Best for the Baby (8 page)

A part of him was growing inside her, and while she didn’t have one moment of doubt or regret about the baby, she wondered how she could ever have thought of him as father material. Well…that had been part of the problem, hadn’t it? They hadn’t been thinking much at all that night.

Suppose she never saw him again? Then what—

“Something smells like it’s burning.”

Alaina jumped as Zack spoke behind her. How long had she been standing at the sink, drifting into daydreams? It always seemed as if her head was somewhere else these days.

She rushed to the stove and discovered that the water had boiled out from under the broccoli. She ran more into the pan, then checked out the damage. The pieces on the bottom were singed, but salvageable.

“How do you like your broccoli?” she asked, tilting the pan toward him.

“Well done?”

“Good answer.”

While Alaina finished preparing the meal, Zack filled iced tea glasses and set the table. He always placed their plates across from one another, as though establishing another invisible barrier between them.

He filled the silence with news from home. The Pinar del Lago bridge project in the Miramar subdivision where they had both once lived had been approved, and his building crew had been given the go-ahead to start the reconstruction. She wondered if that meant he’d have to go back to Miami sooner than she was prepared for.

Finally, dinner was ready, and they both sat down.

As Alaina unfolded her napkin, she looked up and offered Zack a vague smile. She saw him rub his fingers along his knee. He’d told her about his car accident. He’d been on the ladder earlier, and no doubt his ankle ached. He looked tired.

“How did it go today?” she asked.

“Good. I finished replacing the back steps that were rotted, and rescreened the porch.”

“No problem managing the ladder with your ankle?”

“You get very inventive when you have to,” he replied, forking up a piece of the lemon chicken.

Her gaze dropped to his mouth as he chewed. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach. She forced her eyes up, hoping for distraction.

No luck.

Zack’s hair, still slightly damp from his shower, had caught the light. It was so thick, so luxurious. Alaina could almost feel the silky wet texture of it against her fingers. The tanned skin of his neck would be smooth
and enticingly warm if she were to place her hand to the back of his head….

She pushed the unsettling image away. Concentrating on cutting her salad into smaller bites, she said in a stilted voice, “I think I’ve nailed down the right look you need for the downstairs bathroom. And you wouldn’t have to replace the sink or toilet, just the mirror and lighting.”

“Great. I’m all for easy.” He motioned toward his plate with his fork. “The broccoli is a goner, but you make a mean lemon chicken. But then, you always were a pretty good cook.”

“Thanks,” she said softly, and then spent a ridiculous amount of time pouring on more salad dressing as a way to keep from making eye contact.

The silence spun out uncomfortably. There was the clank of silverware, the clink of ice melting in the glasses, but no other sound. This wouldn’t do. This wouldn’t do at all.

Desperately, Alaina pulled a paint brochure from the nearby stack. She unfolded it, then twisted it around so that Zack could see the samples she’d circled.

“What do you think of using one of these three colors for the downstairs bathroom? Which do you like? Moss Green, Woodland Forest or Sage Glen?”

Zack tilted his head, reviewing the colors several long moments. Then he grimaced. “They’re green. Would you be offended if I said I couldn’t tell the difference between the three?”

“No, but I’d have to ask if you were color-blind.”

He jabbed his finger down to indicate his choice. “I like that one.”

Alaina leaned across the table, then looked up at
him in surprise. “Really? I was sure you’d pick Woodland Forest.”

“Then go with that.”

“You’re not helping.”

“I trust you to know what would work best,” he said with a shrug. Flipping through the brochure, he stopped and frowned down at one of the pages. “Unless you pick something like this.” He swung the pamphlet around so that she could see it. “
These
I hate.”

She saw instantly that he had found the section of paint samples meant for a little girl’s room—Bubblegum Pink, Strawberry Fields. Leaning back in her chair, she had to laugh. “I love those colors! They’re sweet and sentimental and—”

“I am
not
painting a single room in this cottage anything called…” he squinted at the paint names “…Cotton Candy Summer. Don’t even think about it.”

She pretended to give it real consideration. “I don’t know, I think it’s light and fun….”

“Perfect if you want to paint a dollhouse.”

“
That’s
what it reminds me of!” she said, clapping her hands together. “The dream house I had for my dolls. Gosh, I loved that place.” She gave him a narrowed glance. “Until a certain someone decided to desecrate it for Halloween.”

Growing up with Zack next door had been terrific, exciting, fun.
Most
of the time. But the year Alaina and he were eight, he’d been an absolute devil, tormenting her for becoming obsessed with her dolls. For being what he considered “too girlie.”

“I gave it character,” he claimed.

The day before Halloween, Zack had slipped into her
bedroom and covered the dollhouse with black theatrical makeup and fake cobwebs. He’d hidden tiny rubber spiders everywhere, even under Barbie’s pillow.

“It was vandalism,” Alaina said with a shake of her head. “Mom worked all afternoon to scrub off the black, and I cried the whole time. When Dad found out what you’d done, he wanted to march over to your house and make your dad buy me a new dollhouse. Lucky for you I begged him not to.” She cocked her head, scrutinizing him. “Why
did
you do such a horrible thing?”

He set down his iced tea glass. He didn’t seem contrite at all. “Because you were ignoring me,” he said simply. “I wanted you to come outside and do guy stuff with me, and all you wanted to do was play Barbies.”

“All you had to do was ask,” she said lightly. “No Barbie I ever had could take your place.” The words were out before she could stop them. Heat rushed to her cheeks because she knew how that had sounded. She turned her attention back to her plate. “I mean, you had all the cool boy junk—the kinds of things little girls never get to play with.”

She flicked one quick glance his way and saw that he knew exactly what she was thinking. He gave her that lazy one-sided smile that any woman would find irresistible. She made a determined effort to be immune to it, even though the nervous twitch along her insides told her she was not.

After that, the silence between them got worse, unbearable. The meal she’d prepared was good, but she couldn’t take any enjoyment in it, and spent the next ten minutes pushing the food around on her plate. As for Zack, he found sudden interest in some of the decorat
ing pamphlets that lay nearby. Alaina suspected he was faking it just to keep from talking to her anymore.

Finally, she scraped her chair back and carried her plate to the kitchen counter. While she ran water into the sink, Zack sat at the table, seemingly absorbed in creating some list. When he got up to bring her his dirty dishes, she had to find a reason to move away. He was just so darn close.

“Do you want some help cleaning up?”

“No,” she said a little too quickly. Definitely not a good idea. “I can manage.”

“Then if you don’t mind, I think I’ll sit on the porch awhile. It’s cool out, and the stars should be good tonight. It would be a shame to waste them.”

Was he hinting that she should join him? She searched his face, but could find no invitation there. Better not take any foolish chances.

“All right,” she said, doing her best to stifle a phony yawn. “I’ll probably go to bed early.”

“Sleep well, then.”

She heard him head down the hallway, then the squeal of the front door as it opened. Remembering that she still had a small favor to ask before he could disappear completely, Alaina hurried to stop him.

“Zack,” she called from the kitchen doorway. “One more thing…”

With his hand on the knob, he swung back around.

“Do you mind if I take the car into town tomorrow?” she asked.

“Are you picking up supplies?”

“No. Actually…I have my first doctor’s appointment.”

“Oh.” After a long hesitation, he nodded. “Then you have to go. In fact, I’ll drive you.”

“That isn’t necessary.”

“No sweat. I need to make a run to the hardware store, anyway. What time?”

“Eight.” Inexplicably, she felt awkward discussing this with him. “Since it’s my first visit, it may take a little longer. But I need to get on a regular schedule of appointments while I’m here.”

“Of course you do,” he agreed quickly, and something in his tone told her that he was choosing his words carefully. “The baby. That’s the only thing that should matter right now.”

Grabbing a jacket off the coat tree, he turned to head out the door. In another instant, the night had swallowed him whole.

Z
ACK SAT AT A CORNER
table in the crowded Creekside Diner, toying with his coffee cup. It was almost ten, and the large room was nearly full of tourists looking for a late breakfast. Lake Harmony’s annual fall festival had brought a lot of people into town. The season was in full swing.

He was waiting for Alaina to join him after her appointment with the doctor, and he was getting hungry. His gaze traveled around the room, returning every few seconds to the front door. Anticipation hummed through him, but it had nothing to do with his appetite. At least, not his appetite for food.

He could still see her striding away from the car this morning as he had dropped her off at Dr. Linderman’s office. The curves of her body were beautifully molded by the cut of her slacks. The peasant blouse she wore made her look as graceful and free-spirited as a woodland nymph. He hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her.

Zack’s lips quirked briefly in a self-mocking grimace. It had been naive to expect that being around Alaina would be manageable. Working most of the day on the outside of the cottage helped, but damn, those hours after the sun went down were tough.

There were evenings when everything seemed normal.
But there were also times when the air felt charged, filled with tension, making even the most mundane conversations, the simplest shared look seem dangerous.

At night, he lay awake long hours, trying not to remember that evening in the living room. But it didn’t matter. He only had to close his eyes to recall the way it had been—Alaina’s flesh silky and warm as he had aroused her, until tiny ripples moved through her body under his hand. How clearly he had committed to memory the matching hunger in her eyes.

Every day he told himself that it was enough to have her close to him again. It was true that he longed for their old friendship. They didn’t have to be lovers. But now that she was back at Heron Cove, he knew his need for her was stronger than ever. Stronger maybe than he could handle.

But what—if anything—could he do about it?

He shifted restlessly in his seat, sending another glance toward the door. As though his thoughts had summoned her, Alaina stood at the diner’s entrance. He raised his hand to catch her attention, and she began weaving her way among the densely packed tables.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said in a rush as she joined him.

She settled in the chair beside him to keep from blocking the aisle. The sharp-eyed waitress named Becky appeared at their table, offering to fill her coffee cup. Alaina shook her head. The woman topped off Zack’s, left them menus and scurried away to see to other tables.

“How did it go?” he asked.

He thought he knew the answer to that. Alaina’s cheeks were flushed with excitement. Her smile was the brightest he’d seen since they’d reconnected.

She leaned closer, as though passing on secrets. “Oh, Zack, it was wonderful. Dr. Linderman was very kind and thorough. He made me feel so good. And his office staff seems really efficient and nice.”

“And how are
you?
”

“I’m fine, and so is the baby. There are a million things I have to start doing differently, of course. Like the vitamins I’ll need to take. A, B12, K. I don’t even know what folic acid is, but I’m supposed to start taking it. And the food! No more caffeine if I can help it. But there are no restrictions I can’t live with.”

“What about the nausea? Did you tell him you’ve thrown up every day this week?”

She sat back, giving him a surprised look. “How do you know that?”

He smiled. “I’m starting to think of it as my morning wake-up call.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Al,” he said, dismissing the need for an apology. “I just hate to see you feeling so miserable.”

“He says it should start tapering off soon. I’m almost three months along.” She dug into a small plastic sack that carried the name of the doctor’s office on it. “He gave me so many pamphlets to read, and a book about what I can expect these next few months.” She made a soft exclamation of delight as she grabbed something in the bag. “Oh, I almost forgot the sonogram! Do you want—” She released her hold on the object and tapped her menu instead as she made a face. “Never mind. Let’s order breakfast.”

“What were you going to say?”

She looked at him uncertainly for a moment, but her
happiness was so great, it seemed as if she might explode if she didn’t share it. Finally, she dug back into the bag and pulled out a piece of paper. “I was going to show you my sonogram,” she said. “But as a guy, you probably don’t want to see it. And I know you don’t approve of all this—”

He plucked it out of her hand. “I’ve never said I didn’t approve of you having a baby. I just think there are better ways to do it. Let me see.”

She leaned closer. He tried to concentrate on the image on the page, the little blob of something that was supposed to be the baby, but the picture blurred as his body reacted to her nearness. The pleasant shampoo smell of her hair. The fragile turn of her neck. He gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the insistent signal he was getting from his loins.

“I know it’s hard to make out,” she said. She pointed to a pale oval that didn’t look like much of anything. “See? That’s his head, and here’s his hand—”

“It’s a boy?”

“I don’t know. I told them not to tell me yet. But I keep thinking it will be a boy. Either way, it doesn’t matter.”

His brow lifted. “It might to the father. Have you heard from him?”

“No,” she said in a small, quiet voice.

He couldn’t tell if she was disappointed by that fact, or merely embarrassed. He supposed that, even after such neglect, she still might want the guy. After all, he
was
the kid’s father.

Becky had returned to take their orders. As soon as she saw the sonogram image in Zack’s hands, she made a sound of delight and grinned at Alaina. “So Doc Lin
derman made it official, huh? Congratulations! How far along are you?”

The two women talked for a few minutes. Alaina shared most of the information the doctor had given her. Becky had two young children of her own and was full of advice.

Zack sat quietly and watched Alaina.

Her features seemed to take on a new life as she spoke to Becky about the baby. Her eyes sparkled. Her skin glowed. Everything about her seemed brighter somehow.

It hit him then—the full weight of it. Whatever farfetched dreams he had been entertaining about the two of them only minutes ago disappeared like water through cupped hands. He wanted her, but the foolish fantasy he carried in his head could not happen. This woman had found purpose. No boyfriend, no lover was going to shake her from it.

The baby was real to her now.

The baby was everything.

Eventually Becky took their orders and drifted away.

Alaina sighed. “I know you must be bored to tears. I can’t help it. I still can’t believe it’s going to happen. After all these years, I’m finally going to be a mother. It’s my own little miracle, Zack.”

He looked directly into her eyes. “I’m happy for you, Al.”

She blinked, as though she couldn’t be sure she’d heard correctly. At last she said, “Thank you.” She cleared her throat, avoiding his gaze as she fussed with her napkin. “There’s a reason I was late getting here. I finally called my folks and Maggie to tell them about the baby.”

The news stunned him. “How did they take it?”

“The way you’d expect. Full of reasons why I should come home immediately. Maggie even tried to bribe me.”

“So why don’t you go? Surely you could use some help with the baby, and Jeffrey would know where to find you.”

The way her mouth tightened, he could tell she was unhappy with that idea. “I don’t need to run back to Mommy and Daddy, and Jeffrey can find me here just as easily if he ever bothers to look.”

“Did you tell them you were with me at Heron Cove?”

“Yes. I had to make Maggie swear on her kids’ lives that she wouldn’t get in the car and come up here. She finally agreed to back off, but only because she trusts you to keep me out of trouble.”

He snorted at that comment and glanced away. Her hero. What a joke. How many white knights took one look at their damsel-in-distress and wanted to rip her clothes off?

Alaina seemed to sense his discomfort because she began playing with her silverware. “Besides,” she said, “I have things to do in Lake Harmony, and I’m perfectly happy doing them. I don’t want to go home and have to explain every decision and listen to a million words of wisdom that are probably right, but that I don’t want to hear just now.” He watched her force a smile. “Did you order the new tile for the bathroom?”

“It’s being shipped from Atlanta and should be here in a couple of days.”

“Great.” Her eyes wandered around the room as she took a sip from her water glass. “Lots of people in town,” she observed. “I guess they’ve come for the festival.”

“Probably.”

“I’ve seen the flyers everywhere. Sounds like fun.”

“Would you like to go this afternoon?” he found himself asking, though his head told him it was foolish. The less time they spent together, just the two of them, the easier it would be to get into the car and go back to Miami.

“Why not? The walking would probably do me good.”

“Then it’s a date.”

After a lengthy silence, she caught the edge of her mouth with her teeth and looked up at him. “There’s one more thing I’d like to talk to you about….”

“What?”

“Us.”

Zack flinched. He wasn’t expecting that. “Aren’t you the one who said there was no ‘us’?”

“I did. But I want you to know that I’m so glad we’ve been able to keep it friendly. That we haven’t acted on any of those…impulses we were so afraid of. Overall, I think we’ve done remarkably well, don’t you?”

“God, Al. Were we supposed to keep score?” he asked. He felt like throttling her. “You want to put your hormones and my testosterone in the ring together and see who can come out the winner? How ’bout this? No one’s winning.”

She must have heard the bite in his tone because dusky color bloomed on her cheeks. “That’s not true. I know there have been a few awkward moments, but…” Her nervous smile asked for understanding. “Anyway, I just wanted to say how thankful I am that we’ve been able to salvage our friendship, and how much I appreciate your efforts to…to…”

“Ride herd on my libido?” he offered.

Alaina glanced around, as though worried someone might have heard. “That’s not a very subtle way to put it.”

“You want subtle? Pick a different guy.”

Becky showed up at their table at that moment, her hands full of dishes. She slapped plates down in front of them with expertise if not much grace. She refilled Zack’s coffee, then was gone again.

He lifted his fork, but his appetite had nosedived. He took a swig from his coffee cup, then grimaced. The brew must be from the bottom of the pot. It tasted like rocket fuel. Beside him, Alaina was pushing her omelet around on her plate.

Finally, she set her fork down and looked at him. “Are you angry with me?”

Yes,
he wanted to say.
Yes. And damn it, I still want you.

He was tempted to tell her that he’d spent days trying to get a handle on things, and it wasn’t doing a bit of good. He’d had hours of shockingly erotic daydreams. His body was in rebellion every time they were within ten feet of one another. No matter how he bullied his emotions, he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

But none of that would have served any purpose except to intensify the awareness between them and make them both more miserable.

Instead, he breathed deeply and tried to will himself to relax. He allowed the corner of his mouth to lift, and even if it wasn’t a very convincing smile, it was the best he could do at the moment. “No, I’m not mad at you,” he told her. “You’re right. We’re all grown up now, and there isn’t a single reason why we can’t continue to keep a leash on things.”

“That’s what you told me when you came to Coachman’s Court, remember? And I know it’s been difficult sometimes, but we’ll get through it, don’t you think?”

“Yeah. I remember what I told you. And we’re doing
great. Just great.” He settled back in his seat with a sigh. “Finish your breakfast. Then let’s hit the festival. I’m ready for some uncomplicated fun.”

L
AKE
H
ARMONY
, like most communities in the mountains of North Georgia, put on an annual harvest celebration that coincided with the changing color of the leaves.

Two blocks from the heart of town, next to one of the largest cornfields in the area, temporary tents had been set up to offer everything from homemade furniture to pony rides for the kids.

There were food and craft vendors, local merchants hawking their best sale items, a bluegrass group playing every hour, and one of the local apple farms offering tractor-pulled hayrides through their orchards. A complicated image of an eagle clutching an American flag had been cut into the dried cornfield, presenting a challenging maze, and though Halloween was still two weeks away, a pumpkin carving contest was going on under the watchful eyes of the Creekside Diner folks.

Alaina loved these home-grown festivities, and she was delighted by Zack’s suggestion that they should go.

With his hand resting lightly on her elbow, he led her down the length of the festival grounds. They stopped to sample boysenberry pies, pumpkin butter and sweet honey still in the comb. Alaina bought a hand-painted door hanger that said Shhh, Baby’s Asleep! even though she recognized that technically she had no door to attach it to. Zack stopped to admire the work of a local photographer who had captured the sunrise over Dogwood Mountain through every season.

Around midafternoon they took a break, finding two
seats on a haphazard stack of hay bales under a huge red maple that gave their skin a rosy glow. They drank bottled water and watched the crowd for a few minutes. There were several people carting items from the big tent at the end of the field. An auction that had begun just before lunchtime was still going strong.