Before Him Comes Me (14 page)

“Alright. I am here if you need me,” Liliana stands up and
makes her ways toward the door. “How were your classes?”

“Good. I have a lot of reading to do.”

“Welcome to college. Yeah, there are parties and fun but it’s
mostly studying.” Opening the door, Liliana greets a couple of the girls from
down the hall as they returned to their room. “Take a shower. El will be back
any minute. We can all get food and study. The fun begins today!”

Later that night, when Zara is sitting with Liliana, Ella
and several other girls from the dorm in the large study room reading, her text
notification makes everyone look up. Blushing, Zara reaches for her phone.

Please check your email when you have time.

Puzzled, Zara reads the text again. Gathering her books,
Zara heads back to her room to read the email alone.

Zara Faith,

Congratulations on completing your first day of college. With
the exception of a minor traffic incident, it seems you had a very successful
day. I had no doubt that you would make it through today with ease. Hearing
that you have already established friends reassures me that you are going to do
very well at MSU.

You mentioned thinking about your time at the beach house
earlier and, I must admit, I have been thinking about our time together as
well. I am glad that we had that short amount of time to get to know each other
before you started school.

Now it’s time to discover who you are and what you want. It’s
time for me to give you the space to explore your time as a college student.

Little One, I will always be here for you. If you need
anything, you just need to contact me. But no more staring out the window, I
will not be out there. Everything that you need is inside the room and inside
you.

Garrett

Zara numbly closes her laptop. Grabbing her backpack and
phone, she returns to the great room to continue her reading with the other
girls. Opening her textbook on her lap, Zara finds herself staring out the
window into the darkness of night.

“Z, you alright?” Ella asks in a hushed voice.

“Yes. Thank you for asking,” Zara says more forcefully than
intended, and then adds a smile to attempt to soften her response. Ella looks
from Zara to Liliana and back. Nodding, everyone returns to reading and a
peaceful silence falls over the great room.

Later, as Zara climbs into bed, she tries to summarize the
material that she read for biology, but the science materials are replaced by
images of her father correcting her mother’s misbehavior, her mother
disappearing before her eyes and leaving Zara to care for her newborn brother
so her father could have his slave.

Sitting up, Zara takes deep breaths and brings a relaxing
image of the beach to mind until she can hear the sound of the waves crashing
against the shore, and the smell the wet sand being baked by the sun. Slowly,
the images of her father ordering her mother to sit on the floor while everyone
else sits at the table to eat dinner fade away.

Zara finds a sense of relief by the end of her first week of
classes. The amount of homework is far less than what her mother had demanded
of her and her brother. Her current knowledge on her subjects surprises her, by
far exceeding the requirements of her courses.

Having so many new people around has transitioned from
overwhelming to welcoming. Zara works hard to get to know all the girls in the
dorm by name. Some of them are warmer than others, but all maintain a level of
social politeness that Zara appreciates.

As each day starts and ends, only one thought refuses to be suppressed.
From an early age, Zara had been taught to place her emotions into a box and
place the box in the deepest part of her inner self. Garrett could not be wrestled
into a nice neat box.

Zara’s daily thoughts of Garrett begin when she wakes up in
the morning, checking her phone in hopes of receiving a ‘good morning’ text or any
type of communication from the man she had spent so little time with, but who
had left such a lasting impression.

Meeting Ella and Liliana had been a wonderful surprise and
an enormous help. Today, when Zara opened the door to say good morning to her
best friends, Ella rolls her eyes at Zara’s maxi-dress and scandals. She looks
down at herself, to see what is wrong with her outfit.

Liliana giggles. “It’s Friday, Freshman. No classes.” Zara
shrugs her shoulders in confusion.

“You don’t dress up to bum around!” Ella admonished with
exasperation. Zara looks at both of them and notes that they are in yoga pants
and MSU tee shirts. No makeup.

“I thought we were going off campus for breakfast this
morning. Ella mentioned shopping,” Zara says puzzled.

Pushing Zara back through her door, Ella holds both of her
hands and looks into Zara’s eyes. “Breakfast and the mall. We’re gonna wait
while you change out of this stunning outfit and put on a pair of those yoga
pants. Put your hair in a pony, too. Trust me… you need this!”

Ella pulls the door closed behind her, leaving Zara
wide-eyed and mouth open. Zara stands in that spot for a long moment before
pulling out a new pair of yoga pants and a “Spartan 4 Life” tee shirt. Slipping
on her flip-flops, she pulls her hair into a neat sleek bun. Applying a couple
of spritzes of hairspray, she picks up her purse and pulls her phone out with a
hopeful glance at the screen; she sees there are no messages from Garrett, drops
it back inside and opens the door.

Ella snaps a picture of her, “I am going to print this out
and post it on your mirror as a reminder that comfy is good!”

Moments later, the three friends walk out the front door and
head for the diner for much needed coffee and breakfast. Zara smiles to herself
as she walks a step behind them.

      “What are you so smiley about this morning, Freshman?”
Ella quips, glancing back at her.

“Just thinking how lucky I am to have been assigned a room
across the hall from the two of you.” Zara feels the heat of a blush creep over
her face.

“DAMN right… you’re lucky!” Ella laughs. She wraps her arm
around Zara’s waist and pulls her forward.

The aromas of greasy food and freshly brewed coffee hits
Zara as she steps in the door of the diner. Packed with students nursing their
first “Friday morning away from home” hangovers, the girls join a table with Ella’s
classmates. Ella introduces Zara as their resident freshman and everyone at the
table laughs and says hello. Once coffee is poured and orders placed, the
conversation turns to the upcoming football game.

Quietly sipping her coffee, Zara sits listening to the friends
chat and laugh. Ella jumps up when the food is delivered and begins taking
pictures of the table. Laughter breaks out when one of the girls points her
fork, loaded with pancakes, at Ella and threatens her, “If any of these
pictures see the light of day on social media, you are a dead woman.”

After breakfast, Ella declares they are doing a photo shoot.
Neither Zara nor Liliana feel like having their pictures taken, but Ella
insists. Not even the promises of a trip to the mall sway her, but they agree
to go to the hidden garden. Zara holds her pendant while Liliana further tries
to talk Ella out of taking pictures. Ella glances at Zara and declares they are
going to the hidden garden.

Zara and Liliana explore the garden, while Ella roams around
snapping pictures of whatever moves her. Eventually, Zara finds a spot to sit
in the grass near the walking bridge and Liliana joins her.

“This is my favorite place on campus so far,” Zara says
softly. She runs her fingers through the freshly cut grass. Staring off into
space, thinking of her special place in Tennessee and how happy she is that she
has found a place that brings her a sense of peace. A soft breeze brushes her
face bringing with it many different scents of the surrounding flowers.

“A penny for your thoughts,” Liliana says. Zara looks at her
without saying anything. “Z, this is where you start to tell me where you went
just then. You disappeared in your thoughts. You do that a lot.”

Zara draws her legs to her chest and wraps her arms around
them. Resting her cheek on her knee, she is careful to keep her eyes diverted
from Liliana’s penetrating stare. “I was thinking what an amazing opportunity this
is for me.”

It comes out sounding sadder than Zara intended, but before
she has a chance to continue, Ella begins to snap pictures at them mimicking a
professional photographer giving direction.

“Z, lay back on the grass for me and look straight up. Wait…
Lil, lay down with the top of your head touching the top of Z’s.”

When she notices that Liliana has not made any movement in
the direction requested, she sighs and says, “Seriously, Lil the faster you
give in, the faster we can wrap this up and move on to the next adventure of
the day.”

Crawling on hands and knees into position, Liliana lays down
with the top of her head resting against the top of Zara’s head. “Our freshman
is ready to experience all that MSU has to offer.”

Ella stands directly over the top of them and begins
snapping away. “Okay, I think I got what I need there. You both can sit up now.
What’s this about Z experiencing college life to its fullest?”

Zara sits up and takes a deep breath, “Coming to college is
a big opportunity for me and I need to take advantage of everything it has to
offer.”

“You are clutching that pendant awfully hard, Freshman. Ready
to tell us about that yet?” Ella queries in a soft voice.

Zara shakes her head no, feeling tears begin to collect in
her eyes while she stares down at the grass. What could she tell them? Missing
Garrett was confusing and scary. The idea of explaining all the facets of the
relationship is overwhelming.

Standing up and brushing herself off, Liliana pats Zara on
the shoulder. “Hey, when you are ready, we are both here to listen. Until then,
we’ll help you experience State. That journey begins tonight… FOOTBALL! We should
go get you a ticket for the game tonight.”

“I have season tickets,” Zara quietly replies, then
brightens at the possibility of seeing Garrett in a few hours.

Ensconced back in the student section and dressed in another
new football tee shirt, Zara pays little attention to the game. For the fourth
game in a row, Zara finds herself scanning the faces around her for a glimpse
of the man who has captured her thoughts. Her eyes stop their progress when
they fall upon Christine staring back at her. Blushing, she slowly draws her
eyes away and continues her wayward search.When the scoreboards flash 70,401 in
attendance, Zara knows spotting him in this week’s crowd is again impossible.

“GO GREEN! GO WHITE!” Zara chants along with the crowd.

“Freshman, we are ‘GO GREEN!’ this time,” Ella reminds over
the continuing back and forth cheer.

A timeout is called and the crowd settles back into their
seats. Zara pulls out her phone to text Garrett but when Ella notices the phone
in her hand, she offers to take her picture. Holding her phone out to Ella, she
spins Liliana for a cheek-to-cheek shot. Ella hands the phone back and returns
to cheering with the crowd as the quarterback makes a successful pass for
thirty yards.

Zara looks at the screen, admiring the picture Ella has
taken.

“You should send it to him. You aren’t going to find him in
the stands. Too many people. Text him.” Zara stares at Ella frozen. “Come on,
Freshman. You know you want to.”

Zara pulls up the text and attaches the picture, then adds a
message.

Because we have not seen each other in a few weeks.

Feeling the vibration of an alert, Zara sees the message is
from Garrett and does a little happy dance.

Bring your friends over to The Club entrance.

Puzzled, Zara asks, “What is The Club?

Liliana squeals and shrieks reading the text pushing Zara
and Ella back down the aisle before she has an opportunity to explain their
hasty departure.

      Liliana leans in and says, “The Club is an exclusive
viewing area where people who have way too much money watch the game.”

Passing a guy from her Art History class, Zara says, “Hello,
Dan.”

“Hi! Likin’ the game?” he asks as she pushes past.

“Absolutely! I am still confused about what is going on, but
it is fun,” Zara replies. Liliana clears her throat.

“Hey, my frat is having a party tonight. You and your girls should
come. It will be fun. Very casual. It’s the Theta House. Any time after 9pm.”

“Thanks. We will try to make it. We gotta run,” Ella says,
chuckling. She pulls Zara in the direction away from the moment of awkwardness.

“I just… I…”

“It’s fine, Zara. Some guys have that effect on us girls. It
was just super fun seeing it happen. Come on. The Club awaits us.” Liliana is still
giggling as she rushes them around the stadium to the exit closest to The Club.

“Text him! Tell him we are here. Tell him.” Liliana hops up
and down in place. Having never seen her so animated about anything, Zara laughs,
and quickly texts Garrett that they are outside the door of The Club.

The security guard opens the door and asks for ‘Zara Faith.’
Liliana pushes her forward into the man’s arms. “Hi, I am Zara. These are friends
of mine, Liliana and Ella.”

Gesturing them inside, the guard guides them to the
elevator. The door opens immediately when the button is pushed. Liliana steps
inside and happy dances again pointing at the button with a Spartan helmet and
the words THE CLUB next to it.

“El… if you don’t get your camera out and take pictures of the
first picture-worthy event that we have had this year, I am going to kick your
ass.”

Without further encouragement, Ella begins snapping picture
after picture. The twenty second trip in the elevator yields at least thirty
pictures.

When the doors open, Zara finds Garrett is standing across from
the opening leaning against the wall. She steps out of the elevator as Garrett
steps to her. She wraps her arms around his neck and feels his arms find their
way around her waist. She leans in, whispering in his ear, “I have missed you.”

Hearing the clearing of a throat, Zara releases Garrett and
steps back. Blushing, she looks down to gather herself. Garrett takes her hand
and introduces himself to Liliana and Ella then leads them away from the
elevator as he continues.

“I’m very happy to meet you both. Zara speaks about you
every time we talk. I owe you an apology for the last time we interacted. I was
upset with Zara for not having her phone and I allowed my concern for her
safety to overrule my manners. Please accept my apology, but know that Zara’s
safety will always be my first concern.”

Liliana smiles broadly at Garrett and Ella steps closer to
extend her hand to him. He shakes it and smiles back. “So, shall we head inside?”

“Hell yeah!” Liliana squeals.

Garrett places his hand in the small of Zara’s back and
guides her inside, led by Liliana’s and Ella’s oo and ah at the surroundings.

The Club is very different than the student section where
they had watched all the previous games. The carpet is so plush it feels like
Zara is wearing sneakers rather than her flat-soled sandals. Sliding glass
doors face the football field and open out to a sitting area with comfortable
seats, affording its patrons the option of watching the game from the comfort
of inside or enjoying it in the elements with all the other fans.

Opposite the wall of glass are tables upon tables of food,
with waiters hovering by in tuxedo shirts and black pants. Two bars ensure fans
will not have to travel far for a refill on their cocktail of choice.

Garrett works Zara and her friends through the crowd to a
round table occupied by several people. Two guys stand up as they reach the
table, while a woman between them remains seated.

“Zara, this is Branden Jacobs, Kegan, and Branden’s sister,
Vivian. Everyone… this is my Zara Faith.” As Garrett introduces Zara, she feels
his hand sliding up and down her back and she leans into him letting him also
introduce her friends.

“Forgive me, ladies. This is Ella and Liliana. They are Zara’s
hall mates. They have been kind enough to show Zara the ropes on campus. Kegan,
Liliana is an engineering major in her third year. And, if am not mistaken,
Ella, you are in your third year and still deciding your major. These are two
of my college friends, Branden and Kegan, as well as Vivian, who also graduated
from State.”

Turning to the girls directly, he asks, “Have you eaten? There
is plenty of food. The second half is just starting so we can take your plates
outside if you wish.”

Zara gazes up from her spot in his arms with her back against
his chest. Hearing the familiar sound of Ella’s camera clicking, Zara knows she
is the object of the picture and smiles into the camera. Oblivious, Garrett
leans down to whisper in her ear.

“I’m glad you texted me. It hasn’t been easy knowing you’re
so close sitting in the student section. Plus, I would have missed seeing you
in your very cute football shirt and very short shorts.”

Giggling, Zara tilts her head further to the side to give
Garrett access to her neck. To her delight, he plants a lingering kiss just
below her ear.

Please do not stop ever.

Branden walks around the table and speaks to Zara’s friends
loud enough so Garrett and Zara cannot miss a word. “Since Garrett is completely
wrapped up with the dear Zara, would you mind if I escort you to the buffet?”

When Zara pulls away in deep embarrassment, Garrett thanks
Branden and slaps him on the back. All five of them head to the buffet, Zara
and Garrett following the rest. His hand finds her favorite spot for it at the
small of her back.

The buffet has a lot of choices. Liliana is in seventh
heaven. Ella wanders to take pictures.

“Zara, get a plate. You’ve hardly eaten anything today,” Liliana
states as she fixes her plate. Hearing this, Garrett turns Zara around and
lifts her chin. Eyes locked on each other, she feels as if he is trying to
measure what she has ingested through her eyes.

“Zara Faith. Are you not eating enough? Don’t like the food
at the dorms?”

Unable to drop her eyes with his hand on her chin, she
slowly lifts her eyes from his lips back up to his eyes where she is met with an
‘I know what you are thinking’ smirk.

All of her attempts to stop from blushing fail. “I eat. I
eat a lot.”

Liliana gives a ‘
humph’
from the end of the table. Drawing
his eyebrow up, Garrett waits for Zara to finish. “I’ll get a plate.”

“Perfect.” He reaches for two plates and hands one to Zara. “What
do you think the budding photographer would like?”

As Zara puts a little bit of this and a little bit of that
on her plate, Garrett fills a plate for Ella. Back at the table, Zara sits
quietly and listens as Garrett and his friends talk about the game and other
teams’ successes and failures.

“So Zara, it’s great to finally meet you. How do you like
MSU? How’s your dorm?” Vivian asks across from Zara with a warm smile on her
face.

She is absolutely lovely.

Smiling, Zara nods. “I love my room. It is so warm and cozy.
I have been to a few other rooms and they have an institutional feeling. The
best part about my room is the space saving techniques. I cannot begin to
explain them but it’s as if someone made a list of everything that I would ever
need and created a space for each item.

“There is this tall corner cabinet that is amazing. It has
different sized shelves and they adjust. It is the coolest thing ever. Oh…
wait. I have a picture of it on my phone. I was trying to explain it to someone
in class and ended up just taking a picture. They have been trying to locate it
online…”

Zara opens the picture section on her phone and starts to
flip back past the ones Ella had taken in the stands.

“May I see your phone please?” Garrett asks. Looking up,
Zara sees his hand extended and waiting. She slowly hands it to him.

“Viv knows what the cabinet looks like. She picked out
everything for the room. I thought I told you that already. She also picked out
the clothes at all the houses,” he says as if it is common knowledge that she
has clothes in other locations.

“I… I didn’t realize. I am sorry. I should not have gone on
so.” Abashed, she looks down at her plate feeling scolded by Garrett.

Laughing in a way that draws attention from the people
around them, Vivian stands up from her chair and walks around the table to
Zara. She gives her a big hug from behind. “Never apologize for going on about
my work. These two don’t value my efforts very much so it is great to hear some
positive feedback. Are those shorts a pair I purchased?”

Walking up behind them, Ella answers for Zara. “Nope, I made
Zara get those when I dragged her out shopping with me a couple days ago. It
was my way of not feeling guilty for purchasing the amount that I did. God
bless student credit cards.”

Picking up a fork and taking a melon off Zara’s plate, Ella has
not noticed that she has the attention of everyone at the table except Garrett
who is looking through Zara’s phone. “These are really good pictures of you. Ella…
did you take all these pictures? You have an amazing smile when you don’t think
anyone is looking.”

Shaking her head in response and continuing to pick off Zara’s
plate, she gives a happy squeal when Zara slides a full plate in front of her. “Those
aren’t even the good ones,” she explains. “Zara is a great subject. She has
great bone structure and is a natural. She just allows me to do what I am going
to do without becoming rigid in front of the camera like… where is Lil?”

“She took her plate out to watch the game with Kegan,” Zara
replies accepting her phone back from Garrett. Turning to Vivian, she asks, “Where
is the restroom located?”

Vivian gestures for Zara to follow her and as they leave the
hearing range of the others, leans in to say, “So, you and Garrett. I’m glad
you didn’t go through with the whole collaring thing. That says a lot about you.”

Zara loses a step hearing a reference to her ties to the Community
and rushes into a stall, her heart racing, and her palms sweaty. Shaken anyone
here knows about their life within the Community, Zara has no idea how to
respond.

Finishing up, Zara takes a deep breath and squares her
shoulders then opens the door to the stall where she is met with Vivian
standing at the sinks.

Careful to avoid eye contact, Zara washes her hands and
dries them. She asks Vivian a question about the color on the walls of her dorm
room and Vivian gracefully acknowledges the redirection and allows the subject
change.

Rejoining Garrett, he asks if Zara and her friends want to
go out after the game. Branden has invited them over to his place.

Before Zara can think of how to answer the request, Ella
drops a bomb she had forgotten existed. “Zara, remember Dan invited you to his
frat party tonight? The Theta House… wasn’t it?”

“Of course. Well, I hope you have fun at the party. Perhaps
another time,” Garrett’s voice remains as even as if he is ordering off a menu.
There is no indication that he has any opinion of Zara going to a party to meet
another man.

Zara’s shoulders slip a bit. The recording that Zara had
packed away comes to the surface on maximum volume.

Garrett, I need to make a call. I will be right back. Would she
be there tonight?

“Z… Zara! Say goodbye. We need GO!” Ella insists.

Zara draws her eyes up from her lap to find Ella’s warm
protective smile. Before she can say a word, Ella takes her hand and squeezes
it. Zara returns the squeezes. Liliana smiles warmly and gives Zara’s shoulder
a quick pat.

“Garrett, it was a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for
having us up here. It is amazing.” Liliana continues, “Ella is not feeling well
so we are going to head back to the dorm.”

“Ella, can we get you anything here? Club soda? Vernors?” Garrett
inquires.