Best for the Baby (12 page)

I
T WAS TOO DARK
to see Alaina’s features well, but Zack caught the sharp angle of her cheekbones, the way moonlight bounced off her fair hair so that it seemed almost colorless. She looked ghostly, not like a real person at all, and yet just catching this shadowy glimpse of her was enough to make his heart feel loose in his chest.

A long silence, thick and awful, spun out. The night air felt much too intimate and threaded with tension. He had no idea how many seconds they stood there, looking at one another.

Finally, he took a step toward her. He’d made some decisions tonight, and he intended to see them through.

She shook her head, and he stopped.

“I heard you drive up,” he said softly. “When you didn’t come in, I took a chance you might be down here.”

“I went into town,” she replied. Her voice sounded tight.

“You didn’t have to go.”

“I thought it would be best.”

“Best for whom? Those guys interrupted what was turning out to be a very lovely evening.”

When he took a step closer, she backed away. “Zack…don’t.”

“Al…”

“No, really. Don’t.” Her features were so pale, and there was no mistaking the thin, determined line of her mouth. “I care about you so much,” she told him. “I
want
to be in your arms. But I just can’t let you get involved in my life right now. There’s so much the baby needs from me. So many things that have to be decided if Jeffrey doesn’t come back.” A moment passed. “Or if he does.”

At the mention of her lover’s name, Zack felt all his thoughts solidify into one hard, black mass. “Are you telling me you still want him?”

“That’s not the point,” she said. She put her hands out, almost beseechingly. “I’m telling you that when you touch me, I can’t keep my balance. All my best intentions go right out the window. But it’s not fair to either of us.” He caught a glimmer of tears in her eyes, shining under the moon. “Please tell me you understand.”

“I do,” he said quietly.

She drew a deep, shaky breath. “Good. Now I suppose we have to figure out how we can fix this.”

“No. We don’t.”

She tilted her head at him. “I thought you said—”

“You’re absolutely right, Al. We don’t seem to have any common sense when we’re around one another. I’ve wanted you for so long, and I still want you. Most of the time I don’t give a damn about agreements and what’s best for either of us. I just want to make love to you. I’d do it right now, right here in the moonlight, and screw the consequences. But I know that wouldn’t make either of us happy.”

“Zack, I’m sorry—”

“Let me finish. What I’m telling you is that I don’t
want to go on this way. I can’t. So I’m going to try to wrap up things here. Hopefully I’ll need no more than a couple of days. Then I’m returning to Miami.”

“Oh,” she said in a small voice. She straightened, and he knew that he’d caught her off guard. “What about the deliveries you’ve scheduled, and the tile work you want to do in the bathrooms? I haven’t finished the dining room or kitchen yet.”

“You can stay to finish up and receive any shipments. I’ll contract the work out to someone in the area. It will cost more than doing it myself, but…”

“It will be worth the extra money just to keep from being around me?”

“Yes.”

As though the cool night air had finally gotten to her, she crossed her arms over her chest. “You don’t have to do this. I’ll leave in the morning.”

He heard the practical, unemotional tone of her voice and thought how warm and eager she could sound when she was in his arms, whispering his name in his ear an instant before he kissed her.

Dumb mistake, Davidson. Stay focused.

“No,” he told her firmly. “There’s no reason for you to leave. I hired you to do a job. I like what you’ve done, and I want to see it finished. Besides, if you can’t stand the idea of going home, and Jeffrey doesn’t ever come back, this is the best place for you to be while you’re pregnant, and you know it. I just can’t be here with you.”

She nodded slowly, as though road-testing his words.

“I have to get back to my real life in Miami,” he added when she said nothing. “It’s time I stopped playing house up here with you. All right?”

He barely heard her muffled agreement.

“Good. Then let’s turn in. We have a lot to do tomorrow.”

He headed back to the cottage and she fell into step beside him. Neither of them said a thing. They crunched through the fallen autumn leaves that littered the path. Together, and yet as far apart as if they’d been on separate planets.

T
HE NEXT MORNING
they drove into town, polite but silent, each absorbed in their own thoughts. Zack dropped Alaina off at Heather’s antique shop, while he went in search of a local contractor looking for work. They agreed to meet back at the square in an hour.

As Alaina watched Zack pull away from the curb, she wondered if he was as tired as he appeared, if he had slept as poorly as she had last night.

She’d tried to lull herself to sleep by reciting today’s to-do list in her head. She’d counted the dollops of moonlight that filtered through the lace curtains of her bedroom window. She’d even tried to regulate her breathing, controlling the rise and fall of her breasts, until her heart rate settled. But that only brought images of Zack, who could shred her breath like silk as he ran his hands along her body.

In the end, she just couldn’t sleep. In forty-eight hours, perhaps less, she would see the last of him. Maybe forever.

It seemed impossible to believe. Now that he had come back into her life, how could she let him slip out again? She was still asking herself that question when the sun finally came up.

You have to let him go. You can’t mess with his life when your own is still so out of whack.

The knowledge that she had no choice made her breathing hitch. Before she could give in to self-pity, she turned and went into Memory Keepers.

The place was charming and bright and crowded with stuff. She’d already figured out that Heather had a keen eye for antiques, but could be a little disorganized. The practical, creative side of Alaina itched to get behind some of the displays and do some rearranging.

Heather looked up as the bell over the door rang. When she saw it was Alaina, a welcoming smile lit her features. “Hi! I wondered if you’d come in today. I think I have just the thing for that spot on the sideboard.”

From the back room, Heather brought out a pretty, flowered plate server that would beautifully pick up the sunny colors of the dining room. It was old, but not an antique, and Alaina liked it immediately.

“Perfect,” she declared. “Can I take it with me?”

“I’ll get a box.”

While Heather disappeared into a stockroom, Alaina wandered around the shop. So many treasures salvaged from so many lives. Crystal and pewter. Clocks, silver, mechanical banks and a child’s rocking horse. It must be wonderful to find new, appreciative homes for these things.

She stopped in front of a tray of jewelry, a haphazard gathering of brooches and bracelets and earrings. The gemstones were only semiprecious, but they might as well have been paste for all the attention they’d been given.

As Heather began packing up the plate server, Alaina turned to her. She pointed down at the tray. “There are
some pretty things here. Do you mind if I rearrange them a bit to give them a little more pizzazz?”

“Have at it,” her friend said as she stuffed a box with foam peanuts.

Carefully, Alaina swept up the jewelry and set it aside. After glancing around, she slipped a black velvet shawl from a nearby rack and draped it over the tray. Then she began grouping the jewelry on the velvet—a fan of ivory combs; a trio of fancy jet brooches; peridot, garnet and topaz rings in arches of color like fireworks.

Heather came over as Alaina finished. “Why didn’t I think of that?” she said admiringly. “I wish I had that kind of talent.”

“You just haven’t had time to think about how they should be displayed.”

“Ha! I might have a knack for spotting great antiques, but I’m hopeless when it comes to knowing how to attract a buyer.”

Alaina was pleased with her handiwork. “I’d be happy to come by sometime and give you a few pointers about display and showcasing merchandise.”

“I’d love that. But when are you going to have time? Doesn’t Zack still have you slaving away up at Heron Cove?”

Alaina sighed and lowered her eyes. It was depressing to think about how soon all that would change. “We should be finished soon.” She lifted her face to Heather. “In fact…is that job you offered me awhile back still available? I might decide to stay in Lake Harmony, and I’d need something.”

Heather gave her a close look. “Seriously? I thought maybe you and Zack…”

“No.” The word came out sharper than she intended.

“Well then, yes. I’m still looking for someone. Someone who can do more than ring a register and who doesn’t think antique means anything before iPods. I’d love to have you here, though I can’t pay very much,” she said with a grimace. Then she brightened a little. “But on the plus side, my father has a spare room at his house he used to rent out. He’d probably love the company, and you and the baby couldn’t be safer than living with the town sheriff. It might work, don’t you think?”

W
HEN
A
LAINA LEFT THE SHOP
ten minutes later, she headed for the square. She was way too early to meet Zack, but she didn’t mind. She could use the extra time to think about Heather’s suggestion.

Working at Memory Keepers would be interesting and satisfying. Heather would probably make a great boss. Even the idea of living with Sheriff Moran had possibilities. These were nice people, and Lake Harmony was the kind of town you could fall in love with. The sort of place you could raise a child by yourself if you had to.

And you may have to.

The idea scared her almost as much as it depressed her. She wished she could talk to Zack about all this. The future. What she should do about it. But she knew he didn’t really want to talk about Jeffrey, and she’d already burdened him with enough of her problems. If she had to talk to someone about things, he wasn’t the one. Once you took overwhelming sexual attraction out of the equation, he’d probably had enough of her to last a lifetime. So, no. Not Zack.

She passed a pay phone, one of the few she’d seen since cell phones had become so common. She stopped and came back to it.

Almost before she knew it she was dialing, and when the call went through and Maggie answered, Alaina had to stop a moment and catch her breath before she could speak.

“Hello?” Maggie said a second time.

“Maggie, it’s me.”

“Alaina!” her sister exclaimed. Then she added quickly, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Why do you think anything’s wrong?”

“Well, for one thing, you sound out of breath, and for another, you haven’t phoned since you gave us the news about being pregnant. Has something happened? Is the baby all right?”

“I’m fine. So’s the baby. I just…wanted to talk to you. I miss you.”

“Oh, honey, I miss you, too.”

A lump formed in Alaina’s throat. For so long she and Maggie had not been close. Maggie had been busy in Key West, turning her aquarium design company into a real business. And since she and their parents hadn’t really gotten along, there had been few trips back to Miami to catch up on old times. Alaina, of course, had been occupied in making Gil happy. But in the past few years they’d finally made their peace with one another, and she missed her.

“Are you all right?” Alaina asked. “How are Will and the kids?”

“We’re all fine. Mom and Dad are driving me nuts. All your fault, of course.”

“How’s that?”

“They ask me every day if I shouldn’t drive up there and try to talk you into coming home. I’m holding them off the best I can, but you know them. Mom’s already started knitting booties, and Dad—you won’t believe it. He’s jotting down every name he comes across that he thinks you might want to consider for the baby.”

“That’s kind of sweet.”

“You think so? Right now he’s rereading
Hamlet.
How do you feel about Polonius?”

Alaina laughed, and it felt so good. Her sister could always make her feel better. “Oh, Maggie,” she said with a shaky breath. “What the hell have I done?”

“You mean you still don’t know how it happened? After all those pointers I gave you when we were teenagers?”

“Not that. I mean, what have I done to my life? It’s so screwed up.”

“Hey, what happened to the woman who was so excited about becoming a mommy? Your life isn’t screwed up. Not really. It’s just different now from all those years with Gil. If you ask me, you stopped being bored and subservient and afraid, and gave your life a good shake.”

Clutching the receiver, Alaina leaned her head against the glass. She felt very weary. “I didn’t give it a good shake. I put it in a blender. Now it’s just…mush.”

“Oh dear. We’re having a bad day, aren’t we?”

“No. Yes. It’s just hormones or something. Don’t pregnant women cry a lot for no reason?”

“
Are
you crying?”

“No,” she said, her eyes filling even as she said it, and then she
was
crying. Big gulping sobs that made her feel
foolish and confused. She hunched closer to the phone, cupping her hand over the receiver.

Maggie waited until Alaina’s sobs finally tapered off to a few sniffs of misery, then said in a calm, firm voice, “Alaina, do you want me to come up there?”

She had to swallow, hard, to keep her voice steady. “No. Everything’s fine. Everything’s swell. Except…except…I’m losing Zack.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Where did you lose him?”

“He’s going back to Miami in a couple of days. I’m staying to finish up the inside of the cottage, and then I’m not sure what I’m going to do. But the thing is, he’ll be gone, and I might never see him again.”