Beautiful Perfection (Beautifully Unbroken Book 2) (16 page)

I hated him so much when the police had told me that he had been working alongside Sara, it seemed so feasible, so convincing because he always happened to be there, every single time that something would happen to me, Cooper was always standing on the sidelines. I hate that he hid the truth which therefore cost him his life, but had I have known about what he was hiding at that time, then when he died, I would have grieved for him, and I would have stood at his graveside on the day of his funeral because no matter what I think of him now and what I thought of him the weeks leading up to his death, Cooper had been a good friend to me right up until he took Sara under his wing.

I grabbed my robe and headed into the kitchen where Blake was busy making breakfast. He was stood in just his boxers and a t-shirt as he stood facing the stove. I walked straight over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, I heard him put down the pan before he turned to face me and placed his lips to my hair inhaling deeply as he kissed me while his arms wrapped around me; we didn’t speak, we just held each other for a brief moment before he released me and turned his attention back to the stove.

“Breakfast is ready, take a seat and I’ll bring it over.” I couldn’t tell what he was thinking or even if he was mad at me for how I behaved last night. I turned and headed to the table where I sat and watched as he walked over with two plates full of breakfast. He placed my plate in front of me and walked around the table taking the seat opposite.

“We never did get around to eating last night and you need your food, those babies are getting bigger.” I looked up at Blake who gave me a nervous smile before putting a forkful of egg into his mouth.

“This looks lovely, thank you.” I picked up my fork and began to eat, there was no denying that there was an uncomfortable silence growing between us as we both focused on our plates and remained silent. My eyes wondered to the worktop that Blake had been stood at while making breakfast. On top of the worktop were the papers that I had torn and screwed up last night in anger, Blake had somehow fixed them all back together and they now sat in a neat pile.

“Do you forgive him?” Blake asked suddenly as he continued to eat. I looked up but Blake’s eyes were still on his plate of food.

“What?” I asked nervously.

“Cooper. Do you forgive him for everything that he did to you? For drugging you, almost raping you and for keeping everything from you that Sara was doing to make your life a living hell while I wasn’t here to protect you, which in turn made him out to be the hero. Do you forgive Cooper all of those things?” I could hear the fear once again in Blake’s voice, the fear that he had allowed to surface last night, it was still there simmering inside of him.

“No,” I answered simply, Blake finally lifted his gaze to me, he seemed surprised by my answer, he had obviously thought that my tears for Cooper last night were tears of forgiveness. “He will always be the person who drugged me, almost raped me and took in Sara who wanted me dead. No matter what I read last night, I can’t forgive him for trying to play the hero, I could have died on so many different occasions and Cooper being there to stop it from happening doesn’t make him a hero, it makes him a coward. I didn’t cry last night because I forgive him Blake, I cried because I was so furious with him for not doing the right thing. I cried because he made me hate him when we had always been such good friends and because he could see how much I was hurting yet he did nothing about it when he could have put a stop to it at any given second. He wasn’t the hero the day he pushed me from the road Blake, a hero would never have let it get that far, a hero would have done the right thing from the very start. So no, I don’t forgive him, I feel sad that I never got to say goodbye properly, but I cannot forgive him, ever.”

Blake nodded as he processed everything that I had just said to him.

“You are my hero Blake; you always have been and you always will be and, no matter what Cooper wrote about me, he was seriously fucked up and doesn’t ever deserve my forgiveness. If Sara had have killed me, he would have been just as guilty as she was.” I reached across the table and took Blake’s hand in mine.

“There is though, just one thing that I need to do and I need you to be with me Blake, I can’t do it alone, and I know that I sound like I am contradicting myself when I say this.” I took a deep breath before continuing, “I need to visit Cooper’s grave.” Blake opened his mouth to speak but I butted back in before he could tell me no, “I’m not saying today or tomorrow, I am not saying when I need to go there, but I need to say goodbye to him properly, I need to say goodbye to the old Cooper, the Cooper who helped me the night that I got the call about my dad, the Cooper who welcomed me back with open arms when I returned from London. I hated him so much when he died that I never said goodbye to him, but once I do, I can forget about him, move on, see Sara get what’s coming to her and continue my life as it should be; with you.”

“Okay.” Blake replied simply.

“Okay?”

“Yes,” Blake stood and headed around the table to me, crouching as he reached my chair so we were at eye level. “Can I tell you something?” He said as he took my hands in his.

“Anything.”

“When I woke last night and heard you crying? I thought I had lost you to Cooper.” Blake shook his head and huffed out a short breath. “I mean, I know that is ridiculous because he’s dead, but I honestly thought that you were crying because you felt something for him and when I fixed the papers and read them myself this morning, I convinced myself that you were going to tell me this morning that you had loved him too.”

“Blake,” I sighed as I reached up and stroked his cheek, “how could you even think that?”

“I suppose I became the paranoid one,” Blake laughed once before his smile dropped and sadness appeared once more. “I suppose that because I love you so much and everything that we have is perfect, it makes me fear losing you a million times more than I ever did before.”

“Blake,” I took his face in my hands and kissed him deeply. As our lips parted I rested my brow against his, “I am so sorry that I made you feel that way.”

“I’m sorry that I doubted you,” Blake replied.

“So we have been back in New York for less than twenty-four hours and already had more than enough drama. What is it with us and New York?” I laughed.

“Well as we are getting everything out in the open today then there is something that I have to tell you,” Blake said cautiously, which stemmed my laughter.

“Why do I not like the sound of the tone you just used?”

“Because I’m not sure how you are going to take this news.” Blake stood and ran his fingers through his hair before walking around me and pulling out the seat next to me.

“Blake you’re scaring me,” I said nervously as he sat and turned to me with a smile.

“I’ve quit the show,” He said quickly.

“You’ve…. you’ve done what?” I asked, sure that I must have misheard.

“I’ve quit the show,” he said again firmly.

“Why? I mean, you have been a part of that show; no, not a part of the show,” I corrected myself. “You
are
that show, for six years you have been that show, you can’t just quit, what will they do?”

“I don’t care,” Blake smirked as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Are you on something?” I rubbed my brow frantically trying to process Blake’s news. “Okay, I’ll ask you again,
why
?”

“Because,” Blake said as he reached forward and swept my hair from my face, “I don’t want to miss a single second of seeing my babies grow up. When we were in London, I realized that as soon as we got settled over there again and into a routine with our children, I would have to leave you, and I don’t want to leave you, ever.”

“What are you saying? That you are never going to work again? Because that would be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.” I laughed lightly but Blake’s face remained impassive. “We would have come back with you Blake, you know that we would.”

“Of course I am not saying that I never want to work again, what I am saying is that I don’t want to uproot our children so soon after taking them home Jo, and I don’t want to be away from you all either. Filming takes up a lot of time, time that I could be spending with the three of you. I don’t want to miss the first time that our babies smile or not be there when they get ill and need daddy cuddles. I want to be there Jo, for everything.”

“But you love that show Blake.”

“I love you more,” he said simply.

My heart swelled with pride at how Blake always put everyone else’s needs before his own.

“What have they said about you leaving?”

“I don’t know yet,” he smirked. “I rang Ester when we were in London a couple of days back, she hasn’t got back to me with their reaction yet, but you know what? I have priorities now and they are all sat on this chair.” Blake tugged my chair towards him before placing his lips to mine.

“They are not going to be happy,” I smiled against his lips, “but I think the babies and I are going to love having daddy with us twenty-four seven.”

Blake sighed happily before he stood and walked back around the table, sitting down to his breakfast. “So, what do you want to do today?”

“I want to finish my breakfast and then spend the rest of the day with my husband, alone in our home, no telephone calls, no TV, no interruptions, nothing, just us; what do you think?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Ready to go?” Blake stood at the door waiting for me as I fastened up my coat ready to leave the apartment for the first time since arriving back here six days ago. New York had been ground to a halt when a snowstorm moved in four days ago and was still very present. Main roads were being cleared constantly but most people were staying indoors as advised which made today the most appropriate day for me to say my final goodbyes to Cooper. We were headline news yet again after news of Blake quitting the show had gone viral, of course the media were busy speculating again as to why he had quit, and again they were making up their very own versions of what could have happened to make him leave but Blake and I had decided that from now on, the media could speculate what they wanted to, we knew the truth and that was all that mattered. There was still a scattering of reporters hanging around outside our apartment building although most had given up when the weather worsened and Blake and I had stayed locked up in our bubble.

Blake didn’t feel comfortable driving me to Cooper’s grave for fear that someone would spot our car so we would be followed so he had contacted Christina and arranged a car to take us, along with two of her best security men. Six months ago, my jealousy towards Christina could have cost me my life when I refused her help to look after me while Blake was in Miami, today as I stood here seven months pregnant and married to Blake, my jealousy towards all woman including Christina had evaporated.

We exited the underground car park un-noticed and arrived at Cooper’s grave just twenty minutes later.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Blake asked as I unbuckled my belt.

“No,” I smiled nervously, “thank you but I need to do this by myself, I won’t be long.” I leaned towards Blake and placed my lips to his. “I love you,” I told him as I climbed out of the car and took the short stroll to where I could see Cooper’s grave. There was an eerie silence around the graveyard; no one else seemed to have ventured out today which made what I needed to do far easier.

“Hey,” I placed my hand onto the headstone feeling a shiver running up my spine as though Cooper was present. “Sorry it has taken me so long to come and see you, I only found out the truth about what happened this week and to be honest, when I was told that you had been working alongside Sara, well, surely you know why it has taken me this long to come here.” I sucked in a deep breath before continuing. “So Cooper Henderson kept a diary,” I laughed. “Who would have ever thought that Cooper Henderson, ladies’ man and most eligible bachelor in New York, would have kept a diary?  Most unbelievable of all, who would have thought that your diary would prove to be so vital as evidence. You really did pour your heart out into that diary didn’t you? I wish you had told me about Sara, Cooper, or gone to the police and told them what Sara was doing, I felt so angry with you the other night when I read the evidence because you shouldn’t be where you are now and I shouldn’t be stood here talking to your headstone. Sara went into rehab for a reason Cooper and you were never going to be able to fix her like you could have done had she have just gone back there in the first place. She would be out now, she would be living her life as normal, and you… well, you would still be alive and happy and living your life the way you used to, that too makes me feel so angry with you Cooper. I can’t get my head around it all, even now; I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell someone. You could have been a hero Cooper, if you had just done the right thing.” I looked around at the other gravestones that surrounded Cooper’s.

“You’re the youngest person here you know, all of these others died as old people, they had all lived a full life and I bet they had some wonderful memories. I felt the emotion building inside before laughing at something that I had remembered, “Do you remember last winter when we went skating at Rockefeller Center? You were trying to flirt with one of the fellow skaters and she just couldn’t see it,” I began to laugh harder at the memory.

“When she finally realized what you were doing and told you that she was a lesbian and the girl she was skating with was her girlfriend, you fell over right on your arse and ended up with a badly sprained ankle. The pain must have been so bad but you plastered on that fake smile, got up and carried on as though nothing had happened. I bet you went home and wrote about that in your diary too didn’t you?” My laughter stemmed as the emotion returned,

“We had some good times together didn’t we Cooper? Many happy memories, before it all went so wrong. I still can’t believe that you’re gone, I keep expecting to bump into you or get a text or a call, or even see you jogging around your very own little track in Central Park that you created.” I paused for a moment before continuing, “by the way, Blake and I got married and I haven’t gained weight because I had a good Christmas either, I am pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl, I found out the day that you died that we were going to be parents.” I sighed and forced myself to keep my emotions at bay. “Well, I’m going to have to go now; this cold weather is no good for a pregnant lady’s bladder.” My smile quickly faded as I was about to say my final goodbye. “I miss the good times that we had Cooper, that’s something that I will always think about when I think of you; the good times. I don’t want to think about the bad times, I don’t want to remember you as that person, I want to remember you as the friend that you were when I first got here. Look after yourself up there won’t you? Goodbye Cooper.” I brushed my fingers across the photo that stood out on his headstone before turning and walking back to the car, Blake was stood leaning against the door with a sad smile on his face, “all done?” he asked. I nodded and walked into his open arms where I held onto him tight as he clung to me too.