Better Than Perfect (30 page)

“I’m not that famous.” Johnny slid behind the wheel. “Out of uniform, most people don’t even recognize me.”

“But they recognize your name, don’t they?”

“Sometimes. If they’re serious baseball fans.” Johnny wondered what it would be like to be the kid of someone famous. He’d known too well what it was like being the son of someone infamous. The whispers behind his back, the children who were suddenly not allowed to play with him. Later, the teasing and dirty comments about his mother.

Zach fastened his seatbelt.

“Don’t feel like you have to decide anything right away.” Johnny started the engine. “This is all kind of sudden.”

“Yeah, a few months ago you were just some guy we were hoping would sign with the Goliaths.” Zach leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees. “Only a week ago, I found out you and my mom were friends. And now? Now, you might be my dad.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s a lot to take in all at once.” If Johnny’s head was spinning at the sudden change, Zach must be really reeling. And Alice, too.

She wanted time. He’d give it to her. He’d report to spring training, giving them both the space they needed to figure out what they wanted. He knew he wanted Alice. And Zach. The baby, too, if there was one.

He looked over at Zach. The lady at the clinic told him to expect an email within two to three days. He should know the results before he stepped onto the field on Saturday. But he didn’t need an email to tell him what he already felt in his heart. Zach was his son.

And they had a whole lot of catching up to do.

“Do you want to stop and get an ice cream or something?” Johnny suggested. He needed a little more time with Zach before dropping him off.

“Sure. I could eat.” Zach patted his stomach. “I could definitely eat ice cream.”

“As long as it won’t ruin your appetite for dinner?”

“No. I’ll still eat my dinner,” Zach said. “Remember, my mom’s a good cook.”

He ordered an ice cream sundae. With hot fudge, caramel sauce, whipped cream and a cherry on top. Johnny ordered a plain vanilla cone.

“So do you think I could get a cell phone?” Zach asked after they’d settled in to eat their ice cream treats.

“You don’t have one already?” Surely most kids his age did.

“Nope. I’m like, the only kid over ten who doesn’t.” Zach rolled his eyes. “My mom thinks I don’t need one yet.”

“So what’s her name?” Johnny had a feeling there was a reason he wanted one now.

“It’s not because of a girl.” Zach blushed, telling Johnny there was a girl. “I just thought it would be a good way for us to keep in touch. You know, when you’re on the road and stuff.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” Johnny was touched. Even if he knew Zach would be busy texting this mystery girl more than he’d text him. He liked the idea of being able to keep in contact with his son. “I’ll talk to your mother about it.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Zach scooped up the last few bites of ice cream. “But maybe we should pick it out before you leave. So I can be sure to get your number and everything.”

“I’d like that. But we still need to discuss it with your mom.”

“Yeah, maybe you guys could go shopping for it tomorrow.” Zach suggested. “You, know, while I’m at school.”

“That sounds like a good plan.” The kid was trying to get him and Alice back together. Johnny wasn’t going to fight it. He wasn’t going to push too hard, though.

“I suppose you guys are going to do a lot of discussing things about me.” Zach licked the back of his spoon. He’d gotten his money’s worth of the ice cream sundae.

“Hopefully we’ll do a lot of discussion with you, too.” Johnny had no idea how to do this parenting thing. But he did remember what it was like to be a teenage boy. Desperately in need of guidance but afraid and too proud to ask.

He hoped he could answer Zach’s questions before they came up. If they had anything to do with baseball or working toward a goal or even how to juggle school and practice schedules, he felt pretty confident.

If the boy had questions about girls… Well, that was one area where Johnny hadn’t been quite as successful. But he was starting to see where he’d gone wrong.

He’d have to work on fixing it. And Zach was an extra incentive to make sure he did not fail.

* * * *

Alice picked up a huge bunch of daffodils at the market. They were so cheerful and sunny, she couldn’t resist buying three dozen.

She stood on a chair, looking for a vase big enough to hold all of them when Zach and Johnny arrived home from the clinic.

“Ali, let me get that.” Johnny was at her side, steadying her hips just seconds after walking in the door. Sending tremors throughout her body.

“It’s okay. I’ve got it.” She’d wondered what had him so protective and possessive all of a sudden, when she glanced down to see him gazing at her abdomen.

The baby. If there was one.

The timing was about right, but she was getting older. Surely if they were actively trying it would take months. But they weren’t trying to get pregnant. And this morning they’d done nothing to prevent it, either.

“Here, take this.” She handed the vase to Johnny.

He set it on the counter and held his hand for her to take as she climbed down.

“Be careful.” Johnny’s concern was touching, but a little bit too much. Especially if it was only because of her possible condition.

“So how did it go today?” She’d waited until she was on solid ground before asking.

“Good.” Zach tossed his backpack on the kitchen table. “When’s dinner?”

“I haven’t thought about it, but I’ll whip something up.” She wondered if she should ask Johnny to stay. As a peace offering.

“And I was worried stopping for ice cream would spoil his appetite.” Johnny looked at Zach with pride in his eyes. The test was simply a formality, for sure.

“How much homework do you have?” she asked Zach.

“Not much. I’ll take it to my room.” He gave Johnny a knowing smile. “So you two can talk.”

He was up to something.

“So, what does he want?” Alice filled the vase and arranged the flowers in it. She placed it in the center of her kitchen table. Just the cheery effect she was looking for. The fog would roll in over the next few weeks and the flowers might be the only hint of spring for some time.

“A cell phone.” Johnny shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the counter. “I told him I thought it was a good idea, but we had to discuss it first.”

“I suppose I’ve put it off long enough.” She brushed her hair off her forehead. “It’s not that I have anything against cell phones. I find mine quite handy, but it’s…”

“A sign he’s growing up.” Johnny gave her a sympathetic smile.

“Yeah. Too fast for me. Not fast enough for him.”

Johnny nodded. Of course, it had been lightning speed for him.

“I’d like to take care of the phone. If you’ll come with me to pick it out. I have no idea what is appropriate for a kid his age.”

“Sure. Tomorrow?”

“Early works better for me.” Johnny shifted from one foot to the other. “Maybe after you drop him off at school.”

“Do you want to stay for dinner?”

Johnny shook his head, slowly. “I have a lot of packing to do.” He shoved off the counter. “I’m driving down to spring training.”

“It would be easier to fly.”

“Yeah. But you know me. I like the open road. There’s a lot of space between here and Arizona. And I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“Yeah. I guess you do.” She wished she could take it back. All of it. Every single hurt she’d thrown at this man. Every time she’d let her fear get in the way of what could have been something pretty damn special.

“Should I meet you here or the phone store?” Johnny asked.

“Here.”

“Nine thirty?”

“Sure. That would be great.” She wondered if this was how it was going to be from now on. Making appointments for Zach’s sake. Formal. Distant. Excruciating. “Are you sure you won’t stay for dinner?”

His eyes lit up for a moment, but he shook his head. “I think that would be a mistake.” Johnny had his mask on. The one he wore so often on the field. “You know what would happen if I stayed. And I think we both need a little time to cool off.”

She tried to agree, but the words got stuck in her throat.

“We’re not a couple of kids anymore,” he reminded her.

“No. We’re not.”

“I want to do this right.” He hooked his thumbs in his front pockets. “You asked for time. I’m going to give it to you. I think it’s a good thing that I’m going to be in Arizona for a few weeks.”

“A good thing.” She repeated his words. Even though she knew she’d miss him. Terribly.

“Goodnight, Alice.” He leaned toward her, as if he might kiss her, but then backed away.

“Goodnight, Johnny.” She managed to refrain from throwing herself at him. To keep from begging him not to go. But she had to keep some semblance of pride.

He gave her a nod and slipped out her back door.

He would be back. But she wasn’t sure if he’d be back for her, or just their son.

17

Since Johnny’s Jeep was already packed with his baseball equipment and everything he’d need for the month and a half he’d spend down in Arizona, they drove to the cell phone store in Alice’s car. A cute little hybrid SUV that made sense in the city.

Johnny wanted to add Zach’s phone to his plan. It seemed like the least he could do. He’d be sure to ask the salesperson what he’d need to do in terms of monitoring and parental controls. Alice probably already knew all about that kind of thing. Plus, she’d be around for good old-fashioned supervision of the looking-over-the-shoulder variety.

They weren’t in the store five minutes when a twenty-something sales clerk approached them.

“Hi, my name is Jason. What can I do for you today?”

“We’re looking for a phone for our son.” Johnny felt perfectly natural using the term. “He’s thirteen.”

“So he’ll be doing a lot of texting.” The clerk smiled knowingly. “Do you already have a family plan? Or will this be a new service?”

“I want to add it to my plan.” Johnny took charge of the conversation.

“Okay, did you want to pick out the phone first, or check to see what kind of options your plan covers?”

“We’ll get the phone first.” Johnny didn’t have to worry about how he was going to pay for it. At least not until he retired. Even then, there weren’t enough minutes in the day to blow through his savings before he figured out what he’d do next.

Jason led them to the display, showing everything from the basic model, to the flashiest smart phones with all the bells and whistles.

“If you have the one that will clean his room for him, we’ll take that one,” Alice said after listening to the wide variety of features.

“I’m afraid there isn’t an app for that.” Jason chuckled as if he’d heard that one a thousand times.

“We really just want something he can call or text us on.” Alice seemed a little overwhelmed by the choices. Johnny put his hand on her shoulder and was grateful she didn’t pull away.

“Kids don’t call. At least, most of them don’t.” Jason pointed out. “Especially boys. Texting is so much easier.”

“Yeah, if he’s anything like me, he’d rather not talk on the phone.” Johnny hooked his thumbs in his jeans pockets.

“Oh, he’s exactly like you.” Ali smiled up at him. And he felt the bonds of family tighten between them. “Especially when it comes to communication.”

As much as Johnny didn’t want to air their personal grievances in front of a stranger, he didn’t mind the teasing note in her voice.

“Do you have a phone that can translate caveman grunts into poetry?” Johnny decided to play along.

“I don’t think he needs to be reciting poetry any time soon.” Alice had a hint of fear in her voice.