“Okay, dress first and then we get you some new pan-tays,”
Amy drawled.
“Please, just tell me where we’re going,” I begged. Camila had told Amy and Cleo where she was taking me on our date. Of course they told Danni and Benny. That couldn’t be helped, chatty bitches.
But Amy was setting a record, keeping a secret from me for a whole three hours. I had zero leverage to make her crack.
“No. Jesus, Ginger. Just let the woman surprise you,” Amy whined.
• 147 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
“Fine.”
We started searching the racks. I wasn’t seeing anything that yelled “My girl will love this,” so I pulled out my phone and continued to text Camila, handing the quest for the perfect date dress over to the girls.
“What’s your best color?” Danni asked.
“Green,” Amy and I said at once.
“We need to get something to match your eyes,” Amy said.
We all took a quick glance around. Everything in the store was in different shades of cream and tan and black.
“Let’s go somewhere else,” Amy said. We all nodded in agreement and followed her across the mall into a co-ed store that catered more to our age bracket and the desires of Amy’s color scheme.
“I hate this place. They’ve never heard of my size,” Benny grumbled as we browsed through the racks.
“I know. Let’s get Ginger squared away and then you and I can hit the big girl stores,” Danni said.
“Here, take this.” Cleo handed me the first green dress she found. Then she looked up at us. “So who hates Samantha?”
“I was waiting for you to say something!” Danni said.
“If you guys hate her so much, then why’d you pick her?” I asked.“Two reasons. Well, three,” Danni said. “Natasha thinks she’s gorgeous. And as you now know, Natasha loves fucking her. Two, she is serious about journalism, and Camila thinks she’ll go far with it. It’s always nice to have someone in the media aligned with them.”
“That is true,” Benny said.
“Three, and she won’t tell you this, but her dad was in OBA,”
Danni said.
“What?” Amy and I yelled. Benny didn’t seem surprised by this news.
“Did you know that?” I asked her. She just nodded and held up a shirt, pretending to read the tag.
“Why was she asking all those bitchy questions then? Her dad should have told her everything,” I said.
• 148 •
Better Off red
“You’ll love this. When she was like ten or something, her dad just up and split. Six months later, he sent her and her mom a shitload of cash and a note explaining that he’d gone nocturnal. And that he was gay.”
“Ooo burn, Sam’s mom,” Amy snorted.
I couldn’t help laughing. “That does suck for her mom. And maybe that’s why Sam’s such a bitch.”
“It is sad, but the bitchiness is no excuse,” Benny said.
“You’re right.” My life before the Carmichaels had been terrible, but I knew how to treat people. Samantha was missing that part of her brain.
“How did you find this out?” I asked, taking a green skirt Amy passed to me. I looked at it and passed it back. “I don’t like that.”
Danni didn’t skip a beat. “One of those nights she was too busy to check in, she was up late, over with the boys. Greg fell asleep and she stayed up talking to Micah. Micah told A.J.—”
“And she told us,” Cleo said.
“Weird,” Amy said, frowning.
“And God, she loved getting spanked last night. That whole teary-eyed lip quiver thing was bullshit. She’d probably miss curfew again if everyone wouldn’t really hate her,” Danni said.
“So it’s okay if we don’t all get along?” I asked. Ninety percent of the time, I wanted to punch Samantha in the face. I was relieved to find out those feelings were okay to share with the group.
“Oh, yeah. Our president last year, Kelly—” Cleo started to say. “Oh, God,” Danni added.
“She was the biggest bitch ever, but Kina loved her. And she was so freakin’ organized.”
“Which is key.” I nodded sternly.
“What’s she doing now?” Amy asked.
“Works for Congressman Whitmore,” Benny said.
I turned to her. “Remind me to keep you close, Benita. What you know scares me a little.”
“It should.” And then I was rewarded with one of Benny’s rare smiles.
• 149 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
“Okay. I like these. Into the dressing room you go,” Amy said, shoving four more dresses in my face.
“Before I do that, just tell me where we’re going.”
“No!” was the unanimous answer I got.
I marched into the dressing room and got a good look at the dresses Amy had picked out for me: a short cocktail number that I knew would make me look like a slut, a green and blue puffy thing that I knew would make me look like a bird, a solid green tank dress with a tutu skirt, which looked ridiculous for the fall weather, and a knit shirt-dress that was too casual. I was in and out of the dressing rooms in record time. All four dresses were cute in theory but looked terrible on me. We tossed those options and moved on to a dozen more stores.
By the time we had a dress, shoes, a clutch, a jacket, a bra and pantie set, and jewelry, I was ready to tap out. Danni and Amy were just warming up, running into Sunglass Hut. I took a seat on the bench outside. Cleo and Benny parked it with me, and the three of us watched Danni and Amy kiss in front of the Prada frames. They both came up for air, giggling like mad when the sales guy got up the nerve to approach them.
“I can’t believe Danni found an even bigger spaz to go out with. They’re perfect for each other,” Cleo said.
“I was just thinking the same thing. Hey,” I said as the thought popped into my head. “Do any of the older girls want to change?”
Cleo knew what I was getting at.
“Paige is thinking about it. She has no real family to speak of. Her mom’s a bitch. Barb’s a no. Why? You thinking about your future with our fearless leader?”
“Actually, no. I already told her I wasn’t going to do it. I’m kinda in your boat. I can’t cut myself off from my family.”
“I’ll be back.” Benny stood and I watched Cleo’s expression as she watched Benny walk away. At that moment, I wished I knew what was on Cleo’s mind. She was never hushed about anything, except Benny. Now that I wasn’t distracted with the doubts of my own sanity, I started to wonder if there wasn’t something more between them.
• 150 •
Better Off red
Benny disappeared around the corner, headed toward the restrooms. Cleo took a deep, almost sad breath then turned to me.
“There are ways to keep the ties with your family, but it’s just as fucked up.”
“How so?”
“Everyone who knows has to become a feeder.”
“Oh. Yeah, that’s not…”
“Exactly. Mama Jones is a preacher. I still haven’t told her I’m gay. No way could I convince her to become demon food. She’d out me and the sister-queens and then have the whole congregation praying for my soul.”
“What about your dad?”
Cleo shrugged. “Her word is gospel in the house too. He knows better than to rock that boat, but for me the whole thing’s a risk. B’s step-dad is an actual demon. Like a real demon. You change and you piss him off, you actually go to hell. It’s one thing to think there’s a hell and something completely different to know there’s a hell. If staying human increases my chance of not going there, that’s where I’ll place my bets. Mortal I shall remain, Miss Ginge.”
She was quiet for a moment. I was quiet too. I figured it was better not say anything about the things Natasha and Rodrick had told me. I glanced toward the restrooms.
“Does Benny want you to change?”
Cleo replied with a deep nod. “She wants to feed me. I just—I can’t.”
So that was it.
“Is that all she wants?”
Just then Benny came back around the corner. There was no way she had gone to the bathroom. She was back too quickly.
“She won’t say. Come here, juicy booty,” Cleo said as she pulled Benny into her lap.
“I’m going to crush you,” Benny muttered. Cleo’s arms went around her waist. She closed her eyes and nuzzled her cheek against the back of Benny’s ABO sweatshirt.
“No. You won’t.”
• 151 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
❖
I gave credit where it was due and admitted Cleo was a better driver than I was. I’d gotten us to the mall safely, but she handled the Range Rover like she was born behind the wheel, weaving smoothly between cars, getting us back across the city in record time. She pulled in front of the dorm, and I couldn’t help shaking my head laughing at her. Cleo was so proud driving that thing like she owned it.
“You guys run up and I’ll park this bad boy,” she said almost seriously.
“Actually, I’m going to get ready by myself,” I said, looking back at Amy.
“Are you sure? I can help you with your hair.”
“I’m sure.” The afternoon had been filled with the kind of pure girlie fun I hadn’t experienced in months, but I was exhausted and needed to clear my head. I also hadn’t had a single second to myself in the past twenty-four hours. Luckily, they understood. They wished me luck, and before I hopped out, I made them promise they would take pictures at the Chi Nu toga party.
Upstairs in my room, the peace and quiet only gave my mind more room to wander. There was this interesting back-and-forth between the part of me that knew this date was going to lead somewhere good, that this was the beginning of something that had a chance to last, and the part of me that refused to overlook a few truths.
Camila was a vampire. I was not and never would be. My life was going to go on, evolve, and at some point, I was going to die, hopefully of natural causes in my sleep, at age eighty, after the best sex ever. Camila would outlive me and almost everyone we knew. There were other things, like wanting her to meet my family, wanting to know everything about her, that might prove to be difficult. My family couldn’t know about her, and something told me that an immortal might have secrets she might never want to share. Past lovers, past lies. We would never really know each other.
• 152 •
Better Off red
But I had to remind myself all of that came with the territory. I wanted her. Bad. And I had to deal with everything that came along with Ms. Sanchez and her never-ending life. I had to trust her and leave our future to the future. Things with her, with Alpha Beta Omega, had turned out surprisingly well so far, and if I could just bring myself to stop stressing so much, things would be okay.
Then Cleo’s words about her mother popped into my head. Not her concerns about her mortality, but her fears about her mother finding out she was gay. I knew now I was definitely attracted to women, and I knew that wasn’t going to change. There were things I couldn’t tell my family about recent developments in my life, but I could tell Todd I was no longer confused. I could tell my mom not to expect to hear about boys from my classes anytime soon. I could tell them both that I had met someone. I’d just skim on the details about who or what that special someone was.
I should have told them in person. This was a huge deal, confessing that Dad would never get a son-in-law to call—well, he had Todd for all that son stuff, but maybe he wanted a son-in-law.
My parents were never going to get truly biological grandkids out of me anyway, so I figured Mom wouldn’t mind that part, but still I imagined at some point she’d imagined she’d help me pick out cake toppers, a man and woman, or that she’d be telling her friends in her quilting club about the amazing man her daughter had met during her academic adventures near the Chesapeake Bay. None of that was going to happen, so I had to tell them.
I felt like a coward using the 3G network to make this announcement, but it would be a while before I got to see my family, and Camila was better than waiting a while. The phone would have to do. Knowing Mom, she’d find a way to tell Dad before I even got the words out of my mouth.
I knew Todd didn’t care who I fell for, and I think my parents felt the same way, but still I found my stomach tying in knots as I stared at my phone.
I chickened out on calling Mom and decided to send Todd a quick text. Then I’d call Mom.
I sat on my bed and typed as fast as my fingers could fly.
• 153 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
Not confused anymore. Have a date tonight.
I hit send and then I waited. Paced around my room and waited some more. When I hadn’t heard back from him fifteen minutes later, I admitted to myself I was stalling. I had to call my mom.
But I’d get undressed for my shower first. So I did that, then I dug out my towel and my shower shoes. And then I checked my e-mail.
Then I called my mom.
Okay, I started to, but my finger didn’t seem to want to make contact with the words Linda/Mobile on my screen.
“Just do it, you puss. You’re already eighteen. It’s not like she’s going to unadopt you. Just call her,” I scolded myself. “Okay. Okay.
Okay. I’m calling her.”
I walked over to my desk then skittered back over to my bed.
I pressed my mom’s number, sat on my comforter, and closed my eyes.“It’s Saturday night. You should be out,” she said instead of hello.“Hi, Mom. I’m going out soon.” I swallowed and started picking nervously at the stuffed panther on my bed. Amy had named him Thackery Binx. I dug my fingernail into the rim of his plastic eye. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
I should I have phrased that differently. I set her off in her typical, Linda-style rampage.
“What’s wrong? You’re not pregnant, are you? Ginger, we’ve talked about birth control. You promised me—”
“Mom, no. I—” I took a deep breath. How the hell do you tell your mom something like this? “I think—I think I’m a lesbian. Well, I know I am. I’m going out with a girl.”
I fell over and buried my face in Thackery’s plush fur, waiting for Mom to disown me.
“Oh.” She actually sounded relieved.
“What do you mean ‘oh’?” I said, sitting bolt upright.
“Sweetie, you’ve never mentioned liking a boy a day in your life. I figured we’d be having this conversation sometime around your freshman year in high school.”