Lars swallowed hard. She really hoped it wasn’t to keep from laughing hysterically. “It’s not something I’ve done too much myself. At least not for a while. Look, Jess, I just want us to get over this. I don’t want it to come between us. If you want me to promise I’ll never come on to you again, I will.”
She stared at him, wide-eyed.
Terrific
. He didn’t want to have sex with her again. Ever. Had it really been that bad?
He blew out a quick breath. “I mean, I wouldn’t be happy about it, but I’d promise. If that’s what you want.”
It took a couple of moments for the words to sink in. “You…want to do it again? Is that what you’re saying?”
He shook his head. “Not if you don’t want to. It’s absolutely your choice. I don’t want you to think…” His voice trailed off and he rubbed a hand through his hair. “I’m really screwing this up, aren’t I?”
“No, you’re not.” She took a breath. “It’s just…I have to get used to the idea. I haven’t been with anyone since Barry died.”
“I haven’t either. I mean, I haven’t done it for a while—not since the divorce.” His smile was close to a grimace. “I didn’t have the energy or the inclination, I guess.”
He’d sure had the energy that night. Jess fought down an attack of hysterical giggles.
Lars’s grin became genuine. “You had a lot to do with that.”
Oh god, she’d actually said the words out loud. She wondered if she could slink out of the room without calling attention to herself. Her face felt like it had returned to boiled lobster shade.
“Look, Jess.” He leaned forward again. “If you want me to back off, I will. If it’s too soon for you, I absolutely understand. But given my choice, I’d like to, well, explore the possibilities.”
“The possibilities?” She licked her lips.
“Between us. I think it could be…really good.” His brow furrowed. “Did I screw this up again?”
She shook her head. “Give me a minute. I’m just processing here.”
“Processing?”
“Changing my perspective. Sort of like a screen refresh.”
“Oh.” The corners of his mouth began to creep up. “Does that mean you’re not entirely against the idea?”
She held up her hand. “Still processing.”
“Does that mean you’d consider it?”
She swallowed hard, feeling her pulse thump. “What if I said yes?”
He was definitely grinning. “Is that a hypothetical question?”
She stared down at her toes for a moment, then raised her gaze to his. “Not hypothetical. I’m interested. Just sort of…nervous.”
He pushed himself slowly to his feet, as if he was trying not to spook her. “Nervous is okay. I’m not exactly rock steady myself.”
Jess raised her gaze to his face, somewhere up there in the darkness above her. He might not be rock steady, but at the moment, he looked like he was made out of granite. Her chest suddenly felt tight. She drew in another deep breath.
“This time I want to do it right,” Lars said softly. “This time I want a bed. And time.” He extended his hand to her.
If I give him my hand, I’m committed. If I give him my hand, we’re going to do this.
One last deep breath, and she placed her hand in his.
Lars wanted to turn on the light in his room, but he was afraid Jess would take off down the hall if he did. Instead, he switched on the reading lamp near his bed.
She didn’t flinch, which he took as a good sign. He cupped her cheek, then ran his thumb across her full upper lip. She stared at him with eyes like tide-pools—huge, green, stormy. He leaned forward and gently opened his mouth against hers.
She murmured against him, her hands moving up his chest. He dropped his hands to her waist, pulling her T-shirt free from her jeans, then sliding his fingers underneath.
Her body felt lithe, muscular—strong, with soft full breasts. He pinched her nipples and heard her gasp, then she drew tight against him, running her tongue along the line of his throat.
He hardened almost instantly. After a long drought, his body was obviously making up for lost time. He buried his face in her hair, smelling rosemary, mint—and yeast. His breath caught in a chuckle.
“What?” She pulled back to stare at him.
“You smell like paradise,” he murmured. “And you taste like it too.” He pushed her backward until her knees hit the edge of the bed, managing not to land exactly on top of her as he followed her down. “I never knew fresh bread could be such an aphrodisiac.”
Jess pulled at his shirt, working the buttons free, then sliding it off his shoulders. She pushed him flat on his back, running her palms lightly across his chest.
Lars speared his fingers into her hair again and drew her face down, plunging his tongue deep into her mouth.
Her hands moved to his hips and she began struggling with his belt buckle.
“Easy,” he whispered. He took hold of her T-shirt again, pulling it over her head, then moved quickly to unfasten her bra.
Her full breasts hung free, her nipples dark in the lamplight. He brought his hands up to cup them, feeling their weight against his palms.
“I’m still nursing Jack,” she whispered. “Things could get messy.”
“Don’t worry about it.” He leaned forward and took her nipple into his mouth, tasting the faint, lingering sweetness of her milk. He pressed it hard with his tongue, and she moaned.
He looked up. Her eyes were closed, her fingers gripping his shoulders. He moved to the other breast and felt her rub against him.
Clothes
. They both still had way too many clothes on. He unzipped her jeans, pulling them over her rear and down. Jess kicked them free then pushed his belt loose from the buckle and yanked his own zipper down.
Lars pushed his khakis and underwear to the floor, feeling his cock spring free as he did. He was already at tent-pole size.
Jess sat still for a moment, staring down at his crotch.
“Stand up,” he said.
She blinked at him. “What?”
“Stand up. Please. I want to see all of you at once.”
She pushed up, then stepped back from the bed. Full breasts, a gently curving waist, stomach taut but still slightly rounded from her pregnancy. Slender legs and arms, with a suggestion of muscles underneath.
Lars reached out to run his fingers across her abdomen, earning a soft gasp. “You have a runner’s body. A beautiful runner’s body.”
“I used to run. I haven’t had a chance in a while.” She made a small upward motion with her fingers. “Now you.”
He pushed himself upright, then stood. Without clothes, he knew he looked like a Neanderthal, but most women got over it eventually. Sherice had made a few cracks about his hairiness, but she never seemed to mind once they got to bed.
“You’re amazing,” she breathed.
He narrowed his eyes. Was that a shot?
“I mean it. You’re just…gorgeous.”
Lars bit down on his initial reaction. Why argue? She said he was gorgeous. Okay. For tonight he’d be gorgeous. Anything the lady wanted.
Jess stepped forward, leaning down to run her tongue across his nipple, then catching it in her teeth. Lars groaned and pulled her hips against him, feeling soft breasts and belly, sliding his fingers into her folds. Her clit was hard and erect beneath his thumb, and she groaned when he rubbed across it.
“God, I want you,” he whispered.
She moved her mouth to his throat, gliding her tongue to the indentation at the base, then running her teeth across his collarbone. Her hands rested on his shoulders and she pushed him gently backward toward the bed.
Lars landed on his back, staring up at her as she straddled his hips.
“In the top dresser drawer,” he gasped. “Please.”
Jess half-turned and pulled the drawer open, then leaned back, foil packet in her hand. She bit one corner, then ripped it open with her teeth.
Lars watched her pull the condom out of the foil and then place it on the head of his cock, running her hands slowly down the shaft to unroll it. He closed his eyes. If he was going to die, he hoped he’d at least make it to the end of the evening!
Jess straddled him again, pressing her knees against his hips, and then she lowered herself slowly, taking him into the warm moist depths of her body.
He gasped, then blew out a breath. “Jesus!”
She leaned forward, resting her palms on his chest as she raised her hips and lowered them again, then again, increasing her speed.
He reached up to cup her breasts, arching up to meet her as she rode him. “Jess, ah Jess!”
She paused long enough to bend down, and he pulled her mouth to his, burying his hands in her hair. Then she broke free and began to move again, faster now, her breath ragged.
Heat rolled over him from the base of his spine, pulling him up. He grasped her hips, holding her steady as he plunged deep again and again, then pushed hard against the place where they were joined until she cried out, her arms giving way to let her fall against him.
Lars seized her hands, feeling his body convulse against her as she groaned. Then he wrapped his arms around her waist holding her tight again, his hips pumping hard as he finished.
“Oh my,” she whispered. “My.”
Mine
. A voice sang in his head.
Lars tried very hard to ignore it.
Chapter Seventeen
Lars woke up reaching for Jess.
Not good.
Not good at all. It was way too soon to be feeling this way. After Sherice, he’d sworn never to let his cock drive another relationship. But here he was again.
Bad enough that she’d spent the night in his bed. Bad enough that they’d made love twice more before falling into exhausted sleep. Well, okay, that part hadn’t really been bad at all, but it was the principle of the thing.
He patted the mattress next to him, confirming what he’d already suspected. Jess was gone. Lars sighed and opened his eyes. Just as well. Best not to keep doing this kind of thing. He didn’t have time to get involved with anybody. He had a two-year-old to raise and a business to run. Not to mention his demonstrably lousy taste in women. So what if Jess Carroll seemed terrific—hadn’t Sherice seemed terrific at first?
Actually, now that he remembered it, she hadn’t. Just hot. And his own overheated gonads had done the rest, convincing his brain that her inability to hold a conversation for more than five minutes made her intriguing rather than scary.
Lars shook his head to clear it. He wouldn’t make that mistake again with anybody. Daisy deserved better than that.
But Daisy liked Jess. And Daisy wasn’t crazy about Sherice, even though she was her mother. Yet another reason to fight any try for custody changes. Of course, if Sherice found out about him and Jess, she’d use it against him somehow. Lars felt a chill around his heart. Why hadn’t he thought any of this through before he’d lured Jess into his bed the first time?
Enough
. He pulled on his sweatpants and a T-shirt and went searching for his hostess.
He found her sitting in the dining room, cradling Jack in her arms as she nursed him. Sunlight streamed through the window, turning her hair into dull gold and picking out the red flecks in Jack’s light brown fuzz. Lars stared at the creamy swell of her breast against the baby’s lips.
She was the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen, and he was clearly a pervert.
He dropped to the floor beside her chair. “Morning.”
“Hi.” She smiled down at him. “He wanted breakfast and I didn’t want him to wake you.”
“What about you? Did you get enough sleep?”
“No, but that comes with the territory.” Her smile turned wry. “I’ll sleep when he’s eighteen. Or maybe not, given the kind of things I got into when I was eighteen.”
“How often do you nurse him?”
“I’m down to two or three times a day now. I’m trying to wean him, but it’s going slowly. Life would sure be easier for both of us if he’d move on to bottles.”
Lars glanced at the baby’s face. His eyes were closed in bliss as he drank. Lars had the feeling Jack wouldn’t be weaning himself any time soon, not that he blamed him a bit.
“Did your wife nurse Daisy?”
“Sherice? She has implants. She said they made nursing impossible.”
That might even have been true, although by then he’d learned not to put much stock in most of the things Sherice claimed.
“Oh.” Jess ran a hand over Jack’s head, stroking his hair. “I didn’t think I’d want to do this before he was born, then I tried it and here we are. What’s your wife like?”
“Ex-wife,” Lars corrected automatically. “Sherice looks like every rich man’s second wife. Very blonde, very thin, very stacked. I was her starter husband.”
She glanced down at him again, raising an eyebrow.
He shrugged. “What can I say? I was an idiot. But I got Daisy out of it, so it wasn’t all bad.”
“Does she get Daisy for vacations?”
“Nope. I have full custody of Daisy. Sherice has full custody of the money. Most of it. Although she tells me it’s still not enough.”
Jess frowned. “She gave up custody? How could she give up custody of Daisy?”
“A kid would probably slow her down. Sherice has plans. Besides, she and Daisy don’t get along all that well. From Sherice’s point of view it was definitely win-win.”
Careful. Take it down a notch.
Usually, he was able to keep the anger out of his voice, but he had a feeling it was going to surface any minute now. And he’d prefer that Jess didn’t think he was some kind of embittered loser in the Divorce Wars. He pushed himself to his feet. “Want some coffee?”
“Sure. As soon as Jack finishes I’ll make some.”
“I’ll fix it.” Lars headed into the kitchen, checking the clock before he remembered.
Thanksgiving. Cal and Docia’s. Ten o’clock start time. And the clock said eight-thirty. Given the amount of time it took to get the average baby ready for traveling, they needed to get a move on.
Which meant no mid-morning rematch.
Well, hell.
Jess told herself it was all in her head. No one had any idea what they’d been up to last night. It wasn’t like she had
Wicked Widow
tattooed on her forehead. Nonetheless, she found herself checking all the Toleffsons for sideways glances, even though she didn’t immediately see any.
Cal and Docia lived in a wonderful converted barn with high ceilings and planked pine floors. A sleeping loft extended overhead, while the lower story had an open combination living room-dining room-kitchen layout. Right now the whole place smelled of turkey and cinnamon and butter. Jess had a sudden memory of her mother in the kitchen stirring green beans. Probably the last Thanksgiving before she died. Her throat tightened, and she pulled Jack closer.
Janie took the bread from Lars while Docia held out her arms for Jack. He took one look at her and dimpled. Jess had the feeling most men probably did the same thing when they saw Docia.
“Come here, sweetie,” Docia cooed, rubbing her nose against Jack’s forehead. He promptly grabbed a double handful of her bright red curls.
“Where’s Daisy?” Lars asked.
“Out in back with the herd.” Docia motioned toward the back door, then led the way herself.
Outside in the back yard, Cal and Pete stood in the midst of what looked like a pack of dogs. After a moment, the pack resolved itself into a Chihuahua, a greyhound, and one very active blue tick puppy.
“Daddy,” Daisy shrieked, “come see! It’s Sweetie!”
Sweetie galloped to Daisy’s side at the sound of her voice, reaching up to swipe her face enthusiastically with his tongue. Daisy threw her arms around his neck as Cal grinned at them.
Jess stepped out on the back deck with Lars. “Does that mean Sweetie’s well enough to come home with us?”
Cal nodded. “He seems to be feeling okay, but you’ll need to keep an eye on him. Just to be on the safe side.”
Sweetie galloped toward the Chihuahua, who backed up in alarm. The greyhound barked sharply.
Pete sighed. “Settle down everybody. He won’t hurt you.” He raised a questioning eyebrow at Cal. “Will he?”
Cal shrugged. “Pep can take care of himself. So can Olive. They’ll get the pecking order straightened out among themselves.”
“Which is which?” Jess asked.
Lars pointed. “Pep is Cal’s Chihuahua. Olive is Pete’s greyhound. There’s also a cat hanging around somewhere who belongs to Docia, but my guess is we won’t see him until the dogs settle down.”
In the backyard, Daisy started after Sweetie, only to have her Uncle Cal sweep her into his arms. “Hold on, babe, the dogs have to get things worked out first. We don’t want you to get snapped at.”
Daisy gave him an affronted look. “Sweetie won’t hurt me. Sweetie loves me.”
“So do I, babe, which is why I’m taking you to your father.”
Cal placed Daisy on his shoulders and headed back toward the deck again. “Hey, bro, got a delivery for you.”
“Daddy,” Daisy trilled, “did you miss me?”
Jess managed not to look at Lars.
“Sure,” he said in a hearty voice. “Come here, sweetheart.” He lifted her from Cal’s shoulders and placed her on the deck next to them.
Cal stepped next to Docia, gazing down at Jack in her arms. “Hey, there.”
Jack gave him another of his miraculous grins, showing his tiny pearl teeth. Cal glanced up at Docia. For a moment, their gazes met—she gave him a faint smile.
“Can I?” Cal raised an eyebrow at Jess, extending his hands to Jack.
“Sure.”
Cal slid his hands under Jack’s arms, tossing him quickly in the air and catching him. Jack squealed delightedly.
Docia’s eyes widened. “Cal! Be careful.”
“I am. Come on, big guy, let’s go meet the pups.” He tucked Jack under his arm and started back down the steps, pursued by Daisy and Lars.
Docia sighed. “Typical. I guess that means we go back inside and take care of the food.”
Jess watched the shifting tableau of guys, kids, and dogs, feeling her throat tighten again. Probably best not to stand out here and think about families and what kind of holidays she’d be able to offer Jack in the future. She turned and followed Docia back inside.
More people showed up a few minutes later. A Rubenesque woman with short dark hair and laughing eyes whom Docia introduced as Allie Maldonado, accompanied by a thin man in horn-rims everyone called Wonder. A middle-aged woman in a fluorescent purple sweatshirt who was Janie’s mother, Mrs. Dupree. A man with a walrus moustache whom everyone called Horace who apparently owned the veterinary hospital with Cal. And Horace’s wife Bethany, whom Janie recognized as the woman she’d met at the clinic the day they’d picked up Sweetie.
Janie smiled contentedly. “Mob scene, isn’t it? I love big Thanksgivings. It’s the perfect excuse to cook more food than anyone can eat. And then try to eat it anyway.”
Jess helped place the silverware on the long table Docia had set up in the dining room, then sliced her bread loaves and put them into baskets while Janie stirred gravy and Docia corralled a Toleffson to carve the turkey.
Lars made a great show of running the carving knife along a sharpening steel.
Jess turned to Janie. “Not Cal?”
“Cal’s a vegetarian,” Janie explained. “But he doesn’t mind the rest of us having turkey. Lars must have won the toss with Pete. Both of them like to carve.”
There was, as promised, more food than everyone could eat spread out on the table in the kitchen for people to serve themselves before they headed to the dining room. Turkey, dressing with and without oysters, mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, corn with chilies, a huge relish tray and several variations on cranberries and Jell-O. Lars set up Jack’s highchair at the table and Docia pulled it between her chair and Jess’s.
“He’s kind of a messy eater,” Jess cautioned. “You may not want him too close. In fact, you might want to put some newspapers underneath his chair.”
Docia grinned. “I’m not all that neat myself. We can be slobs together. The floor can take it.”
Lars sat beside Jess, wedging Daisy in her booster seat on an adjoining chair. “Docia, the two of us could take the kids into the kitchen. That way you wouldn’t have to have them at the table.”
Jess thought he sounded a little hopeful.
“Nonsense,” Docia said briskly. “We’re family. Everybody at the big kids table, right, Daisy?”
Daisy grinned up at her. Black curls bouncing, with a few bits of straw here and there. “Yes, ma’am.”
Dinner was chaotic and delicious. Jess put bits of green bean on Jack’s tray so that he could practice his small motor skills, and Docia managed to spoon a lot of mashed sweet potatoes and minced turkey into his mouth. Lars cut up Daisy’s meat and buttered her bread, wedging some green beans between the servings of dressing and cranberry sauce and discouraging her from a third helping of the candied yams with marshmallows that Janie’s mom had brought.
“Allie,” Janie cried midway through the meal. “What’s that on your hand?”
Jess turned from Jack and his beans to see Allie Maldonado blush to the roots of her dark hair. She held up her left hand to show a smallish diamond ring. “From Steve.”
Next to her, Wonder turned an even darker shade of pink. The room was absolutely silent.
Then Docia and Janie were both on their feet, rushing around the table to hug Allie and admire her ring, while Horace thumped Wonder on the back so enthusiastically Jess was afraid he might have a coughing fit.
Lars raised an eyebrow at Wonder. “Nice going. I assume you finally decided against the skillet.”
“On the contrary.” Allie turned away from the women admiring her ring to give Lars a smug smile. “He got me a complete set. All-Clad. Stainless steel.”
Wonder shrugged. “I figure the ring is for her, the skillets are for me. The wedding is for both of us.”
“You cook?” Jess tried not to sound incredulous.
“I eat.” Wonder reached for another serving of yams, smiling happily.
Dessert was courtesy of Allie, and Jess could understand Wonder’s enthusiasm for her cooking. Pumpkin, mincemeat, and blackberry pies. Cranberry nut bars. Homemade toffee.
“I may need to walk home,” Jess murmured to Lars.
“Me, too. Maybe Daisy can drive.”
There was a knock and then the front door swung open. An unmistakable Toleffson male stood framed by the afternoon sunlight—Erik, wearing his khaki uniform with a dark leather jacket. He cleared his throat. “Hi. Are we too late?”
“Erik! Come on in,” Docia called. “You want some turkey? We just started dessert, so you can work backward.”
Erik glanced around the table. “That’s okay. We can’t stay long. I’m on duty in an hour. Just wanted to say hello.”
Another, much smaller figure appeared beside him in the door. Erik slid an arm around her shoulders, pushing her forward gently. “Everybody, this is Dahlia Lawrence. I think she knows a lot of you already from the Dew Drop.”
Dahlia had black hair that ended in bright blue tips. Silver studs lined the ridges of her ears and she wore a ring through one eyebrow. She looked like she was maybe five feet tall if she stood straight, although at the moment she was cringing at Erik’s side. Daisy stared at her, fascinated. Jess wondered if she was considering future ways to drive her father to drink.
“Hi, Dahlia.” Janie walked toward her, extending her hand. “I’m Janie. Erik’s other sister-in-law.”
Dahlia muttered something that sounded a little like “Pleased to meet you”. From her expression, Jess half-expected her to hide behind Erik rather than take Janie’s hand.