Best Friends Forever (13 page)

Mall Rats

Miranda

One

These rumors are getting out of control. The ones about me, unfortunately, are one hundred percent true, but that doesn’t mean I’m fessing up. Who I was in high school is not who I am now. I’ve managed to stay away from most guys, especially the player types, like Roman and Nolan. I think Andre is interested, but if I’m going to choose someone to be with, I definitely want Audric.

With his long, dark hair that falls in his gorgeous sea-blue eyes, his perfect smile, and genuine personality, I feel like he’s the least fake person on campus. Especially since the rumors about me started.

The flyers that went out with a reprint of my high school newspaper article was devastating, and I can’t imagine who would hate me enough to do such a thing, but that was just the beginning. I can’t escape the constant stream of lewd comments about getting around or the innuendoes that guys snicker whenever I walk nearby. I was even offered a gangbang earlier this morning.

Amidst all the drama and rumors, poor Nolan has been dealing with a lot of crap, too. Of course, I know he’s a player, so I’ve mostly stayed away from him, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. He’s a part of our group, and his dedication to Destiny makes me like him more. At least he’s faithful.

It started with him passing out at football practice over the weekend. He was rushed to the hospital and Destiny texted everyone. As much as I wanted to wallow in my own self-pity over the news release of my high school slut days, I knew I needed to be there for Des. She and I aren’t that close, but we’re all part of the group, so I went to support the two of them.

He looked really sick when we went into his room. When his doctor and the football coach kicked us all out, I felt like everything might turn out okay. Then, that night, the text message came in. It was from a local number, but no one knew who it was. I saved the number as Royal Bitch in my phone so I always know who it is. Because really, isn’t that what this person is? He or she is just trying to get a rise out of people. It’s working, though I’m trying to keep it together.

The text about Nolan was really mean, and according to Destiny, it’s a lie.

Ever wonder what other football players are up to, besides Roman? Well hold on to your hats, ladies. Nolan James, the fastest running back on the team, isn’t as honest as he seems. With his football career on the line, he’s risked everything by having a sex tape, with not one but two girls at once. The video has been released here. LINK

The link was to a porn site, and, clearly, it’s Nolan and two girls I don’t recognize. They’re both blondes, though, and I secretly wonder if one of them is Des. You can’t see either of their faces in the video. It’s so sad.

At least he’s going to be okay, though. Cheyanne drove Destiny and I back from the hospital, and Des is a mess. She cried the whole way, and begged us to let her go back to the hospital. I can only imagine how upsetting it is, to be that worried about a boyfriend. Their relationship is one I find myself being just a tad jealous of. They are so cute together, and seeing them in his hospital room together felt like we were all invading their privacy.

Hazel, I noticed earlier, was nowhere to be found. She avoided the hospital like a plague and the more I see her behavior, the more I wonder whether or not she’s got a crush on Nolan. The way she looks at him, with wonder and amazement in her eyes… It’s got me curious. The rumors about her made me laugh, though.

Hazel sleeping with Andre is just too bad, though, because I really liked him. I mean, only as a friend, but I lost all respect for him when I read the message. Whoever this person is who’s slowly making their way through our group with rumors and lies is definitely bent on destroying us.

I may not know who it is, but until the info about Hazel was sent out, I really thought it was her. I mean, whoever it is knows a lot about us, all our dirty little secrets. My hope is that once the rounds are made, this person backs off or moves to another group, because I, for one, have a lot more secrets, and I don’t want them coming out. Being a high school slut is one thing, but if these people knew the rest, they would likely never speak to me again.

It’s Sunday, a usually relaxing day for students, but everyone is buzzing over the rumors. I make my way to Cheyanne’s building to see how she’s doing. With so many secrets coming out back to back, I know no one has really processed the news of her son, Deacon. She didn’t even tell me, which was hard to take, but I understand. She doesn’t want to be judged because of her son. And not only does everyone know, but now they know that she and Roman could easily lose custody of the toddler.

I knock on Chey’s door, but there’s no answer. I put my hand on the knob, just to check, and it turns easily. I push the door open and find Cheyanne laying in bed. She’s not alone, though I can’t see who is with her. I cough to hide my laughter. Looks like she’s dealing with the news very well.

Cheyanne’s eyes fly to mine and I start to back out of the room, slowly closing the door. When the second person in her bed pops his head up from underneath the covers, I freeze. I stare at Audric with an intensity I’ve never known before. I feel like him sleeping with her is such a betrayal, even though it’s not. Audric and I have never even gone out on a date, let alone admitted feelings for one another. I know he was also interested in Cheyanne, but I never thought he would do this.

I slam the door and race down the hallway. When I round the corner, I trip on a jagged piece of tile and tumble, headfirst into a strong pair of arms. I look up and notice Roman’s ridiculous baby blues. He might be a player, but he’s still hot.

“Fuck me,” I tell him.

“Umm, what!?” He pushes me away from him a little, but I strain against his hold.

I just want to forget. “Sleep with me. It doesn’t have to mean anything. I just need to get laid.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

He lets me go and I lunge at him, my arms going around his neck. “Please!” I press kisses to his jaw and eventually, his mouth. At first, he doesn’t respond, but when his mouth opens and his tongue seeks entrance between my lips, I open to him. He deepens the kiss by tilting my head back and pulling me fully against him. When he pulls away a few seconds later, I feel empty.

“Fuck.” He backs away, running a hand through his hair. “What the fuck was that?”

I hang my head in shame. “I’m sorry,” I say and then move to go around him. Just as I pass his dorm room, I feel a hand on my arm and Roman is dragging me into his room.

He shoves me on the bed and releases his erection from his jeans. I can feel myself getting wet at the sight of him. It’s been so long since I sucked a dick, I’m salivating at the opportunity. I may want him to fuck me, but I’ll settle for this. For now.

I engulf him in my mouth, making sure to apply just a little bit of pressure at the tip. He groans, thrusting his hips at me. I take him deeper, relaxing my throat, a trick I learned long ago. His breathing is ragged and when he stiffens, I swallow his cum, grateful to be used this way. In high school, I never truly understood my need to be used, and sometimes, abused. I like to be spanked, tied up, and pretty much anything else a guy wants to do to me. I even slept with a girl when I was dared at a party to do so.

I pull away from him, licking the tip and my lips at the same time.

“Damn, girl. You’ve got a lot of pent-up aggression. I’ve never come that fast in my life,” Roman boasts, and knowing, as I do, how many girls he’s been with, I’m sure that’s true.

I feel relaxed, relieved, and rejuvenated. “Anytime you need more of that, just give me a call,” I say seductively.

Two

I leave Roman’s room without another word, and as soon as I close the door, shame washes over me. Again.

I spent a lot of years feeling this way, and I vowed not to do it in college, but here I am, giving some guy a blowjob in his room when we’ve hardly ever spoken. I run out of the building, afraid if anyone sees me, they’ll know exactly what I just did. I don’t stop, either. I keep right on running until I’m at the football field.

I scoot into the small opening beneath the bleachers and drop to the ground, wrapping my arms around my knees and letting go. The tears start and it’s like I can’t stop. I sob, almost uncontrollably as the emotions hit me.

I’ve turned back into the stupid girl I once was. I’ve returned to my foolish ways. It doesn’t matter that I watched my mother sleep with man after man, looking for love and never finding it… I am caught up in the same trap as she was. I just want to be loved, for someone, anyone, to love me for the real me, and not because of the sexual favors I can provide. I can’t help my insecurities, though… They’ve been ingrained in me for as long as I can remember.

The eighth grade dance – Jake Martin asked me almost a month ago to go with him. Thinking I would never get anyone better than him, I accepted and promptly went to my mother, to ask her to buy me a dress for my very first formal.

“Mom, I got asked to the dance!” I was giddy with excitement.

She sighed. “There’s no money in the budget for a new dress, Miranda. But if you want to look at the thrift store, we can spare about fifty dollars.”

It wasn’t much, but I knew I could put together an outfit for the dance with that budget. We spent all weekend looking for the right dress and accessories, and by Sunday night, I had a dress, shoes, cheap jewelry, and even brand-new pantyhose, all for under forty bucks. Mom was so impressed, she asked me if I wanted to buy some hair dye or a lightening kit for highlights.

Mom sat me down last week and reminded me of our sex talk, which I moaned and groaned through. As much as I got the reasoning behind her lecture, I really didn’t think I would ever use it.

The big night arrived and Jake and his mom picked me up. We took pictures in front of my mother’s chrysanthemums and then we left. The dance itself was boring and typical, but it was what happened later that shook my whole world.

I close my eyes to shut out the memory. I don’t want to remember that night. It was the night I turned into a crazy girl, always seeking attention but never letting anyone close. That night forever changed my life, and I hate that I am turning back into the girl I was in high school.

As much as I know that girl is a part of who I am, I also know that I have to keep any news about myself out of the public eye. Which means I can do what I want, I just have to be discrete.

Three

It’s late on Sunday night when I run in to Audric just outside of the lounge. I stop when I see him, nearly petrified by what he’s going to say, knowing he’ll want to explain what I walked in on this morning but also realizing I don’t really want to know.

“Miranda! We need to talk,” he starts as he walks with me on the sidewalk.

Instead of answering him, I turn toward the walking trail and he keeps pace with me.

“Whatever it is you think you walked in on this morning, it wasn’t. Cheyanne and I aren’t together. We were studying last night and I guess we just fell asleep on her bed. Hazel never came in to the dorm, so we didn’t wake up until you walked in this morning. You know it’s true, too. I mean, the door was unlocked, and you know how Cheyanne is about locking her door at night.”

“I get it. She’s gorgeous and lovable, and I’m… just me. I don’t blame you for wanting to get with her,” I say as casually as I can. I tuck my hair behind my ears and keep my gaze focused on the grass instead of looking at him.

He stops, putting a hand on my arm to stop me and waits for me to look at him. When I do, all I see is sadness. “There’s nothing between us. Her life is far too complicated and messy for me to be a part of. And she’s made it perfectly clear she doesn’t like me that way.”

As much as I want to rejoice, the way he says it catches my attention. “But you like her that way?”

He sighs. “I’m not sure. I mean, she’s great, but it just wasn’t meant to be, you know?” He starts walking again and I take a few rushed steps to catch up.

“I don’t understand,” I admit, still reeling.

“She doesn’t want to be with anyone, and as much as I do like her, I just don’t know if I could handle the whole situation right now. Especially since the whole school knows about Deacon now. And they know about Roman’s plans, too. I can’t believe someone is leaking all these secrets about us. Do you know who it is?”

“I wish. At first, I thought it was Hazel, but then when everything about her and Andre came out… I have no idea who it is. Do you think there will be more rumors?” I choose my words carefully, implying that they are, in fact, rumors.

“Well, if I had to guess, whoever it is, is making his or her way through our group, so I think this is only the beginning. Someone hates us, apparently, but they are close enough to know about the intimate details of our lives. And they aren’t necessarily rumors. Hazel did sleep with Andre. And Cheyanne and Roman are going to go to court over their son’s custody and guardianship. And Nolan… I’m pretty sure he’s the kind of guy to do something like that, too.”

“What about me? Do you think what was sent out about me is true, too?” As afraid as I am to ask, I know that this moment will be a turning point in our friendship.

“I’m not sure, but it doesn’t matter to me. If it’s true, you aren’t the same person you were in high school, obviously. I mean, it’s the third week of classes and you haven’t been on a date with anyone, or hooked up, right?”

With a ragged breath, I lie. “No, of course not.”

“Exactly,” he says with a smile. His teeth are straight, his smile near perfect.

Does he even realize how much I want to be with him? Probably not. Such is my life, I suppose.

“I’ve got to get back to the dorms. But hey, I wanted to ask you…”

I turn to him and notice he’s fidgeting. “Yes?”

“Do you want to go grab a pizza tomorrow night? You know, like a date?”

My fear dissipates. “I’d like that.”

“Great. I’ll meet you at your dorm room around six?”

“Sounds great. I’ll see you then,” I agree.

I watch him walk away in awe. Just when I thought he was into Cheyanne, the truth comes out that he likes me. Me. What a strange world. I feel bad that I lied to him, but I don’t want to dwell on that. He’s into me and that is all that matters.

As soon as he’s out of sight, I start my run. I wasn’t much of a runner in high school, probably because I got so much of my pent-up aggression out during my sexcapades, but since I went sex free, I have found that I need the outlet. I start at a jog and gradually build up speed. Even though I released some of my tension earlier with Roman, I still haven’t had a climax myself in quite some time.

It’s been at least four months since I had sex, which, for me, is a record. Before that, the most I ever went between partners was a week, if that. Sometimes I even slept with different guys on the same day. It’s a little hazy, but I also think there was a time or two when I participated in a threesome. I was far too wasted to remember, though, and for that, I’m grateful. Sex was a huge part of my life back then. And now…

Now I’m not so much of a fiend, which is a good thing. But I still have urges, as I proved to myself this morning. If Audric was smart, maybe he would stay the hell away from me.