Between Love and Lies (15 page)

Resignation settled like a yoke on her shoulders. She was back to square one. This was what happened when one got distracted from their plans. To hell with distractions, whether they were her health or Cora or Noah.

She downed the foul liquid in one bitter swallow and headed for the stage. Whatever came next, even if it was her death, she’d embrace it alone.

* * *

Noah strode
along the murky corridor of Front Street, his pace increasing with his heartbeat. By the time he reached the bright shaft of light spilling out the saloon door, he was jogging. He took the steps in a single bound. The moment he entered the Star, Sadie’s voice—flowing and ebbing in a sweet, breathless melody—washed over him, soothing him.

She was still here. She was still safe.

He’d been a fool to stay away though, even for a couple of days. What if something had happened in his absence? What if her illness had worsened or someone had tried to hurt her?

Giving her a new home was important, but trying to restrain his feelings for her had been useless. All he’d accomplished was to lay a foundation and erect four walls. The roof, and of course Bat’s blasted fence, remained unfinished while he charged back into town, and the Star, with all the restraint of a stampeding bull.

He needed the impossible—to be in two places at once. He forced himself to slow down, to walk in controlled, measured steps, to advance midway into the room and then to move no more.

He couldn’t control his eyes, though. His gaze clung to Sadie, refusing to budge. And when her beautiful emerald eyes met his, a surge of happiness left him dizzy.

Her wide-eyed look of surprise collapsed into utter sorrow. She missed a word in her song, stumbled on a high note, but kept singing.

His worry propelled him toward her, only to be diverted by an arm twined around his elbow and a soft form plastered against his side. Glancing down, he discovered Cora, her bosom once again overflowing her corset, her lips parted in a breathless, expectant smile.

Mid-sentence, Sadie stopped singing.

He raised his head in time to see her disappear behind the ruby curtains framing the stage. He untangled himself from Cora and shoved his way through the crowd. Ignoring their boos and catcalls, he vaulted onto the stage. When he rounded the swaying drapes and found Sadie in a cramped corridor, he breathed a sigh of relief.

Eyes closed, back pressed to the rough-hewn boards, she stood as if the wall were the one thing keeping her upright. In a hushed almost inaudible voice, she repeated a single word. “Concentrate…concentrate…concentrate.”

His anxiety returned full force. The passageway seemed to tilt. He swayed along with its walls and reached for her. “Sadie, what’s wrong?”

She recoiled from him as if he’d branded her with a red-hot iron. For every step he took toward her, she took one back. She’d done the same thing a year ago on her farm. Her eyes, dark green bruises surrounded by ashen skin, stared at him accusingly before shifting to a point over his shoulder.

Cora’s voice, overflowing with rock-candy sweetness, came from behind him. “Sadie darlin’, the crowd, your admirers, you mustn’t keep them waiting.”

He opened his mouth, intending to tell Cora to go to hell.

Sadie spoke before he could. “Don’t worry, Cora
darling
. I’ll return in a minute. But first I need to speak to Mr. Ballantyne. Alone.” Her bloodless lips compressed into a thin line.

Damnation
. They were no longer on a first name basis. He didn’t waste time looking over his shoulder to gauge Cora’s reaction. He kept his gaze on what mattered most.

Sadie stared back at him with glittering eyes while Cora muttered something indiscernible under her breath. Finally, her boot heels clicked, fast and furious, fading until a brittle silence hung between him and Sadie.

“Your game, with my farm, I refuse to play it anymore.” Her words fell on him like the lash of a drover’s whip, swift and stinging.

“What happened while I was away?”

“I came to my senses. I’m better off on my own. Always have been. I should never have accepted your offer. The price we settled on—”

Head spinning, he latched onto her words. “I’ll give you whatever you ask. Name your price.”

The sadness that flitted across her face made him regret saying anything. Then she lifted her chin in that all-too-familiar manner. “You misunderstand. It’s not my price I’m talking about but
yours
. It’s what I have to pay you.”

“I’ve only asked for your time.”

“Yes. And that’s asking for too much. I have plans that don’t include you.” She pushed past him, returning to the stage and leaving him alone in a world where darkness pressed in from all sides.

CHAPTER 10

Sadie surveyed
the Northern Star’s storeroom and the crates stacked to its ceiling. Crates she’d searched without success before returning them to their tidy rows and columns. Gertie’s passion for organization hadn’t helped her quest.

But now only a single crate remained. It could be the one. She pried off the lid and peered inside.

Hope gave way to disappointment. Again and again. Always the same. Nothing but whiskey bottles and food tins. No watch. No jewelry box.

Would she ever see them again? Would she ever fulfill Edward’s dying request and get out of Dodge?

His jewelry box had been small enough to hold in one hand. It could be anywhere. She’d always assumed it’d be hidden in the saloon. Now, doubt assailed.

Could Gertie have stashed the box elsewhere? Or given it to someone for safekeeping? Neither seemed likely. Gertie wasn’t the type to trust anyone or allow anything of value far from her sight. The madam enjoyed being in control too much.

Could she have already sold Edward’s heirlooms? With Marshal Masterson and his friends guarding Dodge, the sale of stolen goods would warrant special care. Gertie’s best bet would be to take the train east to a city like Chicago where she could make an anonymous sale and still receive top dollar. That’s what Sadie planned to do when she found them. But Gertie hadn’t made such a trip.

Edward’s treasures had to be in Dodge.

But if they weren’t in Gertie’s bedroom, her strongbox or her storeroom, what did that leave? It left Sadie’s thoughts spinning in circles until she couldn’t even remember where she’d started. When she’d found Edward dying in his room at the Great Western Hotel, what had he said?

Find them… Promise me…
What if she couldn’t keep her promise?

Her eyes watered and her nose twitched, making her sniff. She wasn’t crying. It was merely the blasted dust she’d disturbed during her search. She swiped the back of her hand across her eyes. She had to keep looking, but she didn’t know where.

And without her search to keep her thoughts occupied, they went where they shouldn’t.

Noah.

She hadn’t spoken to him since his return last night. He’d tried to approach her repeatedly, but each time she’d forced herself to walk away…when all she’d wanted to do was the opposite.

Dejection made her shoulders slump. She missed talking to him.

Which made her all the more aware that she couldn’t waver in her decision to shut him out of her life. She couldn’t forget how deeply even his temporary disappearance had hurt. The fact that she’d let down her guard, after all the disappointments she’d endured, should have made her even more determined.

She must be more forceful. She had to solve her problems on her own.

She put the lid back on the crate and straightened it to align with its sisters. There. She was tougher than everyone, including herself, believed. She could continue to rebuff Noah. He’d soon give up and leave Dodge for good.

A wave of misery and exhaustion rocked her on her heels. She sat down on the crate with a thump. Resting her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands, she closed her blurry eyes and cursed the dust again.

A groaning creak made her jerk upright.

Gertie stood in the doorway, eyes narrowed into slits. “I’ve been searching everywhere for you, and I find you here?”

Dread squeezed the air from Sadie’s lungs. She’d finally been caught.

“Well?” Gertie demanded. “What’re you doing here?”

“I…”

“Are you hiding?” The outrage raising Gertie’s voice suggested she considered that was the worst thing Sadie could be capable of.

She’d admit to hiding if that deflected attention from what she’d really been doing. Her chest expanded, and she could breathe again. Words continued to fail her, though. She could only stare as Gertie stomped into the storeroom.

“I said I was looking for you.” Her employer halted in front of her. Planting her hands on her hips, she loomed over Sadie. “Why are you sitting there like a lump on a log? Are you feeling all right?”

Sadie shook her head. She hadn’t felt “all right” since she’d come to work for Gertie.

“Christ Almighty, you look like hell,” Gertie snapped, examining her with belated concern. “Don’t go dying on me, girl. Not when I’ve found a buyer for you.”

Sadie’s voice returned, screeching like a rusty gate in a gale. “A buyer?”

Gertie seized her arm and jerked her to her feet and out the storeroom door. “Have no idea what he plans to do with you, what with the shape you’re in. But if he’s willing to pay, I ain’t gonna argue.”

She dragged Sadie into the next room, a fancy one for customers willing to pay extra. The room even had a shelf full of eye-opening books, including one about a girl named Fanny. She’d discovered the collection while searching for Edward’s possessions.

Gertie shoved her onto an enormous four-poster bed. Wherever she looked, a never-ending rainbow of vibrant colors bedazzled her already spinning senses.

“Now listen up, missy. He’s waiting upstairs in your room. I’ll escort him down, while you…” She shook her head and threw up her hands. “Just don’t pass out while I’m gone. And try to act like you’re worth a hundred dollars. I don’t want him to take one look at you and demand his money back.”

“A hundred dollars?” Sadie gasped. But she was speaking to Gertie’s broad backside. The madam had rushed out the open door.

The urge to flee trumped everything. She raced toward her freedom only to be brought up short by John’s unexpected appearance in the doorway. She searched his eyes, silently beseeching him to let her pass.

He met her stare. Solid. Unmovable.

Her gaze dropped to the gap between him and the doorframe. She’d slipped through smaller spaces.

“My orders say yer to stay in this room.” His tone was somber. “I don’t want to hurt you again.”

Ugly images from a year ago charged through her mind: John coming after her, finding her all too easily, bringing her back, and then…Gertie ordering him to show Sadie, with his two-tailed leather strap, why it wasn’t a good idea to run.

She set her teeth and lifted her chin, glaring at him through stinging eyes.

“Hate me all you want. I’ve earned it. But don’t go askin’ me to do somethin’ I can’t. We’re the same in that at least. We both got control over nothin’. Dodge owns me, same as it does you.”

Shock made her retreat a stride. He’d never said anything about his reasons for being at the Star. He’d never shared how he got his scars either. She took another step back, so she could better scan his face.

His mood remained indiscernible. “Now you buck up. You’ll get through this, same as you done everythin’ else. Yer tiny as a mouse but tougher ’n rawhide.” He closed the door, leaving her gaping at nothing but wood.

To hell with that. This mouse is leaving!

She raced to the window. Despite all her heaving, it wouldn’t budge. Her gaze fell to the hunk of metal on the sill. Locked and rusted. Lord knew when it’d last been used. It was her one hope. She raked her fingers through her hair in search of a pin. Muffled voices came from behind her and the door, growing louder. She spun to face them.

Hard against her spine, the window mocked her while keeping her upright. She’d wasted too much time trying to convince John to let her go. She was about to pay dearly for that mistake.

The door burst open and Cora barraged into the room. John’s bulk blocked her attempts to shut the door behind her.

“Leave Sadie alone,” he growled. “She don’t need you revelin’ in her misfortune right now.”

Cora laughed. “You’re the oddest box herder Gertie ever hired. A rich man willing to pay a bundle for a woman ain’t a bad thing an’ as you can plainly see—” she held up the yards of silk draped over her arm, “—I’m only here to make Sadie presentable. Why else would I be lugging this dress around?”

John’s gaze swung from Cora to Sadie. He gave her a look full of pity, then closed the door.

As soon as he did, Cora bore down on her with a swift stride. She didn’t even pause when she tossed the dress on the bed. Sadie braced herself for a fight.

Instead, Cora folded her arms and leaned against the window frame so they stood face to face. “Bet you wish you could crawl through this window an’ run like a rabbit.”

Sadie flinched. Cora was definitely here to gloat. She mimicked Cora’s stance and scoured her mind for a way to make the woman leave. All she could think was that at any time the door would open again. This time it’d be Gertie and her buyer.