Axel's Pup (60 page)

“The club, riding with them, it’s not important, sir. This is.”

“This?”

“This. You.” Bayden placed his hand gently on Axel’s chest. “I…I don’t want to lose you too.”

“That won’t happen.”

Bayden looked down.

Axel’s grip tightened on his hair, tugging at the strands, making Bayden look him in the eye. “That won’t happen.”

Bayden swallowed. “I don’t want to screw up again, sir.”

Axel’s hand gentled in his hair, but Bayden had no doubt it would tighten again if he tried to move without permission. He was tempted to move just to make it happen.

“You made a few mistakes. You accepted your punishment. It’s time to stop feeling guilty, pup.”

Bayden looked down. “Do you want me to ride with you?”

“Yes, always.” No doubt. No hesitation.

Bayden nodded. Even if his suggestion was a good one, his timing had obviously been wrong. He’d offer again when the time was right. “Yes, sir.”

* * * * *

“That’s the trouble with wolves. You can’t trust them. Disobedient as hell.”

“What do you expect from something that’s half wild animal?”

Axel glanced along the bar. The two guys sitting at the other end weren’t trying to keep their voices down. Bayden had to have heard every word they said, but he was no fool—he’d apparently decided that they weren’t worth paying attention to.

“Wolf-boy.”

Bayden tensed. For several seconds, he simply stared at the bar he was wiping down. Axel smiled to himself, knowing that Bayden wouldn’t answer to that. He never had. The silly tossers could die of thirst waiting for him to—

Axel’s smile disappeared as Bayden went to the other end of the bar and served the guys without either a word or a growl.

Bayden went back to his duties. The guys went back to their conversation.

“Looks like Axel’s got him well trained.”

“I still wouldn’t trust him.”

“I don’t know. I wouldn’t mind taking Axel’s bitch for a ride if he’s broken him in.”

Axel had no doubt that Bayden was still listening to their conversation, but apart from his grip on the cloth he used to wipe down the bar turning white knuckled, he still didn’t react—not even to the one term that always made him want to lynch the whole human race.

Axel stepped up behind Bayden and put his hand on the small of his back. “Pup?”

Bayden turned to him, his expression entirely blank. “Sir?”

“Take the empties out back while it’s quiet.”

“Yes, sir.”

Axel watched him go, then went down to those two guys at the end of the bar. “Something to say?”

Apparently taken mute, they shook their heads in perfect unison.

“You both had plenty to say a few moments ago.”

He met one man’s gaze, then the other’s. Neither of them uttered a word. Axel knew them as people who were on the edges of the scene. They often turned up on the nights when the back rooms were open to the public, but only to gawp, not to actually show off their own skills.

“Didn’t mean any offense,” one of them finally muttered.

“When you insult a sub, you insult his dom. You’ll learn that if you ever try playing rather than just watching. Bayden might have the patience to put up with your bullshit, I don’t.” He looked from one man to the other. “Any questions?”

They once more shook their heads in sync. A moment later, they’d hastily swallowed what was left of their drinks and headed for the exit.

If Bayden noticed they’d gone when he came back into the room, he didn’t mention it. Axel didn’t say anything about it until the pub had closed for the night.

“Any particular reason you didn’t tell those guys where to shove their opinions?” Axel asked once they were alone in the room.

Bayden didn’t pretend not to know who they were talking about. He shrugged. “It wasn’t important, sir.”

“What people think of wolves, what they call wolves, what they call you, none of that is important?”

Bayden shook his head.

“Since when?” Axel demanded.

Bayden picked up some of the empty glasses and carried them to the bar. When he tried to walk past Axel with another handful of empties, Axel stopped him short.

Bayden looked down at the glasses. “Do I need permission, sir?”

Would you prefer Evan help you?
Bayden didn’t actually ask that, but Axel wouldn’t have blamed him if he had.

“To clear up, no—you don’t need permission—it’s part of your job. But to avoid my question, yes, you would need permission, and you don’t have it.”

“I don’t want any trouble, sir.”

“With me?”

Bayden stared at the empties. “With anyone.”

Axel took the glasses out of his hands and set them aside. Bayden tensed.

“No one else is going to clear them away,” Axel promised. He tugged Bayden closer by his belt loops. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing, sir.”

As lies went it was probably one that Bayden told to himself as much as to Axel.

“Maybe I was too hard on you,” Axel mused, out loud and entirely for Bayden’s benefit.

Bayden shook his head. He even reached out to Axel, placing both his hands on his chest.

“You’re not acting like yourself since your punishment. I let that bull about not riding out with us slide, but wherever this is going, it stops now.”

Bayden stared at his hands resting against Axel’s black T-shirt. “Maybe I’m acting more like the kind of wolf I should be, sir,” he said, very softly.

“What kind of wolf is that?”

“The kind that would make you happy,” Bayden said. He frowned, obviously giving a great deal of thought to each word. “One that would put his mate and his pack first. More like him, sir.”

“More like your grandfather?”

“Yes, sir.”

Axel slid an arm around him and gathered him close. He sighed and pressed a kiss to the top of Bayden’s head. Hearing someone scream under the lash was one thing. The pain in Bayden’s voice was almost enough to bring Axel to his knees.

Axel had no idea how to fix this kind of pain. He led Bayden up the stairs and settled them on the sofa in the living room, trying to project confidence and certainty even though he was completely out of his depth. “Tell me about him,” he hazarded.

“He was a good wolf,” Bayden whispered. “You’d have liked him.”

Axel weighed his options. “Liked him, yes. Respected him, yes. Preferred him to you, no.”

Bayden turned and snuggled into Axel’s side more comfortably. He always seemed smaller when they were alone together, so much more in need of his protection.

“Maybe if I was more like him, she would have trusted me to look after her,” he whispered.

“Your mother.”

Bayden nodded.

I can’t lose you too.

Because when she moved in Danville, he’d lost his mother as well as his grandfather. Everyone he thought of as being his pack was gone, and he was left scrabbling for whatever he could keep hold of. Axel stroked Bayden’s back as he carefully slotted puzzle pieces together in his mind.

“So, all the things you’re doing differently are to make me happier?” Axel asked.

Bayden nodded.

“You think you riding with us makes me unhappy?”

“I’ve already ruined two runs,” Bayden whispered. “The club, it’s important to you—it’s your pack. You should be able to ride without worrying that I’ll get pulled over, or that the pub you want to stop at won’t let me in, or…” He sighed and tucked his face into Axel’s shoulder.

“What about what you want?”

Bayden shook his head, rubbing his cheek against Axel in the process. “Not important.”

“It’s important to me.”

Bayden hesitated, obviously unsure what to do about that.

“Letting bastards mouth off in the pub, it’s the same thing, isn’t it? Keep your head down, don’t make a fuss.”

Bayden nodded again, and traced the line of one of the tattoos on Axel’s opposite arm.

Axel sighed. Ever since that last punishment, Bayden had been—

No. Not since the punishment, before that. Ever since his grandfather died, Bayden had been off balance, acting out of character, trying to be someone he wasn’t—

“Your grandfather would have taken a beating off Ford.” The realisation hit Axel so suddenly, he didn’t have time to stop it leaving his mouth.

“Sometimes it’s more important to be able to take a beating than to win a fight. Part of being a good wolf is knowing that. I thought…”

“That I’d think you were good for getting the money?”

Bayden shrugged, but it was obvious that was exactly what he’d thought. He still didn’t get why it hadn’t worked, why Axel seemed to be working from a different definition of what a good wolf was.

Axel scrabbled through his memories, trying to drum up something about wolves that wouldn’t simply reinforce such screwed up ideas. Neither book could offer him any help. The only glimmer of hope came from a whispered conversation in a graveyard. “Would your father have taken a beating off Ford?”

Bayden shook his head. “It’s different, sir. He was an alpha.”

“Was he a good wolf?”

“He was a good alpha, sir. It’s different.” Bayden looked down. “A good wolf puts their pack first—alphas do that in a different way.”

“Your mother and father were together until he died, weren’t they? He was nothing like his father, but she obviously trusted him to look after her and—”

“Wolves bring home half the money humans do,” Bayden cut in. “And maybe that’s not fair. But, dead wolves don’t bring home a penny. A good wolf keeps his head down and doesn’t cause trouble. He doesn’t get himself killed fighting battles he has no chance of winning.”

Axel stroked Bayden’s hair back from his face. So much pain. Axel helplessly pressed a kiss to Bayden’s temple.

“If my grandfather hadn’t moved in and helped…” Bayden shook his head. “My grandfather was a good wolf. Maybe if they could have trusted me to be a good wolf too…”

“But you think you’re more like your father?”

“She always said I was getting more like him all the time.”

Silence settled over them. Axel let it linger, more because he wasn’t sure how to break it than because he thought it might inspire Bayden to offer up any extra information, but eventually Bayden did speak.

“It’s not always easy being a wolf. Being an alpha who can’t form a pack, that’s worse. An alpha can’t be expected to accept things the way they are, but other wolves should. I need to work on that.”

No. The word screamed through Axel’s mind. The idea of Bayden working on getting better at taking a beating, at living scared, made Axel want to put his fist through a wall.

Bayden looked up at him, obviously aware that something was wrong.

Axel brushed their lips together, playing for time while he desperately tried to work out how the hell he could convince Bayden that he shouldn’t try to be like a man he was still in mourning for.

When he lifted his head, Axel pushed his fingers through Bayden’s hair, stroking it back off your face. “Where your mother’s staying, at Danville, can the women there have visitors?”

Bayden nodded. “She said I can go and see her.”

“What about human visitors?”

A confused little frown furrowed Bayden’s forehead. “Sir?”

“I think it’s time I met your mother, pup.”

“It’s stopped raining, sir.”

Axel turned away from the kitchen window. He hadn’t been checking the weather so much as staring into space, but Bayden making the effort to initiate small talk was something that should always be encouraged.

Axel held out his arm, welcoming Bayden in to his side. “It’s turned into a nice day, but we’ll still take my car rather than ride.”

Bayden glanced up at him.

“You’re not sure she’s happy there, are you?” Axel asked.

Bayden shrugged.

“If your mother doesn’t want to stay at Danville, she can come home with us today. We’ll fix the rooms above the garage into a little flat so she can have her own space but still be here with you.”

Bayden studied him very carefully. “I don’t…”

He seemed caught off guard by the idea, but Axel had had plenty of time to plan it out since Bayden had agreed to take him to visit his mother. “She could stay in the spare room while we do up the flat. You’d have to remain dressed while she’s visiting, but it wouldn’t take us long to do the work—the guys would all help.”

“I…” Bayden shook his head. “Three wolves can’t live together, sir.”

It took Axel a few seconds to realise who Bayden was thinking of as the third wolf in that scenario. Part of him wanted to simply stand there in silence and relish the fact Bayden considered him so different to the bad humans he’d met, he’d unconsciously started thinking of him as a wolf.

Eventually Axel forced himself to speak up. “It would be two wolves and a human, pup,” he corrected, ever so gently.

Bayden’s eyes opened very wide as he realised his mistake. “I—”

“Hush. It’s a compliment, not an insult, pup. Don’t backtrack and spoil it.” Axel stroked his thumb across Bayden’s lips.

Bayden looked down.

“You consider her to be part of your pack, right?”

Bayden nodded.

“So, if you’re part of my pack, she is, too. A package deal.”

Bayden glanced up at him, his expression so confused, as if he couldn’t believe he’d actually muddled up what he considered to be such a defining characteristic.

“It’s just an option,” Axel said. “If she’s not one hundred percent happy there, she can come home with us today.”

“I didn’t ask for…” Bayden whispered.

“You’re not asking for anything,” Axel said, very firmly. “I’m telling you. It’s not a case of choosing between wolves and humans. You never have to choose.” He stroked Bayden’s back through his jumper. “Talk to your mother about it today. Find out what she thinks.”

Bayden nodded. He trailed his fingers along the tattoo on Axel’s arm as Axel checked his watch.

“We should get ready to leave.”

Bayden followed Axel into the bedroom, but he didn’t say anything. It was unlikely Bayden’s mother would like tattoos as much as Bayden. God knows Axel’s mother hated every one of them. Axel dug out a black, long sleeve shirt that covered all his ink.