Authors: Mia Hoddell
“I’m losing, am I?”
Fuck, she was right.
Every time it was
me
moving to kiss
her
. Despite me being the one to initiate the game, she still bested me at every turn. I found her impossible to resist and it obviously didn’t work both ways.
For the second time in a row she’d thrown herself into a pool of water.
Hell, she really needs to stop doing that.
I dived beneath the surface of the water to swim away from her. I needed the space to clear my head. All of the games were getting to me and making me lose sight of why I came to France. I wanted to live but I didn’t deserve to, and Alaya made it all too easy for me to forget.
Besides, she’d already admitted she wasn’t looking for a guy. It was a stupid idea to pursue her, but I couldn’t resist.
I needed to get away from her and regroup.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Alaya
“You can’t hide out in here any longer, Alaya. This is getting ridiculous,” Rose admonished, throwing herself back on my bed and stretching her arms out above her head.
“I’m not.”
“Uh huh …” she murmured dubiously.
Okay, it was technically a lie seeing as I made sure to avoid Cole at every opportunity for the last three days. I required distance from him to get my head in order before seeing him again. Somehow he managed to break down a few of my defences as to why a relationship was a bad idea and I needed to put a stop to it.
I refused to give up the freedom I’d just begun to taste for a guy I’d only known for a few weeks. It was a slippery slope from enjoying his company and casual flirting, to sex and falling for someone.
I wasn’t ready for that.
The distance proved to be the reminder I needed. It allowed me to sort everything out … to remember I was only helping him. Like a pet project. I also wouldn’t let myself fall for someone who wasn’t being honest with me.
“Actually, I’m about to see him now. We’re going mountain biking.”
“Really?” Rose said sardonically.
“Yes, really. I only needed things to cool down. They were getting out of hand, and I don’t need to be tied to someone on this trip.”
Rose held up her hands in surrender. “Can I ask one question?”
I huffed, rummaging through my bag for a top. “What?”
“Why would having fun with Cole be such a bad thing? It’s obvious you both like each other, so why reject it all? No one’s expecting you to marry the guy, just have fun and see where it goes.”
“I’m already too attached to his company. Hell, he fills my thoughts almost constantly. If I allow him to get any closer I’m not going to want him to leave and I can’t afford to become dependent on him. This is my trip and I won’t compromise on what I want to do. If I let him in I’d have to.”
Rose slammed her hands down on the mattress either side of her hips. “Wake up, Alaya. You let him in the moment you handed him your name and address. You can deny it all you want, but anyone with a pair of eyes can see you’re already falling for him.”
“I’m not.”
“Oh yeah? Most people don’t go to these lengths to help out someone they hardly know.”
“He intrigues me, okay? I want to know what he’s hiding and nothing further.”
“
Yeah,
you keep telling yourself that. But for the record, you don’t have to give up or compromise on anything because you fall for someone. Who knows? Maybe he’s happy to follow you around the world. He’s already doing it to some extent. There hasn’t been one activity he’s had a say in.” When I glowered at her, she held her hands up again. “All I’m saying is don’t rule out the idea because of preconceived notions. No one’s asking you to marry him or throw down and make beautiful babies. You’re free to do what you want, so let go, have fun, and if it gets too much split.”
I sighed. “All right, point made. Can I get dressed now?”
Rose hauled herself off the bed and headed to the door, pausing with her hand on the handle to glance back at me. “Just think about it, okay? Maybe you’re not destined to go on this trip alone.”
Not waiting for a response, she strolled out of the room and softly shut the door behind her. As the lock clicked into place I sank down on to my bed with a groan. I hung my head in my hands and pulled at the roots of my hair.
She isn’t right
.
I wasn’t on my way to falling for Cole; I didn’t need him, and I wasn’t better off with someone. Dating meant compromising and my trip was about freeing myself.
Determination filled me. At the end of the week that would be it. I would tell Cole I couldn’t help him anymore and continue on my journey alone. I’d give myself one week to get him out of my system and that would be it.
* * *
“Cole … I’m dying … wait up!” I shouted as I attempted to breathe through the burning pressure in my chest. Every breath I drew in felt like molten lava trickling down my throat and into my lungs as I panted. No matter what I did, I couldn’t take in enough air.
Placing my feet on the ground, I leaned forward to rest my head on the handlebars. Gasping, I ignored the tyres skidding to a stop beside me. They kicked up stones which hit my leg with a sharp sting, and then one foot entered into my eye line.
“Come on, Gingernut. It’s not much further.”
I lifted my head to glare at him, but in the end it took too much energy so I dropped my bike to the ground and lowered myself into the rough, sand-coloured grass. It wasn’t comfortable and the sharp rocks poked me in the back, yet I didn’t care.
“Go on without me. I won’t make it. You can carry my body back when you return.” I waved a limp hand in the air above me, signalling he should go, while I closed my eyes. Instead of hearing him cycling away, he chuckled and then the crunch of shoes on top of the gritty path grew closer. I heard him sit down beside me, his clothes rustling against the grass.
“Why aren’t you going?” I mumbled lazily, still not bothering to look at him. The sun created a pleasant warmth against my skin, like happiness raining down on me.
“Do you really think I’m going to leave you here on the side of a mountain? You could get eaten by a goat or something.”
“It’d be easier than death by cycling.”
I didn’t need to look at Cole to know he rolled his eyes at me. “This was your idea.”
“They advertised it as ‘great, action-packed, adrenaline-filled fun for all’. What part of this is any of those things?” I grumbled. “I’m going to sue them for false advertising.”
Cole guffawed, and when I cracked an eye to watch him he leaned back on his elbows, admiring the view. “You’ll enjoy it on the way down.”
“I’ll have to get back up first. I might just stay here and let the goats eat me. Where are these goats by the way? I haven’t seen any.”
Cole shrugged and I heaved myself up to lock my arms loosely around my bent knees. “I don’t know. There might not be any.”
“Great, now
you’re
giving me false hope!” I exclaimed in mock outrage.
Cole shook his head in despair. “You really are one of a kind.”
Leaning forward, he reached for the water bottle on his bike. He unscrewed the cap and brought it to his lips. His throat bobbed when he tilted his head back and swallowed.
“Is that a good or bad thing?”
He held out the bottle to me, offering me a drink, but I shook my head.
“Good. I think you’re mad and probably have a few screws loose somewhere up here.” He tapped the side of my head. “Yet it’s more interesting than being normal, right?”
“You’d know all about being normal, wouldn’t you?”
He cast me a sidelong glance. Wariness filled his gaze, no doubt wondering where I intended to take the conversation.
I couldn’t resist it. He’d provided me with an opening and if I only had a week to make him crack I couldn’t hold back. “You know, because of how you lived before coming here?”
“I’ve never known normal, Gingernut. There was
nothing
normal about my situation.”
“Why?”
“Because normal people aren’t dead to the world. They don’t watch their own funeral from a distance, kill the only spark of life left inside them, then vanish into thin air—” He cut off abruptly, realising he’d said too much. His fists clenched around the bottle he still held. Plastic crunched in his palm and his knuckles whitened. His jaw locked in silent rage, and his exhales came out more like snorts.
He was angry.
I didn’t like angry Cole.
What was worse was I didn’t know if it was directed at me, and therefore I didn’t press for more answers. He’d given me a small clue as to what he went through and I deemed it enough for one day. If he was beginning to crumble and reveal small hints then soon the whole wall would tumble down. I just had to play my cards right.
What he said made no sense. Well, it did, only without context I had no idea what any of it meant. He’d revealed something, but he’d also revealed nothing at all, because without the reason behind any of it, it meant nothing.
“You’re not going to question me?” His breaths evened out and he regarded me with guarded confusion.
“Do you want me to?”
“Of course not, but I thought you’d pounce on that titbit like a starved lion on a fresh kill.”
I shrugged nonchalantly. I wanted to, only I followed my gut and changed the subject. “Want to head back down and go for something to eat?”
“Am I going to have to carry you or are you willing to get on your bike?”
Images of Cole holding me in his arms filled my mind for a second and I dispelled them as quickly. I could already feel the heat rising in my cheeks as I got carried away imagining his lips on mine.
“I’ll ride. I’m sure I can manage downhill.”
With a curt nod, Cole dragged himself to his feet and held out a hand. I took it without thinking, allowing him to haul me off my ass so quickly it gave me a head rush. Swaying on my feet, I was thankful when Cole rested a hand on my shoulder to steady me.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
I waved him away, ignoring the dull ache in my legs that grew with each tiny movement. “I’m fine. I’ll be even better once I’ve had a drink.”
He thrust a bottle of water in my face instantly, and too thirsty to care it belonged to him I took it and gulped down the rest of the contents. I handed him back the empty bottle, and while he replaced it into the holder on his bike, I swung my leg over my seat.
“Meet you at the bottom?” Not giving him time to answer, or even get on his bike, I pushed off and began coasting down the mountain path.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Cole
Sat on the corner of my bed back in the hotel, I ran my hand through my still damp hair. Shaking the droplets of water from the tips, I let out a deep sigh. Thanks to everything Alaya organised I almost forgot what day it was, and what it meant. The key word in that sentence being
almost.
As if I could ever really forget the event that was taking place back in the UK.
While I tried to kid myself into ignoring it, I couldn’t. It was why I slipped up earlier.
I stared down at my phone—a cheap, pre-paid device only one person knew the number to. The date blinked up at me, as if mocking my predicament. For seven years this date hung over me, never far from my mind. It always seemed like it would never arrive, but it had. As if tuned into my thoughts, the mobile began ringing in my hand. For a second I only stared at the number, my thumb hovering over the answer button, but not brave enough to push it. I swallowed and cleared my throat, then accepted the call.
“He’s out?” I snapped, my voice harsh. A greeting seemed like a waste of time and words considering we both knew who was on the other end of the line and what the call meant.
“Ryder picked him up an hour ago.”
I nodded in acceptance even though Levi couldn’t see me. “And?”
“He’s gone to ground like we anticipated. We’ve got tabs on him, but unless he’s caught doing something that’s it. He’s a free man.”
“You’ve covered all of the bases, right? He won’t find me?”
“I did my job, Cole.” Levi’s voice hardened in irritation. “As far as Crowley knows, you died from injuries sustained in the accident like everyone else. If you’re smart that’s how it will stay.”
“There’s nothing to trace me? You left no links to be connected?” I scraped my hand over my forehead, swiping it down to pinch the bridge of my nose.
“Not that I know of.”
“Not that you
know of?
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“I did everything I could, Cole. I altered the records, gave you the paperwork you needed … and don’t forget the money. There are no links between Cole Ashford and who you were.” His words came out faster and with more bite to them. “I could lose my fucking job for what I did! This goes beyond witness protection, but I did it for you.”
“I know, man. I’m sorry, it’s the day. While I’ve known it’s been coming I never thought it would get here. Things were starting to look up as well. Can you check everything’s still good? I know I haven’t slipped up, but it’d ease my mind.”
“I get it, and I’ll take a look because Crowley shouldn’t be searching for you unless you fuck it all up.”
“Yeah, thanks. I owe you.”
“Yes, you do. I’ll be in touch once I’ve looked into everything and I’ll let you know if I hear anything or if something changes.” He disconnected the call and I held my breath. Forcing the urge to throw the mobile through the wall to subside, I lowered my hand from my ear and jammed it back into my pocket.
Nothing felt real.
Like I told Levi, even though I knew this day would eventually arrive it had crept up and surprised me. For seven years I’d been relatively safe. Of course I’d been cautious, yet with Crowley now out of prison I needed to step up my game. It was the reason I left the UK to begin with. When I told Alaya I had no idea what I was doing when I got on that train it had been a lie. I knew exactly what I was doing, just not where I was going. I’d needed to leave because I didn’t want to live constantly watching over my shoulder. However, despite my intentions, the time had come. What made it worse was now I had something to lose.