Beneath the Elder Tree (2 page)

   ‘They’re heartbroken,’ I said as we passed them on the garden path. ‘I take it this is because of me?’

   ‘Don’t blame yourself for what they’re going through. It’s not your fault you died.’

   ‘I don’t want to go inside, Emily. I really don’t want to do this right now.’

   ‘You must. You need to learn that sorrow has no place in your new life. It is an emotion that belongs only to the living. It could drive you insane if you allow it to infect you here.’

   ‘Spirits can go crazy?’

   ‘You have no idea, Lucy.’ She was deadly serious when she said it, and her eyes even went opaque momentarily, almost white. ‘When someone goes insane here it can be very, very dangerous. Come on,’ she said, gripping my hand, ‘let’s not delay this.’

   We climbed the steps to the old red brick house and melted through the tall green door. It was gloomy and deathly quiet inside and I was overwhelmed by an air of grief. It instantly drained me and I found it hard to continue along the dim hallway. The anxiety I’d felt outside was rising with every forward step.

   ‘What you’re feeling is perfectly natural.’ Emily put her arm around my waist and together we edged forward. ‘Negative emotions can eat up a lot of the energy that spirits use for strength. It’s best to avoid such situations. On this occasion, however, it is necessary for you to endure this to properly understand how you have changed.’

   I’d been to the house hundreds of times throughout my life and knew the family always gathered in the sitting room when faced with a dilemma or a tragedy. It was an old tradition. The house first belonged to my grandparents and whenever there was an accident or an illness or a death in the family, they would call everyone in the extended family to that room to discuss what was to be done. After my grandparents died, the house was passed to Hilary and she carried on the custom. It had been like this when my aunt’s husband died two years earlier. It had been a horrible experience. He had suffered with disease for many years and we all knew he would ultimately succumb to it. This would be far worse. I was young and full of life. No one would have believed that I could die at such a tender age.

   I walked ahead of Emily and into the room to see my mother and father sitting by the window overlooking the back garden. Hillary and her son Brian, who was a couple of years older than me, were slumped on the couch and uncle Peter entered the room just after me and took a seat by the coffee table.

   They were discussing the funeral arrangements and there was to be some sort of celebration of my life that would involve my closest friends. I didn’t really focus on what they were talking about. I simply stood in the centre of the room and sensed the emotional turmoil that each of them was enduring. It was like an invisible storm that whipped me from all sides. The atmosphere was sucking the life right out of me.

   The strongest emotions came from my parents - my mother in particular. I could tell she wanted to die right then and there. She felt as if her life no longer had any purpose now I was gone. It weighed heavily on my absent heart to see her so upset and suffering such desperation. She was such a good person. She had been such a good mother and friend. She didn’t deserve this. I watched her nodding as Hilary made suggestions. She wasn’t even listening. Her mind was travelling through a thousand memories that I shared with her. My life had given her so much joy. My death had turned every happy memory into an emotional punishment.

   Dad felt as if he’d failed me. He blamed himself that he wasn’t there to prevent my death. He blamed himself for not being around enough in recent years. He was sorry that he’d laughed when I told him I wanted to be a musician. There was something inside him that was broken and would probably never be repaired.

   They were both tortured by one memory in particular. I’d moved out of the family home seven months earlier and rented the apartment on the opposite side of Hampton. They were so worried about me getting involved with the wrong guy, or getting pregnant, or both. Little did they know that another girl would be the person they would argue with me about. I usually went for guys, but had a casual taste for girls from time to time. It wasn’t something I indulged too often. Moving away from my parents gave me a new sense of freedom and allowed me to experiment a little more. I’d sparked up a friendship with a girl I’d met at a gig. We spent time together. We were admirers of each other’s beauty more than lovers, and never shared more than a an innocent kiss. It was a shame that my parents had witnessed that kiss outside a bar one night. My mother hardly spoke to me for three months after that - despite my casual relationship ending two weeks after the incident at the bar. Dad had come round quicker. He loved me too much to stay away.

   ‘Stop dwelling on that memory.’ Emily said sharply. ‘It’s draining you.’

   ‘Oh, you didn’t approve either?’

   ‘Physical acts mean little to spirits. I never cared about your sexuality. It was just a nuisance that you could never make up your damned mind.’

   My mother suddenly burst into tears and moaned into her hands. Dad wrapped his arms around her and said it would be all right. He did a great job of lying.

   ‘Try your best to remain calm,’ Emily said, severing my concentration. Her luminous gaze skipped from one family member to the next. ‘It’s easy to get drawn into the sorrow they are experiencing.’

   ‘This isn’t right,’ I told her. ‘They shouldn’t have to suffer like this. I’m right here beside them and if they knew that they wouldn’t be going through this agony.’

   ‘Death is a part of life, Lucy.’

   ‘It’s wrong.’

   I instinctively reached out to my mother. I wanted to touch her hand, hoping she would know I wasn’t completely gone. I needed her to understand that I didn’t simply cease to exist. I knew if I could touch her and concentrate hard enough she would know I was there with her in some capacity. I simply had to give her some measure of comfort in this darkest of hours.

   ‘Don’t,’ Emily pleaded. ‘It’s forbidden.’

   ‘Is everything forbidden in this place?’ I spun around and stared down at her. ‘We’re not allowed to do anything. I have to stand here watching my family going through this hell and I can’t even let them know that I’m here.’

   ‘You have to realise that your old life is over,’ Emily replied evenly. ‘Your time with your family and friends is also over. You have already had that time and it is now a thing of the past.’

   ‘She shouldn’t be going through this,’ I said, turning back to examine my mother’s distraught expression. ‘I just want to let her know that I’m still around.’

   ‘And your clumsy attempts to communicate with her will increase her misery. She’ll think she’s going crazy - others will too. She might even think she’s being haunted or possessed which could completely shatter her already fragile state of mind. Even if you did convince her and your father that you were still around and could interact with them, what good would come of it? You’d only want to stay with them and you would torment yourself because you would never truly be a part of their lives again. You’d be watching them from a distance and would be consumed by sorrow. It would drive you insane. Lucy, you must realise, right now, that you are not here to reveal to the living that there is life after death. That is not why you were brought here.’

   ‘What am I here for?’

   ‘I expected that after your death we would both pass into the world beyond. The fact that you’re here in the mirror world can only mean one thing: You have been selected to be a spirit guide for someone in the living world.’

   ‘That means I’ll be trapped here for years,’ I exclaimed, ‘decades even. This is like a prison sentence. What have I done to deserve this?’

   ‘It’s not all bad.’

   ‘Isn’t it? It’s grey and boring and lonely. I’m standing here looking at my family crying and now you’re telling me I have to stay in this bleak world for an entire lifetime. It isn’t fair.’

   ‘Life’s not fair,’ Emily scoffed, ‘but we can make life a little more bearable in times of darkness.’

   ‘What are you talking about now?’

   Emily didn’t answer me. Her focus instead turned to my mother and she crossed the room and sat beside her. She raised one hand and her fingertips began to glow brightly before streams of miniscule orbs appeared around her fingers. The little circles of light merged to form a pulsing ball of energy.

   Emily smiled at me as she grasped the orb. ‘We spirits are quite useful in times of darkness.’

   ‘What is that thing?’

   ‘Nothing and everything.’

   Emily released her grip on the orb and it gravitated towards my mother and passed directly into her chest. It had an immediate effect and her tears subsided. She was visibly stronger and seemed to pass that strength to my father when she unexpectedly reached out and hugged him.

   ‘How did you do that?’

   ‘I gave her some of my aura. The more positive aura you have, the stronger you become.’

   ‘Explain it to me.’

   ‘We, like living beings, thrive on positive aura. Unlike living beings though, we can pass our aura to others. That’s what I’ve just done. It will help your mother through these difficult hours.’

   ‘I don’t rightly understand what you’re saying, Emily, but thank you.’

   ‘You’re welcome.’

   ‘Hold on… why is it positive aura? Why not just aura?’

   ‘I commend your powers of observation.’ She gave a rueful smile. ‘It is described as positive aura because there is also negative aura.’

   ‘We don’t have the negative kind, do we?’

   ‘No. It is the fuel for another type of being. I know you’re full of questions, Lucy, but now is not the time for a thousand answers that will spawn a thousand more questions. Now is the time for you to say farewell to your family. You will never be able to return to them again.’

- CHAPTER THREE -

Night World

We remained at the house for over an hour. I listened in as my family talked about me. It was strange to be talked about in the past tense. My uncles recalled some funny memories of me when I was a child. There was little genuine laughter - they just wanted to make my folks feel better. I watched them hugging and inclining their heads to hide their true sorrow from one another. Nothing could be hidden from me. I experienced all the emotions in the room and it left me practically paralysed. This would be a moment that I would never be able to banish from memory.

   After a while my uncles broke out the booze and everyone gladly took a drink. It seemed to relax them and the tears subsided. They talked about the past and of other family members who had passed on. Most of the stories were about my grandmother and her crazy stories. She’d gone a bit funny in her final years and I think she started to believe in the fairytales she used to tell us. At least everyone could laugh about it now.

   ‘We should go,’ Emily suggested. She stood next to me by the door and placed her hand over mine. ‘This is draining us both. We must leave before we grow too weak to get out.’

   ‘I’d rather stay.’

   ‘You must trust me this one time.’ She stood in front of me and looked up at me with glimmering blue eyes. ‘Please, trust me this one time?’

   ‘All right, Emily.’

   I took one last look at my parents before she led me from the room. As we left the house I saw more familiar faces entering the garden and sombrely making their way up the path. It was my band-mates: Dan, Mike and Susan. They were all wearing black - this had nothing to do with the occasion though, they always wore black because they were too serious to be thinking about colour. They were a dour looking trio at the best of times but they were vivid people behind their gloomy appearances. They had been my best friends for many years.

   ‘Who’s going to do the talking?’ Dan asked, without looking at the others.

   ‘I’m no good at talking,’ Mike answered. ‘Lucy always did the talking for us. Jesus, I’ll faint if I have to talk.’

   ‘Me too,’ Dan replied, still not looking at the others. ‘Maybe you should do the talking, Sue. You’re a girl.’

   ‘She is?’ Mike snorted.

   ‘Shut up, Mike,’ Susan hissed. ‘This isn’t the time for wisecracks. And I’m not doing the talking. You two know Lucy’s family better than me.’

   How would they survive without me? I’d always had to do everything for them. I would miss them greatly, as much as they would miss me.

   ‘They’ll survive,’ Emily assured me. ‘They’ll grow up and live long and fulfilling lives.’

   ‘They’ll live fulfilling lives but they’ll never make in the music world without me.’

    We stood by the street for a while as our strength gradually returned. I tried to come to terms with what I’d just experienced, but it was an impossible situation to deal with. I hated that I was in the mirror world, as Emily called it. To me the place seemed lifeless and was no true reflection of the real world.

   ‘They mourn your death even though you’re not really dead,’ Emily preached. ‘You feel sorrow because they have lost something that has not really been lost.’

   ‘You’re trying to distract me from what’s just happened.’

   ‘I am not. I’m simply trying to show you that what you’re feeling is fruitless.’

   ‘You have no idea of what I’m feeling.’

   ‘I do. I died nineteen years ago and went through the exact same experience with my spirit guide. He showed me my family going hysterical at the hospital then explained that I had to move on. And I have. And I know that some day I’ll see my family again and there will be joy between us once more. Why should there be sorrow when we will meet again in a better place?’

   ‘I’ll see my family again?’

   ‘Undoubtedly.’

   ‘It could be an entire lifetime before that happens.’

   ‘You’re going to live forever, Lucy. Is waiting a lifetime such a big deal? Is it really so bad that you’ll be stuck in this world for a few years?’

   ‘All right, you made your point.’

   ‘Good. Let’s get going.’

   ‘Where to this time?’

   ‘You’ll see when we get there.’

   ‘I hope this will be more pleasant than what you’ve just shown me.’

   We walked for almost thirty minutes along a road that was very familiar to me. I’d come this way the day before, returning from band practice at Susan’s house. We’d been working really hard of late and were only a month away from playing our first proper gig.

   The journey was uneventful until I suddenly felt drained of all my strength and had to stop. I leaned on a garden wall and my spirit body grew heavy, as if it was made of lead. Emily also seemed to weaken visibly and her eyes went very dull.

   ‘Don’t rest here,’ she insisted. ‘This place is not good for us.’

   ‘What’s so special about this spot?’

   I caught her glancing over the wall at a house behind me. Her eyes pulsed red for an instant before fading to white.

   ‘There’s something in that house, isn’t there?’ I turned to examine the façade of the three storey building. The house looked derelict and the garden was overgrown, with litter strewn about it. The tall windows were black and impenetrable. I could see nothing inside but I felt a presence within those walls. An unkind presence.

   ‘This is an evil place.’ Emily whispered. ‘Don’t ever come here again.’

   ‘What’s evil about it?’ I asked as I stared at the grimy windows of the house. ‘Why is this house any different to all the other houses on this street?’

   ‘The house is just bricks and mortar,’ Emily said quietly. ‘It’s what’s inside.’

   ‘Tell me what it is?’

   ‘Not now.’ She tugged at me and her face betrayed the fear that she was feeling. ‘Please, let’s go.’

   Emily claimed she was an adult but I suspected that because she died young, she would never truly be a grown-up. A part of her would always be the little girl that lost her life when she was eight years old. I felt protective of her because of her youthful appearance, and didn’t want her to be afraid. I pushed myself from the wall, took her hand and staggered away from the mysterious house.

   ‘You all right?’ I asked her.

   ‘Of course I am,’ Emily spat. She was obviously embarrassed that she’d shown some vulnerability in front of me. It was written all over her face. ‘I’m a veteran of this place. I’m always all right.’

   ‘What was that back there? What was in the house?’

   ‘I’ll explain it to you later.’

   She paced ahead of me and took to a road that was leading us away from Hampton. I doubted I would ever return to my home town. There was nothing but sorrow for me there, anyway. Every street and every face would remind me of my former life and the fact that it had been cut short so cruelly. I lamented all that was gone and that was to be. I mourned my own passing.

   ‘Stop dwelling on the negative,’ Emily said over her shoulder as she shuffled along the pavement.

   ‘I can’t help it. There were so many things I wanted to do. I never played a gig with my friends. I never travelled to other countries. I never found true love...’

   ‘I know you didn’t.’ Emily waited for me to catch up. ‘I know exactly how you feel. I never got to do any of those things either. I too have contemplated all the wonderful things that I missed out on. It serves only to make me sad. I’ve come to the conclusion that it was my destiny to die young, so that I could properly guide another young person. It was just my time.’

   ‘Perhaps it was just my time, too.’

   ‘There was a higher calling for you, Lucy. I’m sure of it.’

   ‘I didn’t say goodbye to my parents when I left their house the other day...’

   ‘I know.’ She threw her skinny arms around my waist and gave me a hug. ‘I know.’

   ‘I should have.’

   ‘It’s impossible to get through life without having some regrets, Lucy.’ She took a step away and looked up into my eyes. ‘Everyone leaves the living world with regrets of some sort.’

   ‘I wish I could speak to them one more time.’

   ‘Rule one: Never make contact with the people from your past life.’

   ‘That doesn’t seem fair.’

   ‘Believe me, it’s very fair. The living are much better off not knowing what exists beyond their lives.’

   ‘Why? Surely it’d be easier if they knew there was more to come.’

   ‘No. If they knew what was to come they would simply waste what little time they have on earth. Their world would cease to function and they would lose all ambition and perseverance. The living world would then become a limbo of sorts.’

   ‘Are we in limbo, Emily?’

   ‘Limbo is a term invented by the living so they could comprehend what is beyond them. There are five types of reality. Five parallel universes. We - you and I - exist in two: The mirror world and the night world. But we can also see into the living world. The fourth world is where we go when our time in spirit world is at an end.’

   ‘You said there are five worlds, yet you only named four.’

   ‘You don’t need to know about the fifth world right now.’

   ‘I’m getting fed up with your secrets, Emily.’

   ‘You won’t have to put up with my secrecy for too long.’

   ‘Your time here is almost at end, isn’t it?’

   ‘Almost,’ she nodded. ‘My duty was to guide and protect you while you were living.’

   ‘Why are you still here?’

   ‘I have to show you the ropes. My guess is that I’ll have three days at most. I’ll probably start to fade out tomorrow.’

   ‘Fade out?’

   ‘It takes time to pass from this world into the world beyond. It took almost three days for my spirit guide to pass over and I’m thinking it’ll be the same for me.’

   ‘It’s going to be pretty lonely here without you.’

   ‘It won’t be. You’ll be too busy to feel loneliness.’

   ‘How will I know who I’m supposed to guide?’

   ‘We’ll talk about that later. First, I want to bring you somewhere really beautiful. And,’ she grabbed my hand started leading me along the pavement again, ‘we need to get there before we enter night world.’

   ‘We’re about to enter into another world?’

   ‘Mirror world and night world are the same. Think of them like two sides to a coin. One side - night world - is clean and shiny and magnificent to behold. The other side - mirror world - is dull and scratched and is rather unpleasant on the eye.’

   ‘And we pass through both worlds each day?’

   ‘Yes,’ she said giddily. ‘But you’re going to wish you could live in night world forever. You’re about to have your big blue eyes opened!’

*   *   *

We hardly spoke as she led me towards the old abattoir that stood derelict on the outskirts of Hampton. The sun was slowly dying behind us and I was seeing colours for the first time that day. The fuzziness that blighted the mirror world was sharpening, like a lens being twisted into focus. I also noticed that the anxiety and sorrow that had pestered me all day was receding and I was feeling somewhat refreshed and upbeat. The entire world around me was evolving right before my eyes, and I was evolving with it.

   ‘Is this night world?’ I called out to Emily. ‘Everything seems different all of a sudden.’

   ‘No, the sun hasn’t gone down yet. We’re still in mirror world, but it’s fading which is lifting the curse of the sun from us. Think of it like being shackled in a prison cell. The shackles have just been removed but you haven’t left the cell yet. Night world is when you step outside the cell into a much broader and more vibrant environment.’

   ‘I fail to see how night could be more vibrant than day. Are we like vampires or something?’

   ‘Let’s not talk about vampires.’

   ‘What? Are you telling me they actually exist.’

   ‘There are a lot strange beings in the various worlds. You’ll learn all about them in time - when you’re experienced enough to understand why they exist.’

   ‘More secrets.’

   ‘I don’t want to talk about the evils of the world right now.’

   ‘Suit yourself.’

   I knew the abattoir very well. It’d been closed for over a decade and was a pretty grim place at the best of times. The residents of Hampton had been petitioning the local authorities for years to have it dismantled. I couldn’t understand why Emily thought it would be beautiful at night. It was dismal enough in daylight and nobody went there after dark, except for secretive lovers or the occasional troublemakers from the city. The iron structure came into full view as we passed the last of the houses. It loomed over its overgrown grounds like a rusted metal monster waiting for unsuspecting victims to cross its path.

   ‘I’m still not seeing the beauty,’ I said with a snort. ‘It’s as ugly as ever.’

   Emily ignored me and continued on across the road and onto the wasteland surrounding the building. As we entered the stretch of patchy grassland I froze up and stared at the ground at my feet.

   The world was indeed changing. As the sunlight faded, the world became bright and full of life. A faint luminous mist began to rise from the grass, the flowers and the trees that surrounded us. The insects that buzzed past us sparked brightly and little lights fluttered in their wake. Pulses of light rippled out from the birds in the trees. The nocturnal creatures that scurried in the undergrowth were radiating brightness, like dancing flames in black grass. It didn’t make any sense. The world was brighter now than it had been during daylight.

   ‘What the hell is going on?’

   ‘It’s the aura,’ Emily said calmly, as if this was ordinary to her. ‘Every living creature has an aura. In night world you get to see that aura in every colour imaginable. This is merely the beginning, Lucy. The sun is about to disappear, and when it does night world will take over.’ She hurried on towards the building. ‘Follow me. I want you to see the bigger picture.’

   Emily was quicker and more agile now than she’d been earlier that day. She leaped off the ground and landed on the metal wall of the factory and stood horizontally before pacing up the wall towards the roof. Everything about this level of existence was strange and unexpected. Every second there was something new to experience.

   ‘Come on,’ she shouted from above. ‘Try it for yourself.’

   Passing through doors had been a little odd. This, on the other hand, was completely surreal. Still, I wanted to be able to do the things she did. I wanted to master this strange new world. I darted forward and I jumped at the corrugated wall. To my dismay, I bounced right off it and landed in the grass.

   ‘Why did you fall?’ Emily shouted from the roof.

   ‘Because I’m trying to walk up a wall!’ I screamed back. ‘I’ve never done this before.’

   ‘What dragged you back to earth?’

   ‘Gravity.’