Bet on Me (17 page)

“First, what did he tell you?”

“He said he was looking to help you because you were in trouble with some kind of gang and they are now hunting you to make you pay for something. Who is he if not Levi?” I had an inkling, but I wanted him to confirm it verbally. His slumped posture and weary face weren’t enough.

“His name is Drake Ryder. He’s the one who’s searching for me.” He paused and hung his head in his hands. “This is all so fucked up.”

I left him for a minute, thinking he’d come round and explain some more. When he didn’t, I pushed for answers. “I’m going to need a little more detail, Cole. What did you do? Why are they coming after you? How does any of this involve me?”

“I know, I know. Before I do and send you running please know I’m sorry. I never meant for you to get swept up in any of this. I was selfish to come and look for you, but I needed you. You awoke something within me, Alaya. Around you I feel like I have a life … you make me want to fight. I couldn’t stay away no matter how wrong it is. I left to protect you, and even then you were too hard to resist. It’s why I’m here. I never meant for things to turn out the way they did in France. Everything just caught up with me.”

“Will you spill it already? I’ve told you numerous times I’m not scared of you, and I’m not going to run.”

“You will, I know it.”

Rolling my eyes, I folded my arms across my chest. “How much are you willing to bet on it?”

His head flew up like someone pulled on an invisible cord fast enough to give him whiplash. His eyes bulged. Whether it was out of fear or shock I couldn’t be sure.

He shook his head. “I’m not doing this with you, Alaya … not on this. If you want to run then I’m not going to take anything off you for doing so.”

“What about my forgiveness?”

“Huh?”

“You want my forgiveness, right? For me not to hold what happened in France over you?”

“It would be nice, but you shouldn’t—”

“Then I bet you my forgiveness. You choose whether I run or stay, and if you’re right you’ve got it.”

He didn’t respond straight away. His fingers tugged at the roots of his hair, tightening the skin on his forehead as he considered my offer.

“What’s it going to be? Are you going to bet for or against me?” I didn’t know what made me fight for him—probably the powerful desire to prove him wrong and show him he hadn’t needed to leave. I wanted to punish him and draw him into my arms all at the same time.

“I bet you’re going to run. You’d be mad not to.” The words I knew he would speak spilled from his mouth in a rush. Knowing they were coming did nothing to ease the stabbing pain in my chest. I wanted him to bet on me to stay. After all, I’d remained with him so far.

“You’d better start explaining then so you can figure out whether or not you’re right.”

He took a deep breath, puffing out his cheeks and holding it for a second before exhaling loudly. “Seven years ago I was the only survivor of a car crash. I lost my brother, Aaron, and a friend.”

I whipped my hand to cover my mouth and stifle the gasp. “Cole, I’m so—”

“Don’t.” He held up a hand to silence me. “Don’t say you’re sorry. It was our own fault.” He laughed bitterly. “I guess that’s an easy thing to say when you’re the one to walk away. They paid the ultimate price and I get to lay the blame.”

“Why was it your own fault, Cole?” I pressed, trying to pull him back on track.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Cole

“Why was it your own fault, Cole?” she asked, and the question had so many answers I didn’t even know where to begin. Every one of them would send her running as well. If there had been a way I could have kept her from knowing the truth I would have.

 “When I was seventeen I joined a local gang run by a guy named Giles Crowley. My brother had been involved for a year before me and he wasn’t coping well. We were close. Our parents abandoned us when I was four, and growing up in care I always felt it was my job to protect him. I joined to shoulder his responsibilities.”

“You grew up in care?” Alaya interrupted, and I peered up at her through my eyelashes, shrugged, then returned my gaze to my hands. I got over what my parents did a long time ago. It took years, but I’d dealt with it in my own way so now I could talk about it with no bitterness.

“My parents just decided they no longer wanted us one day. They couldn’t cope.”

“That’s terrible, Cole. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

Her expression held the pity she didn’t voice like everyone else when they found out about my past. I fully expected her to question me further on it; I should have known better.

“So you joined Crowley’s gang to protect your brother. Then what?”

“Crowley’s main source of income comes from drugs. However, he also dabbles in other illegal activity. Underground fights and street races are set up to gamble on, and he’s also the guy people go to for fake documents. He hardly ever gets his hands dirty, though. Everything is done through people like me. We store and deal the drugs, collect the payments, fight and race for him … whatever he wants he gets. If people are late with his money or refuse to pay it’s up to us to retrieve it through any means necessary.”

I kept my eyes on my fists linked together on my lap to avoid Alaya’s gaze as I admitted to all of the things I had done.

“My brother thought he was tough, but he wasn’t. Aaron was one of those kids who acted like a gangster, then when it came down to it he couldn’t deal with the reality of being tied to Crowley. That’s when I joined. They asked Aaron predominantly to collect late payments and most of the time they involved some kind of beating. Aaron couldn’t do it so I stepped in and did the jobs for him. I broke bones and caused tremendous amounts of pain to people. Hell, I made grown men cry and whimper all to save my brother.”

Sighing, I clenched and unclenched my fists, my nails digging into my skin. The pain felt good. Like it was a mild form of punishment for all of the sick things I’d done.

“For a few months we got away with it. However, it came to Crowley’s attention eventually and the long and the short of it is I impressed him. It became impossible for either of us to leave and I got sucked into the street racing as well as other sections of his twisted operation. Street racing is what I excelled at, though, and when Crowley saw this I managed to get out of the more violent and drug related crimes … my brother too, since he was my co-driver.

“Anyway, at our last race I allowed Ben, my mate, to be co-driver. Aaron sat in the back of the car and I’ll spare you the gory details, but we took a corner too fast. Our car rolled and the passenger’s side was crushed. Ben and Aaron died instantly from the impact.”

I gulped, forcing myself to swallow back the bile in my throat. My mind filled with images of their bodies hanging upside down in the car. The only things that had supported them were their seatbelts as I watched them bleed out. It was a lie that they both died immediately, but Alaya didn’t need to know the truth. Aaron died before the car even stopped rolling, for which I was thankful. Ben didn’t. I’d watched as he fought for every breath. Blood had run down his face from a laceration in his neck so he appeared unrecognisable, and there hadn’t been a fucking thing I could have done to save him.

He’d been staring directly at me when the life flickered from his eyes. Almost as if he had been begging me to help.

I’d been too shocked to move. I hung there gawking back at him, not even sure how bad my own injuries were.

I didn’t even try to save him.

Alaya’s hand found mine, her soft, warm touch drawing me from the memory. Her thumb caressed the back of my palm as if she could sense my struggles.

Forcing back the guilt and torment, I continued. “The emergency services got to me before the car went up in flames, and once they stabilised my condition there were endless questions from the cops. Of course Crowley sent someone to threaten me while I recovered in hospital. He had this policy that if you got caught you took the fall and mentioned nothing about him and his organisation. If you did you were a dead man.”

I gazed up at the ceiling. For a split second I doubted whether I should tell her anything or whether my words would put her in even more danger. When she squeezed my hand I brushed the worry aside.

“The police aren’t stupid. They know all about Crowley and have been trying to catch him for years. The problem is there’s nothing to tie him to the crimes committed so they offered me a deal: information for a lesser charge. I still don’t know how Levi got the Assistant Commissioner to slap me with a large fine instead of jail time, but he did and really, what did I have to lose? I joined to protect my brother and he died … at my hands. I was furious, guilt-ridden, and I wanted to make sure Crowley got what he deserved.” That was putting it mildly. If I hadn’t been so badly injured I would have killed him myself, only Levi talked me down from that ledge. He swore he’d catch him and since then devoted his life to fulfilling his promise.

“So you took the deal?” Alaya’s voice startled me from my thoughts. When I met her gaze she dipped her head in sadness, but she’d yet to pull her hand from mine. I hadn’t even realised I gripped on to her so tightly.

I gave her a curt nod. “In return for making it look like I died in the hospital, and the fine, I gave the police as much information as I could on the workings of his operations. When they finally raided his property they only found enough to tie him to fraud, though. There should have been stacks of cocaine, but the search came up empty. Rather than life imprisonment, Crowley received ten years and got out within seven for good behaviour. He was released while I was in France, like I told you.”

“That’s why you said you watched your own funeral?” She softened her voice, the way someone would talk to a wounded animal.

“I didn’t go for me. We had a joint funeral and I went for Aaron. Even though it was dangerous, I couldn’t let Levi be the only one to show up. Aaron’s coffin wasn’t empty like mine and he deserved to hear my apology, even if I could only watch and whisper from a distance.”

Alaya squeezed my hand and I inhaled deeply. The guilt and loss became easier to deal with over the years, yet I doubted it would ever vanish completely. I didn’t think I really wanted it to. It tied me to Aaron when I missed him.

I lowered my head, hunching over my lap.

Everything I’d done seemed like a waste of time now. It all backfired or failed.

My brother died.

I did things under Crowley’s orders that made me hate myself.

I couldn’t get him locked up for life.

His operations still ran.

I lost my identity.

And I couldn’t even stay dead properly.

“Did they see you there? Is that how they know you didn’t really die?”

“No, for seven years they believed the lie and it’s ironic really how they found out,” I grunted. “Someone stole my old credit cards, one of which Crowley issued me. I kept hold of them because they were the last links to my old identity and I was being sentimental. So when the thief tried to use them to buy something Crowley saw and knew I was still out here.”

“Wait, your old identity?”

“The police gave me a new name. My birth name is Cole Arnold and they changed it to Ashford.” I fully expected her to chew me out over this point. However, she only gestured for me to continue. As I explained what happened during our meal, why I left France so suddenly, and how Ryder was following her I could see the pieces connecting in her mind, like everything finally made sense. What surprised me was none of the emotions passing over her face were disgust or fear.

“What I can’t figure out is how you got dragged into this. Levi was tailing Ryder—Crowley’s right hand man—since he left England. He couldn’t have known about you.”

“I don’t think he meant to find me, it was all one big coincidence. He said he was checking all of the hotels in the area and he caught me while I was still pissed at you. When he asked if I knew you, I couldn’t help giving him slightly more information than necessary. He also saw the flowers.”

My heart recalled all of the blood in my veins to leave icy trails within me. If Ryder had seen the flowers, he’d seen the note, which meant I had been responsible for tipping him off. France had been a dead end until my note gave him the idea that following Alaya would eventually lead him to me.

“Fuck. I’m so sorry, Alaya,” I whispered, not peering up from my hands. It was bad enough I couldn’t save my brother, but for me to bring Alaya into everything cut deep. I should have left and not looked back. Forgetting her would have been for the best. She was my light and I didn’t want her tarnished by my darkness, or hurt because of my mistakes. Yet I hadn’t been able to leave.

She didn’t deserve any of it.

When she didn’t respond I chanced a glance up. Gazing through my lashes, I watched her studying me. Her eyes held no anger or bitterness. Instead, her features remained soft as she stood.

Within two strides, she nestled herself between my legs and even with her lack of height, I had to crane my neck back to meet her gaze.

One of her hands found my jaw and I leaned into her touch instinctively. I wanted to remember every sensation as she brushed against my stubble, knowing it would most likely be the last time she touched me. She tilted my head and kept a hold of my face so I couldn’t avoid her stare.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Her mouth dipped lower, closing the gap between us. Even with all of the pain circling in my chest my body still reacted to her. My focus remained fixed on the small gap between her lips and the feeling of her touch. It melted everything else inside of me and washed it away so that only she filled my mind.

I blinked slowly, allowing my eyes to drift shut for a second. The scent of her citrus body lotion engulfed me, and a second later her mouth met mine. I circled her hips with my arms, pulling her into me while she kissed me tenderly. She nipped at my bottom lip and I held back a groan of pleasure.