Beauty (30 page)

I shook my head frantically. “But it’s not true!”

“No one just becomes beautiful overnight,” Blair said thoughtfully, ignoring me. “Especially not more beautiful than
you
, Ashley.” Ashley shot her a nasty look, and Blair quickly snapped her mouth shut.

“Think about it, guys,” I said desperately. “Plastic surgery takes weeks to recover from!”

“Not all kinds,” Ashley mused.

“Yeah, aren’t they using lasers and stuff now?” Sarah offered.

“I read about this super-Botox that changes your whole face, without ever having to go under the knife,” Brittany said knowingly.

Ashley leaned toward me confidingly. “What did you have done, Molly? You can tell us. Was it your chin? Your cheekbones? Your nose?”

I stood up abruptly, making the hammock rock in my wake. “I didn’t have anything done!” I yelled. Behind me, a few people snorted with laughter.

“Rigggght,” Hayley said loudly. “Just like Kate Hudson didn’t get a boob job.” Hayley eyed my chest pointedly. “Actually, I’m surprised you didn’t get one of those too.”

Dozens of eyes suddenly zeroed in on my chest.

“Maybe she did,” Ashley countered. “Maybe she was just
that
flat before.” The laughter picked up, more and more people joining in.

I looked at Ashley in stunned disbelief. “I thought you were supposed to be my friend,” I whispered. But even as I said it, the truth was hitting me, clobbering me right over the head. She never really had been. Because it had never really been about me. I had to get away. My head was pounding and tears were streaming down my face as I fought my way through the laughing crowd. I couldn’t believe this was happening again: the tears, the laughter, the stares. How could this still be possible, after everything had changed? I choked back a sob as I tumbled inside. “Look, it’s Miracle’s own Extreme Makeover!” someone yelled.

To my left, the bathroom door hung wide open and, without stopping to think, I threw myself inside. I could feel my body giving in to the sobs as I sagged against the wall, burying my face in my hands. I had no one anymore. No friends, no almost-boyfriend, not even a mom I could talk to. Just yesterday I’d felt like I was standing at the top of the world. Now suddenly I was toppling down, and there was no one on the ground to catch me.

Swallowing back another sob, I looked up, my eyes finding my image in the mirror. I expected to see a mess, but instead my beautiful face stared back at me. It was as perfect as ever in spite of my tears. I felt a scream bubble up inside me. Who looked this perfect all the time? Angrily, I ruffled my hands roughly through my hair, messing it up. But within seconds it fell back into perfect, shiny waves. I slapped my cheeks, trying to make them ruddy. But they remained as pink and dewy as ever. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I screamed. I couldn’t make myself ugly even if I
tried
.

I guess you have to be careful what you wish for
. Kemper’s words rang out in my head, and suddenly I missed her so much it hurt. She was the one friend who had stood by me before all of this. The one that had loved me in spite of my frizz and pimples and stains and gawkiness. I had to find her, I realized. Throwing back the bathroom door, I stalked outside. I had to make things right between us. “Look, it’s Heidi Montag!” someone yelled, but I ignored them. I only had room for one thought in my mind right now, and that was
find Kemper
.

A familiar voice drifted out from the library, making me pause. “If you say so, but I wasn’t expecting it,” Josh was saying. A girl laughed flirtatiously in response. Was that Kemper? I burst into the library. “Kemper!” I said—but when I saw who was standing with Josh, I stopped short. It was Ashley. She was leaning against one of the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, smiling sweetly up at Josh. When she saw me, she shifted even closer to him, until there was nothing but a sliver of air between them.

“It’s just too bad this stuff about Molly didn’t come out until tonight,” Ashley said. She gave me a sugary sweet smile. “Because then Josh and I could have been sharing a crown… . Oh well. There’s always next year, right?” She gave Josh a friendly nudge with her hip and it hit me suddenly: Josh
was
the mystery boy. And Ashley didn’t care one bit if Kemper liked him too. “We’d make the
perfect
king and queen, Josh,” Ashley continued, putting her hand on his arm. From behind me, I heard a strangled noise. I whirled around to see Kemper standing only a foot away, watching the scene unfold before her eyes.

“Look who it is,” Ashley said slowly. Her eyes jumped from me to Kemper. “Little miss I-Love-Josh.” Kemper let out a little gasp as Josh furrowed his brow in confusion. “You know, Kemper,” Ashley went on. “You should probably make him a T-shirt to tell him. Maybe even a sign. How better to say I love you than with a sign?”

Josh swiveled to face Kemper. “What’s she talking about?”

I watched as Kemper’s face turned bright red, several tears gathering in her eyes. “You told her?” she whispered to me.

“I-I didn’t mean to,” I started. “It was an accident. I swear. It just kind of came out… .” I trailed off as a tear rolled down Kemper’s cheek. My heart lurched in my chest. It didn’t matter. I could give any excuse in the world, and it would still fall flat. The truth was, she’d trusted me, and I’d stomped all over it. “I’m sorry,” I pleaded. But it was too late. She’d spun on her heels and was gone, running out of the room.

“Kemper, wait!” Pushing Ashley aside, Josh took off after her. “Hold on, Kemp! Please!”

I stood there helplessly, watching the spot where they’d turned the corner and disappeared. I wanted to go after her, but Josh already had. And I’d done enough damage already. I didn’t want to get in the way of that too. I swallowed back tears of my own as I looked at Ashley. She was running a hand through her white-blonde hair, looking annoyed. “He’ll be back,” she muttered, more to herself than anyone else. “He’ll
obviously
be back.”

I shook my head, incredulous. “Why would you do that, Ashley?”

“What?” Ashley trained her eyes on me. For the first time since I’d started hanging out with her, I realized just how little there was in them. “Oh grow up, Molly. There’s no way someone like Josh is going to go for someone like
Kemper
.” Ashley let out a mean laugh, and I thought about how I’d laughed just like that, at Hayley. I felt shaky on my feet all of a sudden. How could I have done that? How could I have thought that was funny?

I kept my eyes on Ashley. I could feel my fury burning in them, and it didn’t take long for her to look away. “I have an idea,” I said slowly. “How about we play a little game of Pick Your Poison? Here, I’ll start. Pick your poison, Ashley: would you rather be beautiful and cruel or ugly and kind? Oh, wait.” I slapped a hand to my forehead, as if to say
silly me
. “You’ve already made that choice.” Without waiting for a response, I turned around, and I left.

The Mother of All Cover-ups

I WALKED ALL the way home. It took me thirty minutes, but by the time I neared my block, my head felt clearer, the pounding melting into more of a thrumming. I pulled out my phone. After these past two weeks, I was used to it ringing nonstop, but tonight it had remained silent. No hi from Hudson, no protest facts from Kemper, no gossip from Ashley. I opened up a new text.
I really need to talk to you
, I wrote to Kemper.
Please?

I held the phone up in front of me, willing it to ring, but no response came. And after a little while, I tossed it back into my purse with a sigh. I hit Hudson’s house before mine, and when I saw his bedroom window, I stopped short. A light was on. He was home. My thoughts started speeding up, like they were on fast-forward. He was there. It would be so easy to talk to him. All I’d have to do was walk across the lawn and ring his doorbell… .

I was halfway across his lawn before my brain caught up with my feet. Was I really going to do this? Just show up at his house? I thought of the night I’d just had. I’d lost Ashley, I’d made things worse with Kemper, half the school thought I’d had plastic surgery. No matter what happened next, it really couldn’t get much worse. I jogged up the front steps and, before I could lose my nerve, pressed the doorbell. Hudson’s mom answered the door in her pajamas, looking a little bleary-eyed.

“Sorry to stop by so late,” I stammered. I took a deep breath, gathering up my courage.
It can’t get any worse
, I reminded myself. “Is Hudson home?”

Mrs. Taylor stared at me for a long second. “You must be Molly,” she said finally. I nodded. “Hudson’s told me a lot about you.”

“He has?”
What kind of things?
I wanted to ask.
Good things? Bad things? In between?

“He has.” She paused, like she was weighing her options. “He’s up in his room,” she said eventually. “Why don’t you go out back to the porch and I’ll get him for you?”

There was so much I wanted to say. How much I liked her son. How much I hoped the things he’d said had been good. How terrible the mistakes I’d made were. But all I could manage was, “Thanks.”

I made myself comfortable on the porch swing while I waited. Several minutes passed and Hudson didn’t show up. Was he going to refuse to see me? Would his mom have to come break the news to me? My heart twisted and dripped in my chest, like a wet shirt being wrung out.

“Molly.” His voice made me look up with a start. He was standing in the doorway in a pair of flannel pants and a white T-shirt, his hair extra-messy. He looked so much like him—no frills, no fuss—that my heart gave another twist.

“Before you say anything,” I burst out. “I have something I need to say.” I hadn’t planned this out, hadn’t thought further than him showing up in front of me, but suddenly I knew exactly what I needed to do. I knew exactly where I’d gone wrong. “I like you for
you
, Hudson. Not because of your dimples or your hair or how many friends you have. But because your smile makes me smile and you laugh with me when I trip and because the very first time I met you, you raced all the way across your lawn to help me up.” The words were coming out faster now, more urgently, one after another after another, like they had a mind of their own. “But I never thought you could like me for
me
. I mean, you were Hudson Taylor. You needed someone like Ashley or Blair. Someone as amazing as you were.”

Hudson opened his mouth to say something, but I held up my hand to stop him. “I know, I was wrong. But I just couldn’t believe that you could really like me. The
real
me. You know?” I stood up, taking a few steps toward him. “I’m new to all this,” I said quietly. “But I’m not that girl you saw in the hallway yesterday. I swear.” I took another step closer to him, and my foot struck something on the ground. Hard.
What was tha
—but I never got to finish that thought, because suddenly I was teetering, my balance completely thrown off. I waved my arms desperately through the air, trying to straighten myself out, but it was a lost cause. Just like that, I was falling, through the air and off the porch, landing face-forward in a thick bed of flowers.

From somewhere above me, I heard Hudson gasp. “Are you okay, Molly?” I looked up. Hudson had sprinted over to the edge of the porch and was crouching, looking down at me.

“I’m okay,” I mumbled, spitting out a mouthful of leaves.

Hudson made a strange noise, and I looked up to see his hand flying to his mouth as he tried desperately not to laugh.

“Go ahead,” I sighed, slowly pulling myself up. “Laugh away.”

Hudson let a single laugh out. “You fell off my porch, Molly.” He laughed a little harder.

Slowly, I found myself joining in. “Faceplant Molly strikes again.”

Soon we were both laughing so hard tears were streaming down our faces. “Only me,” I choked out. Hudson took a deep breath, his laughter slowing down. Hopping down from the porch, he sat next to me in the flowerbeds.

“Only you,” he agreed. His voice was serious suddenly, and when he looked over at me, I couldn’t quite read the expression in his eyes. “You’ve got to believe me, Molly. The reason I like you is because you’re
you
. Not Ashley, not Blair. You.”

I gave him a tentative nod. “Does that mean you forgive me?” I asked quietly.

Hudson took my hand in his. Something warm surged through my body. “I forgive you,” he said softly.

Suddenly I couldn’t stop the tears from gathering in my eyes. It had been such a long night, and I was so happy it was ending like this. “Hey.” Hudson gave my hand a squeeze. “Everything okay?”

“It is now,” I said. I reached up to wipe away my tears. “I just … I didn’t have so much fun at the party.”

“What happened?” he asked, looking concerned.

“Oh.” I sighed. “It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.” Hudson put his arm around me and I let myself sag into him. “Tell me what happened.” Several more tears welled in my eyes. I had no idea how to even begin. “Just tell me, Mol,” he said. “Start from the beginning.”