Authors: Mia Hoddell
Once again, the area thrived with history. It looked ancient with its stone houses that had steps leading off in every direction to form a maze. Like a medieval village, it transported me back in time so much I almost expected to find knights in shining armour walking around. A few of the buildings had some types of crawling plants and vines covering part of the stonework, and the old wooden doors finished off the quaint atmosphere.
Hand-painted, wooden signs hung halfway up the buildings, sky blue the most common colour among them all. With my limited French I had no way of translating the writing. However, gazing through the window gave me a good indication of what lay inside them.
As I moved further into the maze the smell of fresh bread wafted in the air. Like a cartoon character following a scent trail with their nose, I found myself drawn in the direction of a bakery.
“
Bonjour
,” I said, smiling at the man behind the counter. If I were to guess, I would’ve placed him in his late thirties. His face was rounded, and his gentle eyes were partly obscured by his thick rimmed glasses. Wisps of jet black hair peeked out from under his white newsboy hat, and he wore something that resembled chef whites.
He smiled at me and I pointed at the pain au chocolat behind the glass barrier. “Uh …
deux?
” Yep, that was all I knew, and I held up my fingers in case I somehow got it wrong.
The man nodded and bagged up two of the pastries. My mouth watered at the thought of taking a bite, and pulling out my purse I paid then took the food he handed over. No matter how much I wanted to eat them straight away I refrained. I placed them into my bag and exited the shop with a small wave. Normally, I would have finished at least one by now, yet the shop across the street caught my attention.
When it came to shiny objects I was like a magpie, so the vast array of stone animal carvings were like a light to a moth for me. On the shady side of the street the window display was illuminated by small bulbs, the light catching on the polished surfaces.
I stepped into the store in awe, marvelling at the detail on the animals. As I did, movement behind the counter caught my attention. An elderly woman stepped out from behind the beaded curtain, her glasses resting on the edge of her nose and her grey hair tied in a messy bun on top of her head.
“
Bonjour
.”
“
Bonjour
. Uh …
Parlez-vous anglais?
” I asked, knowing I wouldn’t be able to hold any kind of conversation with the woman in French.
“
Oui. Je parle anglais
.” She nodded her head, smiling.
“These are beautiful. Did you make them?” I pointed at the sculptures. My eyes kept being drawn to the obsidian elephant with its mottled colours ranging from almost clear near the trunk to yellow under the belly and moving towards pinks and purples at the feet.
“
Oui
. They’re guardians—to protect. Each symbolise characteristics.”
“What do they mean?”
She listed off some of the more well-known animals and their qualities and I nodded along. When she got to the more unique animals I listened with interest.
She held up a yazilind creature for me to inspect. “Otter. Means laughter, mischief, curiosity.”
Smiling, I handed it back to her and she instantly replaced it with an onyx deer. “Good intuition. They have strong survival instincts on whether they need to flee.”
Her words sent a stab of pain through my chest and I barely managed to hold back the strangled gasp. They sent my thoughts sailing straight back to Cole. The animal summed him up perfectly. He’d chosen to flee, his survival instincts kicking in to make him. I knew he left because of whatever he’d been told during his phone call, but it didn’t make it any easier to accept.
I kicked myself mentally.
I shouldn’t have cared.
Every thought and memory of his existence needed to be forgotten, only that proved I did care … too much.
I brushed off the thought, refusing to pine after someone I hardly knew. He made the choice to leave and I couldn’t allow his decisions to control me. It was the whole reason behind my no guys rule. I came so close to breaking it, but I would bounce back.
Refocusing my attention on the woman, she held up her finger in the universal gesture of one minute and disappeared back behind the beaded curtain. Seconds later she reappeared with another piece in her hand. She held her hand out over the counter, gesturing for me to take the stone.
Gently, she placed it into my palm. I glanced down to see a jade dragonfly, its body made from gold that held all of the stones together. Gingerly, I picked it up and admired it from every angle.
“It symbolises living in the moment, change … self-realization.” She pointed at me. “You.”
I gasped. This woman managed to pin me down to the exact insect that represented what I was doing within a matter of moments without me saying anything. Her ability proved impressive and unnerving.
“How much?”
“Sixty euro.” It put a bigger dent in my funds than I liked, yet I had to have it.
I drew my purse out of my bag and extracted the right amount of notes. I’d specifically packed money for paragliding, a gut feeling telling me I would need it when coming to a small village. Handing the money and pendant back to the woman, she once again disappeared behind the beaded curtain. After a few minutes, she returned with the dragonfly on a key ring. She wrapped it in a bag and held it out to me.
“
Merci. Au revoir
.”
“
Bonne journée
… have a nice day,” she replied as I left the shop to spend the rest of my time on the beach with my eReader.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Cole
I couldn’t keep my gaze from drifting skyward through the window of the train. Every now and then the odd cloud drifted in and out of view, but apart from that the sky remained clear of any obstacles. It kept pulling my thoughts back to Alaya and whether she floated up there somewhere.
I hoped so.
The last thing I wanted to do was prevent her from achieving the things she set out to. Maybe I sounded egotistical. To think I’d have had such a profound effect on her after only a few weeks seemed ludicrous. However, it was exactly what she did to me. With every mile the train ate up, the spark she’d reignited within me died a little more. Suffocated by the threats hanging over my head, the moments of happiness Alaya had managed to conjure were being extinguished.
That was what I wanted, though, right?
I needed to die again and disregard all of my feelings so I could return to the monotonous life of someone in hiding. The only way I’d be able to do that was to squash any flicker of the emotions she’d brought out in me. They didn’t belong in the life I needed to live.
If Crowley ever found me I really would be dead and I couldn’t allow Alaya to suffer because of her association to me. He should have been locked up for life with the things he’d done. Nevertheless, Crowley knew better than to actually get his hands dirty. With no evidence tying him to his more sinister crimes, they’d only been able to prosecute him for identity fraud with the intent to distribute. It got him ten years in a minimum security prison … seven with good behaviour.
Obviously, Crowley played the system right because he wandered the streets again. It didn’t matter whether he was on parole, the dealings he made would never be traced back to him and so he’d resume his leadership and pull the strings from behind the scenes.
I couldn’t believe some unknown bastard may have put me back on his radar. Levi had been right; when I checked my wallet, both of my credit cards were missing. I only had two. They were old and I never emptied my wallet so I stored them along with the PINs I could never remember. A stupid mistake I now realised. However, they were the last reminder of who I used to be and I hadn’t had the heart to throw them away and erase that man completely.
Somehow the asshole who stole them managed to take my wallet, remove the cards, and replace the wallet all without me noticing. It was lucky I’d not added any more cash to it. The most I lost was fifty euro, and so I worried more about the cards. Even if Levi had cancelled them and wiped all traces, it did nothing to assuage the fear Crowley may have seen them. The chances were slim, but I knew Crowley and he’d monitor everything to do with me after the stunt I pulled … even if I was supposedly dead.
That was what killed me the most: the waiting. Not knowing whether someone hunted me. It forced me to flee once more, and only one place stood out in mind. I’d been away from Alaya for a fucking night, yet she still consumed most of my thoughts and guided me. I was stupid to think I would be able to cut her out after everything, even if she hated me now, so I planned to head to Germany. I knew she’d show up at some point and all I hoped was by the time Christmas came around I would know for certain whether I was safe or not. Without being able to guarantee her some security I’d be forced to leave again, and I didn’t think I possessed the strength to give her up for a second time.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Alaya
I was about to walk through the swinging doors leading out of the kitchen and into the dining area when the plate I carried was abruptly removed from my hand. A hand settled on my back, and using my momentum it spun me around to face the kitchen once more.
“That’s a plate for washing up. Your meal is over there,” Rose said, and when I took a step back I noticed she held the dirty plate I was about to deliver to a customer.
“Oh … yeah.” I headed over to the stainless steel worktop where the correct meal rested. Picking it up in one hand, I reached for the condiment bottles with the other.
“That’s syrup, Alaya. Ketchup is to your left,” Rose called out again when I clasped a bottle. Glancing down at the bottle of maple syrup I held with irritation, I let out an infuriated sigh. I was really off my game today … all week in fact.
Rose settled a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. “Why don’t you finish early? The restaurant’s almost empty so I can cover you. I’ll come and find you after my shift ends.”
“No, I can manage. I’m fine, really.”
“No offence, Alaya, but in the last half hour alone you’ve tried to serve three plates that were meant for washing up, given two tables the wrong bill, and mixed up the sauces numerous times.”
I gave her a sheepish look. “My head isn’t in the room today. I’m sorry.”
“I think I figured that out long before you.”
“Maybe I should clock off early.”
“That’s the best idea you’ve had all day.” Rose grabbed the plate from me and with her free hand she pointed towards the door. “I’ll find you in an hour or so, and then you can tell me what’s going on. Although I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the asshole.”
I fought back a smile at the use of Rose’s nickname for Cole. Ever since he left she refused to call him anything apart from ‘the asshole’.
“You don’t need to do that—”
“I am and I will. Now move.” With a final shove she pushed me from the kitchen and went to serve the meals.
Things had become so screwed up since Cole left. I hardly stayed present in the real world anymore. Rose described it as if I sleepwalked everywhere. My body went through the motions of life but my mind drifted elsewhere.
It was an accurate description.
For the last week I’d thrown myself into my work as a distraction. I forgot all about my list of activities I wanted to try out, and when I wasn’t working I hid out in my room. When I tried to convince myself Cole didn’t matter, I was lying.
Of course he did.
I couldn’t explain it, but something about him challenged me even further. He’d intrigued me instantly, and since our first meeting he consumed the majority of my thoughts. It was why I denied everyone’s comments about falling for him; I’d hoped when shit like this happened I would have been able to move straight on.
Turned out everyone else was right.
He worked his way into my life, fed off my freedom, and then he took it with him. I’d grown too close and now nothing held the same appeal without him there to make me laugh.
He said he wasn’t bored of me, yet maybe he lied. It wouldn’t have been the first, after all. In fact, I shouldn’t have even been surprised by the disappearing act. He warned me frequently enough that he was no good, I just ignored it. And now I was paying.
I punched the pillow on my bed. Of course I wasn’t the problem. We had fun until he received a phone call, and from then on everything changed.
What could someone have told him to cause him to flee so rapidly?
I moved out on to my balcony. Even the sun didn’t have any effect on me these days.
Fuck, I never thought I’d be one of these girls.
Sitting down with a huff, I folded my arms on the table and rested my head on them. At some point I must have drifted off because I remembered nothing else until Rose poked my shoulder and snickered at me.
“Feeling any better?” she asked when I squinted up at her. She stood in front of the sun, making the edges of her body glow until she collapsed on the chair next to me.
I brought my hand up to my eyes lazily. It felt as if I was trying to pick up a ten kilo dumbbell as I rubbed them, noting the circular imprints on my cheek from lying on the table. Rose stared at me, waiting for an answer I didn’t have.
“What happened, Alaya? Things were going great. You loved it here, and now you barely enter the real world.”
“I think it’s time I moved on.”
Where did that come from?
The words startled me as they slipped from my lips. Regardless, as I mulled them over they only grew in appeal. It meant cutting my plan of three months per country short by two, yet it sounded exactly like what I needed.
A new location.
No memories.
Another new start.
“I thought we had all summer? What did the asshole do to you? I know it’s his fault, and I think it’s about time you explained the kiss because I’ve let you wallow long enough.”