Beautiful Distraction (17 page)

It was all a mistake.
It was all a mistake. It was all a mistake.

The way the same sentence keeps circling inside my brain, I
could swear it’s some sort of mantra. Or one of those songs that, once you hear
it on the radio, you simply can’t get out of your head.

It was all a mistake.

It’s like invisible strings keep me tied to that one memory,
forcing me to watch it on replay over and over again.

Needless to say, I’m up all night, my sleep evading me as my
brain keeps replaying the same events, like a broken record.

I’m up at dawn, staring out the window at the rising sun.
Stripes of pink and purple streak the sky in the distance, the colors not
matching my mood. I’m tired and yet restless from all the frustration building
up inside me.

It’s going to be a very sunny morning, yet I don’t know how
to face the day.

It depresses me to no end that I cannot be outside, taking a
walk, enjoying the scenery, out of fear that I might meet Kellan.

I’ve never been so on edge, every part of me sensitive, my
body begging for release. Obviously, I don’t need a cocky, self-centered guy to
do it for me.

I know which buttons to press to make myself come.

The trouble is that if I so much as touch myself, Kellan will
be all I can think about. Consequently, I’d rather deny myself the pleasure
than inflate his oversized ego even more—even though he’d most certainly
never find out.

It’s after six a.m. when I head for the kitchen. I need my
morning cup of coffee, and no man can keep it from me. Secretly, I hope Kellan
and Mandy are still sleeping at this ungodly hour.

But just to be on the safe side, I’ll be quick about making
the coffee, and then return to my bedroom.

The kitchen door’s ajar, and the clinking sounds of a
teaspoon stirring something inside a cup carries over. I’m about to turn around
and walk back to my room when I hear the sound of a chair pulling.

“Good morning. You’re not avoiding me, are you?” Kellan
calls from inside.

I can’t see his expression. But I can hear the amusement in
his voice, and it irritates the hell out of me. Raising my head high, I step
through the doorway into the kitchen and head straight for the coffee maker.

“Avoiding you?” I laugh, squeezing as much nonchalance into
my voice as I can. Though I’m pretty crap at the nonchalance part. “You wish. I
slept in. I hadn’t slept in in ages, so I thought I’d use the opportunity.”

“You call getting up at six a.m. sleeping in?”

“I usually get up at five.” That part’s a lie. I spend so
many late nights at the office that I rarely make it home before midnight and
often don’t get up before ten a.m.

I help myself to a cup of coffee, deliberately avoiding
Kellan’s penetrating stare, which is burning a hole in my back.

“Judging from the way you look, I doubt you had an ounce of
sleep. You were probably too busy thinking about my dick inside you.”

I almost jump in my skin when I feel Kellan’s breath on my
earlobe.

Holy shit!

Does he
have
to
stand so close? And does he
have
to
be so crude?

The guy’s obviously never heard the term personal space, or
why else would he keep invading it?

“You should have asked me to help you out.” His finger
traces down the nape of my neck, scorching my skin. “I’m always happy to
oblige.”

I step aside too quickly and manage to spill half of my
coffee over the counter and down the front of my shirt.

“Aaaah.” A faint yelp escapes my lips. “It’s hot.”

“Let me help you,” Kellan says, amused. Before I can realize
what’s happening, his fingers are busy undoing the buttons of my blouse and
pushing it aside to reveal my bra.

“Seriously?” I ask. “That was so not necessary.”

“Pouring coffee over yourself can easily result in first-degree
burns.”

He grabs a napkin and is patting the liquid off my chest.
His green eyes are glued to my breasts, and he licks his lips lasciviously. The
way he looks at me, I feel stripped bare of my clothes, completely exposed to
his gaze and touch.

I should slap him, but instead I find myself strangely
aroused.

No one’s ever looked at me with so much want.

No one’s made me instantly hot for him.

Is that his thing? Making a woman feel wanted so she’ll
gladly part her legs for him?

Even if it is…oh, fuck it!

My fingers wrap around his hand, but instead of pushing him
away, I press it against my chest, holding him in place.

Our eyes connect, and my breath hitches.

Something passes between us.

I don’t know what it is. I only know that it makes my head
spin.

“I’m already burned,” I whisper.

“So am I.”

His lips come closer to mine, until his mouth is less than
an inch away. I can feel his hot breath. I’m wondering what he tastes like.

In a bold moment, I lick across his upper lip, then pull
back. A feral sound escapes his lips. His hands go roughly around my waist,
pressing me against his body.

He’s hard—just like last night.

“I want you,” he mutters.

He seems surprised, as though feeling that way about a woman
for longer than a few days isn’t usually the case.

“Seems like you didn’t have a good night either,” I say, a
little smug.

“I actually did. Twice.” His hands cup my ass and press me
against him. His erection feels amazing against my core. I moan unwillingly.
“But that was just my warm-up.”

“Ava?” Mandy’s voice calling from the hall rattles me.

I push Kellan aside and walk past him, my face on fire, just
in time before Mandy’s head pops in.

“I’m in here,” I say needlessly and peer up at her.

The suspicion is written all over Mandy’s face. Heat shoots
up my neck to my cheeks as I realize I’m only wearing my bra, holding my blouse
in my hand.

I turn away, but I’m pretty sure you can see my blush from a
mile.

“What were you two up to?” Mandy asks casually, like she
hasn’t seen us in ages and is trying to catch up.

I’m pretty sure she can see that I’m half naked.

“Breakfast,” Kellan says.

Wow, he’s the god of casual.

I dare to peek at him. He’s leaning against a counter with
his arms crossed across his chest, his biceps bulging. And there’s something
else that’s bulging.

I swallow and peel my gaze off his jeans, albeit
unwillingly.

He’s big. I saw that firsthand when he took care of his
needs. I noticed it again last night, but I hadn’t realized just how huge he is
until now.

And he’s making no secret out of his erection. Apparently,
he doesn’t give a damn about the fact that everyone can see it.

“Eggs Benedict for me, please,” Mandy says and takes a seat
at the table, arm outstretched, as though she’s waiting for someone to hand her
a cup of coffee.

“Those are Lila’s, my best hen.” Kellan holds up a bowl with
eggs. “I don’t have a Benedict.”

I snort and immediately press a hand against my mouth to
stifle it. He has a sense of humor. I like that. Our gazes meet, and something
passes between us again. Heat gathers between my legs, and the same slow
throbbing sensation from last night returns with a vengeance.

Oh, God. What is it with this guy and my chemical reactions
to him?

It’s like I’m a walking pill of female Viagra.

“What about you, Ava?” Kellan asks softly.

The way he says my name, I swear the temperature has just
risen a few degrees.

“I’ll take whatever you have.”

Our gazes remain locked.

He moistens his lower lip.

I can see the wet trail on it and wish we were alone so I
could run my tongue over it and taste him the way I’ve wanted ever since
meeting him.

His thoughts mirror mine. I can see it from the way his gaze
brushes my bra and lingers there—way too long. He’s not even subtle about
it.

Under different circumstances, he’d probably say something
way too inappropriate, but he won’t with Mandy present. I’m not sure whether to
be grateful to her or annoyed to the point of kicking her ass out of the
kitchen.

“What happened last night? You two disappeared outside, and
when you came back, you couldn’t get away fast enough,” Mandy says, drawing my
attention back to her.

I could kill her for being so direct.

Instead of following my murderous urges, I sit down at the
table and try to focus on someone other than Kellan for a change. “Nothing
happened. I was tired.”

Kellan shoots me a strange look. I grimace at him, lest he
open that arrogant mouth of his and say all the wrong things, and take a sip of
my coffee.

“I think it was all a bit too much for Ava,” Kellan says.
“She didn’t expect everything to be so intense.”

I almost choke on my coffee. In an attempt to hide it, I
hold my breath to stifle the scratching sensation in my throat until my eyes
begin to water.

I can’t believe the audacity.

“You don’t have to talk about me in the third person,
Kellan,” I say. “I’m right here.”

Of course, he’d think his tongue is God’s gift to the female
clitoris.

“So, what did you do out there?” Mandy asks, her usual
prying self.

I peer at Kellan, who’s looking at me, brows still raised in
amusement.

Dammit!

He’s letting me do all the hard work.

“Talking,” I say.

Kellan lets out a most irritating snort, and I shoot him a
murderous look.

Now Mandy will never believe me.

“Hmm. I bet,” she says and stares right at me.

I shrug and remain silent as Kellan fills our cups.

“Anyway, guys, I have an announcement to make,” Mandy says
and takes a sip of her coffee. “I’m leaving today.”

I stare at her. “What are you
talking about?”

“Well, I wanted to talk to you
last night, but you wouldn’t open the door. I wanted to tell you that Josh, his
cousin—” She points to Kellan. “—is taking a trip to Helena. I want
to go with him.”

I shake my head, confused. “But
that’s not where the gig takes place.”

“I know,” Mandy says. “I’ll be
back in time to see Mile High.”

“What about…our plan?”

And me?
I want to yell.

Mandy shrugs. “You wanted a
vacation. That’s exactly what you’re getting. Kellan will take good care of
you. Won’t you?” She slaps his shoulder to get his attention.

“I’ll make sure to feed her,”
Kellan says and winks at me.

“See?” Mandy says. “Problem taken
care of.”

I stare at both of them, lost for
words.

Is it just my impression, or did
he already know that Mandy was leaving, because he sure doesn’t look
particularly surprised?

“Can I talk to you?” My fingers clutch
around Mandy’s upper arm, and I yank hard.

“Sure.”

She leads me to the privacy of her
bedroom. I realize all her things are packed.

“What’s up?” she asks as soon as
the door’s closed.

“We’ve barely been here for a day,
and now you want to leave again? What happened? Why the sudden change of heart?
What happened to our vacation in a five-star hotel?”

“You said you weren’t keen on it,”
Mandy says.

“Yes, but that was back home. I never
said I wanted to stay here either.”

Mandy stares at me. “Look, this is
your one opportunity to bury the past. You can’t stay single forever just
because one guy let you down.”

I let out a snort. “Kellan and I
don’t have a relationship. He’s not even into relationships.”

“Yet,” she says slowly.

“It’s not going to happen. Ever.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Trust me, I know.”

She sets her jaw. I can almost see
the sappy scenes from The Notebook playing before her eyes. She wants a happy
ending so desperately, it’s ridiculous. “That’s not what Josh said.”

“What
did
he say?” I ask warily.

“I think you should hear it from
Kellan. I’m sorry, Ava, but I have to do this. I promise I’ll be back soon.”

She hugs me tight and quickly lets go, dragging her suitcase
behind her as she leaves. I dash for my room to grab a clean shirt before I
sprint after her.

Through the window in the hallway, I watch Mandy get into
Josh’s pickup truck and leave. I could head after her, beg, force her into
staying, and yet I’m doing none of those things.

As soon as she’s gone, I return to the kitchen.

“You knew she was planning on leaving, didn’t you?”

“She talked to me yesterday. You never gave her a chance to
tell you.” Kellan’s leaning against the kitchen counter, his arms crossed over
his chest. “Why did
you
leave last
night?”

“I was tired.”

“Really?” He raises his eyebrows, amused. “So you say.
However, I got a different impression. You feel a strong need to run from me.”

“Who’s running? I’m not.” I jut my chin out and regard him
through narrowed eyes. “I could have asked Mandy to take me with her, you
know?”

“But you didn’t.”

“No, I didn’t. I chose to stay.” I grimace, doubting the
sanity of my decision.

A smile lights up his face. “I wonder why?”

Yeah, why indeed?

My traitorous stomach growls.

“Someone’s hungry,” Kellan says. “Come on, I’ll make you a
real breakfast, even though I shouldn’t because I liked you better with only
your bra on.” He points at my clean shirt.

“I can make my own breakfast.” I turn my back to him,
suddenly nervous as realization dawns on me.

We are alone. In his house.

“Let me. I’m the host.” Before I can protest, Kellan’s
standing next to me, arms on either side of me as he begins to fumble around
for stuff, his hard body brushing against me at every opportunity.

Oh, for crying out
loud!

It’s his kitchen. Unless he’s just suffered from a major
case of amnesia, there’s no way he doesn’t know where he’s placed all the stuff
he apparently needs.

Mandy’s barely been gone a few minutes, and I’m already
caught between a kitchen counter and this statue of a man, his breath on my
neck.

“You know what, I think I’ll just grab some cookies on my
way out,” I say.

“What kind?”

Kellan laughs, the sound low and so erotic, it travels all the
way down and settles between my legs.

Turning around, I press my hands against his hard abs and
push, but he doesn’t budge from the spot.

Now I’m really stuck.

“What do you want?” I whisper, my voice too low, too hoarse
for my liking.

“You. All to myself.” He doesn’t even need to think. His
words come out fast and casual, and completely take me off guard.

I peer all the way up into his green gaze, lost for words.

“You want me. I want you. We’re both consenting adults. We’re
all alone on a big farm. What’s the harm?” Kellan continues.

Yes, what’s the harm indeed?

He’s so gorgeous it takes my breath away.

The kind you fuck, and then discard.

I’m a successful, mature woman who can handle a bit of sex
without getting her feelings involved.

“Let me guess, no strings attached?” I can’t believe I’m
even considering this when I should be smacking him.

“No strings attached.” His eyes bore into me. His gaze is so
penetrating, I can almost feel him inside my core, and he isn’t even touching
me. “That’s all I’ll ever be able to give you.”

“I don’t even know you,” I say stupidly, like people only
sleep with people after having read their résumé. “I shouldn’t be staying here
alone with you.”

“You knew me well enough to let me go down on you,” Kellan
remarks.

My jaw drops.

“The way I see it, you don’t need to know me to fuck me,”
Kellan says. “So, what do you say? You get the vacation you wanted, and I get
to teach you all about sex. Good sex.”

I have no doubt about that. Like my mother once said, guys like
him are the building blocks of the fond memories that keep us all wet and
writhing through years of doomed marriages and monotony.

I sigh.

If I’m to enter something I’ve never experienced before, I need
to do it on my own terms.

“Tell me something about you,” I say.

“What do you want to know, Ava?”

“Are you dating anyone?”

“I told you I’m single. I’m a lot of things, but not a
cheater,” Kellan says.

I stare at him as I try to read his features. His expression
is honest. Suddenly, the million obstacles in my head seem to evaporate. “Good.
Because I don’t condone cheating.”

“Because of the ex you told me about?”

I shrug, as though it’s not a big deal when it is. A huge
one. “It’s the past. A long time ago. Doesn’t matter. There were others since.
Nothing serious though.”

His eyes narrow slightly, but he doesn’t press the issue,
for which I’m grateful. My demons are mine to exorcize.

“Anything else you want to know?” Kellan prompts.

I shrug and look away, as though I’m pondering over
possibilities and choices, when in fact I know exactly what I want to know.
“What were you doing in New York?”

I could have asked anything in the world, and yet the one
question he evaded before is the one I need answered.

Because to fuck him, I need to trust him. I need to trust
that he’s open and honest.

His stance changes instantly. His shoulders are tense as he
turns away from me. “Business.”

“What kind of business?” I persist.

“Ava.” His tone is clipped, betraying his hesitation and
inner turmoil. I know it’s not my place to ask, and it’s most certainly none of
my business, but I can’t just
not
know
anything about him. I can’t be detached like that. My body might not mind, but
my head doesn’t work that way.

Our gazes meet in a fierce but silent battle. For a split
second, his eyes shimmer with stubbornness. Irritation. Even animosity.

I speak first. “I need to be able to trust you.”

He blows out a breath and rakes his fingers through his
hair, the tension in his shoulders magnifying. “Let’s just say bad
interpersonal decisions. Relationships are great as long as they don’t turn
bad. And in the end, all turn to dust.”

Marriage?

Imminent divorce?

I wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t.

I guess that’s all the answer I’ll get.

“So, what do we do about that guy who hurt you?” A lazy
smile creeps up his face, and just like that, all the tension seems to
evaporate from him.

God, I love it when he smiles. It’s like we’re the only two
people in the world and his smile is only for me.

“You can’t beat up a guy, Kellan. But thank you for the
offer.”

His arms wrap around my waist, and he pulls me a little
closer to him. My breasts are pressed against his chest, my nipples instantly
beading at contact. My world begins to spin just a little bit from the way he
looks at me—all heat and want and carefreeness.

This doesn’t mean anything.

We don’t mean anything.

The thought is strangely arousing. Just being with
him—not for who he is, but for his body, for having my needs
fulfilled—is exciting.

Kellan’s lips come closer to mine. His breath smells of mint
and coffee as he brushes his lips over mine ever so gently.

“Want me to make you come again?” he whispers against them.
“I could do it right here, right now. I know it wasn’t nearly enough last
night.”

“Now?” I’m so up for it, my breath catches in my chest. All
I can do is press my lips against his, my mouth opening slightly to grant him
access.

“Yes, now. Your lessons start today.”

His mouth comes crashing down on me instantly, his tongue
forcing its way into my mouth slowly but decisively. Pressed against him, I can
feel his body with every fiber of my being.

He’s hard for me, and possessive—just like his kiss.

His length is pressing into my abdomen, reminding me of what
I’ve been missing for over a year. My nerve endings are on fire; my body’s
instantly awake.

My moan is stifled by his exploring mouth.

His hands slide around from the small of my back to my hips,
and in one swift motion, he lifts me up until I’m seated on the kitchen
counter. I open my legs for him and wrap them around his hips, mentally
swearing at the fact that I’m wearing jeans.

“You know your friend could change her mind about her trip,
right?” Kellan says, drawing back just a little bit. The edges of his mouth tug
up in a half smile.

Of course, I know that.

“But she won’t,” I say. “She loves anything resembling a
city way too much. Why do you care?”

He shrugs, grinning. “I don’t. But you might.”

That’s my reason to back off, and yet I bury my fingers in
his hair and arch my back.

 
“You’re damn hot
when you do that.”

“Do what?” I run my tongue over his lower lip, the way I’ve
envisioned doing ever since meeting him.

He groans and tightens his grip on my hips. His hardness
jerks slightly against my abdomen, tenting the fabric of his jeans. Its warmth
seeping through my clothes is like an electric current, searing wherever it
touches me, gathering in that slow pulsating sensation in my clit.

“Did you make yourself come again last night?” he asks in
that drawl of his that screams sex.

“No.” The word comes out too breathy, too fast. I can tell
from the way he looks at me that he doesn’t believe me. “No,” I say more
slowly, avoiding his gaze.

“Why not?”

Because for some
reason, it wouldn’t have felt like you were doing it to me.

I shrug. “Didn’t feel like it.”

“We both know you’re lying.”

Without any forewarning, Kellan pulls back and helps me down
from the counter, his eyes roaming my body, drinking me in. His hair is a
disheveled mess, but it looks good on him. His lips are slightly swollen from
our kiss. I bet I look just as affected, but the disheveled look probably
doesn’t suit me as much as him.

“What?” My hands shoot up to straighten my clothes.

“I’m considering where to fuck you. Right now, I’m thinking
it’s either against the kitchen counter or on the table.” His fingers begin to
fumble with the zipper on my jeans. “Or I could do both.”

My breath catches in my throat as I watch him walk over to
the door and lock up, then sit down on a chair.

Holy shit!

Who the fuck has a lock on the door in the kitchen?

Someone who isn’t doing this for the first time.

“Take off all your clothes. I want to see you naked.”

I stare at him, unsure if I’ve heard him right. “It’s the
middle of the day, Kellan.”

Think light streaming in through the window, bathing the
kitchen in glaring brightness. I’m not usually the self-conscious type, but
this is way too much light for presenting yourself naked to a man like him.

“Strip, Ava.” His tone is sharp, demanding. “I’m not
expecting a lap dance.” His eyes glint, and the corners of his lips curl upward.
“Not yet anyway. But I want you to do as I say when I say it.”

I shouldn’t be letting a guy tell me what to do,
particularly not when I’m uncomfortable with his demand. But his charge is
strangely arousing. Slowly, I unbutton my shirt and slide out of it, letting it
fall into a bundle at my feet. Holding my breath, I pull my jeans down my hips
and remove my bra. My breasts spill out, my nipples already beaded, ready to be
sucked into his mouth.

I don’t remove my panties. Fighting the urge to cover my
breasts with my hands, I just stand there a few feet from Kellan, waiting for
his reaction.

He takes a sharp breath and moistens his lips.

“Damn.” That’s all he says.

Damn good? Damn bad? Damn nice weather?

I raise my brows. “Care to be more specific?”

He doesn’t.

“The panties.” He gestures at my lace panties impatiently.
“Take them off.”

Sighing, I strip out of them and let them fall to my feet.
Now I’m completely naked, exposed to his ardent scrutiny.

He takes his time running his gaze over my body, taking in
every inch of me. His breathing is raspy.

“Come here,” he says eventually, and I amble over, stopping
right in front of him.

He stands, towering over me as he leans forward to whisper
in my ear while his leg moves to part my knees, “Show me how wet you are.”

It’s not a question; it’s a statement, as though he knows
just how eager I am to have him inside me. As though he’d expect nothing else
from me.

His fingers send shivers down my spine as they trail down my
abdomen and settle at my entrance. My breath hitches, caught in my chest like a
trapped bird. Holding my breath, I spread my legs a little wider to grant him
easy access.

“You’re dripping. So ready.” Slowly, he dips the tip of one
finger into me and then lifts it to his mouth and licks my moisture off it. “I
like the way you taste and smell. I’ll like your slickness even more around my
cock.”

Oh, God.

No one’s ever talked like this to me before.