Because This Is Forever (18 page)

And
with that regret came sadness—sadness for their broken relationship and the
absence of any pleasant memories. But more than anything, Nate’s sorrow was for
the man his father was, for the father he had been, and for the life he had so
obviously been unhappy with.

* * * *

It was
late when they finally arrived home. Yet just when Mia thought the night was
over—and couldn’t get any worse—it did.

As
she and Nate got ready for bed, her cell phone rang, breaking the thick silence
in the room. Nate looked up, frowning.

“It’s
after midnight,” he said. “Who’s calling at this hour?”

She
shrugged. “I don’t know…”

He
grabbed her phone from the dresser and looked at the screen. “Who the hell’s
Curtis Wallace?”

Her
eyes widened. “Oh my God, that’s our neighbor.” She grabbed the phone from him,
a sudden uneasiness coming over her. It was one in the morning in Detroit. Mr.
Wallace wouldn’t be calling at this hour just to chat and if he was in trouble,
neither she nor Leah would be able to help him.

She
answered the phone but Mr. Wallace’s gravelly voice was going too fast for her
to make out his words. “Mr. Wallace, you have to slow down. Now what kind of
accident…”

Mia
listened intently and what her neighbor told her numbed her with shock. She
stared at Nate blankly as she tried to absorb everything Mr. Wallace was
telling her. Her body moved from blank numbness to an icy chill. When she
finally ended the call, she stood there, staring at nothing, completely in a
daze.

Nate
grabbed her elbow and squeezed. “What happened?”

She
shook her head as if trying to deny something. “There was a fire. Our house…it’s
gone.”

Mia
tried to shake the sick feeling that filled her as Mr. Wallace’s words sank in.
They lost everything. Their home. The home she’d been fighting so hard to keep.
It was now gone.

At
least she had their photo albums, she thought wryly.

According
to her neighbor, the fire department had evidence that the fire had been set
intentionally.
Who would do such a thing?
They were a quiet family and had never attracted any trouble…

Leah.

Wherever
her sister went, trouble followed and an unbelievable thought began to form.
Mia marched into the living room where her sister slept and shook her awake.
“Leah, what the hell did you do?” Mia screamed.

Her
sister came awake with a start. She sat up on the couch, confused. “Mia? What
the hell—”

“Who
did it, Leah?” Mia shouted again. “Who did you screw with this time?”

Leah
jumped off the couch. “What the hell are you talking about?” she shouted in
Mia’s face.

Nate
came up and pulled her away from her sister. “Mia, calm down,” he snapped. “Now
lower your voices before you wake Mikey.”

“What
the hell is going on?” Leah asked again, her voice a harsh whisper. “What did I
do?”

“Mr.
Wallace called,” Mia snapped fiercely. “Someone just burned our house down. And
I have a feeling you know something about this.”

Leah’s
eyes widened. She shook her head, stunned. “What—why would you think that?” Her
sister’s hurt confusion suddenly turned into cold anger. “You know what, think
whatever the hell you want, Mia. I didn’t have shit to do with it!”

“You
show up here, out of the blue, and do everything short of beg Nate for money. Then
a few days later our house burns down,” Mia explained tightly. “What else am I
supposed to think?”

“Are
you in trouble with someone?” Nate asked when Leah remained silence.

She
glanced over at him before averting her eyes. She shook her head and placed her
hand around her neck, a nervous gesture Mia was all too familiar with. And the
way she was avoiding eye contact, Mia knew she was hiding
something
.

But
before she could demand the truth from her sister, Nate reminded her of the
seriousness of the situation.

“You
need to tell us what’s really going on,” he said, his tone hard but even. “Whatever
trouble you’re in could have followed you here and put us all in danger, and that’s
not something I’m gonna allow. Not while Mikey’s here.”

Mia
hadn’t even considered that and apparently neither had Leah. Her sister’s eyes
widened as she glanced from her to Nate.

She
hesitated for a second then said, “I’m not the one in trouble. Jackson is. He
got in with this really bad group as soon as he got out. Now he owes them some
serious money, which I was trying to help him come up with so they would back
off.”

Mia was
too stunned to formulate any sensible thought. Why hadn’t her sister told her
this? These people were obviously dangerous and the thought of her sister even
coming in contact with them made Mia shiver.

“Is that
why you needed the money?” Nate asked.

Leah
nodded. “But I really was going to pay you back,” she rushed out.

“Why
would they burn down our house?” Mia asked when she finally found her voice.
“Why would they come after us?”

Leah fell
back down on the sofa, as if her legs could no longer support her. “I…I let
Jackson stay at the house,” she finally whispered. “He had no place to go after
he got out. And I thought it would be okay since you and Mikey were going to be
away for a while.” Suddenly Leah sprang back up to her feet. “Oh my God, what
if Jackson was in the house.”

“Mr.
Wallace said no one was hurt,” Mia assured her. Knowing what she did of
Jackson, Mia wouldn’t be surprised if he had already fled Detroit.

“These
people,” Nate broke in, “were they expecting the money from you or were you
going to give it to Jackson?”

“To
Jackson. I told him I’d try to get it to him this week. He didn’t tell me when
he needed it but the way he was acting lately, I knew they were expecting it soon.”

“Do
you know who these guys are?” Mia asked.

Leah
shook her head.

Mia
closed her eyes. So because these animals hadn’t gotten their money, they had
burned down their house? Mia couldn’t take it anymore. Her head was pounding.
Everything that led up to today began to weigh on her.

“I
have to go back,” Mia said to no one in particular.

Nate
snapped his head around, scowling at her. “You’re not going anywhere.”

Mia
placed her fingers on her temples. “I have to go back and…well, I don’t know
yet but I have to see if there’s anything salvageable. I’m sure there are also
reports to fill out. Then there’s the bank and the insurance company…” Mia blew
out a breath, tears of frustration burning her eyes. “I don’t even remember the
name of the home insurance company,” she whispered.

Nate
gently pulled her into his arms. “Don’t worry about that right now,” he said
gently. “Tomorrow we’ll call the fire department and get this figured out. Once
we know it’s safe to go back there,
we’ll
go back.”

Mia
leaned into him, trying to absorb some of his strength. So much had happened in
so little time, her body and emotions felt as if they had gone through a
grinder.

Nate
turned to Leah. “Are you still set on going to California?”

Mia looked
over at sister, curious of her response. Though she wanted her sister to be
happy and follow her dreams, she didn’t know how she felt about her moving so
far away. Mia was too accustomed to having her near.

Leah
shrugged. “I would like to,” she said. “But I still don’t have enough saved up
yet.”

“Then
take the money I gave you and start with that,” Nate offered.

Leah narrowed
her eyes at him. “Are you sure? I mean, I’m happy to take it, but I don’t know
when I’ll be able to pay you back.”

“As
long as you leave this week, we can discuss repayment some other time,” Nate
said. “But just know that you’re not getting any more from me then what I wrote
that check for. The damage has been done so forget about helping your
boyfriend.”
 

Leah was
silent for a moment then said hesitantly, “Thanks. I guess.”

Nate
grunted. “Don’t think I’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart,” he said
curtly. “I just don’t like the idea of worrying about Mikey and Mia while
you’re here.”

As
Mia finally prepared for bed, she couldn’t stop thinking about her sister and
their frail relationship. She wished more than anything now that they were
closer, that her sister would have felt comfortable enough to talk to her about
this problem. Maybe it was up to her to try and strengthen their relationship. Mia
would make sure Leah didn’t leave here without knowing she could always come to
her with anything, that she would always be there for her.

Lost
in her thoughts, Mia didn’t realize Nate was standing so close until she ran
into him. The serious expression on his face said he wasn’t ready to turn in
just yet. Mia had an idea of what he had on his mind. She hadn’t missed the
small, black box he had slipped into the dresser drawer.

“Nate,
please,” she said, stepping around him to get to the bathroom. “Not
tonight.”
 

“I’m
not putting this off,” he said quietly, blocking her move. “I want to know why
you won’t marry me.”

She
let out a ragged sigh. “Nate, you don’t have to marry me,” she said, turning
away from him. “We don’t have a home to go back to, so you win. You’re now stuck
with us. I’m not taking Mikey anywhere.”

He
was silent for a moment then said softly, “But I
want
us to get married.” He turned her to face him. “I want us to
be a family, for you and Mikey to share my name.”

Mia’s
heart skipped. “I want that too,” she whispered.

“Good.”
Immense relief carried through that single word.

Suddenly
her mother’s words echoed in her head.
He has to love you more, Mia…
For now,
however, Mia would settle for him just loving her as much as she did him
because it would be impossible for him to love her that much more.

“But,”
she interjected, “we don’t have to get married to be a family. I don’t want you
to make that kind of commitment and decide years later, you want something
different. I’ll stay with you and we can continue as we are.”

Nate’s
eyes flared as he looked at her intently. “I know what I want,” he said
sharply. “And I want you, I want it all.”

But I want your love more.

Her
eyes blurred with tears but she didn’t know if it was from fatigue or from being
too terrified to hope this could be all she’d hoped for.

“Why
are you doing this?” he asked harshly when she stood staring at him in silence.
“I told you I love you and I know you still love me.”

This
made it twice now that he’d thrown those words at her but she didn’t know who
he was trying to convince more—her or himself. She shook her head, fighting the
tears that threatened to fall. She wanted so badly to believe him but she
couldn’t risk the kind of blow her heart would take if he grew to resent her or
they eventually ended in divorce.

“I do
love you,” she whispered. “And I won’t love you any less if we don’t get
married. But I need you to be sure you love me enough to want this forever,
Nate. Because nothing less will do.”

He stared
down at her, a sort of frustrated anger pulsating from him.

“We
can be a family,” she continued. “But I won’t marry you. Not until you’re sure that’s
what you
truly
want.”

She
pushed past him and headed to the bathroom, seeking refuge, if only for a
moment, to tend to her painfully aching heart.

Chapter Seventeen

The next few days were a whirlwind of activity. Between visiting
Nate’s father, calling the fire department, and tracking down the necessary
insurance information, she and Nate had little time to talk about their
relationship. She assumed he was taking her words into consideration and
assessing whether he truly wanted to bind himself into marriage.

She tried to give him some space, give
them
some room, but he refused to let her pull away. Each night,
they made love and every time after she found herself hauled against him.

Still, he never brought up the proposal.
 

She should have been content with that, happy he was thinking
before he offered something he would later regret, but the truth was she
wasn’t. She didn’t want him to have to think about wanting to marry her. She
wanted him to
know
.

This was all at her insistence, though, so if it didn’t result in
what she hoped for, she would just have to be content with them being a family and
Mikey having them both in his life.

Mia shoved the thoughts of their relationship aside and focused on
the things she needed to accomplish today, like help her sister prepare for her
journey to California.

Leah had not wanted to leave until she had gotten a hold of
Jackson. Once she had, Leah found out Jackson had indeed left Detroit, pretty
much as soon as she had. He had made his way to New York and had suggested Leah
move out there with him, while he waited for things to die down. Mia had been
thrilled and unbelievably proud of her sister for choosing to stick with her original
plan and follow her dreams to California.

With her sister preparing to leave, Mia realized she was going to
miss her. Before Leah headed to the door, she stopped and lifted Mikey up.

“Bye, Mouse,” she said, giving him a fierce hug and quick kiss on
the nose. “You be good, okay?”

“Okay!” Mikey agreed. “When can I come see you at Disneyland?”

Leah laughed. “I got to talk to Mickey first. See if he can use
another mouse in his kingdom.”

Mikey giggled and scrunched up his small shoulders. “Okay!”

Leah picked up her small bag as she started toward the door. Mia followed
her. She hated the idea of her sister making the long drive to California on
her own, but Leah seemed excited and unconcerned about it.

“Are you going to stop along the way?” Mia asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” her sister said with a small smile. She briefly lost
the smile and glanced away from her. “Mia, look, I’m sorry about the house. I
know how badly you wanted to keep it for Mama and had I known—” Leah cleared
her throat, her voice thick with emotion. “Anyway, I’m sorry.”

Mia studied her sister for a moment then gave her a fierce hug of
her own. Mia never understood why they weren’t as close as they could be, but it
was time she came to appreciate that she and Leah were two extraordinarily different
people and love her sister despite it.

Mia pulled away and looked at her. “It wasn’t your fault and I’m
just glad you were here with us when that all went down.” Mia paused then added
adamantly, “You mean more to me than that house, Leah. I love you and
appreciate all that you’ve done for me and Mikey.”

Her sister looked away, obviously embarrassed by her heavy display
of affection. It wasn’t something typical between them, but Mia felt she needed
her sister to know how she truly felt.

“Don’t get gushy on me now,” Leah teased, a soft smile on her
face. “You know I love your ass too.” For good measure, Leah smacked her butt. Right
before she walked out, she said as an afterthought. “I’m sure Nate is probably happy
to see me gone, but tell him I said thanks again. He’s a good man,” she added
with a nod.

Mias’ brow rose and Leah laughed. Just the other night, the two of
them had gotten into a heated argument on which route would be the safest for Leah
to take on her drive to California.

“I mean it,” Leah said, chuckling. “I see how he is with you and
Mikey. He’s one of the good ones.”

As Mia closed the door behind her sister, she thought about Nate, who
was actually at the hospital visiting his father now. Nate had decided to take
the rest of the week off from the office to visit with his father and then
tomorrow morning they would make the long drive to Detroit to inspect the
damage from the fire. She didn’t know what to expect when they got there but
she was bracing herself. To lose everything she owned, everything that had been
familiar to her, was scary.

The
good news though was Charles’ condition was steadily improving. Besides his
limited mobility, his speech was still clear and his mind just as sharp.

Mikey
came up to where she sat on the sofa and pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Mommy,
I’m hungry,” he declared, tugging on her skirt.

Mia
stroked his hair, loving the feel of the soft strands. She glanced at the clock
hanging on the wall. It was a little before noon.

“What
do you want? Grilled cheese or peanut butter and jelly?” Mia knew what the
answer would be.

“Grill
cheese!” he exclaimed.

Like
father, like son, Mia thought with a smile.

She
remembered a time long ago when she’d made Nate such a simple meal. He had
devoured it with such relish, as if it had been fine cuisine.

While she prepared the quick lunch for her son, a knock came at
the door. Mia slid the sandwich out of the pan and headed toward the door. They
weren’t expecting anyone or any deliveries, and it couldn’t be Leah. By now her
sister was probably well past the Illinois state line.

If it was one of those sales people, Mia was not interested. She
looked through the peephole and couldn’t make out the face that stared back at
her through the tiny window.

“Who is it?” she called out through the door.

* * * *

Nate looked down at his father while he waited for him to exhaust
himself with his tirade.

“I said I want to leave this place, damn it!” his father raged
from his hospital bed.

“You’re scheduled to be released tomorrow morning,” Nate said dryly.
“Just one more day. You’ll survive.”

“How the hell would you know,” Charles snapped. “You’re not lying
here, being touched and picked on by some kids. This place is ridiculous.”

Nate sat by his father’s bedside and listened to him vent about
his mistreatment at the hands of every hospital staff member that walked into
his room. If Charles could have gotten out of the bed without requiring
assistance, Nate had no doubt he would have gladly walked out of the hospital. His
father’s surliness, however, didn’t bother him—it actually comforted him in a
way. Nate could handle the aggressive, demanding man that was his father better
than he could the weak, frail man that had been lying unmoving just days ago.

When his father was done berating the hospital staff, who he was
once again accusing of holding him against his will, he started in on Nate.
“Why the hell haven’t you brought my grandson to see me?”

“If you were on your deathbed, then maybe we would have brought
him in to see you,” Nate explained. After what Mikey had experienced with Mia’s
mother, they had both decided
                                                                                                                                                             
to spare Mikey the trauma of coming to the hospital. “You’ll also be back
home tomorrow, anyway,” Nate added, “so he can see you then.”

Charles grunted. “You’re right,” his father said disgruntled. “I don’t
want him to see me like this. Like some helpless old relic.” After a short
pause, he asked. “Have you looked into that lawyer I told you about? You know it
wouldn’t be hard for the court to grant you full custody.”

Nates’ jaw clenched. He didn’t want to have this conversation with
his father. He was still trying to figure out how to convince Mia that he was
truly, madly, and deeply in love with her. She didn’t believe him when he told
her. It was as if she wanted him to prove it to her somehow. He had thought a
ring would be the surest way but obviously it wasn’t, and Nate was at a loss.
How did he prove to her that he loved and needed her more than he needed his
next breath?

“There isn’t going to be a custody battle,” Nate said tightly.
“Mia and Mikey are both staying with me and once I can convince Mia to say yes,
we’re going to be married.”

His father stared at him shrewdly. “Convince her?”

“Yes,” Nate said simply. His father was the last person he was
prepared to take advice from, and he certainly wouldn’t be discussing his
relationship with his father.

Charles was silent for a moment then said, “Maybe she’s not as
smart as I’d thought. No smart woman would turn down marriage, especially not a
woman in her situation.”

“Well, shows how little you know about her,” Nate said curtly.
“Mia loves me and I love her. When she eventually agrees to marry me, you’ll be
the first invited to the wedding.”

After a brief pause, Charles grunted. “If you’re so set on
throwing your freedom away, by all means, get married,” Charles mumbled. “See
how far
love
takes you. Just don’t be
surprised when it takes you to the cleaners!”

Nate stared at his father, trying to understand the source of his
misery and bitterness. From what he could remember, his parents had spent much
of their time away from each other and, in
turn, Nate had spent a substantial part of his childhood away
at boarding schools. That had actually been fine by him because the time away
from them was what kept him sane.

“Was having
a family that unbearable for you?” Nate asked quietly. He hadn’t meant to say
the words out loud but now they hovered between them, heavy and thick in the
private room.

“It
certainly hadn’t been heartwarming,” Charles snapped. “Saddled with a
money-hungry whore of a wife and a son who hated my guts? Who wouldn’t be
thrilled to come home to that?”

Nate
barely got over his shock at his father’s sarcastic accusation enough to hear
the rest of his bitter words. He couldn’t believe his father’s audacity.
Charles McArthur was the one who had acted as if his son and wife had been an
unwanted burden to him. It wasn’t until Nate had passed adolescence and shown
promise of being an astute businessman that his father had begun paying
attention to him.

“I
don’t hate you,” Nate murmured.

His
father fell silent, his entire body rigid.

“I
don’t know why you would think that,” Nate continued. “You’re the one who kept
your distance, who stayed away and then sent me away.” Nate’s tone carried his
own resentment. Growing up, Nate had wanted nothing more than for his father to
laugh and joke with him, to just…notice him. Instead he’d been treated with a
cold indifference, which he had ultimately learned to project back at his
father. Eventually it had come so naturally that Nate didn’t realize when he
would turn it on. Was that why his father thought he hated him?

Have you ever talked to him about how you
feel?
Mia’s words sounded
so clearly in his head, he couldn’t ignore them.

For
the first time, in his thirty-five years, Nate finally told his father how he
felt. He didn’t care what his father thought, whether he agreed or disagreed,
he laid down everything. It was relieving, almost liberating, to finally unload
all his bitterness and resentment about the kind of father he was and the kind
of father Nate had wished he’d been.

“All that
doesn’t matter anymore,” Nate ended quietly, looking down at his father who lay
staring up at the ceiling, listening silently. “You’re the only father I’ve got
and I’m the only son you’ve got. So for better or worse, we’re stuck with each
other.”

His father
continued to say nothing but that didn’t bother Nate. He’d said what he’d needed
to say and now he didn’t have to ever speak of it, never have to revisit it,
again. They could either continue to let their past resentments drive them even
further apart or they could move past it. Either way, Nate was looking forward
to fostering his relationship with his own son.

He
eventually left the hospital with the realization that his father would always
be who he was, and Nate would just have to accept him and move on. A heaviness
he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying was suddenly lifted. He felt lighter,
more at ease. He now had the kind of family he’d always wanted and he was
suddenly impatient to get to them.

As
Nate neared the condo, Mia called. He smiled. No matter what, he would find a
way to convince her that they were meant to be together, that they were meant
to be one.

“Hey,
baby,” he said into the phone. “I was just thinking about you.”

“Nate?
Where are you?”

He
frowned at the soft edge in her voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…”
she said. “I don’t think. It’s just that…there’s this guy from your office here
who said you sent him to pick up some files? He said you were tied up in a
meeting, but I thought you weren’t going into the office today.”