BEFORE (3 page)

I fidget with my handbag. The gift from Beck and me is tucked inside. But after seeing the pile of impressively wrapped presents, I’m not entirely sure I want to give it to my brother and his new mate. After all, who really needs potholders when you have servants to cook for you?

Every so often, Mother leans into Annalise and whispers something I can’t hear. I’m wedged between Mother and Callum, and he’s constantly looking over my head at the two of them. Like our mother, he’s blond and tall. But he has none of her charisma. He’s hard, cruel, and smug. 

And from the scowl on his face and the dirty looks he keeps giving me, he isn’t happy about my placement in the line. 

“I’m impressed, Lark,” my brother says. “You left your lap dog behind. Perhaps you’re finally coming to your senses.”

I swivel my head to get a better look at my brother. His lips curl back, exposing his gleaming teeth. 

“What?”

“Oh come now. You’re nearly sixteen, surely you’ve–”

“Callum! That’s enough.” Mother snaps and the line of well-wishers grinds to a silent halt. “You will not berate your sister.” Her eyes flash with agitation. “And you will treat her birth-mate with respect.”

The bright lights and too curious stares eat away at whatever shreds of confidence I have left. I want to slink away and never come back, but doing so would only draw attention to the fact Mother’s reprimand seems to be not only for Callum, but for everyone in the room. 

My brother’s glare burns the side of my face. He hates Beck and I have no idea why. The State paired us because we’re perfect for each other. Like Annalise must be for Callum. Everyone knows State doesn’t make mistakes.

“Beck,” Mother calls out. “Can you come here, please?”

Even though he looks calm, I can tell he’s upset from the way he rolls his shoulders and holds his head at a slight angle. When he passes through the crowd, people step back, out of his way, as if he were toxic.

It breaks my heart to see him treated so poorly.

“Enough!” Mother exclaims. Fear rolls through the crowd. I’ve never seen Mother act anything but refined or polished. And I’ve never heard of her losing her temper like this. 

When Beck reaches my side, he juts out his arm as if to wrap it around me, but at the last minute, shoves his hand in his pocket. A chill runs through me. 

  “Good word, Mother! Are you going to let them behave like that? It’s disgraceful.” My brother’s words cut through the silence. 

“Like what?” I ask, moving closer to Beck so that our elbows touch. Anger builds in my chest and pushes against my ribcage. The lights in the room flicker and a collection of hushed whispers whips through the room. “We’re just standing here. I’m sorry if you don’t like us.”

“Him, Lark. I don’t like him.”

My blood boils and I narrow my eyes. How dare he. I wiggle my fingers against my thigh and, without thinking, raise them to my lips, but stop when my hand is at chest level. My fingers are splayed wide, and I’m not sure what to do, so I grab my bow. 

Callum jumps back, his eyes wide with fear. His reaction is so unexpected, I grin. “You don’t like Beck?” I say, my voice louder than I expected. Right now, I don’t care who hears me. 

“Why? Because everyone else does?”

As the words leave my mouth, I realize how silly I sound. No one here seems to like him, or at the very least, they’re merely tolerating him. But why? What has he done besides not get along with Callum?

My smile fades and I clench my jaw. Did my brother spread lies about Beck? That must be it. No one has ever not liked Beck.

“You…you…” I stutter as my thoughts form in my head.

Beck reaches out and grabs my hand. My racing heartbeat slows. “It’s okay. I know he doesn’t like me.” 

I nod and glance toward the door. “Can we leave?” I mutter. 

Mother sighs and offers me her hand. “Walk with me, Love?” When she sees me look to Beck, she adds, “Will you be okay on your own?”

Before he can answer, Mother guides me toward the door. My stomach sinks and I instinctively turn my head back to where Beck stands, looking confused and lost. Like earlier, he’s surrounded by a void that no one wants to cross. Only this time, he looks torn between doing what she asks and following us. I’d rather not leave him, but I can’t stay in that room. 

“Don’t worry about him, Love. He’ll be fine. I promise.” Mother pats my hand and leads me out of the ballroom and into a long hallway. “No one would dare hurt him.”

My eyes grow large. “Hurt him? Why would anyone want to hurt Beck?”

A soft laugh tumbles out of Mother. “They don’t. I simply meant…” She waves her hand dismissively. “Callum. I know how he’s treated the two of you in the past.”

We step into a pristine white hallway. The pale wooden floors bleed into the soft white walls which in turn become a series of arches soaring above us. The only color comes from an occasional swish of pale blue accenting a molding or curve. 

At the end of the hallway, Mother gestures to an open doorway. “The Library,” she says.

In my school books, I’ve read how libraries were once filled with dusty tomes of paper. Dark places where people toiled for hours at small desks and under bad lighting. Mother’s library couldn’t be more different. The blank walls indicate the presence of dozens of wall screens and even though night has fallen, the entire room is swathed in warm light. 

“Please, sit,” she says as she arranges herself in an armchair.

My heart hammers hard and I’m positive she can hear it. Like most children, I’ve never been alone with my mother. But I’ve dreamt of this moment and now that it’s here, I’m afraid it won’t live up to my dreams.

“I hear you’re top of your class.”

It takes every ounce of self-control to not touch my lips, so I sit on my hands. “I am.” I smile before adding, “Beck is second.”

“And you have a talent in agriculture?”

“Mr. Trevern–he’s my teacher–he says if I continue the way I have, there’s no doubt I’ll place into Agriculture.” My voice sounds foreign to my ears. Too eager. Too excited.

Mother sighs and the sound hurtles through the air, straight into my heart, leaving a vague sensation of disappointment in its path. “Is that what you want?”

I nod. While I do well in all my classes, it’s agriculture that excites me. There’s nothing I love more than working side-by-side with Mr. Trevern on complex cross-breeding problems. 

“Love, look around you. Did you see all the dignitaries here this evening? Do you know why they stare at you with such curiosity and ignore your brother?”

“Because I’m with Beck?”

Mother’s lips purse and she shakes her head. “No. Because every one of them knows the promise you hold–on your own. You don’t need Beck to make you special.” She smiles. “It would be a shame to waste your natural abilities digging in dirt.”

Natural abilities? “Agriculture is what I’m good at. Beck is the one who wants to go into Diplomacy.”

Mother leans forward. Her eyes bore into me. “You love the party don’t you? The music and dancing? This could be your life in a few short years.”

“At my binding?”

Exasperation crosses Mother’s face and a sense of foolishness fills me. “That too. But I’m talking about your career. Look at Annalise. She’s going to rise rapidly. The women of our family always do.”

I’m trying–really trying–to follow Mother’s line of reasoning, but she’s lost me. Annalise isn’t a direct descendant of a Founder and she’s only been part of our family for a few hours. 

Mother sits back and twirls a long strand of pearls around her finger. “Oh Love, I suppose you’re not ready yet. I had hoped things would change for you today.”

Disappointment wells in me. First, I cause a scene in the reception line and now I’m unable to tell Mother what she wants to hear, because I don’t understand what she’s asking. This is not how I wanted our first real conversation to go.

“I’ll try, Mother. Whatever you want. I’ll try.” And I mean it. At this very moment, pleasing my mother is all I want.

A wide smile stretches across her face. “You will won’t you?”

I nod, eager to do whatever she asks. 

“You’re a darling girl, Lark. I couldn’t be happier with you.” She stands and stares down at me. “But now, you must hurry back to the party. Everyone needs to see how happy you are. Can you do that? Show everyone how much you love being here?”

A weird fog settles over my brain and I blink my eyes in an attempt to stay awake. I felt fine minutes ago, but now, all I want to do is curl up in bed and sleep. 

“I’m…very tired.”

Mother’s hypnotizing blue eyes sparkle. “No. You are definitely not tired. You want to dance.”

My head nods in agreement. 

“Very good. I’ll have Carter escort you back.” I want to ask why she isn’t coming with me, but the words lock up in my throat. 

A man–Carter, I assume–stands at the end of the sofa. Where did he…was he always here? I don’t remember him coming in. How strange.

He holds out his arm to me. “Miss Lark? Shall we?”

My body floats across the room as if propelled by an outside force. Even if I wanted to sit and talk to Mother, I wouldn’t be able to. It’s as if my mind and body are controlled by two different entities. 

Mother bids me good-night and I slink along next to Carter, out the double doors, and into the foyer. As we pass stray guests, I hear an occasional mention of my name, but I tune it all out and focus on my conversation with Mother.

I never thought about it before, but this is my introduction to the State and it would serve me well to make a good impression. Resolve builds in my core, lifting my spirits. I can do this. I can be Lark Greene, a Founder’s descendant and future States woman. I don’t need to hide behind Beck anymore.  

“Shall I accompany you inside, Miss Lark?” Carter asks when we reach the ballroom door. 

Lightning fast guitar music washes over me and my toes tap in anticipation. “No. I’m fine, thank you.”

As soon as I step into the room, a camera beelines for me. I lift my chin and smile, determined to show everyone watching on the feeds how happy I am. Just like Mother asked. 

“Lark?” Annalise runs up to me, dragging a boy I’ve never met before by the hand. “May I introduce Sevrin?”

The boy is tall with copper-colored hair and warm brown eyes. The kind of boy my friend Kyra would love. I hold out my hand and wait for him to take it. “It’s a pleasure.”

“Will you join me in this dance?” Sevrin asks. 

Annalise gives me an encouraging shove. “Go on. Have fun.”

Sevrin spins me out onto the dance floor. His hand feels heavy in mine and a little too sweaty, but it isn’t my place to complain. We dance through one song and into the beginning of another, when a different boy cuts in.

The new boy–whose name I didn’t catch–is a vast improvement over Sevrin. He keeps us spinning and dancing and moving between the other couples without breaking a sweat. I smile up at him to show my appreciation.

“I’ve been wanting to speak to you all night,” he says.

I bat my eyes, like I’ve seen Kyra do when she’s pretending to be flattered. “Oh?”