Rebecca spoke, surprisingly, rather freely and easily. She told him about Bud, how she had fallen in love with the high school football star and had followed him to college, then given up her dreams of an art degree because he wanted a wife and a beauty queen. And how Bud had grown disenchanted with her when she became pregnant, even found her changing shape repulsive. It was then, Rebecca casually reported, that the affairs began, one after another, and that even some of her so-called friends thought nothing of screwing her scum of a husband in the garage while Rebecca was inside nursing their son. She said it so matter-of-factly, so numbly, that it sent a cold shiver down Matts spine. He was beginning to understand how a woman like Rebecca could be so stiff, so afraid of life and of love.
She was much more animated when she talked about her sisters. She laughed as she told him about Robin, headstrong and ambitious and finally out from under her fathers thumb. Rachel, the baby, who was still in school studying ancient British literature and battling a small weight problem, brought on after years, Rebecca said, of her fathers criticism.
Her father, Matt quickly understood, was the central character in their lives, whether they wanted him to be or not. Sounds like a hard-ass, he reflected, after Rebecca told him of the rift that had developed between him and Robin over her place in the family company.
Rebecca shook her head. Thats really too nice hes a
bastard, she said, without rancor. When he found out he had cancer, he called my mother, even though they had been separated for years, and she dropped everything in L.A. to come and care for him. For a while, it looked like things were going to work out. I thought maybe he had grown up a little, that maybe his mortality had shaken something lose in him. She gave a long and weary sigh. But, as soon as the treatment started to take, and the cancer went into remission, he was back to the usual bossing us all around, running our lives. And even though Mom dropped everything to be with him in his hour of need, he started ignoring her all over again.
I take it you dont get along with him.
Oh no, we get along, she said. I mean, in spite of all Ive said, he can be a decent man. He adores Grayson, and I think he truly wants my happiness ... its just that he wants to define it for me. I do love Dad ... I just dont like him very much.
Matt changed the subject, asked her about her reigning year as Miss Texas, which made her snort in that funny way she did and roll her eyes. Another great chapter of my life, she said caustically.
Then you werent kidding when you said you never wanted to be Miss Texas?
God, no. Never! she said emphatically. It was great after it happened, but it was all Buds thing, not mine, she said, and confessed that she had been a stupid young woman who was more interested in pleasing everyone around her than in doing what was right for Rebecca. Good ol Bud, Matt gathered, cared more about the way things looked than what they were, and in particular, his wife. He knew the type men who were so insecure with themselves that they insisted their wives were perfect, their house, their kids you name it. It all went into feeding their own sick egos.
Nevertheless, it was astounding, because Rebecca was a gracious, kind-hearted, and determined person on the inside. Even when she was so confoundingly stubborn, she was appealing in her own way. The fact that she was
physically gorgeous was just icing on the cake. So if there was a man out there who thought that wasnt enough and wanted more, he had to be an A Number One Prick.
Whatever she thought of her ex, Matt couldnt say but she seemed to be well past any feelings about Bud, grateful to be out of that dysfunctional relationship and now was anxious to become someone in her own right. All by herself. Just as soon as she figured out who or what.
Any ideas? she asked as they lay on their bellies, side by side, while Grayson and the dogs napped.
Bingo bashes? he suggested.
No! she said, laughing gaily (and oh, her eyes sparkled when she laughed).
Matt sobered a little, asked in all seriousness, What about Toms campaign? I have to tell you, he is about to come unglued. Your big fund-raiser? The people calling dont want to talk to anyone but you. He smiled sheepishly. I have to confess I almost got lynched at the office. Everyone misses you, Rebecca. Tom wanted me to come out here and repair the damage, but it was too late.
Too late? Why?
Because I missed you ten times more than they did, and I had already gotten out my knee pads to make the crawl to Ruby Falls.
Rebecca laughed, playfully shoved him. I figured as much, silly. Toms left half a dozen messages on my machine.
Well? Will you come back? Matt asked.
Rebecca smiled thoughtfully, pulled wild rain lilies from the grass and made a pile. I dont know, she said at last. Ill have to think about it. The thing is, you were right about me
No, Rebecca, no I was so wrong. I cant even begin to say how wrong
Matt, she said, with a hand to his arm to silence him. You were right. Its true! I never bothered to learn anything about Tom or the issues. I thought all that was boring. I just saw a chance to do things, maybe find a job, maybe make some friends. But I should never have used
his campaign like that. I never should have signed up without asking a few questions and agreeing with what he was doing.
You arent the only one, Matt grumbled, and told her how he had joined the race because they said he would make a great district attorney. That thought had never once crossed my mind until that night, and there I was, lapping it up like ol Bean.
Yikes, she said with a sympathetic smile. Thats really lapping it up.
It was amazing, Matt thought later that evening, when they had come back to the lake house and Rebecca was in the throes of preparing a gourmet meal, how easily his life story had come tumbling out of him on that little island. He could honestly say he wasnt the kind of guy to tout his accomplishments or talk about himself. But that wasnt the half of it as he talked, he heard himself say things that he had never really, consciously realized before now. That he had always had a heart for the underdog, for example, and how it chafed him that his partner was in it solely for the money. There are people out there who get used up, and they arent smart enough or sophisticated enough or old enough to fend for themselves.
Theres your reason to run for DA, Rebecca observed, and Matt realized instantly that she was right. Not because he had connections, not because he could raise the money, and not because he looked good to voters. But because he had always wanted to look out for others, as far back as he could remember, beginning with the special-education student he had befriended in the sixth grade, and for whom he received a sound beating from a couple of his classmates when he stood up for the kid.
Youre right, he said, his voice full of awe.
Rebecca laughed, shoved a sauteed julienne carrot into his mouth. Dont look so astonished.
He also told her about his family, heard the pride in his voice as he described them. His father, a retired judge, who had been his inspiration to go to law school. His mom, who was in her sixties now and at last free to do as
she pleased which was, apparently, to pester all her children about grandkids. His sister, Bella, his brothers, Mark and Danny, and the summers they had spent in and around Austin, swimming in the springs, watching the bats at night, and exploring old limestone caves.
Dinner was fun and relaxed, with an absolutely delicious salmon and asparagus (which Grayson deemed grrrroooooosssss). Afterward, Matt made a point of spending some one-on-one time with Grayson. Rebecca had told him that Graysons adaptation to his parents divorce had been rocky; that he was always angry when he came home from seeing Bud, and that he missed his nanny, Lucy, although Rebecca said that he was mentioning her less frequently now. Matt had noticed that when he and Grayson were together, he did not want to share Matts attention with anyone else, not even with Tater, his favorite dog. It was also obvious that in spite of how much Rebecca loved her son, Grayson craved a mans attention.
But Matt also saw a stocky little kid with a great imagination (cool), a great sense of humor (bonus points), and a good throwing arm (which was really good news, because if Matt was going to be around, he had to have someone to play sports with). The kid was great. The only little thing that alarmed him was his room, and what Matt saw as his alarming, Mom-like leanings. Not one toy was out of place. His clothes were hung by color. In his dresser, his underwear was neatly folded and stacked.
Gray, we cant have this! Matt exclaimed, shaking his head in disgust when Grayson obliged him by opening the sock drawer, and they were all lined up in little army formation, and, big surprise, color coordinated.
Whats wrong? Gray asked, looking at his socks with genuine concern.
Boys dont line their socks up. Boys shove em in there however they can get them, and when their mom gets mad, they say, Sorry Mom! but just keep doing it.
Oh, he said, his brow burrowed in serious concentration.
Lets do something about these socks right now! Matt
said, and stuck his hand in the drawer, messed them all up.
With a shout of laughter, Grayson did the same, then asked eagerly, What about my underwear?
Matt gnnned. I knew youd see it my way.
After the underwear, they rearranged his little closet (Mom already did that, Grayson said, which just proved there was something terribly wrong with the kid), and when they were done, Grayson asked him, Are you going to spend the night again?
Granted, Matt was a bachelor, but he wasnt stupid. He shoved a hand through his hair. What do you think I should do?
The kid fingered the hem of his shirt and stared at his feet before muttering, I wish youd stay forever.
That small wish was one of the reasons Matt threw caution to the wind and invited Rebecca and Grayson to Sunday dinner with his folks. And lest Rebecca think he really was moving in, he suggested they follow him there. Im going to have to go back to reality sometime, he said on Sunday afternoon while Grayson was down for a nap and he and Rebecca had enjoyed a little game he liked to call Ride That Dawgie. In fact, Rebecca was still straddling him when he asked her.
Her eyes grew wide as blue china saucers. You want me to meet your parents? she repeated, and Matt knew a moment of sheer panic.
Well... yeah. I do. I mean, this is really going somewhere, you and me. Isnt it? I hope so, because Ive never done anything like this in my life, he said earnestly. Ive had only one serious relationship in my life, and that was more than ten years ago. This weekend is a big deal to me.
She laughed, her body tightening pleasingly around his. You think / do this all the time? Oh, no ... I have to chalk this up to many of the firsts I learned this weekend, she said, leaning down to playfully bite his neck. But your parents? she asked, lifting herself again. That seems huge.
Because it is huge, he said, pushing himself up. But I walked through that door on Thursday and I never left, and
my whole world has been turned around. Ive never felt this way, never even dreamed I could feel this way, and Ill be damned if Im going to pretend otherwise. This is going to sound weird, but I think that quesadilla guy was there for a reason that day.
Rebecca laughed gaily. Are you putting forth the cosmic quesadilla theory? If you are, I think you should look through my books and see if there are any that might help you find the philosophical underpinnings of that theory, because it sounds a little far-fetched. Even to me.
Maybe, he grumbled. But I still believe it. And I still say I love you.
She laughed. In that case, she said with a big grin, we must go meet the parents. And she silenced any other philosophical rantings with a kiss and a move that made him moan with the anticipation of heaven. For a woman who had not made love in more than four years, the girl was definitely making up for lost time. Well, she could exact her pound of flesh from him anytime, anywhere.
Sherri Parrish was watering her geraniums when she saw Matts Jag turn in the drive. She thought it was odd that a Range Rover followed him in, and assumed Bella had finally made good on her threat to exchange her BMW for an SUV. But as Matt drew closer, she noticed there was a child in his car.
She instantly put down the hose, removed her bonnet, and smoothing her hair, went marching forward.
His face a wreath of smiles, Matt got out at the same time the boy did. The Range Rover stopped directly behind him, but the shadows of the live oaks prevented her from seeing who drove it.
Mom, Matt said, almost bursting, Id like you to meet my pal Grayson Reynolds.
Sherri looked at the boy and smiled. Well, hello, Grayson Reynolds. Whered you come from?
Ruby Falls, Texas, he said, shoving his hands into his enormous pants.
Matt laughed as the door of the Range Rover opened. Excuse me, he said, and strode back to that car, stood at the drivers side while the boy stared up at Sherri.
I thought you were Matts mom, he said.
I am.
You dont look that old, he opined, cocking his head to one side to study her.
That remark, depending upon ones mature outlook, was a lovely compliment, and she smiled down at the precious little boy. Thanks, I think. How old are you, Grayson?
He held up five fingers and said, Guess.
Oh, I dont know ... five?
Thats right! he exclaimed as Matt and whoever had followed him came around the other side of the Jag, and as they stepped away from the live oak branches, Sherri felt a burst of sunlight in her heart.
It was her.
She knew that had been a special look on her sons face, and almost killed herself tripping over the garden hose to meet the woman she knew, instinctively, was The One.
Can now count myself among the sexually liberated! Did I really put up with Buds Clumsiness all those years? Wonder if his lack of finesse might be part of larger issue - like maybe hes a closet homosexual, which would really explain a lot.
Grayson is happier than Ive seen him in a long time, adores Matt-didnt even care that Bud blew off their weekend again. And he hasnt fought with Taylor in more than two weeks! yes!
Saved the best for last - I am happy, too, happier than I can ever remmber being in my life, so happy that I dont think I really need to do this shit anymore. Sayonara you stupid Affiermation Journal for life. I am free!