Authors: Mia Hoddell
“Makes sense. How are you planning on living again?”
I raised a hand to knead the back of my neck. She proved a lot easier to talk to when I controlled the conversation and made her uncomfortable.
“I haven’t really thought about it. I assumed I’d know when I got out here.”
She paused for a moment, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth in thought.
“Can I say something you probably won’t like?” she asked finally.
I shrugged. I doubted anything she said could cut me open further than I had done to myself already.
“If you don’t know what you’re looking for you’re not going to find it. You say you want excitement, but what kind? Do you want an adrenaline rush? To party all night? Fall in love? Sleep with a different woman every night? Chase the sun until you can’t run any further? If you don’t know what you want you’re only going to wander. You have to know yourself inside and out—the good, bad, dark, and light—if you’re to know what you really want.”
Well shit. Somehow she managed to twist the knife deeper. How she pieced so much together from the titbits of information I’d given her I’d never know. It sounded like she knew exactly what I did and who I was hiding from, which was impossible … my name never appeared in the news. I felt naked compared to her; ironic considering we’d been talking about her stripping.
Oh, fuck. I should not have gone back there,
I thought as pictures of her tiny body shimmying up and down a pole filled my mind.
“Sorry, it’s not my place to tell you what you need.”
Damn, she was speaking.
Shaking my head, I cleared the image from my mind—sort of. “What did you say?”
“I said it’s not my place to tell you what you need from life. I’m only talking from my own experiences.”
“No. Don’t apologise. You’re right, I’ve just never thought about it like that.”
“So what’s your deep, dark secret that makes you so evil?” She grinned, her eyes shining with humour as she bit down on her finger.
If only she knew. She wouldn’t have been sitting there smiling.
“It’s way too early for that, sweetheart.”
Her shoulders skimmed her ears with her shrug. It was more of a bounce really, and it caused her top to ride up, exposing a sparkling jewel in her belly button. The sapphire colour glinted at me invitingly, causing me to inhale sharply.
“I bet you’ll tell me at some point.”
Her voice brought my attention back to her lips. She wore a cheeky expression like she knew exactly what she was doing.
“What did I tell you about making bets with me, sweetheart?”
“I’m not scared of you, Hazel.”
I growled at the name, a deep guttural sound of disapproval. “You should be.”
“But I’m not, so either accept the bet or back out.”
“What’s in it for me?”
She pursed her lips and focused on the ceiling intently. Finally, she returned her gaze to mine and the playfulness in them intrigued me. “If you haven’t told me in three months—by the first of November—then if you still want me to, I’ll strip for you. That’s how confident I am you’ll lose.”
An instant bolt of pleasure shot straight to my dick, making me shift uncomfortably as my jeans suddenly became too tight. All of the thoughts I’d managed to block came back with a startling force. My throat seized up at the images in my head and when I spoke my voice came out in a hoarse choke. “You’re on.”
I held out my hand and she glanced down at it curiously, then finally realised what I wanted. My hand dwarfed her tiny palm and her soft, warm skin was a stark contrast to my rough hands.
“You do realise there’s a vital flaw with your bet, right?” I said, finding my voice again.
My comment didn’t seem to faze her. While she tilted her head to the side in question, her lack of curiosity told me she knew what I intended to say and already had an answer.
This girl was going to kill me.
“Go on then. What’s this
major
flaw?”
“After we get off this train and part ways, we’ll never see each other again. Well, at least until the three months are over and I come to claim my prize.”
I expected her eyes to widen or for her lips to part in surprise, yet she did neither. Instead, her mouth twitched and her eyes creased at the corners with laughter. “We will. I promise you’ll come and find me before a month is up.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because right now you’re lost; you’re on the run and looking for answers. You want to learn to live again and I know where to start.”
Well shit, she had me there.
CHAPTER SIX
Alaya
At some point I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes the fake daylight bulbs in the carriage reflected everything inside of the train back at me. All of the open fields and trees were gone, the dark pane of glass transformed into a mirror.
Wait.
If I’m gazing up at the window, what is my head resting on?
Strong legs in worn jeans stretched out in front of me. The pillow that had been so comfortable suddenly felt harder than a lump of rock. The warm, peaceful fog that enveloped me during my sleep became replaced with a chilling cold.
“I know you’re awake, Gingernut. Your body just transformed into a statue.”
Damn it
. I had hoped if I pretended everything was fine I’d wake up and find I hadn’t fallen asleep on Cole.
Cole, the complete stranger.
The same guy who’d warned me to stay away, but also had my heart racing.
Damn my need for adventure and thrills.
“I’m touched, sweetheart, really. I thought it would take a lot longer to get your mouth anywhere near my lap.”
I jolted up, his words giving me the final kick I needed to wake up fully. Peering up at him, I ran my fingers through my hair, only to get them stuck in the massive knot, which used to be my bun. Yanking on the tie, I shook out my hair then combed it back into a bun.
“What happened to the line?” My words came out louder and sharper than I intended them to. I regarded him suspiciously and glowered at the armrest folded back in between the seats.
“Keep your voice down. Most people are asleep.”
“Cole …” I dropped my voice in warning.
“Ooh, my real name. You must be serious,” he sniggered, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
“Not funny,” I hissed. “Why did you move the barrier?”
“I didn’t. That was all you, sweetheart.”
“I did not. And will you stop calling me sweetheart?”
It turned out I was a real comedian at one-thirty in the morning because Cole’s shaking grew more violent. “Sure, give me your real name and I’ll stop.”
“I’m good.”
“Suit yourself.” He shrugged nonchalantly.
Raising a hand, I rubbed it over my face to try and ease the tiredness. My neck felt stiff and my body grungy. I really hated travelling long distances. However, my size usually came in handy since I could curl up in the tiny spaces most people struggled with. What I hadn’t expected was a good looking guy to use as a pillow.
“Have you slept at all?” I frowned against the cruel light.
“Yeah, I woke up a little while ago when the driver announced we’re fifteen minutes from Tende. The train terminates there. You weren’t meant to get off before then, were you?”
“Nope, Tende then on to another village to reach the hotel for me.”
“Even half asleep you don’t slip up. I should have known that, though.” He rolled his eyes and I tried to smile around my yawn.
“I’m a smart cookie.”
“You’re a tired cookie, Gingernut.”
“My hair no longer looks ginger. You can’t call me that now.”
“I can. I know the truth so it still fits. You’re a natural ginger at heart. Fiery like one too.”
“Actually, I’m a natural brunette.”
The train began to slow, the engine becoming softer. I wouldn’t have said the journey flew by because it didn’t, but I hadn’t expected to laugh so much on it. Cole made the eighteen hours a lot more bearable and I hated to admit I felt sad to leave him, even with the certainty I’d see him again. It was strange how quickly I’d accepted his presence. I hardly knew anything about him, yet he felt like an old friend.
“What’s going on in your head, Gingernut?”
“That I still have time to carry out my threat to send you toppling into the aisle.” My lips curved, covering my real thoughts.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Want to bet on it?”
“Ha, ha, you’re so funny. But no. That’s one bet I won’t take with you.”
“Smart man.”
Pulling my bag on to my lap, I rummaged in it for my notebook and pen. Once I retrieved them I tore a page out, and making sure to cover it from Cole’s view, I scribbled on it then folded it into quarters.
With the lid of the pen between my teeth, I replaced it and returned everything apart from the note to my bag as the train pulled to a stop. The driver’s voice announced our destination and then said some other things I didn’t understand because it was in French.
I moved to stand and so did Cole, allowing me to see his full height for the first time. He must have been at least six-two, making my measly five foot one look like four foot nothing. He had broad shoulders and defined muscle beneath the shirt he wore, and I found myself unable to break my stare. His lean and athletic physique was impressive to gawk at.
We walked down the aisle to the baggage rack.
“Which one’s yours?” Cole asked, and too tired to resist his help I pointed to the large, red, canvas bag. He lifted it easily from the rack and grabbed what I guessed to be his. Instead of handing it over like I expected, he carried it from the train and placed it on the platform in front of us as we stood facing one another.
“Do you know where you’re going or do you need a taxi?”
“I’m good. I hired a car to pick me up and I can already see my driver.”
Cole glanced across at the line of men in suits. There were only three of them and they each held a sign with a name on. I’d deliberately not revealed which one held my surname. It drew his attention away from me long enough for me to slip the piece of paper I’d written my note on into the small gap the zip left in his bag.
“Still not going to tell me who you are?”
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” I replied, trying not to appear guilty.
Silence descended over us, neither of us knowing what to do next. I shuffled on the spot awkwardly, while Cole dragged his hand over his evening stubble.
“So … I guess I’ll see you in a few months then when I come to claim my prize,” he said finally.
Picking my bag up from the platform, I threw it over the same shoulder that carried my other one and walked towards the driver with a sign saying ‘Matthews’. I called back over my shoulder with confidence, “I’ll see you before the month is over.”
“How am I meant to find you without a name?”
“You’ll figure it out, Hazel. You just have to know where to look to find the answers.”
“It’s Cole!” he shouted back, but I only saluted him with a grin.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Cole
I just have to know where to look.
That was what she said to me. Since I checked into a small Bed and Breakfast the words were stuck on repeat inside my head. Like a damn broken record they played over and over. Not even kicking myself dislodged them.
Believe me, I tried.
How the fuck was I meant to know where to look when she gave me nothing to work with? The surname Matthews would lead me nowhere and I had no idea which village she was in. She’d told me she wasn’t staying in Tende.
I’d lasted all of three hours and already I wanted to find her. She’d been right … about everything. Most importantly her guess about me not being able to last a month proved true. She stirred something within me, challenged me like no one else, and she refused to back down. Sure, she would hate me when she found out the truth, but for now I could cling to the thought she liked my company.
Living would be easy with her.
She knew what it meant to be free.
No one told her what to do and she’d uprooted everything to take a swing at living life her own way. I had only known her for hours, yet she spoke more sense to me in that time than anyone back home.
She made me forget to hate myself.
She revived me.
For the first time in seven years, a desire to be better, and to want more, burned within me. I wanted to be as carefree as her, and I wanted to chase the sun like she said.
I could only thank God the creep who’d been leering at her had been travelling along our route. Of course I spotted her instantly on the train. However, I hadn’t made the decision to move until he boarded. If he hadn’t arrived I wouldn’t have changed seats, and knowing what I would have missed out on I could safely say I’d be worse off for it. Gingernut had given me a direction and purpose.
Knowing I needed at least a few hours to sleep if I was going be able to focus on finding her when the sun rose, I stripped down to my boxers and unzipped my bag to find my toothbrush.
I don’t think I ever did clean my teeth that night.
On top of my clothes in the corner of my bag lay a folded white piece of paper. Instantly, my heart picked up speed. I dried my sweaty palms on my boxers and forced the hope rising within me back down to my feet. If it remained there it wouldn’t matter if the paper didn’t turn out to be what I thought it was.
I snatched it up and couldn’t unfold it quickly enough. When I skimmed over the words, my mouth stretched into a smile so big I was sure all of my teeth were bared.
I’m working/staying at The Beckett. Come and find me when you’re ready to live again and lose our bet.
Ask for Alaya at reception.
I’ll see you soon, Hazel.
X