My stomach churned over his admission. Mainly for the fact that this whole time he’s seen me in an entirely different light than I thought he did. I had assumed he looked down on me, detested the ground I walked on, when it was actually the complete opposite. It moved something deep inside me and for a moment, I felt guilty about everything.
“I’m sorry.”
Kova’s eyes narrowed, shock pouring out of them. “Do not ever be sorry for the passion that lives inside of you. It is a gift not everyone is given.”
Swallowing back the lump in my throat, I thought about his words in the letter, the sincerity behind them. He wrote his feelings out because he was unable to express them in a manner that allowed him to. It wasn’t uncommon to pen one’s emotions, but I couldn’t get past the fact he hid them so well…or he felt such a way.
With shaky words I asked, “Do you…do you really feel that way about me?”
When Kova looked back at me he didn’t conceal his emotions or feelings. “Every word.”
My lips parted, a flush of heat hitting my body hard. His conviction rendered me speechless. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“It is not so simple.” Leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees, he stared at the ground as if he was ashamed of his actions. “If you want to train with another coach, I would completely understand. Just say the word and I will change things around and make it happen.”
“No,” my voice cracked. “I don’t want anyone but you.” And I didn’t. He was the best coach I’d ever had.
“You will do just as well with someone else at World Cup.”
“No,” I said, defiantly louder this time.
Kova blew out a remorseful breath and turned toward me. “Ria, I think it would be best. This thing,” he shuffled his hands back and forth between us, “this thing has to stop. And with you being so close to me, me training you, I am afraid of what the future holds.” The conviction was powerful in his eyes, I knew he meant it. “I need you to know I have never…” he ran his tongue along his bottom lip, “I have never done anything with another gymnast like this. I cheated on the woman I plan to marry someday. I could lose everything that means something to me. I could lose my reputation, my gym.” I stayed silent and let him continue. Despite the ache and jealously spreading like wildfire in my chest, hearing he planned to marry Katja hurt more. “I never meant to take advantage of you.”
I swallowed hard. “You didn’t.”
“You are underage, Adrianna. I know better than to touch you. It is fucking wrong. I am totally at fault here.”
I got a little sassy because I didn’t want him to hold all the weight. “You did way more than just touch if I remember correctly. You gave me two incredible orgasms.” I bit my lip, heat tinted my cheeks thinking about how I rode him in the dance room. The room became stuffy and my body started to simmer for his touch. “It was the most—”
Fire blazed in his eyes as he cut me off. “I am fully aware of what I did,” he snapped.
“So, why do we have to stop?”
“Are you fucking serious right now?” Kova stood and began pacing my living room. “Can you not comprehend the magnitude of the situation?”
I stood and challenged him. “I do understand, but it’s not wrong if I’m
consenting
. Do you not comprehend that?”
He shook his head and walked toward the door. My heart thumped wildly in my chest. I wasn’t ready for him to leave yet, I didn’t want him to go.
“Do not say those things to me. It is not the same thing, and it still does not make it right.”
“I liked it, Kova, and I wanted it as much as you did. Don’t blame yourself for anything.”
He stopped dead in his tracks. “Do. Present tense.”
I smiled softly at his correction as he turned and made his way toward me. Kova backed me against the wall in my living room. He placed his hand flat to the wall and angled his head down, pressing his forehead to mine. Tension radiated off him, the fight to walk away clear as day in his vacillating eyes.
“That is the problem, I still want you, Ria.” He breathed into me and cupped my nape. “I should not, but I do, and it is so fucking wrong and sick. And I love it.”
“I love when you say my name like that,” I whispered honestly, staring at his lips. “Your accent comes out and it’s so sexy.” I placed my hands on his firm chest and slid them up. He tensed, but I paid no attention to it. I wanted to kiss him again, to feel his lips pressed to mine, his tongue tangled with mine. The way he kissed me, so skilled and dominating, I loved the command he took. No one had ever kissed me the way he did. Confidence roared through me, so I grabbed a hold and took a leap.
My heart chased the anticipation as we closed the distance. Faces tilted, we touched lips lightly, and I whimpered into him. My hands tangled in his hair as he placed his hands on my hips and held me still. His thumb drew little circles on my pelvis, eliciting wetness between my thighs. I squeezed my legs together, trying to ease the sudden ache.
He didn’t refuse me like I feared he might. Quite the contrary actually.
“Does it make me a pervert for wanting you so desperately?”
“No,” I responded immediately. Because it didn’t.
“Good, because if it did, well, I would not give a fuck. I want you.”
Getting as close as I could so there was not an inch left between us, I leaned into his strong body. My breasts pressed against his chest and I kissed him passionately. He took the lead and set the pace, and I followed, which rewarded me with a squeeze of his hand. Our tongues swirled provocatively, mounting the desire between us. I knew this was wrong, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care that Kova could get in trouble, I didn’t care he had a girlfriend he planned to marry one day. I didn’t care about anything but this moment and seeing where it could take us.
Plus, I liked making him feel good.
One of Kova’s hands trailed down my side and around to my back. He lifted the back of my shirt so he could cup my ass. He gave it a good, hard squeeze, biting my bottom lip at the same time. My eyes rolled shut as a light sigh escaped my throat. His touch was incredible, like a million little kisses coating my skin and I melted into him. His hips rose, legs spreading wider as the bulge in his jeans pushed against me.
My hands skimmed over his firm shoulders and chest. I was desperate to feel his skin under my touch. Giving him a slight grasp, my hips surged into his. I pressed hard and before I knew what was happening, Kova removed my oversized shirt and threw it to the floor.
As I went to lean back into him for more, he stopped me abruptly and pulled away by pushing my hands down. His fingers danced delicately over my collarbone to the thin strap of my tank top, slipping it off my shoulder. My breathing deepened, my shirt slowly rising and my nipples were hard little points, while his finger twirled across my chest but not dipping past the thin fabric. His hand slid around my neck, clutching me, his fingers brushing against my sensitive skin.
“Why do you do this to me, Adrianna,” he said huskily. “Why do you make me want you so bad? You make me want you in ways that should make me ashamed.”
“I don’t make you do anything you don’t want.”
“No, you are right, but you do not make it any easier for me to stop either. You only push for me to take. My pleas backfired on me. You take and I want more, I want to give you more. I can see it, but I cannot stop my actions,” he said honestly as the other strap fell off my shoulder with his help. The only thing holding up my shirt were my swollen breasts.
Biting my lip, I asked softly, “Would it be so bad?”
“More than you know.”
I took a deep breath and arched my back, my breasts rising slightly into him with my hips. His finger trailed my skin so gently, clearly seeking permission to move lower. I watched the indecision in his eyes, the way a crease formed between them as he fought with himself. He knew right from wrong. A pang of guilt seized my heart for taunting him.
When he hit the plump part of my breast, he ran his tongue along his bottom lip again. The look in his eyes blazed a path of fiery heat across my heated flesh. Kova made me feel desired, wanted, like I was the only thing in the world that mattered.
“I want you,” he shook his head, pushing my shirt down so most of my breast was showing except my rosy, pink nipple. His erection strained into my stomach and I found myself growing increasingly wet. There was something so deliciously forbidden about being alone with him in my condo where no one could find us, to do as we desired. My heart raged against my ribs, thumping so hard I wondered if he could see the pulse beating in my neck. My panties were sticking to me and his rough, calloused hand sliding up and down my waist wasn’t helping. As my chest rose, my areola slipped past the rim of my shirt. Kova paused as I held my breath, and goose bumps pebbled my skin.
“The consequences could be damaging.” He slowly pulled down the rest of my shirt, the back of his finger scraping my supple flesh. “But it is a chance I am willing to take,” he growled, then sealed his mouth around my nipple. He sucked so hard my head flew back and hit the wall, I whimpered.
The neck of my shirt sat under my boobs, pushing them up and together, he palmed both and tried to suck my nipples at the same time. My tank top was loose, the straps around my biceps and I wrapped my arms around his waist. I stuck my hands under his shirt and raked my nails down his lower back and sides, bringing my hands around the front of him to his abs.
“Oh, my God,” I breathed. “That feels amazing.”
“I can tell by the way you are rubbing on my dick.” I didn’t even realize I was rubbing on him, but the delicious friction was building inside and I wanted more.
With his head tilted to the side, I leaned in and licked a wet trail up his neck. He made me wild with desire, and I couldn’t stop the frenzy that tore through me. I attacked his mouth. My hands were everywhere, lifting up his shirt to feel his heated skin against my own as I kneaded and gripped him with everything in me.
Kova froze, swiftly stepping back until he was a foot away from me. “Fuck!” He yelled, making me flinch.
“What’s wrong?” I yelled back. Talk about doing a one eighty. I knew where this was going. Silence enveloped us as we stared at each other. Taking a chance, I acted purely on instinct, “I don’t want you to stop. What don’t you understand? I want this,” I stated, adding emphasis to want. “If I didn’t want this, I would be doing the complete opposite.”
A tick worked in Kova’s jaw. “You do not know what you want!”
“Oh, yeah? Says who?”
“It is nothing for me to make you want these things. I know where to touch you and how.” Torture captured his eyes. “You are too young to know what you want. This is nothing more than lust for you.”
I shook my head in disagreement. “You did this,” I pointed to my bare chest, “to me.” Walking up to him with my shoulders back, I reached out and boldly cupped his erection and stroked him through his jeans. His eyes rolled closed, a deep groan escaped him. His body hardened. “And I did this to you. If I didn’t want this, if you didn’t want this, we wouldn’t have let it get this far.” He opened his eyes, and I said, “Deny it all you want and go home to fuck your girlfriend, Kova.” With a perfectly angled brow, I asked, “Isn’t that what your note said anyway? That you have to fuck your girlfriend because you can’t fuck me.”
My pulse thrummed and I was struggling to keep my hands still and appear confident. Never had I been so provoking when it came to us, but I was tired of being played and it was about time he knew it. All of his back and forth was giving me whiplash.
Kova’s eyes were heavy, his lids dropping low. He took a step toward me, and I stepped back. He slapped my hand away.
“You know what? You are right. I want to be so deep inside you until you scream. I want to wrap those nimble, little legs around my hips and get as far in as I can.” He stalked toward me until I couldn’t back up any more.
“I want to watch your face as you orgasm with my cock buried inside you, your hands above your head so you cannot stop me from pushing all the way in.” He gripped the base of my neck, his desperate words floating on my skin. “And the sickest part is that I want you to tell me no, I want you to fight me. But it would not matter, would it? I would take anyway. Because we both know it is what you want, is it not?” He picked me up and stormed to my bedroom, throwing me onto the bed and ripping my panties off with a fast tug before he could rest between my thighs.
“Wait.” He didn’t seem to process my request as a shadow slipped over his eyes. I tried to close my legs, but Kova had other plans. His thumb found my sex and all common sense left my head.
Kova’s eyes were as dark as the night sky as he scanned my body.
“You are so fucking gorgeous it hurts.” He shook his head in disbelief. “I have tried to fight it, this urge deep inside me to stay calm, but you are all I think about, all I want.” He gripped my inner thigh and I bit my lip. “Your tenacity in the gym, the persistence to not give up no matter how much I wear you down, you are strong, Adrianna. You are a fighter, and that turns me on.
“I am going to show you just what your body needs.” He paused, and softly added, “You are my greatest weakness. From the moment I set eyes on you, I have been fighting my attraction.”
My heart swelled at his words.