Beloved Monster (17 page)

Reed shot her an annoyed look, and then his face settled into indifference. “I doubt the vicar could cast any light on your identity.”

The atmosphere between the two men turned chilly and foreboding. Luke, who had risen from his chair, took a step toward Reed. Reed’s eyes narrowed in irritation.

“So what of Luke’s future?” she asked a little too brightly.

Both men turned to face her. “Ah. Yes. That is the conundrum. What to do?” Reed began to pace about again, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. Glenna exhaled. Her question distracted Reed at least. Luke, however, still appeared cold and distrustful.

Luke threw the book on the table and crossed his arms. “It is my life such as it is, and ultimately my decision. When I have the answers I want, I will depart. It is in my best interest to find a remote corner of the country to hide myself away. The northern tip of Scotland. The southern part of Cornwall. Or perhaps I will leave England and head to the wilds of Canada or to far reaches of the Pacific Ocean in New South Wales.”

The thought of Luke leaving froze Glenna’s insides and a terrible feeling of loss covered her. She did not want him to disappear from her life. The realization of it shocked her right to her bones. In a short period of time, she’d grown to care for him. Even love.
Oh, no, I
am
in love with him.
Full-bore, tumbled in love. She wobbled, reaching out for the side of the table to steady herself. Luke rushed to her side, as did Reed.

“What is it? What is the matter?” Luke asked, his voice full of gentle concern. At least he paid attention to her now.

“I say, Cousin. You’re as pale as chalk,” Reed interjected.

Luke helped her to sit in the chair. Hot tears clustered at the back of her eyes, and through sheer determination, she made sure she did not shed them.

“I am all right. Do not fuss,” she managed to say. Exhaling, she clasped Luke’s right hand. “If you leave, how will you live? Think about it. You will need an identity and a logical explanation for your appearance. This will take planning and money. Allow us to make these plans for you. We owe you that much. Stay until we can work this out.”

“See…see here, Glenna…” Reed sputtered.

“No, Reed. We are responsible. You have enough money that surely you can part with some to give Luke a new start where ever he wishes.” Though it hurt to speak the words, deep down she knew they could not keep him here infinitely as much as she may want it. Danger lay perilously close. As much as she selfishly wished to keep him here with her always, he was too well-known as Ravenswood. The viscount’s reputation was recognized far and wide. The sad fact remained: He must leave.

“Well, since you put it like that, then I shall,” Reed said. “I have given this a good deal of thought this week, and I fashioned these for you, Luke.” Reed pulled out a drawer on the exam table and handed Luke a pair of spectacles. “Brown-tinted glass for the lenses. They will hide your eyes and give you the excuse for your manifestation. You can claim to possess a sensitivity to light.”

Luke stepped away from her and put them on. Glenna frowned. “His eyes are quite extraordinary. Why hide them?”

“Because, dear cousin, they are not normal. If Luke wishes to move about in the world he must have logical, even medical and systematic explanations, for his appearance that will appease the masses, judgmental as they are. Tell them, Luke, you suffer from Photophobia Vitium, a combination of light sensitivity and a rare skin pigmentation disorder. The name is a fabrication, but both conditions do exist and would offer enough of an explanation to keep inquiring minds mollified. The scars… You can fashion your own story on those.”

Glenna jumped out of the chair and grabbed Reed’s arm in excitement. “Why, that is perfect. Cousin, you are brilliant!”

Reed puffed out his chest with pride. “I am, rather. Thank you.”

For the first time, Glenna allowed hope to spring inside her. Luke could live as normal a life as possible with the proper planning. Perhaps not here near Charlwood obviously, but a place close enough for her to visit. Her imagination began to run wild. Maybe they could build a life together at some point. As usual, she was getting ahead of herself. One thing at a time. “What do you think, Luke?”

* * * *

What
did
he think? Regardless of the scientific and rather pat justification for his appearance, he would still be considered a freak. That much he understood. But the more he reflected on it, the more the scheme could possibly work. The only way to be sure would be to test the theory. It would be Sunday in a couple days. When the servants attended services, he could easily slip out and walk toward the village and try out the explanation. In the boxes of clothes in the cellar, he noticed a black wool scarf he could wear about his head to hide the metal plate, and with the glasses… Well, he would keep this little experiment to himself. Better not to involve the cousins. Any trust he felt toward them lessened with each passing day and with good reason.

“The explanation is a rational one. I am not too proud to refuse an offer of capital. I will need it for travel and locating a place to stay. In the meantime, Glenna, if you would be so kind, I have something of a personal nature to discuss with Reed.” He gave her a reassuring half smile, and she turned and exited the laboratory.

Luke removed the spectacles and slipped them into the pocket of his waistcoat. “I wish to discuss--sex.”

Reed started, his brows furrowed in confusion. Then his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Why? What is sex to you?”

“Exactly. I have all the requisite male parts. They did not rot off. They function. I’ve experienced arousal. I am aware of what to do and how to do it. I have brought myself sexual release and more than once. To speak in terms you understand, these facts are irrefutable leading to a decided conclusion. It goes without saying I could have sex.” What would be Reed’s reaction if he disclosed what he and Glenna intimately shared during the past several nights? Or of the erotic dream? He could well imagine.

Reed’s lips curled into a snarl, and he stalked toward Luke until they stood toe-to-toe, though Reed was more than a few inches shorter. “I have already told you in no uncertain terms to stay away from Glenna. Do. Not. Touch. Her. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, and the way you gaze longingly at her in return. As I said, she is infatuated and has romanticized you for some deluded reason. Do not take advantage of her kind nature and passionate heart or you will answer to me.”

“Again with the threats? Ah. I think at last I understand why you act in such a way. You have a
tendre
for your cousin. It is not unheard of. The Queen married her first cousin if I recall it….”

Reed grabbed a handful of Luke’s shirt and spat, “How dare you? She is a dear girl that I love as a sister. Do not make it sordid.”

“Unhand me or I will not be responsible for my actions.” He sounded rather menacing, but didn’t care. Reed released him and stepped back. “For all your brave talk and scientific explanations, deep down, in here”--he poked Reed in the chest--“you think me inhuman. Unworthy of your cousin’s affections. Or any woman’s attention. The thought of me engaging in physical relations with someone turns your bile. Admit it.”

Reed rubbed his forehead, confusion showing clearly on his face. “I do not know what to think. For all intents and purposes, you are alive. Glenna is convinced you have a soul, separate from what you had before in your previous life. Perhaps she has the right of it. If so, then you
are
human in every respect. I do not think it wise you form an attachment with her. What kind of life can you give her forever hiding in shadow?” He met Luke’s gaze. “Let us face facts; we both know you will be. You will not be accepted regardless of any explanations we come up with. Victorian society is harsh, condemnatory, and ultimately unforgiving.” Reed shook his head. “Much like I acted a few moments ago. And the other night. I sincerely apologize. But surely you see the difficulties?”

A life with Glenna? He had not considered the possibility seriously for the reason it seemed impossible and beyond his reach. Well, he did consider it briefly, but dismissed it for a mad plan. Yes, there would be multiple complexities to the situation as Reed described. There was no doubt of his desire for her, but it resonated with much more than the physical, though he had tried to deny it this past week with each visit to her room. If he went to her tonight, he would not stop at touching and kissing. He’d make love to her all night long. Regardless of the lies, he could not stay away from her. But perhaps for both their sakes he should endeavor to try.

“You are jumping to conclusions. Baseless ones. What about procreation?” Again, he shocked Reed as his mouth hung open in disbelief. “It stands to reason, since I am human according to you, or a type of one. My parts work. Will I father children?”

“Good God, I had not even considered it. We would have to run tests on your sperm.” Reed rubbed his forehead again, faster as if in agitation. “I assumed…”

“That I would not possess a sex drive? That I would be some androgynous, gelded creature? I assure you that is
not
the case.” Luke folded his arms. “In fact, my libido seems to run at a breakneck pace, which leads me to believe my stamina would be beyond human endurance. Do not worry, I am not about to terrorize the countryside and ravish every woman in my path. I do possess a modicum of control over my urges.”

Reed stared at him incredulously.

“It seems, Professor Parker, you have created a monster.”

Luke did not come to her room last night, and the fact he purposely stayed away hurt more than it should. Later in the afternoon, Glenna brought him a tray of food and found him sitting on the sofa reading with Noir curled in his lap. Apparently she had been replaced in Luke’s affections by a scruffy alley cat. While grunting his thanks, he returned his attention to reading. She fled the cellar, her heart squeezing in pain.

Pacing her room, she glanced at the mantel clock. Nearing midnight, and she knew the stubborn man would not come again tonight.
Blast him.
In agitation, she snatched her robe off the bed and slipped it on, fetched the cellar key from the bureau and placed, it into her pocket. Good thing Reed had more than one copy. how mortifying it would be to go to his room to beg for it.

As quietly as possible, Glenna opened her bedroom door and peered down the hall. No light illuminated from Reed’s room. Hopefully he’d fallen asleep already. Even in the complete darkness, she was able to make her way to the kitchen where she found a candle in a holder and lit the wick.
Better.
After carefully descending the cellar stairs, she slipped the key into the lock and tip-toed across the entrance.

Even though a roaring fire crackled in the hearth, Luke was not in the study. Holding the candle high, she made her way to the laboratory. Crossing the threshold, she found Luke standing at the opposite wall. He had his back to her and was shirtless. Her mouth went dry as she watched with awe while he washed his face in the basin in front of him, every muscle rolling enticingly under his skin. His trousers hung below his waist, showing his carved hipbones to advantage. Glenna’s heart fluttered at the enticing sight. There was no denying he was rather well put together. Broad shoulders and a muscular back tapered to a slim waist. His buttocks were high and firm, his legs long and strong.

“Is there something you wanted, Glenna?”

Since he did not turn around, how did he know she entered the room?
Ah, of course.
He’d seen her reflection in the mirror. Without waiting for her reply, he lathered up his face and used the razor she had brought from the vicar’s. Noir sat on the table curled up next to the basin, sleeping soundly. The cat seemed never to be far from Luke. Again, the close connection caused a spark of jealousy to skitter through her.

“Not going to smash that mirror as you did the others?” she called out. Then she frowned. Her petulance was showing.

Luke halted in his shaving and looked at her through the mirror. “No, I am not. At your suggestion I have finally accepted the state of my appearance. It is what it is.” He scraped the blade partway down his left cheek, avoiding the scars, then rinsed it in the water. His voice as cool and distant as it had been yesterday. Disturbingly, he sounded too much like Ravenswood and it stung.

“You were not going to come to me tonight, either.” Let him hear the hurt. And she was hurt, blast him.

“No. I was not. I am weary of all the lies, Glenna.” He paused, and his voice lowered. “It is killing what I feel for you.” He continued with his shaving, his words searing her heart. Tears gathered on her lashes, but she blinked them back.

“I have not prevaricated in what matters, Luke.”

His lip curled as he rinsed off the remaining soap lather. As he turned to face her, he reached for the towel and wiped his chin. “What matters to me right now is to find out who I was. Do you deny you are purposely holding back important information regarding my former identity?”

Here it was.
Glenna blew out the candle on placed it on the desk. “I do not deny it.”

Luke threw the towel across the room and stalked toward her like a jungle cat with its prey in clear sight. He clasped her arms tight, but not enough to hurt her. The alluring scent of sandalwood shaving soap and virile male filled her nostrils. “Tell. Me.” He whispered fiercely.

“No.”

He roared with frustration and backed up a few steps. “Why in hell not?”

“There are very good reasons, and it is something all three of us should discuss at length.” Glenna was determined to stand her ground. On the whole, he did not frighten her, but she must maintain control of this conversation.

Luke took two steps toward the door. “Then I will drag your mad scientist cousin down here and beat him until he confesses….”

“No!” she cried, grabbing his arm. So much for trying to control the situation. “Be sensible. We cannot cause such a disturbance. The servants will hear. Wait until tomorrow, please. Luke, if you have any feelings left at all for me, I beg you to wait. Most of what we told you is the truth. The rest was kept from you to protect you. I swear it.”