Beneath It All (Beneath #1) (9 page)

Send.

Within minutes, they all responded with huge YES answers. In true Bobbie Jo fashion, Bobbie Jo offered to set everything up and would let us all know the details. With her running the show, I knew this would be the perfect day.

Two hours later, I received a text:

Bobbie Jo:
Spa day is scheduled for tomorrow! Cancel your day or call in sick because you’re meeting Victoria and me at the PreserveSpa at eleven tomorrow morning. I’ve got us all scheduled for facials, manis/pedis, and massages, followed by hair and makeup. A late champagne lunch will be brought in and served in a private room for us. Bring your hottest cocktail dress and sexiest heels, as we will be enjoying a dinner and cocktails out before calling it a night. Time for us to all put on our bitch bras and ass-kicking shoes in support of Victoria as she prepares to kick cancer’s ass!

Jen:
OH, HELL YES!!!

Dana:
Wouldn’t miss it for the world . . . well . . . maybe for David Gandy. Just kidding . . . not really ;-)

Score! This was just what I needed!

I was getting out of the bathtub late Monday afternoon to try and unwind when I heard a knock on bathroom door. I grabbed my towel as Noah slipped into the room. “Surprise! I left the office early and picked up your favorite Italian take-out for dinner. I just need to heat it up in the oven when we are ready,” he said with a sly grin as he pulled his tie loose. “I didn’t expect to find you climbing out of the bath, and I’m now confident in saying that our dinner will be served much later.”

I eyed him and couldn’t help but smile back. Even though the bruising had disappeared, I hadn’t felt very attractive or sexy with everything going on. Noah definitely could make me feel sexy, and I needed it. Over the last few weeks, my libido had gone into hiding. But the look on Noah’s face as he slid off his tie, had it making a sudden appearance once more, and I wasn’t going to ignore it! He had successfully flipped the sex switch back on.

He looped his tie around me in my towel and pulled me toward him. He placed a kiss on my forehead before he buried his nose in my hair and inhaled slowly. “You smell like a tropical drink and I want a taste,” he murmured as he pulled me tighter against him, not at all bothered by the fact that I was getting him all wet.

I let out a sigh and quickly melted in his arms forgetting everything that was going on . . . it was just Noah and me in this moment and nothing was going to stop it!

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I felt the strong muscles of his back flex underneath my hands and started to pull his dress shirt out of his pants. The warmth of his skin against my hands only heightened my longing to feel every inch of him naked against me. What started as slow and sensual quickly changed into a hurried and urgent need to be consumed by this man . . . my husband . . . Noah.

My hands desperately found the front of his shirt, and I felt the sudden urge to attack. I clutched the front of his shirt and frantically started working the buttons open and practically tore the shirt off him when they were all undone. I looked up at Noah and watched his eyes turn dark with hunger as his hands cupped the back of my head and pulled me into a hard and impassioned kiss.

The urgency of his mouth on mine was bruising, and it only fed the fire within me. When he broke away from the kiss and stood back so I could see him, he was naked and fully erect.

“I’ve missed you,” I said as my eyes traveled down his body. I couldn’t help but run my hands over every dip and plane along the way. He stood silently, watching me.

He knew that I needed this time to get lost in him, and he wasn’t about to stop me. I slowly ran my tongue down the outside of his throat and kissed along his collar bone before reaching his nipples. I lightly licked and sucked in air against one of them and felt it pucker beneath my lips. Noah inhaled sharply, and I could feel myself already throbbing between my legs. “Don’t stop, Victoria.”

I continued traveling down his body, taking extra time to admire each square inch of muscle on his abdomen before running my tongue down along the right side of his “V,” which again earned me another sudden intake of breath, followed by a deep groan. I ran my hands along his hips down to his cock and felt it twitch in anticipation as my mouth kissed its way down his happy trail.

“Fuck, Victoria,” Noah moaned as his hips jerked forward. “You’re driving me fucking insane here. I want to touch you right now, but know this is about what you want. Please, tell me you want me to touch you. Please . . .” I heard the desperation in his voice.

“I want to lick and touch you. Your body is perfection and needs to be appreciated completely,” I said as I thought to myself how mine was anything but. I closed my eyes as tears attempted to invade them. “Noah, I want to feel your perfection against me. I want to feel your perfection in me. I want to be destroyed by you.”

“Victoria.” He gripped me under my arms and lifted me up off the floor. “Open your eyes. Let me see you,” he pleaded.

Opening my eyes, I expected to see pity, but I didn’t. What I saw was indescribable. It was love, lust, compassion, fear, and anger.
What a fucked up combination this is,
I thought when I realized I had the same look on my face. We were in this together. Feeling this together. Coupled.

He nibbled at my lips as he rubbed his cock up against my tummy. His tongue dipped into my mouth as our kiss intensified. It was all of our emotions bleeding out in this moment together. It was heaven and it was hell. It was love and passion. It was anger and fear. It was what we both needed.

My hand grabbed his cock, and I enjoyed the feeling of him in my hand. I felt his velvety strength as he flexed his hips into my hand and I tightened it around him. His left hand came up and started massaging my right breast as he broke our kiss and sucked on my nipple. It quickly stiffened under his tongue and ached for more as my back arched, pushing it further into his mouth.

“Victoria, I don’t want to do this in here,” he mumbled against my breast and then blew softly on my strained nipple. I nodded my head and let go of his cock as he lifted me up in his arms and carried me into our bedroom.

I climbed up on the bed and he followed right behind me, cradling his body between my legs. With a flex of his hips, he leaned down and kissed me while he was propped up on his right elbow and continued to play with my right nipple. “Noah, please,” I said as I pushed my hips up toward him. “I need to feel you inside. I need you to make me forget everything but you and me and I need it right now.”

He heard my desperation and wrapped my legs around him as the head of his cock started teasing me. He continued his torture as he rubbed his cock up along my folds and hit my overly sensitized clit. My back arched. “Noah . . .” I begged as my body was screaming and wanting him to push into me. “I need you to fuck my thoughts away. I need you to help me release my anger and forget the last few weeks. I need—”

SLAM!

“Ah shit,” I screamed. “Again.”

SLAM! Slow draw back . . . SLAM!

“Is this what you want, Victoria? Do you want me to fuck you hard?”

SLAM!

“YES!” I screamed again as my hands grabbed at his ass, trying to push him deeper inside. He lifted my right leg and shifted sideways so that he could get a better angle.

SLAM! . . . SLAM!

“OH. MY. GOD!” I shouted as he continued his assault on my body. Like he was punishing it. Taking out his anger on it and taking my anger with it at the same time. It wasn’t romantic or passionate. It was hard and demanding. It was therapeutic in the most fucked-up way possible.

“Victoria, fuuuuuuuuck . . .” Noah slammed into me one more time and let out a roar. I could feel his warmth fill me as I pulsated around him, feeling my own release.

“Yes. Oh my god, yes,” I breathed out as my body let go. Noah continued to slowly rock back and forth inside me as I came down from my orgasm. He leaned down and trailed kisses down the right side of my neck to my breast before he slipped out of me and disappeared into the bathroom.

I laid there collecting my thoughts while Noah cleaned himself up and returned with a warm washcloth to do the same for me. Once we were both cleaned up, he climbed in bed next to me, and we quietly lay there together, sorting through our unspoken thoughts.

I mulled over what just happened in my head. It started out flirty and passionate and then quickly morphed into hot and frantic. It was quite possibly one of the most intense moments we had ever shared together in bed.

I was pleased with myself and replayed everything in my head again. It was then that I realized Noah didn’t touch my left breast once. Not once. I didn’t know what to think of it and suddenly my high came crashing down. Did it affect him the way it did me? Could he feel the burn that I felt constantly in my breast when he touched it? Did he look at me as damaged already?

Noah turned me toward him and smiled. Apparently he wasn’t feeling the same emotions I was, and he looked . . . well . . . for lack of a better term . . . well fucked!

“Jesus, Victoria, what did you do to me? I don’t think I’ve ever fucked you that hard. Are you okay?”

I promptly tucked my questioning thoughts away and smiled back at him. “I’m great—that was amazing and exactly what I needed.”

In all honesty, it was what I needed, but I wasn’t prepared for the feelings I had afterward. Noah popped up out of bed and pulled on his boxers. “Why don’t you stay here and I’ll go heat up our dinner and we’ll eat it naked in bed?”

“Sure, that would be great.” I smiled as I sat up and watched him walk out of our bedroom.

I sat naked in our bed with my thoughts waging a war inside my head. Would this be the last time we had sex while I had breasts? Would he look at me like this again or be totally disgusted when my body was disfigured? Would he find me attractive anymore? Would he want me when I was damaged?

Hot tears started to stream down my checks as a soft sob left my lips. What the hell? This wasn’t me. I was strong. I didn’t cry. I wasn’t going to let this take over my life, and I couldn’t let Noah see how scared I was. Jumping off of the bed, I ran into the bathroom, quickly washed my face and tried my best to cover up the puffy and glassy-eyed look that now was present on my face. I grabbed my face lotion and cover-up and tried to hide the evidence of my mini-meltdown before Noah got back.

Once I was satisfied with how I looked, I made my way back into our bedroom at the same time Noah appeared with two plates heaped full of pasta, a loaf of bread, and a bottle of wine.

“Is everything okay?” he questioned, a troubled look on his face. He must have noticed that I had freshened up.

“Yep, couldn’t be better,” I said cheerfully as I jumped back onto the bed and smiled at Noah. “Shouldn’t you be naked?”

He didn’t seem to believe me but just smirked and shook his head at me as he placed the tray on the bed. He then proceeded to slide off his boxers and climb back in bed with me.

*

When I woke the next morning, Noah had already left for the office, so I lazed around until it was time to get ready for my girls’ spa day.

Knock. Knock
.

I opened my front door to find Bobbie Jo standing on the other side, holding a cup of coffee. She shoved it into my hand. “Morning, toots! Are you ready to go?” I couldn’t help the smile on my face.

Bobbie Jo always knew how to settle my nerves and enjoy life. “Almost—I just need to grab my purse and my outfit for dinner. I’ll be right back.” I ran upstairs to grab the garment bag from my closet and was ready to go. “Let’s do this,” I said as I grabbed my purse and we headed out the door.

Bobbie Jo was excited to show off her new car, so she offered to drive. We listened to old-school ’90s favorites and found ourselves singing at the top of our lungs, not caring if people were staring at us. I couldn’t help the feeling of being young and carefree again.

We were giggling as we pulled up in front of the posh PreserveSpa, and I saw Dana and Jen waiting with huge smiles on their faces. I hopped out of the car and was quickly pulled into a mob-like hug before being ushered through the doors into the spa.

The spa was exquisite. Warm browns and earth-tone accents covered every square inch. The scent of warm exotic oils and the sounds of water trickling and soft music playing instantly relaxed me.

Bobbie Jo looked at me and the girls. “You guys take a seat, and I’ll go check us in.”

Jen chimed in, “Shouldn’t we all check in?”

“Nope,” Bobbie Jo quickly replied. “You’re all here as my guests, and this is my treat.” Putting her hand up to halt any argument, she continued, “We are all here for Victoria. She asked for time with us and the next few months are going to be hard on her and we’ll need to keep her spirits up.” She dug into her handbag, which was the size of a small child, and pulled out a little notecard for everyone. “This is the planning schedule for ‘Victoria’s secret adventures.’ I know you appreciate the title,” she said with a wink. “Each of you will be responsible for planning a girls’ day where we can all forget the world and enjoy each other.”