Gage stared
out at the open ocean. I wasn’t sure if he was going to say
anything then he finally spoke, “I have known all along I wasn’t
who you wanted. I hoped if I loved you enough for both of us it
would be enough to make you happy. I wanted us to be a family
although the moment I saw Larkin running into the hospital in New
York I knew I lost. It was only a matter of time before you
realized he was the one you wanted. I tried everything possible to
make you happy, I’m just not him.”
Gage rose and
took a few steps away. I dusted the sand from my hands and stood
and walked to where Gage was. Gage pulled me into a hug and kissed
my temple. “I love you but I need to let you go.”
Nodding I
dropped my arms, sliding my engagement ring off and mumbled, “Love
you too.” I handed Gage the ring as his eyes filled with tears and
he turned, walking away from me. I watched Gage until I couldn’t
see him anymore. I was finally letting my past go, for
good.
I sank into
the sand as the sun set and darkness took over. Drawing in the sand
I let the memories of my dad take over. He didn’t have to be the
dad he was, since I technically wasn’t his. He could have treated
me differently, but he didn’t. I was daddy’s little girl. I would
miss him but I knew he would always be with me.
Knowing my dad
would always be with me gave me the strength to face my demons and
let go of my past. I couldn’t hold onto Jacob and what he did
anymore. I had a healthy, happy, and beautiful little girl who
needed me. All of me. I drew Jacobs name in the sand and watched as
the salty water washed it away, making the sand new again. Just
like me, my life. I was letting things go and starting
new.
“
Gage said I would find you here.” Larkin’s deep voice ran
down my spine, causing me to shiver.
“
Just thinking. The beach has always been my escape,” I
said.
Larkin sat
beside me and grabbed a handful of sand before asking, “What are
you thinking about?”
I smiled when
I answered, “My dad. My family. Us. And that I think I could
possibly, kinda sorta, may be in love with you.”
Larkin dropped
the sand and faced me. “You what?”
Laughing I
said, “I am totally and completely in love with you, Larkin.
Reading the letter my dad wrote me made me realize that I can’t
lose you. I want us to be a family. I want to be with you and raise
our daughter. I talked to Gage and I’m letting go of my past. I
won’t allow Jacob to hurt me anymore or hold me back. I guess
sometimes you have to be with the wrong person to realize who the
perfect person is. My past is something that will always be there
but from now on I won’t let it control me. Nothing is holding me
back from telling you I love you.”
Larkin grabbed
my face and smashed his lips to mine. “Jenna, it’s about damn time.
I am so fucking in love with you and our daughter.”
“
Larkin, I’m not a perfect girl. I’m going to screw up and
piss you off. I’m going to annoy you and say stupid shit but no one
will love you like I do. You’re the one for me.”
Running his
thumb across my lips he smiled and pulled something from his
pocket. Larkin looked in my eyes and said, “My mom gave me this
months ago and I kept it hoping one day I could give it to you.
Jenna, you saved me. You made me want to become something and make
something of myself. You gave me the best thing in life, being a
daddy to Evie. I want to spend forever with you and making you feel
how you make me feel. I am so in love you with and our little girl.
Will you marry me?”
Looking down
to Larkin’s hand I saw a gorgeous three carat princess cut diamond
surrounded by tiny diamonds and two half carat diamonds on each
side. The band was also covered in diamonds, it was the perfect
ring. “It was my grandma’s. When she died she left it to my mom. My
mom and Cobie talked and wanted you to have it. I’ve been holding
onto this for months. I was hoping one day you would marry me and
spend forever by my side. So, what do you say?”
Wiping my
tears I said the only thing I could, “Hell yes!”
Larkin slipped
the ring on my finger and jerked me to him. Grabbing my face he
covered my mouth with his, slowly kissing me. He let all his love
for me show through this one kiss.
Wrapping my
arms around his neck I leaned back so I was lying in the sand and
Larkin was leaning over me.
“
Jenna, you sure?” Larkin hesitantly asked.
Biting my
bottom lip I smirked as I asked, “You love me right?”
“
Fuck yes,” Larkin grunted.
“
Then make love to me. Right here, right now.”
Larkin slipped
one hand under my sundress and slid my panties down my legs. Using
both of my hands I undid his belt and shorts, sliding them along
with his boxers. Grabbing his erection I ran my hand up and down.
Hearing Larkin sucking in air between his clinched teeth instantly
had me wet and ready.
Larkin slipped
two fingers into me and made the ‘come here’ motion. That alone had
me clinging to him ready to explode. Digging my nails into his
shoulders I said breathlessly, “Please, I need to feel
you.”
“
I
need all of you, this time it’s different baby. It’s not just about
getting off, this time it’s about us and our love. I want to take
it slow.” Larkin whispered into my ear.
Bringing his
hands up to steady himself, I brought my legs up to rest on his
hips. Watching his arms flex as he slowly slid into me had me
wanting more. Larkin brought his lips down to mine. Running his
tongue along my bottom lip I opened my mouth, letting our tongues
explore each other’s mouths.
Larkin
released my mouth and leaned up. Keeping his slow pace he gazed
down at me. “You are everything, Jenna. I love you infinity.” Using
one hand he found my swollen clit and rubbed it slowly in
circles.
“
I
love you too, Larkin. Infinity.” Breathlessly I said, “I’m so close
Larkin, I don’t know how much longer I can go.”
Smiling Larkin
said, “I want to get off when you do. There is nothing better than
finding pleasure the same time as you.”
That was all
it took, Larkin’s words as he slid in one more time. We both clung
to each other, our mouths covering one another’s.
I was so in
love with this man. There was no one I’d rather spend my life with.
He pissed me off and he was wild, but with him life would be
imperfectly perfect. Exactly what I wanted.
CHAPTER 33
1
YEAR LATER
My day was
finally here. It had been hard for me to get to sleep so, I had
finally given in and texted Gage to see if he wanted one last sleep
over. Of course, he was by my side, always had been and always
would be. We had grown up next door to each other and lived with
each other during his two years in college. He was my rock through
the worst time of my life. When he was drafted he was only two
hours away and after today I would be moving permanently to San
Diego with Larkin.
I felt a soft
kiss on my temple before Gage whispered, "Good morning,
babe."
I had to fight
the tears building up, knowing this would be the last time things
were like this. "Morning."
"I think you
need to get up, the girls will be here soon to whisk you off to do
whatever the fuck it is you girls do when y'all get married. Don't
want you walking down the aisle looking assface ugly."
"Thanks, Gage.
Glad you have my back," I laughed as I rolled over and hugged him.
"I love you."
I climbed out
of my childhood bed and headed for the bathroom. Before I opened my
door I heard Gage whisper, "I will always love you." I don't think
he intended for me to hear, but I did. I just smiled as I crossed
the hall and closed the bathroom door.
I was in my
room after a relaxing shower putting on my 'BRIDE' shirt that my
sister had insisted I wore today. Gage was gone. I looked around my
room that I had basically shared with Gage growing up. Everything
looked the same but yet so different. I walked over to my window
that looked into Gage's room. Something on my desk caught my eye.
Walking over I saw an envelope with a gift bag. I opened the
envelope and found a letter from Gage.
Babe,
I'm
not good at these sorta things so I figured I would write a letter
and tell you how I feel. You’ve been my best friend my whole life.
Now I know I have to let you go, your Larkin's best friend now. I
have loved you since before I knew what love was. No matter where
you go or what you do I will always love you. In some ways you were
my first love and you’re the girl I will never get over and I don't
want to. Having you in my life has shown me what a beautiful thing
it can be. You have my past, present, and future. There will never
be a girl that comes close to you in my eyes. I hope someday I can
find a love like yours and Larkin’s. Maybe you can find me a hot
beach babe in SoCal. I realized when your dad passed away that I'm
not the one you turn to anymore, Larkin is. That’s how it should be
but I'm not going to tell you it doesn't hurt. Seeing you so happy
and in love makes me so happy but also knowing that I'm not that
person anymore sucks. After everything we have been through and
everyone telling us we would be married someday it’s kind of
bittersweet. Thank you for letting me be a part of your day. You
will never realize how much this means to me. I can never be your
dad but giving me the honor to walk you down the aisle to your
future is the biggest honor I will ever receive. Most people don't
understand the love we share. We have been there for each other
through everything life has thrown at us. I will always be by your
side, even if that means standing beside Larkin. You are so lucky
you found a guy like him who gets us and our relationship. That guy
adores you. Nobody will be good enough for you in my eyes but
Larkin is about as close as it’s going to get. You are the perfect
princess in his eyes. So this is me telling you goodbye Jenna
Reylan. Thank you for twenty one years of being my best friend. I
love you more than you know. I will never forget our sleep overs,
late night chats, food fights, crazy drives through the country,
our jam outs, chicken and broccoli alfredo, and the love we shared.
You will always be my number one girl and best friend. I love you,
babe. See you on the beach at six.
Love,
Gage
I had tears
streaming down my face as I folded the letter and put it back into
the envelope. I sniffed and wiped my face with the backs of my
hands before I opened the bag and found a photo album full of
pictures of me and him growing up, college, his NFL draft, Evie as
a newborn and her first year, NFL games, even pictures of us from
the wedding rehearsal last night. I looked into the gift bag again
and saw a blue Tiffany’s bag. There were two jewelry boxes inside
and I pulled them out. The first was a necklace. It was a platinum
key pendant and it had a small blue dragonfly in the key. I opened
the second box and found a bracelet covered in diamonds, almost
looked like 'xoxo'. I loved it. I saw in the bottom of the
tiffany's bag a small post-it note.
The
necklace is the key to my heart and my life. The dragonfly is to
remember our past and chasing them at the old pond. Also to
remember your dad and to remind you he is always with you. The
bracelet is to always let you know I'm here hugging you or giving
you a kiss on the cheek to tell you I love you. Hope you love them
as much as I do, they reminded me of you. Love you always,
Gage
I was wiping
my face again when my door flew open. "Bride Bitch you alive and
ready to go?" Sadie yelled out as she walked into my
room.
"Ugh yeah,
just give me one minute to grab everything." I turned from her to
put everything back into the gift bag.
"Ok the limo
is downstairs so whenever you’re ready we will leave. Your mom said
the caterer would be at the hotel at nine with breakfast and Maggie
would be there then."
"Ok,
thanks."
Sadie walked
out and I grabbed my phone and opened up my text. I wanted to let
Gage know I got his gifts and I loved him.
Just letting you know how amazing you are and that I will
always love you. Thanks for being my best friend and always being
there. You will never know what you mean to me. See you at six.
love you xo
I threw my
phone into my purse and walked out of my childhood room for the
last time as Ms. Reylan. I walked downstairs and saw my mom sitting
on the couch looking at the wedding picture of her and my dad with
my beautiful little girl and Frannie sitting on her lap.
"Hey mom, you
ready?" I asked when I walked into the room.
My mom looked
up with tears in her eyes, "Yep. Just remembering my wedding day.
One of the best days of my life, I loved your dad so much. I hate
that he's not here to see you. He would be so proud of the woman
you have become. He loved you more than life."
I leaned down
and hugged my mom. "Mom, he is here. He is in my heart and watching
from heaven. I remember the day y’all got married. You were a
nervous wreck and dad was afraid you were going to run out on him.
Then after y’all said your vows to each other you turned to me and
said special vows to me. He was the best dad I could have ever
asked for. I miss him too, mom." I picked Evie up off her lap,
kissed her cheek and asked, "How is my princess?"