The house that Tessa and Vince had bought to begin their married life was a fixer-upper. But along with the first coats of paint and Vince’s newly mastered skill of hanging wallpaper, the newlyweds filled the house with love.
On Saturday afternoon, Emily carried a tray with dishes of chicken salad and fresh fruit onto the wraparound porch.
“Where did Vince take the kids?” Emily asked as Francesca brought a smaller tray with their drinks outside also.
Tessa had arranged napkins and silverware on three side tables beside each rocking chair.
“The new fast-food restaurant has a play gym,” Tessa explained. “He insists the kids have to have fast food at least once a month because it’s an inalienable right.”
The women laughed.
“How’s Sean’s shoulder?” Francesca asked.
“It’s coming along. We knew it would be slow. He could be three or four before he has full use of his arm again. But he’s a trooper. We do exercises with him every day.”
When Vince had lost his best friend in an automobile accident, Sean’s shoulder had been injured. Vince had brought the baby home to Sagebrush because there was a physician in Lubbock who specialized in that particular type of shoulder injury. The little boy’s surgery had been a success, but recovery would take a long time.
“When are you going back to your practice?” Emily asked her.
“Not until February, at least. And then, it will only be part-time. Actually, Rhonda can’t wait because then she’ll have care of the kids again.”
Emily knew Vince’s housekeeper, Rhonda Zappa, was a wonderful nanny. She’d taken care of Sean full-time until Vince and Tessa had married.
“What’s she doing with herself? I know someone who could use her right now.” Emily suspected Rhonda would be wonderful with Jared’s daughters.
“She’s visiting her son in Austin. She decided to stay for two months and be Grandma every day for a while, instead of just on holidays.”
“Speaking of taking care of children, tell us about Jared Madison’s daughters.” Tessa’s tone was bland, but an arched brow asked lots of questions.
“They’re wonderful. Definitely into the princess craze. Jared’s a terrific dad and—” She stopped.
Tessa eyed her shrewdly. “Is there something you’re not telling us?”
“No, not really.”
“Emily…” Tessa prompted.
Emily had confided her whole story to Tessa and Francesca earlier this summer, so there was no reason to hold anything back now.
“I like him,” she said in a rush. “I know I shouldn’t, but there’s this connection between us or something. He doesn’t want to get involved and I shouldn’t even be thinking about it. But whenever we’re alone together—”
“Fireworks?” Tessa suggested.
Emily nodded, and then realized how absolutely quiet Francesca had been. She hadn’t eaten a bite of her chicken salad. She was sipping a glass of water and staring out across the lawn as if deep in thought.
Emily laid her hand on the arm of Francesca’s chair. “Is something wrong? You’re quiet today.”
Francesca looked from Tessa to Emily and took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”
Emily was too surprised to speak. Francesca had been
single for so long, except for one steamy June night with saddle maker Grady Fitzgerald.
“How can that be?” Tessa asked bluntly. “You said he used protection.”
“I don’t know how it happened. We
did
use protection. Maybe the condom broke. I missed my period. I let it pass, thinking it was just my busy life and work. I’ve never been regular. Last week, I felt a little dizzy…I haven’t been hungry, my breasts felt tender and all the symptoms came together. I used a pregnancy test and…I’m over two months pregnant.”
“Are you upset or happy?” Tessa asked.
“I think I’m still in shock. I’m a doctor, for goodness’ sake! How could this happen to me?”
Emily studied her friend’s face. “Shock or not, how do you feel about having a baby?”
Francesca’s face broke into a lovely smile. “I’m beginning to like the idea a lot. A baby to love and hold—”
“And diaper,” Tessa added with a grin.
“And diaper,” Francesca repeated. “My problem is, I don’t know what to do about Grady. We have very different lives…. We
want
very different lives. He’s all about family. I wanted to run away from mine. He loves his work making saddles but he’s a laid-back, no-pressure kind of guy. My career is everything to me…of course with a baby, that will have to change some. But my work with newborns will still be important. It will give me and my child a life.”
“
Your
child?” Emily asked.
Francesca frowned. “You know I have trust issues. You know I chose badly with Darren. I chose the kind of man I ran away from. How do I know Grady is what he seems? We had one night together.”
She studied the front yard, then added, “I have to tell
him, but I don’t know how and I don’t know when. And the truth is, I need time to figure out what’s best for this baby.”
“Do you think he’s the kind of man who will want a say in that?” Tessa asked.
“I have no idea. Just because he comes from a large family doesn’t mean he wants to be a dad. Maybe I don’t want him to
be
a dad. Maybe I’m hoping he’d rather walk away.”
Emily admired Francesca’s honesty and the way she could analyze her life.
“I never thought I’d find happily ever after, but I have with Vince,” Tessa reminded them.
“You and Vince are different,” Emily proposed. “You fell in love in high school and, although you both denied it, that love never quit.”
“We thought of our past as a burden, not something that connected us. So if Vince and I can be so happy, maybe the two of you need to take a few risks and find out if you can be happy, too.”
Take a risk. Emily almost panicked at the thought. In the past, she’d definitely opted for safe rather than sorry. But what had that gotten her? Life with a man who’d spent their money on a huge house and expensive toys that were supposed to promote his career? She’d supported his dreams and tried to make them hers. But that hadn’t worked.
Could she trust a man to stand by her no matter what? To actually believe in marriage vows? To promise a lifelong commitment?
She knew Prince Charmings were in short supply. And she was no Cinderella! Tessa and Vince might be the exception rather than the rule.
When Emily exchanged a look with Francesca, she knew Francesca believed that, too.
E
mily hadn’t seen Jared all day on Monday. That was a good thing, she told herself. If she didn’t see him, she couldn’t want to see him more.
Her luck ran out when she headed into the hall. There he was, coming out of his office, his cell phone at his ear. When he saw her, he ended the call and frowned.
“Is something wrong?” Maybe one of his patients went into unexpected labor. Maybe his mother had spiked an infection. Maybe his life was none of her business.
As he hesitated, she felt the urge to step closer to him. But she didn’t have to. He took a step closer to her. “That was Chloie.”
Although she felt current between them, although deep in his eyes she saw he felt it, too, she changed her focus to his twins. “Are Amy and Courtney all right?”
“Oh, they’re fine. Except…they insist they want to see their grandmother.”
“Does that surprise you?”
He slipped his phone into the holster on his belt. “No. I was just hoping I could sidetrack them, at least until she got to the rehab facility. But they know she’s in the hospital and they want to see her. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Emily thought about it. “You said they saw her fall.”
“That’s right. And they saw the ambulance come and take her away.”
She tried to put herself in the twins’ place. “They want to be reassured she’s coming home again.”
“I have been reassuring them of that, but I don’t think they believe me.”
Emily studied Jared. Already she suspected he was the type of man who liked to control his world. Once in a while, however, he had to settle for plan B. “What would be so terrible about taking them to the hospital for a short visit? They’re well-behaved.”
The lines around his eyes cut deeper with concern as he shook his head. “I don’t want them to see anything that will scare them. Hospitals aren’t always the kindest places. There are unusual machines, IVs…”
“I think you have to decide whether the benefits would outweigh everything else. What they conjure up in their thoughts could be worse than what they might actually see.”
Now his green eyes assessed her, considering her suggestion. “You mean if they’re excited about seeing their grandmother, they won’t notice anything else?”
She smiled. “I’m not that naive. Did you ever think about buying them one of those hospital play sets and explaining equipment they might see before they go?”
“I knew there was a reason I hired you,” he said with a teasing smile that sent her heart into an upbeat rhythm.
“The reason you hired me was to shift some of your patient load,” she teased back, feigning offense.
“And that’s worked very well,” he said seriously. “Our mothers-to-be trust you. You’ve really added a lot to this practice.”
The way he was looking at her with respect for her professional talent meant so much. “Thank you,” she murmured, wanting him to know her whole story, yet still afraid to confide in him.
After they stood there gazing at each other for a few heartbeats, Emily felt that tempting tension rise between them again.
“Why don’t you come with me to the toy store?” he suggested. “You can help me pick out the most appropriate play set.”
She shouldn’t. She absolutely knew she shouldn’t. What about taking a few risks? her inner voice asked while Francesca’s admonition to be careful played, too.
Jared took her silence as reluctance. His expression became serious. “You probably have other plans. The girls and I have taken up more than enough of your time.”
“No, that’s not true! I don’t have any other plans. In fact, I had a message from Francesca that she’d be tied up at the hospital again tonight. So I’d like to help you pick out a play set.” Maybe her concept of her world had to change. Maybe she had to take a step forward to
move
forward!
“Don’t feel you have to come, Emily. I don’t want you to feel any pressure.”
“I don’t feel pressured, Jared. I’d tell you if I did. The problem is, I like being with you.”
“You like being with me?” His voice held surprise.
“Yes. You’re a good listener. You’re easy to talk to. And we seem to understand each other. All qualities I like in a friend.” If she kept this light, maybe being with Jared wouldn’t be a mistake. She knew she was falling for him, but if they could be friends, maybe the fall wouldn’t hurt her.
“Friends, huh?”
She nodded as if that’s all she expected or wanted. Being honest with herself, she knew she wanted a lot more.
They’d been standing about a foot apart and now he moved closer. “I don’t think we’re going to be friends like Chloie and I are friends.”
“Probably not,” she admitted. “Every friendship is different.”
“What do you expect from your friends?” he asked, his voice husky.
What she wanted was to step into his arms. What she wanted was to feel his lips on hers again. And ultimately what she wanted was way more than he’d said he was willing to give.
What did she expect from friendship? “That depends on the level of friendship. It’s come to mean something different since I moved here and met Tessa and Francesca. I guess loyalty is the main quality I expect.”
The silence in the offices wrapped around them. The other doctors as well as the office staff had gone. No one was around but the two of them. If he reached for her, she wouldn’t pull away. He looked as if he wanted to. He looked as if he liked what she expected of friendship.
But Jared was the type of man who thought about professional reputation and ethics and time and place.
Breaking eye contact and the sensual haze that always seemed to surround them when they were together, he
reached into his pocket for his keys. “Would you like to ride with me to the toy store?”
Emily considered sitting next to him in his sedan, aware of him in the confined space. “I’ll follow you.”
Fifteen minutes later, Emily walked beside Jared through the rows of the toy store. She felt as if she were on a date, though she knew she wasn’t. He’d tugged off his tie and opened the top button of his shirt. She could see a hint of his dark-brown chest hair. He was at least six feet tall and she felt almost fragile beside him. Every now and then, she caught the trace of a male fragrance that lingered at the end of the day. His thick hair curled slightly over his collar in the back and her fingers tingled to touch it. He glanced at her now and then. When their eyes met—
What was brewing between them was powerful chemistry neither of them could deny. Yet they were both trying to.
As they traversed the sports section, he stopped in front of the soccer balls. “I’m thinking about getting them one of these for Christmas.”
“You’re going to be a soccer dad?”
He shrugged. “I could take them to their games on Saturdays when I’m not on call.”
He appeared nonchalant but she could hear his voice strain when he realized that he couldn’t be with his daughters whenever they needed him.
After the sports aisle, they turned the corner into little-girl land. Emily pointed to a princess Barbie. “Now,
that’s
a Christmas present.”
Jared laughed. “I can see how being a dad colors what I buy for them. I might have to consult you as a personal shopper for Christmas.”
She stopped at a miniature tea set with pictures of Cinderella on the pot and dishes and lifted it from the shelf. “Do you mind if I buy this for them?”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. I think they’d have fun with it. Tea parties are great for the imagination.”
“I’m sure they’d like to have tea with
you.
”
From his smile and the sincerity in his voice, she could see he meant that. From the glimmers of desire in his eyes, she could also see that he found her attractive, and that was such a balm to her ego. “I was thinking of them having tea with
you,
along with their teddy bears and Barbie dolls.”
“Now,
that’s
a picture,” he admitted with a chuckle.
They found the hospital play set easily in the dollhouse section. Jared examined it, nodding as he did. “This is a good idea, Emily. I’m glad you suggested it.”
Emily’s cell phone began playing a lilting tune. She retrieved it from the outside pocket of her purse.
Jared took the tea set from her so she wouldn’t have to juggle it. When she checked the caller ID, she froze.
He studied the expression on her face and asked, “Emily?”
“It’s my ex-husband. I’d better take this.” Richard never called her. Since the divorce, they hadn’t had much communication, although there were still a few loose ends to tie up. She sent him a check every month. If he was calling, there would be a reason. And he wouldn’t stop calling until he got her. She knew her ex that well.
“Excuse me,” she said to Jared as she walked to the end of the aisle where she had better reception and some privacy.
After she answered, her ex-husband asked, “How are you doing, Em?”
She didn’t like the nickname, never had really. He hadn’t taken her seriously when she’d told him that. “I’m
okay, but this isn’t a good time. Can I give you a call back later tonight?”
“You’re still at work?”
“No, I’m not.”
“On a date?”
Ever since their divorce, he hadn’t cared. Why would he now? “No, Richard. I’m shopping.”
“Well, it’s good to know you have enough money to do that. Low expenses in Sagebrush.”
“I’m getting by. I’m sharing a house and that helps.” She didn’t even know why she told him that except she wanted him to realize she didn’t have a lot left over at the end of the month. “So, why are you calling?”
“I need your signature on something.”
“What?” All of their belongings except two had been divided up.
“I want to sell the painting that’s hanging over the sofa, but your name’s on the provenance, too.”
The only property that hadn’t been completely settled was the painting and the boat, a thirty-six-foot sailing vessel that Richard used to impress clients. She wondered why he needed money, though. His salary had always covered their bills comfortably. They’d used her salary for her personal expenses and extras—parties, dinners out, half of the down payment on the boat.
“How do you want to handle selling the painting?” she asked, still mourning the loss of the relationship she’d begun with stars in her eyes, intending it to last forever.
“Do you have a fax?”
She didn’t, but Francesca did. “I can give you my roommate’s fax number.” She rattled it off.
“That’s great. I’ll fax the form over right away. Sign it and send it back to me by registered mail, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Thanks, Em.”
“No problem.”
The awkward silence vibrating on the line came from two people who didn’t know each other anymore, who maybe had never really known each other. “Take care,” he said as if he wanted to say more but didn’t know how.
“You, too.”
After she closed her phone, Jared approached her. “Is everything okay?”
“Fine. My ex needs my signature. We bought this painting together for the living room…” She stopped, a lump forming in her throat.
“Everything has a memory attached, doesn’t it?” Jared asked as if he knew.
She nodded, tucking her phone into its purse pocket, not meeting his gaze.
He set down everything he was holding onto the floor, then straightened, came very close and lifted her chin. “I was divorced, too, so I understand that even though a marriage is over, there are still remnants left of what it once meant.”
She wanted to tell him everything—about how Richard had turned away from her during the court proceedings, about how his lack of support had left her feeling so alone. But there would be so much to explain…so much Jared might not understand.
“Do you still love him?”
The answer seemed to be important to Jared. Why was he asking? Because he wanted her to be free of entanglements? To be free of her past? She didn’t know if she’d ever be free of that.
“The part of me that once loved him remembers what that was like. I wish him well. But no, I’m not still in love with him.”
Jared searched her face, perhaps not knowing if he could believe her words. Why would he doubt what she said? Unless someone had lied to him before?
The intensity of the moment passed as his hand slid from her chin. He picked up the play set and the tea set he’d set on the floor. “I think you should come over and show the girls all the aspects of the hospital that they might see. Explanations wouldn’t be too scary coming from you. I might be too clinical. What do you think?”
Her voice was soft with gratitude when she answered, “I think you’re trying to distract me from the call. Thank you. I’d love seeing your daughters again.”
“All right. Then maybe after you show them around the toy hospital, you can teach me the finer points of having a tea party.”
His dry voice made her smile. He would do anything for his daughters. With sudden realization, she knew
she’d
do anything for him.
Yet once before she’d placed a man’s concerns before hers. Once before she’d let Richard’s ambition and desires supersede hers. And when she’d needed him—
When she was with Jared, she had to remember her failed marriage. Otherwise he could break her heart and she wouldn’t be able to patch it up again.
Jared could have kicked himself for inviting Emily along home with him. Yet she had been good for his girls. And she’d looked so sad after her phone call.
Still, what about what was good for
him?
For the past two years, he really hadn’t thought about
himself. Amy and Courtney had needed him day and night. His career demanded his time day and night.
He’d been lonely after his divorce. And after Valerie died…
He’d been confused and in turmoil because she hadn’t confided in him. What kind of man was he that she couldn’t tell him the truth about her illness?
Since then he’d denied physical needs and fallen into bed exhausted every night. Work and spending time with the twins was like a numbing drug. He worked more and tried to meet their every need so he didn’t have to think about a life he didn’t have.