Becoming Sister Wives: The Story of an Unconventional Marriage (8 page)

Despite our initial resistance, something was pulling us together. I couldn’t deny that Christine would be part of my family someday, but we all needed to grow up first.

I loved Kody and Meri, and although my crush on Kody was getting serious, I wasn’t interested in marriage yet. Still, I was always eager to hang out with them. Whenever my parents hosted a volleyball party, Meri and Kody always topped the guest list. After spirituality and faith, the trait my dad values most is athleticism, so he was taken with Kody from the start. Whenever I talked to my dad about boys I was interested in, he always steered the conversation in the same direction. “And how is Kody?” he’d ask.

Kody made a big splash when he joined our faith. He was nice looking—which impressed a lot of the women—but he was also well spoken and outspoken. He was confident when he talked in front of a crowd. He knew how to take a spiritual concept and deliver it in a positive and inspiring way. He made a good impression on the people in charge of our church and was often called upon to speak at fireside meetings.

About a year after I first met Kody and Meri, Kody organized a youth trip up to his parents’ ranch in Wyoming. Kody wanted to
expose his younger peers to his parents’ lifestyle and introduce his parents to young people in their new faith.

By this time it was pretty clear that I had developed a serious crush on Kody. I was always hanging around Meri and him. So when we all piled in our caravan of cars to drive to Wyoming, I got someone to drive my car, and I made sure that I rode in Kody’s.

Nineteen people headed up to the ranch for the weekend. We set off from my house in Utah, but when we hit the mountain passes, we drove into a massive snowstorm. It was unbelievably slow going and we had to stop and take turns pushing one another’s cars.

The drive should have taken half a day, but we wound up being on the road overnight because of the weather. Since we were all young, it was still fun being out there together. It felt like an adventure.

We drove all night to Wyoming. It was dangerous. Meri and I rode in the front seat and Christine sat in the back. I kept looking at Christine in the rearview mirror. For months, I’d been watching her. I loved her spark, her bubbliness. She was so full of life and enthusiasm–just the perfect person to have along on a miserable drive. In fact, I was discovering that Christine was the kind of person I wanted to have around all the time. She lit up every room and brought a fun, positive energy to any event. Meri often stood on the sidelines during games and group activities. But Christine was always willing to participate in anything, no matter how silly.

When we set out on our road trip, I was convinced that
Christine was the cutest girl in the world, although she was a little chubby. Back then, I was young and superficial enough to care about physical appearances. After we’d been on the road all night, we stopped at a gas station. I’d been drinking soda pop to stay awake and my stomach felt sour and upset. Just thinking about food made me queasy.

Christine went into the Quickie Mart and bought herself what seemed looked like the largest portion of chili cheese nachos that I’d ever seen. The sight of those nachos turned my stomach. I couldn’t watch her eat them. She must have been starving, because she was eating so quickly, and there was chili sauce and nacho cheese everywhere.

Looking back, I hate myself for the thoughts I had at that moment, but the sight of this chubby girl in my car devouring chili cheese nachos for breakfast put the brakes on our relationship. It brought out the most superficial and shallowest side of me. I still liked her—in fact, I liked her very much—but the nacho experience cooled my attraction a little—well, a lot.

Of course, I had no idea that I’d grossed Kody out with my nachos. I was an overweight kid who liked junk food a little too much. And of all the junk foods in the world, chili cheese nachos were my favorite.

When we finally got to the ranch, Kody transformed into a hero. He was a total stud. All the girls on the trip watched him with their mouths wide open, myself included. I’d seen Kody in action back in Utah. I’d seen him display his talents in church, and I’d seen how he transformed himself into the life of every party. But now I was seeing a whole new side of him.

Kody was the complete cowboy. At the ranch, he was instantly in his element. He got right in there and wrangled cows. He worked the fields. He shoveled and cleaned and got down and dirty with all the animals. I was totally impressed. I thought Kody was the coolest guy in the world.

When I got back home, I was gushing about Kody to a friend. She knew that I wanted to be a third wife, so we came up with a plan. She’d marry Kody first and be his second wife. A few months later, I would join them as third wife. I took this plan much more seriously than my friend, who eventually got married to another man.

My visit to Wyoming had made a fantastic impression on me and I was eager to return. I had become very close to Kody’s sister, so when she invited me to spend the summer with her at the Browns’ ranch, I accepted immediately.

While I was living with the Browns, a local family started to express their interest in our faith. They had a daughter who, on one visit, spotted a picture of Kody. The minute I saw her look at it, I knew she’d be interested in him. I felt very threatened by her—she was beautiful and thin, and I was immediately afraid she’d catch Kody’s eye.

A few months after I met her, this girl was invited to come to an event in Utah for the younger members of our faith. Since I was going down, it fell to me to drive her and to introduce her to some of my friends. Not doing so would have appeared selfish.

I drove the new girl and her brothers to Utah. The whole ride down I kept saying to myself, “What are you doing, you idiot?” I was completely threatened by her. When I got to the youth event, I immediately realized that all my fears were well founded! Right away, Kody and Meri took particular notice of her. Their interest was overwhelming and undeniable. I was heartbroken and jealous, tortured by the fact that Kody seemed to find her more attractive than me. To make things worse, she and Meri
hit it off immediately. They became inseparable—instantaneous best friends.

One morning after I returned from the ranch, Kody and Meri came to pick me up. We’d made plans to spend the day together in the city. Before we left, we lingered on the porch of my parents’ house. Kody and Meri had strange looks on their faces—they seemed excited, but a little nervous. Then they told me that they were courting the girl I’d introduced them to at the youth conference.

I was devastated. It ruined my day. In fact, it ruined my year. I decided then and there that I was not going to marry Kody, no matter what happened. It wasn’t because of Kody. It was because of the girl he and Meri were courting. She was too young and too cute. And I just couldn’t see her in my future. I broke off the friendship. I couldn’t be around Kody and Meri while they were courting someone else.

Kody and Meri’s news was not the most devastating blow I received that year—not by a long shot. A few months after I returned to Utah, my parents told me they were getting a divorce. Even worse, my mother had decided to leave our faith, which felt like the worst kind of abandonment. I was stunned and inconsolable. I felt as if my world was disintegrating. I’d seen no signs of trouble between my parents and I couldn’t imagine a life in which we would no longer be a cohesive family.

I completely shut down. I didn’t want anything to do with any of my old friends. I couldn’t bear associating with people in Kody’s circle or people who’d known my family when it was intact.

I turned inward. I told my father that I wasn’t interested in dating and that if a boy approached him and expressed interest in me, I didn’t want to know about it. I was so shaken by my parents’ divorce that I wanted to make sure I was solid in my faith before I committed myself to someone else. Naturally, I questioned
the whole concept of marriage. If my parents couldn’t sustain their relationship, what chance did I have when the time came?

Even though I’d cut myself off from a lot of my friends, Meri and I still talked on the phone from time to time. I resisted these phone calls because I didn’t want to hear about the courtship. It had been prolonged because Kody and Meri wanted to wait for the girl they were courting to turn eighteen before making their engagement official. Even though I wanted nothing to do with it, I heard when they got engaged, and I knew when they set the date for the wedding.

A week before the wedding, I received a phone call. I was standing in the kitchen when I answered the phone. It was Meri on the other end of the line. My heart nearly exploded with joy when Meri explained that the wedding had been called off. It was the happiest day of my life. I felt as if I could re-enter the world again. I immediately welcomed Kody and Meri back.

But my happiness was short-lived. One day, completely out of the blue, Kody called me up.

“Christine,” he said. “Janelle is driving me crazy. I can’t stand it. She really frustrates me.”

“Who is Janelle?” I said. I had no idea who he was talking about.

“You know her,” Kody said. “You’ve met her here and there.”

I had no idea why Kody was bringing this problem to me. Anyway, there was a simple solution. If this woman Janelle was making Kody crazy, wouldn’t the easiest thing to do be to stop associating with her?

How wrong I was! The next thing I knew, he and Meri had married Janelle. Of course, I thought this was really weird because Kody had told me that she was driving him crazy. It took me a while to realize what kind of crazy Kody had meant.

After Janelle joined their family, they moved to Wyoming. I had just let Kody and Meri back into my life and now they had moved away with another wife. I hadn’t just lost a man who was special to me—I’d lost my best friends.

After I married Janelle, we traveled down to Utah for a weekend to visit Meri’s parents. While we were there, we invited Christine over for dinner. I was used to the gregarious, bubbly Christine. But when she showed up that evening, I immediately sensed an underlying sadness and turmoil within her. It made me sad to see her struggling.

On her way out the door, I pulled her aside. We stepped out on the porch so we could chat. Then I asked her what was wrong.

“Nothing. Everything’s fine,” she said.

I knew she wasn’t telling the truth, and I told her so. I insisted that she tell me what was going on—she was my friend, I loved her, and I needed to know what was breaking her heart.

“It’s my parents’ divorce,” she said. This admission opened up the floodgates, and suddenly Christine felt that she could be open and honest with me once more. I felt the old spark that had always been between us ignite again.

“You know, Christine,” I said, “this ordeal may help you in the future. It will make you stronger and more self-aware. And one day you’re going to marry a man who is going to appreciate that you’ve been through something like this and that you have survived it.”

I didn’t tell her at the time, but I had a feeling that the man she would marry was going to be me.

Kody really knew how to break my heart. When he told me that one day I’d marry a man who’d appreciate my strength, I was distraught. It seemed that he was implying that he was not going be the man in my future.

Even though I was devastated, I was still more than a little smitten. That night when Kody left, I stood at the door to Meri’s parents’ house and said good-bye.

“It’s not
good-bye,
” Kody said. “It’s au revoir.” Even though Kody’s line was cheesy, it sent a current of electricity down my spine. He was flirting with me! Kody shut the door and walked down the steps with Meri toward their car, leaving me inside.

Meri’s family immediately sensed what had passed between Kody and me. They all gave me knowing looks. Their faces were warm and inviting, as if they were giving me and Kody their approval. Meri’s family’s encouragement was too much for me. I believe I gave a small fist pump of joy, then swooned on the couch. I have always been a little dramatic! I knew that no matter what he said, Kody was still the one for me.

A few months later, Kody and Meri came down to Utah for the New Year’s ball at our church. Kody asked me to dance over and over and over. I was giddy and could barely keep my feet on the floor. It was the best night of my life. I felt as if I was glittering and glowing.

Right after New Year’s, I got a phone call from Meri saying she was planning a surprise party for Kody in Wyoming. She wanted to know if I would bring a group of friends up from Utah. Naturally, I was delighted. I simply couldn’t wait to see Kody again.

When Kody walked into the room for his surprise party and saw a bunch of us gathered there, his eyes locked on mine. I knew then how he felt. It gave me courage. The next day we
found ourselves alone for the first time. We were sitting on the couch and I just came out with it. “Of all the guys I know, you are the one I’d want to marry.”

I was proud of myself for being so forthcoming and honest. Meri’s sister Teresa and I drove back to Utah that night. We giggled the entire ride about my future with Kody. When I got back home, I immediately approached my grandfather, who was the head of our church. “Should Kody Brown ask,” I said, “tell him that the answer is yes. Let him know that I definitely want to be part of his family.”

Christine really made it easy for me to get permission to court her. When I called her dad, he was thrilled. “This is great, Kody. This is great,” he said. It was exactly what he’d been hoping for.

Christine’s father was aware of how she glowed when we were together. He was also aware of how she had pushed all other boys to the sidelines in favor of me. He wanted her to be happy. And now he knew that she made me happy. “Christine just loves you,” her father said.