Beginning with Forever (46 page)

I glance at my watch again and
then make a call to my mother’s room. “Mother, are you ready to go?  The limo will be downstairs in half an hour. I’ll walk you down with me.”

“Okay
, sweetheart, I’ll be ready by the time you arrive at my room.” Her tone is full of excitement and energy.

I give my mother a few extra minutes before walking to her room. She’s also notorious for running late. It’s a joke in our family that I’m more Bradley than Hudson, my mother’s maiden name, because they’re always punctual. When I arrive
at her door, she lets me in and runs back to her bedroom. “Give me two more minutes, and I’ll be ready.” I shake my head and roll my eyes with a smirk. A few minutes later, she comes out stylishly dressed in a black pants suit. I’m positive she picked it up earlier today with Nikki. “So what do you think, honey?” She seeks for my fashion opinion.

“Nik
has exquisite tastes. You can’t go wrong with one of her choices.” She narrows her eyes at me, wondering how I knew she went shopping with Nikki. “I had lunch with her before your shopping date,” I answer her question before giving her the opportunity to ask it.

She loop
s her arm around mine and rushes me, “Let’s go before we’re unfashionably late for a fashion show.” I can’t help, but roll my eyes at her again. As we descend, mother checks my reflection in the elevator mirror and notices my neck is missing a tie. “Carson, honey, did you forget your tie?” I shake my head and offer her no explanation. It’s exhilarating to rebel against Bianca and now my mother. “I’m sure Bianca will have an extra tie for you,” she assures me.

“I don’t need one, especially from Bianca.” It’s now her turn to roll her eyes at me after my snide remark.

We finally arrive at the Museum of Modern Art. This place is packed full of energy and people. The music is booming loud and synched with blinding laser lights, flashing in all directions. It’s quite a spectacular show, just like Bianca said it would be. My mother is smiling from ear to ear, enjoying all the glamour and excitement. We’re both given VIP tags and escorted backstage to meet Bianca and her models in person. Personally, I wouldn’t mind skipping this entire preliminary step, but my mother loves every aching minute of it. I feel obligated to cater to her whim for the evening.

Bianca come
s running towards my mother and gives her pretentious air kisses to each of her cheek. She looks lewdly over to me. “I’m delighted you’re here, Carson.” Unfortunately for me, she releases my mother and draws me in for an unexpected real kiss. I back away at once and wipe her rouge color off my lips with the back of my hand. My mother rolls her eyes at me, disgusted by my overdramatic reaction. “Carson, you’re not wearing one of my ties tonight,” Bianca observantly points out.

“I like the freedom of no
t wearing one outside of work. If you’ll excuse me, I want to find my seat. Mother, I’ll meet you out there.” I begin to walk away, but Bianca grabs my wrist to detain me.

“I’
d like for you to meet some of our new models.” She circles her arm around mine and my jaws automatically clench down tightly with annoyance. “This is Isabella Marie Ellis,” she introduces the first female model. For some peculiar reason, she looks familiar to me, but I can’t seem to pinpoint how I know her pretty face. She’s tall and slender with dark brown hair and eyes and a strikingly beautiful dimpled smile. She puts her hand out, and I shake it briefly, still baffled. I make every effort to avoid staring rudely at her as I try to figure out the connection.

“I’ve heard a lot about you from Li
ly.” She grabs my attention with Lillian’s name. That’s it. She’s one of Lil’s best friends from the picture on her desk. She’s the taller one standing on Lily’s left side. Damn, I’m shit out of luck. It’s a given that she’ll report back to Lily about seeing me at Bianca’s show before I’ll even have a chance to explain anything to Lil.

I pretend not to be affected by our
run-in. “Welcome to New York, Isabella,” I pull myself together to speak to her casually. “I hope that everything you’ve heard about me is all good.” She nods her head bashfully. Bianca tugs my arm to lead me to the next model and interrupts my small chat with Isabella. “Isabella, I’m sorry to cut this short,” I tell her and reluctantly follow Bianca. I feel obligated to stay and explain to Isabella the circumstances of why I’m here with my ex-fiancée.

“Isabel
la confided in me about Lillian’s relationship with a man name Richard…I think that’s his name,” Bianca whispers as we approach another female model.

“What did you say?
Why would that even come up in conversation? Isn’t she a random model your agency recruited?” I attack her immediately. Why is she fucking with me? My fists clench tightly as my anger escalates. I can barely see straight through my glaring eyes.

“
Calm down, Carson, and let me explain. We were just talking about her background, shooting the shit, and she told me she’s from Fort Wayne, Indiana.”

“You don’t normally shoot the sh
it with any of your employees,” I skeptically call her out.

“Will you let me finish?
I didn’t know how small the towns are there, so I took a shot and asked her if she knew a girl name Lillian Ly. She told me that Lillian is one of her best friends and that she’s seeing this really hot looking soon-to-be doctor. She also mentioned you, Carson. She said that Lil is also seeing this older man with more money than he knows what to do with, and he’s following her around like a puppy. Lillian can’t decide who she wants to be with, but she’s leaning more towards Richard.” I give her a hateful glare, the kind you save for that one person you hate most in your life. “Don’t be mad at me, Carson. I might be the victim here, not Lillian. Have you ever thought of that?” She turns to me and displays a pitiful look. “Go back to Isabella and simply ask her if it’s true about Lillian and Richard,” she challenges me with her arms folded across her chest.

I
heatedly march back to Isabella, take her by the elbow and stare directly into her dark brown eyes. “Is it true about Richard? Are they together?” She nods her head. The color in my face washes away as I feel my heart stop beating. She has a perplexed expression on her face from my response. I drop her elbow and walk away. My haunting nightmare has come true. If Lily wants Richard and not me, then what is she doing with me? Why is she fucking with my emotions? Is this why she’s been avoiding me and spending more time with Richard?

Right at
my lowest point, Bianca adds more insult to my open wound. She runs after me and hands me an envelope full of pictures of Richard and Lillian in bed. Each picture I flip through leaves another painful lesion on my battered emotion. I’ve been taken for an idiot by a woman I love with every fiber in my body. I’ve opened myself up to her and no one else. How could she be this cruel to me and why?

“Carson, I love you.
I wanted to make sure that she’s true to you before I give you up. As shameful as it may sound, I hired an investigator to follow her around. He took these pictures for me several weeks ago, and I’m sorry to be the one to break this awful news to you.”

I have nothing to say to her.
I jerk my arm from her grip and stomp away, depleted of any emotions. I need something to numb my suffering. I take an empty seat at the bar and demand a bottle of his most expensive vodka and an extra-large shot glass from the bartender. “Have another bottle ready. This one won’t take me long,” I snap at him, pissed at the world and at myself for allowing a woman to make me vulnerable again. The first couple of shots run down smoothly, but they’re still not taking the edge off yet, so I continue to slam them, one after another. Hell yeah, I’m finally feeling less rigid, maybe even woozy after the ninth shot. Why bother with the shot glasses? I grab the bottle by the neck instead and chug it like water. I want the liquor to erase my pain as it glides down my throat.

Bianca
reappears out of nowhere and forces the bottle out of my grip. She hands the almost empty bottle to the bartender for safekeeping. “Carson, what the hell are you doing? Are you out of your fucking mind? You’re wasted!” she yells at me and then grabs my arm and helps support me off the bar stool. I attempt to push her away, but she’s persistent.

“I don’t need your help Bibi
,” I slur my words. “Leave me the hell alone.”

“Come with me Carson.
I’ll have my driver take you back to my room. You can sleep this off over there. I’ll check on you after my show.” She tries to support my intoxicated body to get me to go with her. The room is spinning all around me. My feet aren’t steady enough to hold me up. I stumble back and forth.

“Mr. Bra
dley, let me give you a hand,” a familiar male voice comes to my rescue. It’s Hayden. What is he doing here? He takes my arm from Bianca and wraps it around his shoulders and neck to support me. She’s not happy with his intrusion, but I’m grateful for it. There’s no telling what would happen if Bianca has her way with me in my defenseless condition.

“Hayden, good to see you, man
,” I spit out my words.

“Where are you staying
, Carson?” he asks. I give him a blank stare. “Maybe it might be wiser for you to crash in my room tonight.” He helps me into a cab, and we drive off together. I don’t remember anything after that.

C
arson and I can’t seem to sync our calls. We haven’t been able to get a hold of each other all day except for the steamy little text he sent me earlier. I’m getting terribly antsy keeping this baby news from him. This info is too personal to share via texting or voicemail, so I haven’t left him either one. “No luck with getting a hold of baby’s father?” Amelia asks me. I shake my head with frustration. “He’s persistent. He won’t give up until he gets a hold of you tonight,” she reassures me.

My phone chimes,
alerting me of a text message. Disappointingly, it’s not Carson. It’s Belle. She’s been updating me with pictures and texts, hour by hour since I can’t be there with her.

J
ust ran into your HOT boyfriend, Carson, backstage! Here’s a picture of him for yo
u


I’m sure it’s unintentional
, but she snapped a picture of Carson at a distance with Bianca’s arms looped around his. They look like they’re talking about something serious. My blood boils over the top, looking at his picture. This is the prior obligation he couldn’t break. This is why he hasn’t answered my calls and to think I was worried about something bad happening to him. He’s perfectly fine in his expensive suit and a hot ex-fiancée by his side. This picture is all I need to confirm my doubt about his shaky commitment. He’s not ready to be a father to any baby, especially mine. There’s no reason to tell him now. I reply to her text.

H
ope you’re having a great time! Good luck with the show!!!! <3 Lil

Damn the
se overflowing tears. I show Amelia the picture on my phone and heatedly tell her, “There’s no way in hell, I’ll ever tell him about my baby now. He seems to have a history of commitment issues. I rather not have my baby exposed to this.” For the first time ever, I pull the dividing curtain down the center of our room. I collapse on my bed and bury my heart deep into the mattress. Amelia understands my need to be alone and lets me be. I sob until there’s nothing left inside of me to offer. I don’t understand how he can promise me all those things and break my heart so easily? We’ve only been apart for one week, and he already has a backup trophy girl for his social commitments. She’s not just any ordinary girl either; she’s his ex-fiancée. My mother was right about him. I should’ve heeded to her warning, but it’s too late for regrets now.

I’m determined to finish this year he
re and have my baby back home. I’ll reapply at a medical school closer to home and complete everything there. It’ll take me longer, but it’ll all work out one way or another. It has to. My mother sacrificed for me, and I’ll do the same for my baby. I just can’t cry over him ever again. I have to block him out of my heart, so he’ll never get another chance to break it again. I wipe the remaining tears away and quickly jump out of bed. My contempt for him compels me to remove his picture off my desk and then I slowly slide his ring off my middle finger. I read the inscription on the inside of the ring,
CB Forever True LL
.
I guess forever for him is a little over a month. I ransack my closet and pull out every item that he’s ever gifted me and pile them all on the floor. I want nothing to remind me of him. Somehow my eyes shed more tears. How is that even possible? I didn’t think I had any left. I drop my butt down to the floor, ball myself up tightly and then release the remaining burning tears. I must’ve saved the best for last because it feels like my heart came out in tiny pieces as I cried to myself.

G
od, where am I and why is this room still spinning? I squeeze my head with both hands to contain my throbbing headache. I can’t recall much of what happened last night besides the fact that Lillian trampled all over my heart. I sit up and find myself on a brown upholstered sofa instead of a leather one. This isn’t my hotel room. “Carson, how are you feeling, man?” It’s Hayden’s voice again. “Do you want some coffee?” he considerately offers me. I nod my head as my eyes squint against the intense sunlight shining through the massive glass windows. I hear a soft feminine voice whispering to him in the background. She walks around and hands me a white porcelain coffee mug. It’s Isabella in a plush white robe. I’m even more confused now. Why is she here in this room with Hayden and me?