I played those words a couple of times in my head.
… is what I love about you ...most.
I felt hot. The temperature in my body must have risen at least a hundred degrees. My face was blazing. I'm sure Evan noticed that I was blushing too. I found myself unable to speak; my throat felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls or something. I had to walk away from Evan in order to focus.
I was so confused about how and what I may be feeling for him. I know that I’m feeling something. I’m not so sure that I had control over my emotions when I was in his presence. I still felt like I barely knew Evan. It’s only been a day and a half.
“I want, so desperately, to kiss you. Every moment of the day my mind is consumed by you, the sweet fragrance of your skin, the – ”
Oh no…he was doing it.
“Please... stop.” I cut him off abruptly. I couldn’t listen to another word out of fear that I might just jump into his arms, and kiss him. My mind flashed back to the time we had spent together in the gazebo. Everything had felt so nice then – so normal. The feelings started and…
“I'm sorry. This is very difficult for me. I just wish you could remember how it used to be between us.” He apologized, admitting what I already knew. A flash of the dream that haunted me for a couple weeks, engulfed me momentarily. I tasted his sweet kiss, and felt the chill of the night air in the forest. I had been warmed by his body, pressed up firmly against mine…and then the howling. I blinked hard to shake the reverie off.
Evan did his best to conceal his frustration, but he did very poorly at disguising it. I thought about what I heard him say to Bethany while they were in the library last night.
I love her… I just want to protect her.
I had to get it together. Focus!
“Well I don't. I don't remember anything. I don't remember you. I don't remember us. I don't even remember myself! This is all too fast, and way too crazy.” I said louder than I had really wanted to. “Can’t you see that?” His pain was evident in his eyes, and I was the reason why, but I wasn’t concerned about Evan’s feelings right now. “When is it supposed to happen? Huh? When am I supposed to get my memory back? How do you expect me to just start acting like your girlfriend…fiancé, when you are a stranger to me?” I said, my arms flailing about.
“It will happen, my love. You must be patient. It is the only way,” Evan said, with a strange sense of calm as he stepped closer to me, and started to stroke my cheek.
“Please, don't do that.” I snapped, as I pulled away from him, precipitately.
“Corde”
“No. That's all I ever hear from you. Be patient. Patient? I've been patient. You said I would be able to remember everything by now. All I remember is the life I had before I was brought back. I want the truth. Did something go wrong when you brought me back? Is there a chance that I may never remember?” I was trembling, and I couldn’t stop. I was seething with anger and frustration. I wanted to calm down but couldn’t. I had no idea that I would blow up this way.
Evan watched me intently, and didn’t appear surprised by my aggravation and choice words. Our eyes were locked as we stood only a foot apart. We were the only two people who existed in this dangerous world right now, and we were emotionally clashing harder than the Titans and Olympians had.
Evan’s gaze remained soft as he tried to explain. “Everything I have told you is true, but… I don’t know how long it will take for your memory to return completely, yet I’m certain that it will.” Evan sat down on one of the plush ivory chairs. I was annoyed with him for not leveling with me and telling me what he really thought, and I didn’t want him to sit and make himself comfortable.
“I think that you are as scared as I am, and that you haven’t the faintest idea if and when I’ll begin to recall my life here. I would like to be alone, if you don't mind.” I stated firmly as I turned away from him to stare out the French doors.
The room is quiet with a stillness that made me believe for just a second that the world had stopped turning. Except for the warm breeze that wafted in through the French doors, and blew the intricate lace curtains a couple feet in the air, there was no movement. I remembered just then that I’m in the company of a being that could vanish with the breeze, so I turned around to make sure that Evan was still in the room. He hadn’t disappeared. We stared at each other, again.
“I’m not afraid. The circumstances of your return has slowed the process a bit, but it hasn’t halted it. I’ll leave, if that’s what you want. But I didn’t come here to fight with you. I’m here to fight for you.” Evan said softly, yet firmly, causing something to stir inside of me as I caught my breath. His words were simple, yet they grounded me where I stood. He stood up, and slowly walked to the double doors as if he hoped that I would stop him before he reached them. Once he was at my doors, he turned around, and we stared at each other again.
“It is what I want,” I said, with as much conviction as I could muster. Evan’s expression grew dismal, but he wouldn’t allow himself to show his vulnerable side, which I knew he had since providing me a glimpse of it today in the garden. He walked out without saying another word, and I was relieved to see him go. I knew that in another moment I might have begged him to stay, and I wouldn’t even know where the feeling was really stemming from, and that frightened me. The need to know my past was stronger still.
As I started to relax, and release the anxiety that had crept up, a knock at my door caused me to curse under my breath. I couldn't believe it. Why couldn't he just back off for a minute? Had a minute even gone by? I continued cursing as I grabbed both door knobs at once, and flung them open. Sun Paw flinched backward when she saw my face in a half snarl.
“Oh, Sun Paw, it’s you. I thought you were… someone else.” I said, to my chagrin. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” I started to giggle out of embarrassment as she walked into the sitting room.
I stuck my head into the hallway, peering to see if Evan was still around. The hall was dim and vacant. I closed the doors, and faced Sun Paw, who looked at me strangely. I was a little tired of everyone's odd facial expressions every time I did anything.
“Is there something wrong?” I asked, thoroughly annoyed, again. I wasn’t annoyed with poor Sun Paw, but she would have to be the recipient of my pissedoff mood for the moment.
“No, Miss Cordelia, I have come to deliver this.” She handed me a small sealed envelope with just my name addressed on the front of it.
“Thank you, Sun Paw. Is there anything else?” I asked, dismissing her as I practically snatched the thin envelope, and cupped it into my hand. I was prepared to guard it with my life.
“No, Miss.” Sun Paw said, backing away and making a quick exit.
The drum beating in my chest seemed loud enough to be heard throughout the entire house. Hastily, I locked my doors, sat on the chaise, and tore open the envelope. I yanked the note out and began to read.
Dearest Cordelia,
I request the pleasure of your company tomorrow afternoon at 1’oclock. I look forward to meeting with you.
Fondly,
Gerald Bergnum III
I read the note over and over, tracing the perfect penmanship with my index finger. Finally, I would meet Gerald.
TwentyOne
Old Acquaintances
“Ouch!” I shouted, and then marveled at how quickly the pain subsided.
“Just stay still.” Bethany scolded, as Miss Cuttwright, the seamstress, mistook me for a pin cushion.
Miss Cuttwright, had a very plain exterior, and appeared to be in her midthirties. She was considered a spinster because she had never married. In the future she would be considered a career woman. I thought her name was perfectly fitting for her profession. I had to giggle a bit when Bethany first introduced us. She was in the process of fitting me for my Masquerade Ball gown.
“Ouch.” I yelped again, and turned around to face Miss Cuttwright. “Do you mind?” Even though the pain subsided quickly, initially it hurt like hell.
“Please forgive me Miss Tieron, but you must stay still.”
“I’m not moving.” I said, correcting her through clenched teeth.
“Stop fidgeting.” Bethany reprimanded me again, as she sat in one of the velvet tufted chairs, working on a piece of needle point. If someone had told me, that Bethany could needle point two weeks ago, I would have laughed pretty damn loudly in their face. Even now it seemed strange although, this was the Victorian era where needle point, I suppose, was the craze. It was rather odd really. Bethany, a demigod, who I’d seen do some incredibly amazing things was sitting, and gracefully stitching an intricate floral pattern into a piece of fabric about the size of a handkerchief.
“I’m not fidgeting” I said over my shoulder. “I’m not moving at all. She just keeps sticking me.” Miss Cuttwright was really pissing me off. She was acting more like a witch doctor than a seamstress, and inflicting pain on her life sized voodoo doll.
“Ouch! Are we done?” I practically yelled. That time I was sure she drew blood. I really needed some powers to block the initial pain.
Bethany sighed. “Miss Cuttwright, are you about finished?
“Yes, Miss Capius,” Miss Cuttwright said, packing up her tools and supplies into her carpetbag. She slipped the muslin dress, a stiff linen prototype of my dress which she will use as a guide when making my actual gown, over my head. I quickly stepped down from the foot stool, and threw my day dress back on. I had to make a quick exit or I would be late for my visit with Gerald. I slipped out of Bethany’s sitting room while she handed Miss Cuttwright four heavy bolts of carefully chosen fabric, before she noticed me escaping. I bolted down the stairs.
Finally out of the house, and slightly out of breath, I stood in front of the Bergnum’s front door. The knocker on the door appeared larger since the last time I had stood on their front porch. The head of the lion looked ferocious and sinister; like a forewarning of what may be looming behind the door.
With trepidation, I knocked on the door then took a quick look behind me to check if anyone was spying on me. I stared at my house across the street while I waited. I thought about what happened there that night and shuddered at the memory of how the vampire had burst into flames then turned into cinders.
Suddenly, in my peripheral, a figure emerged from the west side of my house and stood in the front garden. He was dressed in all black with skin paler than the ivory handkerchief I had chosen to carry along with me in my drawstring purse. He looked directly at me, actually through me as he stood in the weeds that seemed to climb up his legs. The intensity of his eyes reminded me of the way Victor had glared at me when I waited for the light to change on the main street, wild but contained.
He began to move closer to the entrance gates as if he was trying to get a better look at me, moving in static as if he were made of currents. The dark clothing he wore, a gentleman’s suit – all black including the button down shirt, led me to believe that he was one of Victor’s disciples. They all seemed to share the same penchant for wearing clothing better suited for mourning. It was as if they wanted to disappear into the shadows; what they actually should avoid at all costs.
But this man came across as unusual and sinister. He was as chalky as a ghost where Victor’s disciples always appeared to be… alive. His movements were jumpy, not footsteps. He appeared closer to the gates of my house now, and his intense stare burrowed into my face like the sun. I wasn’t sure that I’d be keeping my appointment with Gerald. I was unsure that I could even make it out the Bergnum’s entrance gates before it was upon me; my first instinct was to run. Then I heard the door creak open behind me, and an ice cold chill filled the air, it literally felt like the temperature dropped fifty degrees from the warm eighty. I spun around to see a young man, probably a few years older than I, impeccably dressed as the sons of the aristocracy usually were these days. He had golden blond hair the color of corn silk, and stared down at me with strange vacant eyes. I felt like I’d been caught trespassing on sacred ground or something.
I turned to see if the darkly attired man came out of the vine encrusted gates, but to my surprise he was gone as if the door being opened had scared him away. I turned back around, and goose bumps rose on my skin. The goose bumps weren’t from the appearance of the man across the street, or from his quick departure. The hairs on the back of my neck had risen from that enlightenment. I was freezing in my three quarter sleeve, linen and lace dress, and it was all due to the arctic blast that came with the Bergnum’s door being opened. The cold air was coming from inside the Bergnum estate.
I did my best to shake off the image of the disappearing phantom, and tried to focus on the boy standing right in front of me, the boy who I hoped would help me to remember who I was.
For a few seconds, we both stood there, motionless, staring at each other. I couldn’t help but wonder if he too had seen the man gawking at me from the deserted garden. I was about to speak but he spoke first. “Well...well... well..., hello Cordelia. It’s good of you to visit.” An impish smile spread across his face. It wasn’t exactly the greeting I had been expecting.
“Hello Gerald.” I said, cheerfully not wanting to show any indication of how nervous I was. I watched as a peculiar look washed over his handsome face.
Even though I had only seen Gerald once from across the length of two huge yards, Gerald looked less angelic than I had expected. There was a mischievous look to him as if he should be watched carefully, or you’d run the risk of ending up with a strategically placed rattlesnake or frog in your pocket.
“Gerald? Dear girl, has it been that long? Do you not recognize me?” He said leaning his head to one side, raising an eyebrow in a sharp arc.
As he spoke, another young man suddenly appeared beside him in the door way. The realization hit me like a thud on the head. The second boy was definitely younger with brighter, gentler brown eyes. His hair was a paler shade of corn silk. He was Gerald and he was standing in the doorway beside his older brother, Winston – his dead older brother. Gerald gave no indication that he knew that his brother was standing right next to him. He couldn’t see Winston. The remarkable thing was that I could. The morbidity of this revelation nearly sent me sprinting from the Bergnum’s property. Winston watched me closely with a smirk surfacing across his face.