but she had never gazed at one of her own kind with any kind of attraction. It was as though she was seeing him in a whole new light and was not sure how to handle that. Her heart was conflicted because she wanted to go find Christopher, and now Belik had told her that he was in love with her. Could she feel something for him when her heart was already set on someone else?

“What did you see?” she whispered and examined her hands.

“You stepped into the fire. It didn’t burn you or catch your clothes. It wrapped around you, and it appeared that you were communicating with it. Not even the most devout priest can claim that. It was amazing, but there was something else.”

“What else?”

“You began to shift into something else. What were you changing into? Is that the reason why the others have always feared you?”

She laughed, not believing what she was hearing. Illiana ran her fingers through her hair and cleared the leaves from it. “Feared me? Do you really know what it was like growing up in the flock with no friends and everyone making fun of me because I’m not perfectly skinny? Or hearing every time that I’m too big to shift and hearing how I’m dirty because my skin is darker than theirs or how I can fly without shifting? It’s . . . ”

Belik caught her arm and held her in one spot. “I can’t tell you how it was growing up within the flock and how they tortured you. I
never
thought that way. Your abilities are amazing. I’ve always thought that. I could never tell you. I love how you look and the color of your skin; it’s like you were kissed by the sun. When the light hits your hair, it’s like it’s on fire from the red in it mixed with the purples and blue that our kind have. Please, Illiana, let me make you believe all of these things that I’m telling you.”

“Belik, if you truly care for me the way you claim, then it’s only fair I’m truthful with you. It’s widely known I’m friends with one of the wolves.”

“Christopher, the alpha’s son. Yes, I know.”

She smiled. “Yes. I also have feelings for him. I have since I was a teenager. I realize you want me to fall for you, but I’ve never . . . ”

He released her arm and cupped her cheek. She saw the sadness, but also the longing in his eyes. “I’ll wait for your heart to make up its mind, but let me try to win you in the process.”

His offer was a genuine one. The thought of having someone love her blew her mind and also gave her a comfort she had never known. Her mother would approve. But could she love another when she never assumed she would give her heart to anyone else? Christopher had made it clear that he did not want her. He was supposed to be mated, but there was her whole other side. The wolf was part of her and had made itself known. Illiana was going to make sure she could take the shape of the other animal that resided inside of her.

“I don’t mind if you try, but please understand I don’t know how anything is going to go. If you do court me, please don’t tell my mother or anyone what you saw.”

“If that’s what you want, I won’t tell anyone what I saw. It’d only drive you away from me. Just know how much I care for you.”

Illiana nodded. “I can see that you feel for me, but you have to understand that my heart is set on someone else. If I seem to be distant, it doesn’t mean that I’m not interested. I just never assumed that anyone would want to be with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Take all the time that you need, but know that I’ll be here for you. Allow me to court you and show you how much I care. I promise you won’t regret it.”

Illiana smiled. It was nice to know that someone cared about her. However, she was not going to give up her dream of becoming a wolf. Belik would have to understand that he might need to share her if her destiny traveled the path she wished it would. Of course, there was the obstacle of proving to Christopher that she loved him and seeing if he truly loved her. “Come by tomorrow, and we can discuss with my mother about you seeing me. I’m sure it will please her to know that someone is interested in me from the flock. Until then, it’d be best if you returned to your nest.”

Belik took her hand and kissed the back of it. This simple gesture warmed her heart and made her knees a little weak. He released her and stepped back into the shadows. After a few moments, she heard the flutter of raven wings. The fire inside of her kept her warm while she walked, and the darkness grew darker the farther she went into the forest. Thoughts swarmed in her head at what Belik had said. She never thought she would have a suitor from her own flock. What would her mother say? What was anyone going to say? What would Christopher think?

She shook her head and stopped when she came to the boundaries of the wolf village. What good would it do her to walk into the wolf village and go to Christopher? He was probably with Jalisa. Thinking of the two of them together burned her. Illiana closed her hands into fists, pressing her nails into the meat of her palms. She ground her teeth together, and the wolf inside bared its teeth. The more she thought of the two of them, the more aggravated she became. The combined rage of the wolf and the fire rode her skin until it felt like her very muscles were melting. All she could see was red thinking of their entwined bodies. The only sound she wanted to hear from Christopher’s lips was her own name. All she could hear was him saying Jalisa’s name. Illiana rolled her shoulders and felt her spine pop. Her body was on fire, and she needed to feel the air on her bare skin. Illiana undid her robe and let it fall to the ground. Her nails lengthened and embedded into the skin of her palm, which drew blood. The pain did not bother her. Instead she welcomed it. A growl reverberated in her throat. The raven side of her wanted to hold on to her humanity, but the wolf side was ready to break out. Coret had used anger to entice the wolf into shifting. Now that fury was going to be unleashed.

The wind wove through the branches and rustled the leaves. The air was trying to speak to her. However, the fire was feeding her ire. If she did this, her life would be forever changed. That was the point, wasn’t it? So many thoughts swarmed inside of her mind, but they were overruled by the changes raging inside of her. Illiana ran her tongue over her teeth, feeling they had sharpened and grown. She touched her face only to feel her features had shifted. Her nose was longer and so was her jaw to make room for all of her extra teeth. A moment of alarm jolted her, nearly stopping her heart.
This is who I am. There is no going back now.
Her humanity slipped away as the animal took over. No sooner had she done that, than her spine popped again and arched, sending her down on all fours. The heat of the fire consumed her extremities. She could feel the wolf meshing with her limbs and how her body bulked in weight to take on her new form. The muscle mass in her body made her heavy and lower to the ground than what she was accustomed to. The one off-putting thing was the protrusion, the tail that had grown from the end of her spine.