Becoming Lady Thomas (Becoming Her Book 1) (6 page)

“Mmm,” I moan against my will.

His mouth owns mine and shows no signs of stopping. When he grabs my hips and pushes me harder against him, I cry out. I’m not sure what to even call him, and this sobers me instantly. I tear away from him and swallow gulps of air.

“What do I call you?”

A name falls from his lips before he roughly takes my mouth with his.

Jasper.

The way his length rubs the place he drew out so much pleasure from earlier has me rocking against him. I want to feel it again—the sensation from before that was so foreign yet so delicious. While in his arms, it’s now all I can think about.

“I want to be inside you, darling, more than I have ever desired anything in my entire life,” he murmurs as he kisses me.

Traitorous thoughts of him pushing his thickness into me flood my mind, and surprisingly, that turns me on even more. I want to be embarrassed at the way I’m writhing in his arms, but the desire to find that pleasure again wins out.

“Make me see stars again,” I whisper against his lips.

A groan of satisfaction comes from him, and his hand slides under my dress. I yelp when he pushes a finger deep inside me. Then his palm massages me in the spot from before as he probes from within me. It’s dizzying. Exotic. Addicting.

Shamelessly, I ride his finger. I urge him with my body to touch me exactly where I need to be touched. It doesn’t take long, for my body to deliciously tighten as my release nears. I’m caught in the web that is him.

“Jasper,” I moan, the name unfamiliar to my lips, as the stars blind me.

All sensations are lost aside from the gratifying one that seizes my very being. When the contractions of my inner womb subside, I pull away to look at him. His finger is still inside me, and he smiles crookedly at me in smug satisfaction.

“It would seem I’ll be taking this”—he wiggles his finger—“before nightfall tomorrow. When shall I begin calling you Lady Thomas?”

The moment he slips his finger out, I slap him hard across his scruffy cheek. A sting instantly burns my palm, but I glower at him through it.

“Never. I may let you pleasure me, but you’ll never own me. I’m afraid I just used you for my own personal gain. I intend on winning this bet and driving you mad in the process.”

This statement wipes the idiotic grin right from his face.

It’s been several hours since we arrived at his manor in London. I managed to keep my features cool and unimpressed as he guided me into the enormous estate. Everything about it spoke of luxury and old money. Each person I was introduced to was friendly and polite. But I refuse to allow myself to grow comfortable.

“We’ve prepared a meal for you and Lord Thomas,” Gerald speaks through the door of my new prison.

“I’ll be right down,” I promise so that he’ll leave me be.

Once I’m sure he’s gone, I let curiosity get the best of me and open the armoire. Inside, it’s stuffed full of expensive fabrics—dresses and petticoats I could only ever dream of wearing. I run my hand over a corset and can’t help the smile that forms on my lips. I’ve never had the opportunity to dress up for anything. The dresses I did own were hand-me-downs from that of my older sister. A part of me wants to be pretty.

For him.

My skin flushes, and I sit back down on the bed. Guilt consumes me because I’m thinking about Jasper and his magical wizard hands instead of my William, who is probably grieving for me with a sore jaw.

Who have I become?

I don’t deserve William. He waited for me for four long years only for me to be whisked away by some rich, pompous arse.

A handsome, pompous arse.

I fan myself with my hand and lie back on the bed. The towel I wrapped myself up in after my bath falls open, and a breeze from the open window swirls in, chilling my flesh.

Can I really win this bet against Lord Thomas?

I’m not ready to lose my virginity to him yet.

No.

I’m not ready to lose my virginity to him
ever.

Closing my eyes, I remember the way he owned a part of me that nobody ever has. I also remember the way William was planning to take my innocence so long ago. There is a difference I’ve been ignoring. Jasper made me want to make love by pleasing and teasing my body. William was ready to shove it right in without any pleasure on my end.

My God, why am I comparing them?

There should be no contest. William is my love, not Jasper.

Sitting up, I make a decision. Tonight, I’m going to make myself so irresistible to him that he’ll barely be able to contain himself. I’ll make him want to take me. With this thought, the realization that I’ll be setting myself up for hardship no matter what floods through me. If I win, that means Jasper will have stolen my innocence against my will. If he wins, that means I will have given it up willingly.

Either way, he’ll have taken me.

Jasper.

The idea of him being inside me, causing me to feel more of what he teased me with earlier, sends ripples of excitement running through me. He doesn’t have to know I am curious about how he would feel. That I desire it more than I’ll ever admit.

In fact, I’ll drive him to the brink of insanity, all the while claiming that I hate his very being. He’ll go mad and take me. And then I can go home to William.

I’ll be tainted.

A frown plays at my lips. Would William want me anymore if I’ve been used by another man? I’m unsure.

It doesn’t matter though. I’ll be free of a loveless marriage. Father’s name and debts will be cleared. It’s simple, really.

I take my time dressing even though I’ve already been summoned for supper. Nearly an hour later, I’m dabbing on a squirt of one of the many vials of perfume I discovered in the washroom when the bedroom door swings open.

“Dammit, woman. I’ve been waiting for too damn long. If this is some petulant game you’re playing—” he roars, but his words die in his throat upon seeing me.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him innocently. “I got a little caught up in playing dress-up.”

His dark eyes have fallen to my chest, and I feel my skin heat up. The corset I’m wearing pushes my breasts up, giving them the most breathtaking cleavage they’ve ever had.

“My God,” he growls. “You’re absolutely stunning.”

I can barely breathe in this thing, but with his hungry gaze, he steals the only breath I have left.

“I, uh . . . Thank you.”

After stalking toward me, he invades my space as he places his hands on my hips and pulls me to him. “I want you so incredibly much, honeysuckle. My cock aches to plunge into your tight heat. Please let me have you.”

I gulp but press my palms against his chest and push him away. “No. You and I both know it’s not going to happen.”

As I retreat, he encroaches on me. I don’t stop until the wall behind me prevents me from going any farther. His hands slide into my hair, which now hangs in loose waves down my back. Tilting my head up, he captures my lips with his. I can taste liquor on his tongue, and I wish for a drink of my own, because in my sober state, I’m not sure I have the nerve to keep him away. The desire to block out everything but him is strong.

He breaks away after a heated kiss and stares down at me. “Dear Elisabeth, it’s going to happen.”

I shake my head, but when he dips his head down and suckles on my neck, I lose all sense of reality. The room spins as I give in. I give in to his touches and caresses, the way he cups my breasts through my dress, the way he teases my earlobe with his tongue and then teeth. I’m moments away from begging him to do his worst when my stomach grumbles loudly.

He begins to chuckle. “Honeysuckle, we need to get some food in that belly. You’re going to need the energy for what I plan to do to your body later.”

The wind breezes through the room again and causes me to shiver. I’m unsure if it’s the chill of the air or the heat of his words. One thing is certain. I’m affected by him whether I like it or not.

“Come.” He smirks before grabbing hold of my hand and pulling me out of the room.

As we walk down the ornate hallways, I can’t help but wonder if I would feel the same way had there never been a relationship between William and me. Would I easily let this man into my heart and into my bed?

I think I would.

And that horrifies me.

We make our way into the opulent dining room, and Jasper drags a chair out for me to sit. Once we’ve been seated, Gretchen sets to dishing out foods I’ve never even seen before. Everything I sample is much saltier and richer in taste than I’m used to. And I find myself guzzling the wine to wash down the unusual flavors.

Gretchen eventually clears the table aside from our wineglasses. Dinner consisted of surprisingly pleasant conversation, mostly of Jasper telling me about some of the sights worth seeing in the city. I’d almost forgotten I was here against my will until he spoke again.

“If William loved you like you say, why didn’t he marry you the day you turned eighteen?” he questions with a narrowed gaze, as if he’s truly trying to work out the reasoning in his head.

His words catch me off guard, so I drain my wineglass while I decide on how to answer him.

“Um, good question,” I spit out bitterly. “He had his ‘reasons’.”

He raises a dark eyebrow at me but wisely doesn’t speak.

“What if I don’t want to talk about it?” I ask.

“If you’re going to be my wife, I must know things about you. This is something that piques my curiosity. I wonder how it is that someone would let someone like you slip through his fingertips. You’re a unique and polished ruby I was lucky enough to stumble upon. I’ll never let you slip away.”

I want to remind him that I have no plans to be his wife, but I instead find odd comfort in his words. The day I turned eighteen without a word from William, I was beyond stung. I was heartbroken. It wasn’t until a few days later that I received his letter.

I blink the tears away once I’ve recited the memorized letter to him and find that Jasper is watching me with clenched teeth.

“That was it? Some ridiculous notion that you needed to wait for him to graduate?”

Nodding, I lift my hand and swipe a stray tear from my cheek. Even though the letters kept us in continuous communication, the love I had for him had dimmed that night in the barn before he left. I spent the next four years pining over the idea of him. And when he arrived yesterday, I was spellbound by his presence. Intrigued with the way he had changed.

Yet I still had the same uncomfortable feeling I’d had in the barn all those years ago.

Jasper reaches over and takes hold of my hand. “Honeysuckle, I will have a ring on that finger within four nights’ time, I can assure you of that. In fact, I might even pay to have the jeweler rush the design of it. I cannot bear another moment without it on that elegant finger of yours.”

He squeezes my hand, and I award him with a smile. I imagined I would seduce this man into taking me, and now, here I am, enjoying his company. I didn’t tell anyone, not even Ella, of the heartache I’d felt when he sent that letter. Yet I told this stranger.

“I want to hold you, Elisabeth.”

For some reason, I want him to hold me too.