Beautiful Perfection (Beautifully Unbroken Book 2) (20 page)

“Thanks son.” Marti nodded knowingly as he understood what Blake had actually meant.

“I’m gonna….. Shall we go for a walk Jo?” Blake said turning to me. “I think we could both do with some fresh air, we’ve spent too long cooped up since coming back from London.

“Sure,” I replied simply before heading out of the kitchen and upstairs to change out of my nightclothes feeling fear creeping up inside me of what tonight was going to bring. Fear for Julia, for Blake and for whatever it was that was being hidden from us.

*~*~*

It had been a long and torturous day; Blake and I had taken a short stroll around the park near to his parents’ house. Getting out of the house had felt like a relief, since telling Blake about my suspicion about his mum and from the moment that his parents arrived home, it was obvious that there was something major that we didn’t know about but would hopefully be finding out tonight along with the rest of the family. The atmosphere had been so thick that you could have chopped it into tiny pieces with a kitchen knife and it would have still continued to hover above us all. Julia had barely made eye contact with neither Blake nor myself, which only made it more obvious that they were keeping something important from us both. It was obvious to see that Marti was also putting on a brave face, it was in his nature to be bright and cheery but today you could sense something else in his demeanor, he was masking some sort of hurt. Blake had remained quiet for the majority of the walk but his hand had gripped mine so tight that I could sense his insecurity.

He would never admit it to anyone, particularly me; but for once, I could tell that he was now the one who needed to lean on someone, and even though he was always my rock, my hero, my fixer, today I felt that the tables had turned and he was now the one who needed a shoulder. I was determined to help him through this as best as was humanly possible.

After what felt like days rather than hours, Jasmine, Robert and Fraser arrived for dinner. Jasmine obviously knew more about what was going on than the rest of us and her eyes confirmed it to me when she entered the house and gave me a sad smile. Fraser had run straight for Blake who took him in his arms and threw him around like a rag doll; Fraser loved that.

Shortly after they arrived, we were all called through to the kitchen where Julia and Marti were putting the final touches to dinner. As everyone sat and filled their plates the silence around the table thickened, only Fraser ensured that the silence was short lived as he babbled to Blake about anything that he could think of, it was good however to see Blake’s mind occupied.

Marti had gone all out in his preparations for dinner, he had served honey glazed ham with all the trimmings and even though it looked and smelt amazing, each of us had only picked at the food as we all wanted desperately to hear what we were about to be told.

“Say Fraser, have you seen the cars that Uncle Blake found for you from when he was a little boy?” Marti announced as dinner came to a close. Fraser gasped in surprise; his face was so perfect and innocent.

“Shall we go take a look Fraser?” I offered. “There is even a fire truck with flashing lights.” Fraser jumped down from his seat excitedly and immediately took my hand as he began leading the way.

“Come straight back won’t you dear?” Julia spoke for only the second time since we sat down to eat; the first time she had spoken was to say how lovely it was to have everyone together.

“Of course,” I replied quietly before my eyes rested on Marti who was watching Julia carefully. “I’ll be right back.”

With Fraser settled in front of the TV playing with a basket full of old cars that Blake had sorted out for him, I headed back into the kitchen where the men were finishing up clearing away the dinner plates. Jasmine was sitting swirling the wine around the bottom of her glass as she watched it with fascination while Julia sat twiddling her necklace nervously between her fingers. I took my seat and cleared my throat, “I didn’t think it would be possible to see Fraser any happier with a new toy to play with than he was on Christmas morning.”

“He sure does love cars,” Jasmine smiled slightly, “thanks for doing that Jo,” Jasmine said as she looked to me briefly. The men finished clearing away and returned to the table, Blake’s hand reached across and gripped my hand tightly in my lap. I gave him a reassuring squeeze telling him by touch alone that I was here for him.

“I have some news,” Julia announced. Blake’s grip on my hand tightened. “First of all, I am sorry that I have to do this today of all days. I mean what sort of a mother am I? Offering to look after my sick daughter in law the day before I have to tell you all that I ….” Julia stopped briefly as Marti’s arm reached over and rested on her shoulder.

“I haven’t been feeling well, well not for a while now actually.” Julia took a deep breath before continuing, “not since the day that I found a lump in my breast just before Christmas.” Julia finally looked up from the table and gave us all a sad smile. “I’m sorry that I never told you Blake, you too Jo, especially when you asked me outright the day of your wedding and I lied to your face, I felt awful for lying but it was your wedding day and I didn’t want to….I didn’t know then what the lump was so worrying you unnecessarily wasn’t an option.”

“It’s okay,” I smiled reassuringly, “you don’t ever have to apologize to us, not for anything.” I momentarily loosed Blake’s hand to reach across the table and squeeze Julia’s hand.

“Thank you dear, I appreciate that.” Julia cleared her throat before continuing.

“This morning I had an appointment with my consultant. I have had cysts before in my breasts, quite a few over the years to be precise. I would go to my consultant, he would diagnose the cyst, drain it, and then I would come home happy and relieved.” Julia smiled bravely but Marti began to crumble as his eyes filled with unshed tears and he placed his fist to his mouth to hide his emotion.

“I could tell from the moment that I stepped into the Doctor’s office this morning that this time it was different, there was no ‘we will just drain this for you and you can be on your way’ because this time, the lump isn’t a cyst; I have breast cancer,” Julia said firmly before her lip shook and finally she allowed her brave façade to disappear as tears began to fall from her eyes. “I am so sorry,” she said as she tried to stem the tears. We all stood and rounded the table to where she sat instantly.

Jasmine wrapped Julia into her arms and cried with her, while Robert comforted Marti. Blake crouched in front of his mum and told her over and over again that everything was going to be okay, that he was going to make sure that he fixed it for her however possible. I stood behind Julia and cradled both her and Jasmine. Julia continued to apologize as if it was her fault that she had fallen victim to this horrible disease. After a few moments Julia and Marti pulled away from us all and asked us to take our seats once more at the table, as Blake stepped past me his expression was unreadable, he was masking his emotion for his parents’ sake, there were no tears just sadness in his eyes but I had known Blake long enough by now to know that inside he was falling apart, he re-took my hand as we sat back down.

“I promised myself that I wouldn’t cry,” Julia said as she wiped her eyes on a napkin. “But saying it out loud it just, it suddenly became real.”

“How bad is it?” Blake asked quietly, knowing that everyone else was waiting to know that too.

Julia nodded as she recomposed herself, “the doctor is confident that they have caught it in time, I have regular checks because of my history so we know that it hasn’t been there for too long, of course we won’t know exactly how bad it is until I go in for surgery.”

“When is that going to be?” Jasmine asked immediately.

“In two weeks’ time,” she confirmed. “And then we will take it from there I suppose,” she said nervously. “I am sorry that I kept it from you both, and I am sorry that when Samantha said that you should stay away from stress, I have had to tell you this. When I offered for you to come and stay here, I didn’t believe that I would be getting the news that I’ve had, I mean people get lumps all the time don’t they? I myself have had so many scares in the past, I imagined… well, convinced myself that this was no different, I’m sorry and I am sorry to you too Jasmine, I should never have asked you to lie to Jo when she asked you what was going on. I just didn’t want anyone to know until I needed to tell them, but now you know; well now you will all be prepared for it if I don’t…”

“Don’t say it,” Blake said suddenly, “please don’t say what you were about to say then.”

“We have to be prepared Blake; there is every possibility that this thing could beat me, if not this time then eventually if it were to return.”

“We won’t allow that to happen,” I said fighting back my emotion. “I have already lost one parent too soon and I will not allow it to happen again, no way.” Julia smiled fondly at me as her tears once more began to fall.

“I love you all so much; I have the best family that I could have ever wished for.”

“And this family is going to see you through this mom, every single step of the way,” Blake said firmly. “You are going nowhere and I mean that.”

“And you are going to have to put up with us for a lot longer yet too mom. You promise me that you are going to fight this all of the way,” Jasmine said.

“I promise you all right now,” Julia began, “I have absolutely no intention of lying down and surrendering to this, I want to see all of my grandchildren grow up and I intend to do so.”

“That’s the spirit,” Marti said sadly as his arms wrapped around Julia once more.

“Are you going to die Nanny?” we all turned in horror to see Fraser stood in the doorway listening to everything that was being discussed around the table. Jasmine pushed away from her seat quickly, crouching to Fraser’s level as she reached him, she sniffed back her tears and smiled, “hey,” she said gently. “Nanny is going nowhere sweetheart, we are just talking about things that adults have to talk about; there is absolutely nothing for you to worry about,” Jasmine said calmly. “Do you want to show mommy your new toys from Uncle Blake?” Fraser nodded but instead of leaving the room he walked over to Julia, climbed onto her lap and gave her a big hug. “You are my favorite Nanny and I love you.” He then climbed back down before taking Jasmine’s hand and leaving the room.

“That there is your reason for fighting this mom, Fraser and the twins; I don’t want them to grow up without a grandma like Jasmine and I did. I love you so much mom.” Blake reached across and began stroking Julia’s hands lovingly. Marti stood abruptly and cleared his throat.

“I’m gonna just….. I’ll be right outside if anyone needs me.” He nodded once and headed to the back door where he disappeared into the garden for what I assumed was to release the emotion that Marti was always so good at hiding.

It was past midnight when we eventually climbed into bed. Once we had all taken time to absorb the news from Julia, we had sat together in the lounge whilst Blake, Robert and Marti played cars with Fraser. Having Fraser around was comforting, his innocence made us all appreciate the time that we spent together.

Julia, Jasmine and I had discussed our time in London and they were both already planning on what they wanted to do the next time that they came for a visit. The dreaded ‘C’ word hadn’t been forgotten, in fact it was still hovering thick in the air above us all, but I could see that Julia now felt some relief from opening up to us all and was now able to go back to talking to us as normal without the big black cloud hanging above her. I mentioned to Julia that Blake and I were more than happy to go home to New York the following morning to give her plenty of time to rest before her surgery but she was dead set against it and informed me that the distraction of having us here was good for her, so for now we would stay. Jasmine and Robert left with Fraser just before midnight; it was a tearful goodbye and Jasmine promised she would be back to visit before Julia was due her surgery, we would of course make sure that we were at the hospital that day too, to support them.

Blake got ready for bed as normal, even humming along to a couple of songs as he changed and brushed his teeth. He was hiding the way that he truly felt which would prove bad for him eventually. After climbing into bed next to me he gave me a quick kiss before placing his arm around me pulling me to his chest. I didn’t speak, Blake hadn’t yet cried; from the minute that his mum had told us about the cancer, he had held onto his emotion, afraid that if he caved in, it would mean that he would have to admit that something was wrong. I turned to face him and rested my head into the crook of his neck; Blake’s focus was on the ceiling above us. He was deep in thought as I lay quietly running my fingers across his chest gently.

“My grandmother died of breast cancer,” Blake suddenly said. I lifted my head and looked up at him but his eyes stayed focused on that one spot above us. “Mom was pregnant with Jasmine and I was around the same age as Fraser when it happened. When Fraser stood in that doorway this evening and asked mom if she was going to die, it was as if I was watching myself all over again. At that age you don’t really understand death but when you hear your parents whispering about it enough, you kind of figure out that if someone dies, you won’t ever see them again. I will never forget the day that I watched my mom fall to the floor of our kitchen and cry because her mother had passed away.”

“Your mum is going to fight this Blake, she is strong and determined and there has been a lot of advancement in medicine since then.”

“I know,” Blake tilted his head to me and gave me a small smile. “There is no way on this earth that my mother will let this beat her, I know my mother well and giving in is not an option but the thought of how she must be feeling…. I mean how do you act like nothing is going on when you know that you have something wrong with you that could potentially end your life? She sat there this evening making plans for the future and I know that she will beat this, of course she will beat it, I have no doubt about that, but how do you keep strong like that?” Blake’s gaze moved back to the ceiling where he once again focused on the same spot. “The sooner she has the surgery, the sooner she will be back to normal and this will all be over.”