“I want to talk to you.” I said.
“I expect that you would want to. Fine, talk.” Winston said, in a flat tone.
“I need you to tell me everything you know about me, and my… family, and Victor.” I said in a whisper, as my teeth chattered. Winston was now a few inches from where I sat at the table. I watched as a smirk emerged on his lips. The kind that usually paved the way for a sarcastic comment.
“Pour quoi avezvous besoin de moi?” Winston asked in French, why I would need him. “You’re not the only one who’s been to France,” he added. The journals were right; I guess I was fluent in every language.
“Nous pouvons nous rencontrons dans la salle m ce soir à huit heures.” I asked Winston to meet me this evening in my room at eight o'clock. Although I felt a bit apprehensive inviting a ghost over to the Capius’ house not knowing if they would be able to detect his presence, I had to speak to him uninterrupted. Dinner should be over by then, and if not, then I would fake a headache, and excuse myself.
Winston stood over me, and brought his face close enough to plant his dead lips on my vibrant ones. He had one sinister eyebrow raised as he spoke in a whisper.
“One does not turn down an invitation by such a divine beauty. Yet I must admit, I do wonder what is in it for me, beautiful Empress of the Ischeros?”
Winston leered.
“I don't know what you mean?” I sat as far back in my chair as I could to lengthen the space between us.
“Is it my question that has left you confused or my statement?” Winston quizzed.
“Your question.” I answered feeling slightly annoyed.
“Ah. That's right I haven't actually made my demands.”
“And they are?”
“I know what you are capable of. Not your kind… just you. You can do anything with your mind. I want what any man in my position would want. We will meet this evening.” He said, never taking his eyes off of my own. He scared me a little because I didn't know what he was capable of.
“Will you tell me about Evan’s meeting with the Apo…the vampire?” I wasn’t sure if Winston knew the depth of the existence and history of the Ischeros, particularly, the Apolluon.
“I saw Nikolas just outside the Bucket o’ Blood last night helping the infamous town harlot, Sacha. That apple didn't fall to far from the tree did it?
Hmm…Sacha, she could be a lot of fun.” Winston reminisced. “She was drunk, as usual, but he was kind to her. I’m sure you know that the majority of the people in this town would have left her on the ground where she had tumbled. Ahhh… Nikolas is a fine fellow. ” Winston confirmed with a snicker.
I never doubted Nikolas. He was an Ischero to the end, and saw an opportunity to use Sacha to get to Victor, although it may have looked like something else entirely; something juicy to gossip about.
“Then I saw Evander at the Bucket o’ Blood. Evander spent some time at the roulette table then later followed the owner of the saloon, Matthias Vittadini, the two thousand yearold head vampire, who was once a prince of Romania, into a back room when his father, Thaddeus, finally came in.
Nikolas never made it to the saloon,” Winston informed. “Therefore the meeting was between Evander, Thaddeus, and Matthias.”
“Ok so …” I waved my hand in a circular motion so that Winston could get on with it.
“Patience, Divine One,” Winston ordered, lightly. “Evander told the head vampire that you have your powers now, which is a lie of course.” Winston sneered knowingly. “He also told Matthias that you didn’t know that you had them when you killed his wife. It was obvious that Matthias wasn’t completely convinced. But he had his own dilemma. Now that he knows that there is a divine being that can kill him, he’s used the leverage of his wife’s murder to demand protection from you, the being in question who is the only one who can kill him.” I was dumbfounded by the idea of a vampire as old and as powerful as Matthias actually fearing me. Meanwhile I’m afraid of my own shadow. Shadows period.
“Ok. Tell me about –”
“We shall speak again tonight.” Winston said, cutting me of abruptly.
“Yes.” I agreed. Winston turned away and disappeared. I was suddenly feeling nervous. My nervousness had little to do with Winston personally. My jittery nerves stemmed from my anticipation of finally learning the whole truth tonight. Only a moment ago, I was wondering if I was making a bad decision having this ghost boy over tonight. But he was willing, and I was in need, so this was the only way.
I want what any man in my position would want.
That could only mean one thing. Winston wanted to be alive again. I couldn’t blame him. It was what I wanted when I had died. He was pretty sure that I could make it happen. I felt like I should be outfitted in a turban, balloon pants, elf shoes, and take on the role of a full time genie.
Poof. I mean really. Could I actually restore his life?
Just then Gerald walked briskly into the room outfitted in a completely different suit. I didn't expect him to change his entire suit over a pair of wet trousers. He had changed from a deep charcoal gray suit to a heather gray one as if the heather gray pants wouldn’t have matched the charcoal gray jacket. I couldn’t get over how proper these boys were, and how they took the whole ‘dressed to impress’ thing to the next level.
“Would you like to go for a walk?” Gerald asked, with bright anxious eyes.
I don’t want you to leave me. I can’t stand to be without you.
I heard his thoughts again, and I really didn’t want to.
“Actually I have to go. I’m expected back at the Capius’,” I said, regretfully. I felt bad about cutting out on Gerald but I didn't lie. If I didn’t get back to Evan’s, I’m pretty certain that they would dispatch a search party for me.
“I see. You don’t want to keep him waiting. Well thank you for the visit.” Gerald was upset. He jingled a small gold bell that summoned Rutherford.
“Would you kindly show Ms. Tieron out.” Gerald said to Rutherford. These days, it was impolite not to walk a guest to the door, and Gerald had basically turned his back to me, and stared out the glass doors as if something had summoned him from the garden. Unsure that I would ever see Gerald again, I turned to look at him one last time before I exited the room. He stared out the French doors with his arms ridged at his sides. I hoped that someday he would understand.
The only thing accomplished by meeting Gerald was discovering his arrogant older brother's ghost. I wasn't sure that I could trust him to shed some light on my existence here, but how else was I to find out about myself? Was I complicating things? I knew the answer to that. I hated the fact that I was snooping around, eavesdropping on everyone's conversations, and sneaking off, and risking my safety. I was knowingly sabotaging their efforts to protect me because, I didn't want to be kept in the dark about things that seemed to be extremely crucial, and that had everything to do with me. From what I did remember of myself, the self I thought I was, I’d always been sensitive to the feelings of others. I didn't want to make things complicated or difficult.
I just couldn't deal with not knowing the whole truth.
Patience, a virtue, was the one commendable quality that I didn’t seem to possess. I couldn’t do as Evan and Bethany had asked; wait for my memory and powers to return on their own. I didn’t totally trust them, and I wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel that I knew them well enough. It was more of a feeling of not being told everything that there was to know from the beginning. They said that they thought not telling me was protecting me.
For whatever reason though I didn’t trust them, completely.
As soon as I was out the door, Rutherford shut the door with a thud. I quickly slipped out of the tall gates of the Bergnum’s mansion. I anticipated something coming after me so I wasted no time getting back. I glided passed unfamiliar faces, extending pleasantries – wishing me a wonderful day, in haste. It was so strange how I blended right in, and stood out all at the same time. I got lucky this time. No Apolluon shadows pouncing on me on this glorious afternoon.
Once back at the Capius house, I started to go up the stairs as Evan appeared in the hallway from the parlor. He looked saddened by something. Did he know where I'd been? Did he think that I’d rejected him by visiting Gerald? Evan is obviously hurt, and feels that I have betrayed him. He couldn’t be more wrong. It was a fact that I may not be able to prove to him any time soon. I would never have thought that I would be caught in a love triangle.
My need to learn about myself has consumed me so much that I refuse to allow any emotions to surface. I either had to regain my memory, or find out as much as I could about my life here and this family through my new dead friend, Winston. I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything for either of these boys.
“You've been gone for a while. We expected you... well, I was hoping that you would have joined us for brunch. If you don’t mind my asking, where did you go?” Evan asked, looking genuinely concerned. He looked as blue as his startling eyes which he bore into my quickly averting ones. I found it very difficult to lie to him. I didn't want to. I decided to tell him the truth, but not because I felt obligated to tell him my comings and goings, but because I knew he deserved the truth. I took a deep breath, and then exhaled slowly.
“I was invited to brunch by Gerald Bergnum, at his home. I accepted the invitation.” I admitted, skittishly, yet relieved not to be lying. Evan’s eyes grew bluer as I mentioned Gerald's name. It was an incredibly beautiful – change that literally took my breath away. They went from light sky blue to a deep turquoise.
“I see.” Evan noted, casually. He acted like it didn't matter where I had spent my morning, and early afternoon. He acted as if meeting with Gerald was totally acceptable. I knew better.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” Evan asked. He was hurt, and was doing a horrible job at masking his vulnerability. It was that vulnerability which drew me to him. He didn’t wait for my answer as I averted my eyes from his glare. Evan turned around, and slowly walked back into the sunny parlor. All of the curtains in the large room were drawn open, allowing the oppressive afternoon sun in. I stood at the entrance of the beautifully decorated room for a moment, unsure if I made the right choice in telling Evan, my supposed soul mate, whom has done everything in his power to protect me, that I’d spent the better part of my morning and afternoon with another guy, someone outside of the family. Specifically, a guy who had feelings for me, and who I had shown feelings for, before I left to be stashed away in the future.
It must’ve seemed like I was throwing it in his face. Perhaps it would have been wiser to lie even if he probably knew where I’d been. Maybe Evan was testing me in order to determine if I would admit where I’d been, and what I’d been doing. Maybe he thought that I still had feelings for Gerald.
Realizing that I had been romantic with Gerald, is what made me believe that the strong connection could possibly jolt my memory. But now that I have spent some time with Gerald, I had only found a fondness for him but nothing more. Evan had nothing to worry about in that regard.
My shoes clicked and clacked against the shiny, wood floor. I made my way into the parlor behind him, but stopped abruptly a few steps in. I felt like a selfish fool. I didn't want to hurt him anymore, and I knew that I had. I had hurt him the other night when I rejected him, and now I was doing it again.
My desire to remember was intense. I was painfully confused. Evan sat in the same chair that I spied him sitting in last night while he and Nikolas had their after hour’s discussion. His eyes were closed. It was as if he wanted me to believe that he was snoozing. Strangely, I could hear his heartbeat. I knew it wasn't my own because it seemed to be coming from the leather tufted chair which Evan lounged in. I placed my hand on my chest, and the rhythm of our heartbeats was the same – exactly the same – fast; a beat that reminded me of a ticking time bomb prepared to explode at any second.
Since reading the journals, I knew just how much in love I once was with Evan, and I knew just how overwhelmed I felt with the burden of eliminating the world’s evil. So much that I’d found a sort of peace with Gerald that was forbidden, yet refreshing. But I still behaved like a selfish little jerk then.
Now it must seem like I was doing it all over again. Finally seeing Bethany’s point of view, knots formed in my stomach.
As I stared at Evan, his eyes still shut, I wondered if he was reading my mind, and then I remembered that he was unable to. No one could. That was a definite plus in this madness. Evan looked at peace, but I knew he wasn't. He was planning an attack on Victor before Victor could have a chance to attack the head of the family – me. The sour feeling in my stomach churned on.
“I don't want to lie to you Evan. I don't want to upset you either.” I said, as my hands began to tremble. “I thought by visiting Gerald, I might remember more… of myself. I know that he was a friend to me, in my past, and I desperately need to remember. I’m only human. I want so badly to understand this life.” I finished with a small tremble in my voice. Don't cry, I told myself, and willed the tears that were forming beneath my eyelids to subside.
I wanted Evan to open his eyes, and acknowledge my sincere words. But he kept them tightly shut, as if they were cemented. Evan sat that way – silent –
eyes shut for what seemed like minutes, but where only seconds. The ticktock of the opulent gilded clock sounded amplified, and felt as if it wasn’t resting on the mantle of the fireplace, but on my shoulder at the moment. My heart was beating so fast, and the palms of my hands were moist with sweat. The knots in my stomach were tightening. The thought to turn around, and run up the stairs to my room had just entered my mind when Evan finally spoke – eyes still shut, voice hypnotizing as usual – crisp, yet tender.
“Half human, not only human.” Evan corrected. “During the time you were away… I was human too. I’m of flesh and blood, and capable of mistakes. It’s only damaging when we don’t learn from them.” The feeling of safety intensified as he spoke. Whenever Evan spoke to me it was as if whatever was going horribly bad at that particular moment became all better. My world went quiet when he graced me with his voice. “I'm not upset. It's only a matter of time; therefore, I will wait forever for you if that's how long it takes for you to see what we have. I plan to patiently wait for my fiancé to return to me. I hope that you will.” Evan said, and then sighed softly as if he were satisfied.